Tag Archives: Persuasion

Get Lucky

Knock Three Times For Luck

We humans are pretty goofy with our superstitions.

There’s a pretty funny TV show where a guy was staying at his friends house.

The friend’s name was Charlie. Charlie’s mom came downstairs to lock the front door, and then turn out the lights.

But she did everything in threes.

Meaning she locked and unlocked the door three times. Turned the light off and on three times.

Each time counting, “one, two, three.”

Finally Charlie’s friend asked Charlie’s mom why she did that.

“So Charlie doesn’t die,” she said matter-of-factly.

Charlie shrugged, like it was no big deal.

While that was a pretty funny scene, we humans are pretty crazy when it comes to superstitions.

Like “knock on wood,” which means “good luck” originates from back when they thought evil spirits lived in trees, and by knocking the tree, you’d chase away the bad spirits.

Scientists believe that we humans “connect” feelings and emotions to things pretty easily.

It helped us survive when we had to chase food, and sometimes food chased us.

Back in those days, you couldn’t afford to sit around and reason things out.

Yet here we are, connecting goofy feelings to things that don’t really make sense.

Of course, you can use this if you want.

(Just be careful!)

One way is to get people talking about things they really want.

Their ideal future. How they imagine it happening.

The more you get them speaking in specific detail (using their ideas and their words) the better they’ll feel.

And you can easily “connect” those good feelings to pretty much anything you want.

So long as you aren’t overtly cheating them, they’ll love you.

Especially if you’re selling anything.

Why?

Because if the product is anywhere close to being a good fit, they’ll ALWAYS associate it with their deepest desires.

Of course, you don’t need to use this to sell things.

If you just want them to feel really good, and associate those good feelings with you, it will work just as well.

Click Here To Learn More

Quickly And Effortlessly Overcome Objections

Oh Yea? Says You!

So the other day I was having an argument with a friend of mine. Not really an argument, although it could have easily turned into one if either one of us had a hugely vested interested in our opinions, which we both agreed were merely opinions. We’d argued/discusses several issues at length enough times to know that pretty much either issue we choose, it’s fairly easy to shoot holes in each others arguments, and we almost always end up agreeing to disagree.

One of the things we do sometimes is to play devils advocate one each other, if that’s even the right term. We pick an issue, an issue that we disagree on, and which is highly controversial, such as gun control, or abortion, or animal rights, and argue the opposite that we normally would.

I actually met this guy several years ago in a sales seminar, and that was one of the ways they taught us to overcome objections, was to put yourself in the customers shoes, and come up with as many objections as possible. The seminar itself was based on the overcoming objections part of the sales process. One of the things we learned was that the best way to overcome an objection is to not only defeat it, but to bring it up before the other person even thinks about it. In technical terms this is called “pre framing” as opposed to “re framing.” When you reframe something, you take an already stated objection, and try to twist it around so it’s not such a big objection. The problem with this is that many times, by the time the person has formulated the though well enough to present a coherent objection, they’ve usually been thinking about it for a while, and it’s pretty well entrenched in their mind.

So a great way to get rid of objections is to simply reframe them before they come up, or preframe them. That way when the client starts to formulate the thought that would have otherwise turned into an objection, instead they’ll think what you want them to think.

Here’s a great example that I witnessed in real time, several years ago. While you may object to the content of my example, the structure of how the particular objection in question was handled before it came up was particularly elegant. I was eating dinner at a restaurant with a group of guys. One of the guys, who was around 40 years old at the time, liked the younger ladies. He wouldn’t date anyone older than mid twenties. (If you find this distasteful, please press on. The example lies in the structure, not the content.)

At the time of this incident, the TV show ER was really popular, and starred George Clooney, who was the latest heartthrob. I believe at the time Clooney was late thirties. So my friend was flirting with this young waitress. I don’t think he intended to actually follow throw, he was just practicing his “game,” so to speak.

