Category Archives: Confidence

The Eyeball Sees All

Reverse Polarity Stealing Pattern

Once upon a time there was a petrified forest.

A petrified forest is made up of really old plants that have fossilized.

Turned to stone.

Put a whole bunch of these old, fossilized plants together, and you’ve got a petrified forest.

There’s a national park in the United States.

You can go and check it out if you want.

Many people do.

But they had a problem.

A lot of the petrified wood was loose. Just laying around on the ground.

And people would look around, make sure nobody was looking, and pick up a piece.

Quite a lot of people did, in fact.

So the national park service had a problem.

Since the place was so big, they couldn’t really hire a bunch of petrified cops to make sure people don’t take anything.

That would be REALLY expensive.

So they decided to use a public education campaign.

They figured that if they let everybody know that people were stealing, the “stealers” would know that everybody else knew, and they wouldn’t steal.

So they put up signs (cheaper than hiring cops, right?) that said:

“Did you know that over ten percent of visitors of the petrified forest take home illegal souvenirs?”

The idea was people would be shocked, and voluntarily look out for the dastardly folks who were doing all the evil stealing.

Only it had the opposite effect.

As it turns out, PLENTY of people were thinking, “Hmm, I’d love to take a piece of this home, but I don’t want to get in trouble.”

Then they saw the sign, saying that ten percent of people steal souvenirs.

And that make it MORE likely they would steal something themselves.

It gave them SOCIAL PROOF.

The people would look around, not see anybody else stealing, and think, “If I steal this, I might be the only one, I’d better not.”

But they would still want to take a piece home.

Then they’d see the sign and think, “Wow, if ten percent of people are stealing, I may as well steal too!”

The geniuses who designed and put up the sign couldn’t understand why the signs INCREASED the amount of theft.

Until they hired a marketing genius (a real genius) who explained it to them.

All they had to do was to flip the numbers.

And do so in a general way.

“Most people want to steal but decide not to. What will you do?”

It made them feel like they were going to be in the evil minority if they picked up a piece.

This is what happens when you understand these ancient triggers that motivate us on deep levels.

You can speak the language of unconscious persuasion.

And get people to do whatever you want.

Learn How:

Seven Laws

Super Genius Of All Time

The Sentence Shift That Made Millions

Most people know about the Pareto Principle, or the 80-20 rule.

Eighty percent of the “work” of any system is done by twenty percent of the system.

Twenty percent of your clothes you wear eighty percent of the time.

Publishers make eighty percent of their revenues from twenty percent of their books.

Twenty percent of sales people in any company make eighty percent of the sales.

Most of the time, this just happens naturally.

When you bought one of your twenty percent shirts, you probably felt the same as when you bought one of your eighty percent shirts.

“Hey, this looks cool!”

But one of them ended up in the 20-80, while the other ended in the 80-20.

Same with a lot of sales jobs.

They just hire people, and figure they’ll sort themselves out.

And when it comes to sales, some people are naturally “good” and some people are naturally “not so good.”

But if you start to understand human nature, human thinking, etc., you can EASILY catapult yourself into the top twenty.

Or the top twenty of the top twenty.

Because IN that top twenty, the Pareto Principle still applies.

Mathematically, it means that 4% of any given system is doing more than 60% of the work.

4% is twenty percent of twenty percent. 60% (or 64% to be specific) is eighty percent of eighty.

How do you do that?

Here’s a very famous case.

A company was selling things on TV.

This was way back before the Internet, or even cell phones.

But despite how well the product tested out in pre-release marketing, it was a dud on TV.

So they called in a Fixer.

A lady who was an expert in selling anything to anybody.

She looked at the entire system, the product, the commercial, all the people, even what they were wearing.

And she only made ONE small change.

And the sales went from ZERO to THROUGH THE ROOF.

What was the change?

The final call to action was, “Call now, operators are standing by!”

But what this did was create an image of a bunch of operators sitting around waiting for customers.

Not very enticing!

She (the super genius marketing lady) changed that one sentence to:

“Call now! If operators are busy, please be patient!”