They were flirting back and forth, with eye contact, and conversations that lasted jut a tad bit longer than your normal waitress/customer interaction. He asked what she did when she wasn’t waitressing. She mentioned that she was in nursing school. He smiled and said, “Oh, you want to be like on ER, right?” And she blushed, as it was obvious that she liked that show, and at least entertained the idea of being a glamorous nurse like on TV.

So my friend, noticed a golden opportunity to preframe the “how old are you” question, that younger girls sometimes ask seemingly older guys. While she was still smiling about the thought of being a nurse “like” on ER, my friend says:

“Me and George Clooney have the same birthday.”

Now if she fantasized at all about being a nurse on ER, she surely fantasized, at least a little bit, about George Clooney. And my friend put himself in that same category in her mind. If he decided to pursue this girl (he didn’t,) and the age question ever began to arise in her mind, she would remember him having the same age as George Clooney, and of course she wouldn’t have a problem with George Clooney, so the age question was deflected and dismantled before it ever came up.

When I asked him later on how he was able to think in the moment like that, and preframe a pretty powerful objection right there on the spot, in real time, he told me it was simply through practice. He had dated quite few younger girls, and they would inevitably come up with the same questions. So what he did was to write out all the questions he got over and over, on some business size cards. And everyday, while he was taking the train to work, he would flip through the cards, look at the questions, and think of the best way to answer them that would respect the questioner, and also put himself in the best possible light.

He said that after he did that for a while, he began to see the questions coming long before they were ever actually expressed verbally, and easily preframe them. After a while, they never, ever came up again, and he enjoyed much more success (take that however you will) with his pursuit of dating younger girls.

In that sales seminar I went to, they taught us the same thing. To make a list of all the objections you get on a regular basis, and figure out the best way to answer so that you’re not disregarding or disrespecting your client, but you’re also putting your product or your service in the best possible light.

If you take the time to actually write down the objections you get the most, and practice going over some possible answers, you’ll find that they begin to come up more and more, and you’ll even be preframing them conversationally without even realizing it. To the untrained eye, they will seem to have magically disappeared.

Another thing we learned at the seminar was a way to increase mental flexibility and open mindedness. And that was through purposely arguing a point that you don’t believe in, with a willing partner. Take an issue, like some of the ones I’ve listed above, find a willing partner, and choose opposite sides that you’d normally take, and let the battle begin.

Use all your skills of persuasion and sales to convince the other person, while resisting their argument (which is the way you really feel). Do this few times and you’ll never look at the same old issues again.

(advertisement)

To easily discover many powerful ways to skyrocket your success in any endeavor, persuasion or otherwise, check out the link below. Find out why more and more people today are beginning to realize the vast potential of NLP:

Success with NLP

Success with NLP

How To Maximize Your Most Valuable Resource

The Master Key

One of the advantages of being human, and not some other animal is that we have the ability to imagine different scenarios in our minds. Some evolutionary psychologists argue that was one of the driving forces that led to human, rather than some other animal developing a big brain.

In all animals, there are basically two driving forces, which propel them forward through evolution. Between species, and within species. Between species is a fight with other animals for resources, namely food, and shelter if that’s the kind of animal we’re talking about. Many times a food source is linked closely with a location, so an animal can develop a strong sense of territoriality.

Within species, it’s a whole different ballgame. Within species, the competition is largely between the males for the females. Generally speaking, the females choose the males best suited to provide the best DNA. They don’t consciously decide, rather their instincts and impulses are shaped over many generations, so that the ones who have the impulses to mate with the fittest males are selected for survival, and others who happen to be driven to mate with unhealthy males are naturally selected out.

Different animals have different methods to determine who is the fittest male. Usually it is based somehow on aggression, and physical dominance. In gorilla’s, the silver back is the biggest. In elephant seals, the dominant male is the most aggressive. In peacocks, the ones with the most colorful tales are deemed the most fit. Scientists suspect there is a correlation between colorfulness of tail feathers, and resistance to parasites and disease. So when females use colorfulness of tail feathers as their deciding factor, they’re also giving their future offspring genes with strong resistance to disease and parasites.

So what was the inter-species driving force in humans? Apparently it was brain size. Language, imagination and creativity are highly desirable traits in males, according to anthropologists. They say that in parts of the world where tribes still live according to ancient ways, the tribal leaders, who usually have many wives, are extremely eloquent, persuasive, and charismatic speakers. The driving force with which humans were selected over the last million years was our ability to use words. And not just putting a couple of words together, like “give me a banana,” but to string them together in such a way as to evoke powerful emotions in others.

Think of this scenario. Millions of year ago, there were several tribes. The women naturally fell for the guys that had serious game, meaning they could woo the women with only their words. They could use their words to organize and lead hunting parties, so they were instrumental in the survival of the group. They could use their words to form coalitions and defuse potentially dangerous situations between rivals. They naturally had more kids that the not so eloquent, and every successive generation produce more and more eloquent people. This in turn creates evolutionary pressure to build bigger and bigger brains to accommodate this need.

There is another reason for the ever-increasing brain of man. Humans were nomadic for the bulk of our human history. Humans had to think and plan and to imagine different scenarios, and weigh the probable outcomes, and then decide which would be the best course of action. Even throwing a spear at a gazelle that was running at an odd angle required a quick calculation and projection into the future of a couple seconds, so the spear thrower in question would know where to point he spear, how hard to throw it, and what angle. This was all done unconsciously, without any thought of the thrower. He just knew. This required immense computational power, involving delicate visualization skills.

Your brain is the result of millions of years of evolution that created a computer with such power that we will likely never create a machine that can even come close to its abilities. You can think into the future, imagine hundreds of different scenarios, judging each one by it probable effect on your future, and come back with a decision on what to do. All within a split second, and all out of your conscious awareness.

Your brain can think of desire, a goal, an intention, and through the powerful use of language, enlist the help of others to make your imagination about the future come true. Your brain can take thought, and turn it into reality.

In the last twenty years or so, there has been a huge leap in understanding in how the brain works. There have been several different strategies designed and codified to take the mystery out of how some people are wildly successful, while others struggle. Experts have been modeled, and their unconscious methods have been uncovered and described in precise detail, so that the rest of us can emulate them, and achieve exactly the same success as them.

That is the promise of NLP. With NLP you have an operators manual for your brain, perhaps the most complicated thing ever created in the history of the universe. You have the keys to unlocking exactly how achieve whatever it is you want. Hundreds of thousands, if not millions, have already discovered how NLP can powerfully enhance your life in as many ways as you can imagine.

With NLP, there is no more need for hoping, or wishing, or disappointment. There only desires, planning, and achieving. To find out how you can start uncovering your magnificently powerful potential today, click on the banner below.

Success with NLP

Success with NLP

How To Easily And Powerfully Persuade Others And Get What You Want

Four Simple Steps

If you have ever wanted to learn some powerful Jedi skills of mind control, then this article is for you. I’ll give you a couple simple tricks that will work powerfully to persuade somebody, whether they be a friend, stranger, client, or a target of your romantic interest. These can work either through repeated meetings, or after only a one-time encounter. The following are designed for face-to-face communication. Persuasive writing will be covered in future post. One word of caution, these are very powerful, and can easily be abused. The sad truth is that many people don’t have much resistance to these, and as P.T. Barnum is famous for saying, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” So long as you are always shoot for a win-win outcome, you should be OK. Now that I’ve got the standard disclaimer out of the way, let’s get started.

Step One – Determine Your Outcome

This is the most often overlooked, yet most important step. Without a specific outcome in mind, you will never get there. Many people fail to choose an outcome simply because they fear the pain of coming up short. They hope they only end up someplace halfway decent. Sometimes you get lucky, and you. Other times you go home empty handed. Think of how you’d like to end the interaction. A sale, the other person carrying out your task, one of your kids cleaning their room, or that guy or girl at the bar going home with you only after a couple hours of conversation. The more specific outcome you choose, the easier it will be to construct your strategy.