This created a MUCH DIFFERENT image in the TV viewers mind.

It fired both scarcity AND social proof.

Social proof because it implied that tons of people were calling. That’s why the operators would be busy.

But scarcity also because if other people are calling, and you wait too long, by the time you call, they might run out of stuff!

(FOMO, or fear of missing out, is based on scarcity).

One small tweak made the company TONS of money.

How many tweaks can you make?

Learn How:

Seven Laws

Magic Woman Trick

The Secret Rules of Life

Imagine playing a game of basketball without knowing the rules.

You had to play before you knew how.

And the only way to learn was to learn by playing.

If you had two teams under these conditions, it might actually be pretty interesting.

Assuming you had refs and scorekeepers who DID know the rules.

Part of your strategy would be to figure out the rules BEFORE the other team did, but to keep them secret as long as possible.

After all, if your team knew the rules and the other team didn’t, you’d have a HUGE advantage.

Now imagine ONLY your team didn’t know the rules.

The other players, the other coaches, all the fans, the scorekeepers, and the refs knew the rules.

But you and your team had your memory wiped or something.

It would be horrible!

For many of us, this is EXACTLY what it feels like during our normal lives.

It’s like everybody else knows the rules, knows all the secrets, but they forgot to tell us.

We’re shuffling along, trying our best, and everybody’s just whizzing by having the time of their lives.

Sometimes it even seems like they purposely tilted the rules in their favor.

And to a certain degree, they have.

Despite our system of “laws,” the golden rule will always apply to some degree.

The golden rule being, “He who has the gold makes the rules.”

But if you can understand how the game is played, it’s not so bad.

Especially if you not only get how the game is played, but how people think.

This would be like knowing the playbook of the other team, AND knowing which plays they were about to play.

Of course, how you USE this information is up to you.

But you better believe that plenty of people who DO know these inside ideas are using them to benefit themselves, at the EXPENSE of others.

You can think of knowing these as a kind of insurance policy.

Just in case.

Learn More:

Cult Leader

Set Them Free

Custom Made Personality

When I was a kid everybody was into skateboarding.

And we all had our own “custom” skateboards.

Certain kinds of wheels, the board itself, the bearings.

There was one surf-skate shop me and my friends would hang out downtown.

When we were both saving up our money to buy our next board.

We’d look over all the choices and put other the ideal board.

Same when we were buying Vans.

You could have them custom make all the colors.

They had this big book of fabric you could look through and pick all the different swatches for the different parts of your shoes.

Being able to put together a custom set of ANYTHING is pretty cool.

Sometimes we take it for granted, like ordering a meal at a restaurant.

Because it’s “normal” we don’t get excited about being able to choose between fries and a baked potato.

But other areas, we don’t even consider that we have choice.

If you look closely, however, you’ll see that we ALWAYS have choice.

Or almost always.

You can’t really choose to be taller.

But you can choose pretty much everything else about who “you” are.

Most people don’t think of things like social skills, communication skills or charisma as something we can “custom order.”

We tend to think of it like height or how much hair we have.

But if you look just below the surface, there is much more choice than most people realize.

It’s not quite the same from picking swatches out of a book and waiting for your custom made personality to come in the mail.

But you CAN build it however you like.

All you need is a model.

Somebody to copy.

After all, modeling (or copying) is how you learned a LOT of things.

Walking, talking, etc.

And if you’re going to model some folks to custom build a better personality (or better social skills or persuasion skills or leadership skills or WHATEVER skills) you may as well choose the most outrageous.

You can always “dial back” the parts that are too much.

And fine tune the PERFECT set of skills.

Learn How:

Cult Leader

Dig Below The Surface

Social Circle of Lovers

They say you can’t make a second first impression.

This is sort of true, but like a lot of these “truisms” there’s a lot more than a clever saying.

The idea is based on a couple of other very general ideas.

One is that most of our communication is unconscious.

Body language, voice tonality, facial expressions.

It’s pretty easy to scan a room and find out who’s confident and relaxed, and who is nervous and closed off.