Step Two – Develop Rapport

Much is written (and misunderstood) about this simple concept. Rapport is simply a deep feeling of familiarity with somebody. When you feel similar to somebody, whether you’ve known them for an hour or ten years, you are much less likely to put up any mental resistance to their ideas. The more similarities you can find with this person, the better. Beliefs, history, background, hopes, goals, whatever you can find. The easiest way to quickly develop rapport with someone you’ve just met is through mirroring of body language and speech patterns. Sit how they are sitting, (or standing) and talk like they are talking. Slow and relaxed if they are slow and relaxed, or fast and abrupt if they are fast and abrupt.

A great way to find powerful evidence of this is to visit any coffee shop or restaurant, and scan the crowd. You’ll easily be able to spot friends and lovers that are in deep rapport simply by noticing how well their body language is matching up.

If you’re worried about putting the cart before the horse, don’t worry. This is a case of form following function as well as function following form. Mirroring body language leads to feelings of rapport, just as feelings of rapport leads to mirroring of body language.

Step Three – Elicit Criteria

Find out what is important to them. What do they want? The biggest secret in sales, seduction, or any other form of persuasion is that the quickest and easiest way to get what you want, is to first help the other person get what they want. This isn’t some new age, rendition of the golden rule; this is simply the best and most effective strategy. When finding out what they want, be interested, and be sincere. The closer you can keep the context of their criteria to your outcome, the better. If you are selling cars, and your outcome is for them to buy our car, you’ll have much better luck in asking them what’s important to them in a car than asking them what’s important to them in a vacation.

The more criteria you can elicit, the easier it will be to persuade them. For one, they’ll usually be in a good mood, as it’s uncommon in today’s me-me-me world for somebody to feel their wants and needs are the focus of any extended conversation. And the more “vague” criteria you can elicit the better. Vague criteria are anything that sounds like it’s not defined that well. Happiness, safety, comfort, value are examples of vague criteria.

Step Four – Leverage Criteria

This is where you simply show them that by doing what you want, they will get what they want. If you’ve done a good job in eliciting their criteria, this part will be pretty easy. If you are selling something, the easiest way to do this is by giving examples of previous customers, and use their criteria in the examples.

If they value “comfort” and “safety” you can tell them about a customer who just last week bought the very same product, and couldn’t wait to call you to thank you, and tell you comfortable and safe they felt when using the product. It’s best to be a little subtle when doing this. When you describe your example in an “oh, by the way,” kind of structure, it doesn’t feel like they are being sold something.

The more stories you can come up with about your product filling the same criteria in other people, the better.

If you are using this for more personal persuasion, that is you are trying to elicit strong emotional feelings in another person for you personally, the leveraging of criteria doesn’t need to be so explicit. You’ll find that simply by slowly and carefully eliciting their criteria (for an ideal relationship partner, for example) that they will start to unconsciously connect those criteria to you, provided you aren’t being too pushy.

One thing about human beings is that we are all a walking collection of unmet wants and needs. When you can develop rapport, elicit a few of those wants and needs, and fulfill them in a way that really satisfies the other person, there is no limit to what you can get them to do.

Just remember to leave them better than you found them, don’t’ get then to do anything they’ll later regret, and you’ll be fine.

Social Manipulation Or Shrewd Marketing?

Beware The Door Buster

I was waiting in line down at this new electronics shop last weekend. They had this massive grand opening, and they were going to give away this really cool flat screen TV along with a home theater system. They said they’d give out free raffle tickets to the first five hundred people that showed up, and then they’d draw later on in the afternoon to see who won. The catch, of course, was you had to be there to claim your prize. And since they gave out the free raffle tickets at eight o clock in the morning, they were assured that five hundred people would not only likely buy something that morning, but make plans to come back later. Marketing plans like this are fairly obvious. Give somebody a gimmick to get them in the door, and then do your best to up sell them while they are there.

Car dealerships are notorious for doing this. They’ll run an add in the paper for a certain make and model for a ridiculously low price. Of course they’ll say in the small print that there is only one particular car at that price, you can tell as they list the VIN, or Vehicle Identification Number of the car in question. Sometimes they’ll have three or four at that price. People see the ad, and mistakenly believe (to the hopes of the dealer) that all of the cars are at that price.
Then when they show up, they’re told they all sold out. When that happens, the dealership has two powerful tools of influence naturally working in their favor.

The first is something called “Commitment and Consistency,” as pointed out in the often referenced “Influence, Science and Practice,” by Robert Cialdini. When people make a public commitment, they are much easier to be persuaded to do something that is along the lines of that commitment. Political campaigners know this. When they phone people the week before an election and ask them if they are going go out and vote, most people naturally say yes. Since they’ve made a public commitment, even to a complete stranger over the phone, they are much more likely to vote than the average citizen who hasn’t made such a commitment.

By going to the car dealership in search of a good deal on a car, you make a certain commitment. It’s not like the car salesman pulled you in cold off the street.

Another powerful factor they have working for them in this case is social proof. As much as we’d like to think otherwise, we humans are pack animals and are extremely susceptible to crowd behavior. We love to follow fashions, stick to the status quo (unless you are a singing basketball player), and follow the crowd. So when you show up, and the car you wanted is “all sold out (all one of them),” it gives the impression that many people are after the same car, which makes it more desirable.

So by putting those cheesy ads in the paper, and getting you to make a trip to the dealership, just by showing up you have two powerful forces of social influence guiding you to buy a new car.

It’s no wonder that stores use the same tactics. They work, and they work beautifully. Stores use them so much because they work so well. All those incredibly insane “door busters” that you see the day after Thanksgiving, or black Friday, are carefully designed instruments of social manipulation. In case you are unaware, the reason it’s called “Black Friday” is in reference to the black ink bookkeepers use when they are making a profit. In this case black is very good.

To make matters worse, sometime they’ll have free giveaways, but the “winner” is actually a ringer. A plant that works for the store. Even though this is clearly immoral and unethical, it’s pretty hard to uncover and prosecute. The only danger lies in a store being found out, and it’s business getting a bad reputation. Even when people have a suspicion that the winner may indeed be a “ringer,” they still line up, “just in case.” We humans can be terribly easy to manipulate sometimes.

If you can figure out a way to get the free stuff, without giving in to the temptation to buy whatever they convincing you to buy through their masterful social engineering, so much the better.

One thing I usually do in a case like the free TV giveaway is only take five dollars with me, and leave all my credit cards at home. That way even I’m persuaded by the slickest of salesman, I won’t be able to buy anything. Hopefully by the time I race home to get my credit card, I’ll stop and wonder if I really do need that beef jerky machine. It’s not like I eat beef jerky every day, or even once a week. Why in the world do I need to cook the stuff?

So as I was standing there in line, looking at all the awesome electronic gadgets that I would surely buy if I were rich enough, I started talking to the guy behind me. He was involved in several MLMs and told me places like this were a great opportunity spread his business. People were surrounded by all this stuff that they wished they had enough money to buy, so naturally they would be open to opportunities to make more money, at least in principle. This guy said that he had great success recruiting people for his “downline,” at these “free” offerings. He scans the paper every week, and goes to as many as these as possible. He said the best time is right before the actual drawing, when people’s interests are the highest.

He said he was kind of “piggybacking” on the social manipulation of the business. He would show up in the morning, talk to a few people in line, and not mention anything about his business. Then he would come back that afternoon, strike up a conversation again with the people he already met, like he was an old friend. Then while the excitement and expectation was high, he would slowly ease the conversation into his well-crafted sales pitch.