The second is that people form an opinion within a few seconds.

The idea then, is because that opinion is formed early, AND it’s done based on unconscious communication, then the image we project will be pretty consistent.

Our unconscious communication is the sum total of our beliefs, ideas about ourselves and the world, etc.

And because our beliefs don’t usually change by very much, then our unconscious communication, the energy we are always projecting, won’t change much.

But one thing that CAN change is HOW we use our verbal communication.

Most people use an “outside-in” type of communication.

Whenever we talk to others, we try and take OUR ideas out of OUR heads, and then put them into THEIR heads.

This comes across as us telling stories or anecdotes.

But it’s especially true when we have an idea of how we want the other person to respond.

Which is almost ALWAYS the case.

Even if the conversation is initiated by somebody else, everything we say comes with a desired outcome.

Sometimes that outcome might be to answer their question as easily and politely as possible, so they will leave us alone.

But when we do the approaching, or the initiating, we usually have a very clear idea of what we want to happen as a result.

And so long as we use the “outside-in” communication style, that “you can’t make a second first impression” usually holds true.

But it won’t be true if you flip the switch.

And instead of using an “outside-in” style (trying to put your ideas into their mind) you use an “inside-out” style.

This is where you ask them simple questions, and get them talking about things they like.

Most people aren’t expecting that.

Most people are expecting an “outside-in” style.

And that comes with a lot of assumptions.

But because speaking to them in an “inside-out” style is way different than they expect, they’ll soon learn that their impression was VERY incorrect.

Simply because people LOVE to talk about the things they like.

But when you take it even further, and continue talking to them that gets them feeling REALLY good, then you will do something pretty cool.

You will leave SUCH an amazing impression on them, they’ll NEVER be able to forget you.

So if you don’t even have any intentions other than making them feel really good, you will slowly be filling your social circle (or business contacts) with people who think you are AWESOME.

Learn How:

Secret Agent Persuasion

DNA of Success

Cut Through Their Social Anxiety

Most people have a certain amount of social anxiety.

Meaning that few people feel entirely comfortable around others.

If you define “total comfort” as how you feel when you are alone, and can say and do anything without worrying, then EVERYBODY has a form of “social anxiety.”

Everybody has things they feel comfortable saying and doing when they are alone, that they would NEVER do around others.

For example, have you ever been “caught” signing in the car?

You’re favorite tune is on, your belting it out along with the band, but then you glance around and somebody right next to you is watching you.

Few people would continue EXACTLY as they were before they were “caught.”

Even if you smile to yourself and change your volume, even slightly, you are responding because of social anxiety.

Sure, it may be perfectly acceptable social anxiety, but the structure is the same.

It’s also that same that keeps us from fully expressing ourselves the way we want.

Any time you have an idea in your head, and you imagine expressing it a certain way, but it comes out “differently” the inhibiting factor is social anxiety.

Social = You are around other people

Anxiety = An uncomfortable feeling of worry

Just that when people say, “I have social anxiety,” we assume they mean debilitating levels.

Like they can’t even go outside, or they vomit when they think of talking to attractive people.

But the truth is that EVERYBODY has anxiety of SOME level, whenever thinking about behaving socially.

It’s human nature.

Which is a good place to start from when intending to persuade anybody.


Because in order to persuade somebody, you have to put things in terms that they can understand.

(Unless you are using the, “do it my way or else” strategy).

Which means they have to be COMFORTALBE sharing with you something about what they want.

But most people, when you ask them, “What do you want?” aren’t going to feel comfortable telling you.

Even people who have been in intimate relationships have trouble telling each other what they want.

Luckily, there is a very EASY way to get them thinking about what they want.

A simple question process, which when used correctly, doesn’t even require that they speak.

Which means you can get deep inside their mind, and find their most treasured desires.

And since they’ll feel comfortable thinking and talking about those deepest desires with YOU, they’ll start to subconsciously associate those two things.

Their deepest desires and you.

Learn How:

Secret Agent Persuasion

Magic Fantasy Land

How To Leverage Ancient Human Desire

Once upon a time, humans had very little.

It was us and all the other animals.

Eventually, some clever caveman figured out how to sharpen a rock.

Another caveman figured out how sling that rock through the air.

And through this “action at a distance,” they could hunt much more effectively.

The next greatest discovery was the idea of growing stuff to eat, rather than chasing stuff.

Unless you’re stuck in a horror movie, plants don’t tend to fight back when you try to eat them.

AND if you plant them the right way, they’ll keep giving you food every year.

The next greatest invention?

There were a lot of small ones, but the one that REALLY made society explode was the idea of “potential stuff.”

Up until this “potential stuff” was discovered, people had to trade what they had for what they wanted.

For example, if you wanted a burrito, and all you had was a sack of horseshoes, you’d have to find somebody that both WANTED a sack of horseshoes AND had a burrito, preferably one that wasn’t too old and moldy.

Since trading a sack of horseshoes for a burrito was pretty difficult, they needed a “placeholder” for the horseshoes.

Something the guy could trade the horseshoes for, and keep, and then give those same things to the guy who had the burrito.

What was this invention?

This “potential stuff?”

This “placeholder?”

Money, of course!

Once people could trade their stuff for money and keep money, they could live a lot more relaxed.

This same process exists today, even though the chain of money from us to the makers of whatever we are buying is extremely tedious.

AND that nearly everything we buy is made from TONS of people. Just think of all the people involved in the production of the device you are now reading this on.

The engineers, the designers, the advertisers and marketers, all the scientists from hundreds of years ago that discovered the principles upon which this device is based.

Even the first dudes who invented written language are involved.

Every single “trade” from the dawn of time to the time you bought this device and everything you’ll buy today, involve the same process.

We want what we DON’T have MORE than what we are giving in exchange.

Every single time somebody trades something, whether it’s a few hundred dollars for a wired device, to kids trading baseball cards, the process is the same.

And the GREAT NEWS is that what they WANT is based on THEIR own subjective values.

Why is this great news?

Because subjective values are EASY to INCREASE.

And if you can INCREASE DESIRE for whatever you have, (or even for you) you will also increase the chances of them taking whatever action you want them to take, to satisfy that desire.

How, exactly, do you do that?

With These:
Hypnotic Sales

Create Your Own Success

Build Your Own Blueprint

I’ve always liked building stuff.

When I was a kid I had a set of Lego’s.

They usually came in a kit so you could build what they wanted, but you could also build whatever you wanted, so long as you had all the parts.

Which was also a good marketing strategy, because the more kits you bought the more raw materials you could have to build all kinds of stuff.

Hot Wheels were kind of the same.

You had a bunch of cars, and you had various pieces of tracks. You could build it according to the picture, or you could build whatever you wanted.

Of course, not everything is like that.

If you went to Ikea or any other furniture store that sells “need to be assembled” stuff, you pretty much have to stick to the instructions.

Otherwise you’re bookcase will fall apart in the middle of the night while you’re sleeping (ahem).

On the other end of the spectrum, you could go to Home Depot a bunch a bunch of boards, nails and saws.

Then build whatever you want.

Either straight from your imagination, or from blueprints.

Or a combination of both.

Some blueprints are pretty straightforward.

Others are take a while to figure out.

(Some are straight up fantasies, like how to build a combustion engine that runs on water).

Like if you were to build a bookcase, it would be pretty simple.

All you really need is to cut the wood in the right sizes.

On the other hand, building a house would require a LOT more knowledge and work.

Plumbing, electricity, insulation, etc.

But it would still work, if you had the skills, time and building materials.

Luckily, pretty much anything you’d want to learn is on YouTube somewhere.

There’s one thing that DOESN’T have a blueprint.

Unfortunately, it’s the most IMPORTANT thing.

Your life.

Sure, there’s plenty of people that would LOVE to tell you HOW to build your life, but that tends to help THEM more than it would help YOU.

In order to build YOUR life to help YOU most, you’ve got to design your own blueprints.

Luckily, that’s pretty easy.

Since your DNA is programmed with blueprint building technology.

Just point yourself in the direction you want to go (more money, more health, better relationships) and get started.

So long as you’re only looking a couple of weeks or months out into your future, you’ll know EXACTLY what to do to keep moving forward.

Get Started:

End Self Sabotage

Wrap Their Minds In Magic

Mesmerize The Entire Room

One time I was hanging out with a group of friends one night in a hotel lobby.

One of us mentioned he would like to be more socially outgoing.

Another one of us asked him a couple of questions, and then started talking.

For a few minutes, we just listened to this guy talk.

I had not clue what was going on.

Later I realized he was using Ericksonian Hypnosis.

Using NLP and bunch of other patterns to rearrange the guys fears.

Flipping them back on themselves.

The evening was pretty interesting after that.

When people think of being a charismatic conversationalist, there are two extremes to achieve this.

One is to forget yourself completely, and ask directed questions to your listener.

To expand the things they like, and get them talking in specific detail about things that light up their imagination.

Of course, there are limitations to this.

Make no mistake, it is an INCREDIBLY powerful way to get somebody SUPER EXCITED in a very short amount of time.

But the main drawback is you can only use it on ONE person at a time.

AND you have to be talking about things that are “OK” to talk about.

Which makes it PERFECT for sales.

But if you’re in any kind of social situation, where it’s not really appropriate to focus ONLY on one person, (and you might want to ask them things you’re not supposed to ask them about), what then?

Then you shift to the OTHER END of the spectrum.

Where you talk, and they listen.

Luckily, there is a systematic way to build up the things you talk about.

You’ll still be talking about normal things, but you’ll be talking about them in a way that will have everybody on the edge of their seat.

Hanging on every word.

What’s even better is you don’t HAVE to use this “system” on groups.

You can use it on individuals with just as must effect.

People you know, people you don’t.

All of it, or some of it.

And once you see the world through this communication model, nothing will ever look the same.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Storytelling

What Is She Waiting For?

Give Them The Gift Of Interpreting You

There’s a saying in seduction circles that’s meant to keep guys from texting or calling too much.

(But it works both ways).

It’s based on a mistake so common you’ll see it in plenty romantic comedies.

If you make yourself too available, the other person will lose interest.

This, of course, is based on the law of scarcity.

If we think something is NOT scarce, (e.g. abundant and always available) we’ll value it less.

If we think something IS scarce, we’ll value it more, assuming we have some affinity for it in the first place.

The saying is to, “give her the gift of missing you.”

The idea being when a girl likes a guy, she likes thinking and wondering about him.

When she is “missing” and “thinking about” him, it will make seeing him much more valuable.

On the other hand, if he’s TOO available, it will kill her feelings.

You can apply this theory to your language.

If you are always extremely clear and specific about everything you talk about, you won’t give them anything to wonder about.

You’ll be known as “detail man” since you are always going into huge amounts of detail.

While this is nice, they’ll have very little reason to think about what you are saying.

You’ll be conditioning them to “turn off” their brains when they see you.

Since you speak in so much specific detail, they don’t need to think.

To them, you’ll be like a TED talk on YouTube.

You don’t require ANY amount of interactivity on their part.

This is fantastic if you just want to give speeches about interesting topics.

But it won’t let them wonder about you.

One of the cool things about many movies and literature is we can discuss what it MEANS.

Everybody can have their own interpretation.

But this isn’t possible when you speak with such specificity there is no way to “interpret” what you are saying.

Nobody gets together to talk about what TED talks “mean.”

The implications, yeah. But not the meaning.

But we LOVE talking about the “meaning” of characters and stories and ideas.

When you can make “specific vagueness” part of your natural communication style, you will give people the GIFT of “interpreting you.”

Or wondering about what you really “mean.”

You’ll also develop the “aura” that most people like, but have zero idea how to CREATE.

Of somebody who is intensely interesting, but nobody is quite sure why.

Street Hypnosis