He said that if he only gets one person per “giveaway,” then it is well worth his while, because in the long run, each person that joins his “downline” is worth potentially thousands of dollars, if not more.

And, of course, I didn’t win the TV, and I bought this cool little vacuum cleaner for my keyboard, that plugs into my USB port. And a new computer mouse, because my old one, was, kind of, you know, needed replacing. Or something.

Leverage Criteria For Ultimate Power

One of the most powerful ways to easily persuade somebody to your way of thinking is elicit and leverage criteria. Everyone you will ever meet is a walking talking collection of unmet wants and needs. And for most people, most of these unmet wants and needs are sufficiently vague so that you can easily leverage them to your benefit.

Be careful though, you can easily misuse this power to trick them into doing something or buying a product that is against their interests. If you do this, then woe be unto you.

So how do you elicit criteria? Simple. Once you establish rapport, and generate a sufficient level of comfort, just ask them what’s important about something. Be sure to ask respectfully, and with genuine interest. Most people are a little bit shy about talking about their deep desires and criteria, and will quickly close themselves off to you if they smell any amount of incongruity.

For example, let’s say you are on a first date with a girl. Or maybe not even a first date. Maybe you are just talking to her at a party or a bar. You look around, comment on all the single people. Say something about how hard it is to find the right person for a relationship. If she agrees, then that’s good. It’s usually good to go first, and reveal a little bit about yourself first.

So you mention something about your relationship (make sure not to say anything bad about anybody) mention some of the good things, and mention something more that you were looking for. For example, you could say that your last boyfriend or girlfriend was a good friend, and a good conversationalist, but they really didn’t like to travel. They were a great guy/gal, but they weren’t as adventurous. So you needed to move on. Being adventurous is important to you.

Then you ask the person you are talking to about what is important to them in a relationship. It’s key to make sure to agree that whatever they say is important.

Then ask what is important about that? For example, if they said they want to meet somebody with a good sense of humor, casually ask what they find important about that. They may say that they want somebody that can laugh at themselves. Somebody that doesn’t take themselves too seriously.

One of the great things about this is that just by talking to somebody about what is important to them, they will subconsciously start to think of you in those terms, provided you have enough rapport. If you do this several different times, they will really start to develop deep feelings for you.

Another example.

Let’s say you are selling long distance plans. You get somebody on the line, get them talking, and ask them what long distance they are currently using. Instead of jumping right into switching them, like most people do, ask them what they like about their current plan. Ask them what is important about those things that they like. Be sure to agree with whatever they say.

Lets say they mention they like that it is part of their current bill. And you ask them what is important about that (make sure not to sound like you are going to convince them that it shouldn’t be important, agree with whatever they say). They will say something like they don’t have to worry about two separate bills. It’s easier that way. They don’t have to worry.

Then simply convince them that with your new plan, it is totally simple, and they won’t have to worry. Just let them know that it will fulfill their existing criteria, and will save them money.

This can take some time to get down, so that you can use it conversationally, but when you do you will realize how powerful this is. You will notice a significant increase in your sales and your ability to conversationally persuade and influence others.

Covert Hypnosis And Persuasion

Can you really use it to quickly and easily get what you want?

There has been a lot of interest in recent years about something called “covert hypnosis.” It sounds like something very sinister and perhaps evil. If you’ve ever seen some of those videos on youtube, or have ever had the pleasure of watching a good stage hypnotist, you know what I’m talking about.

There are a few videos where some powerful hypnotist will talk up to somebody, say some strange words to them, and then leave them standing there with their hands up in the air for a few minutes before they realize what’s going on.

Then there’s that one where the guy walks up to strangers on the street and gets them to give him their jewelry, watch and wallet without even knowing about it.

And some stage hypnotists are really skilled at getting people to forget their names, forget letters of the alphabet or even numbers. I saw one particularly entertaining show where one volunteer thought he heard a voice coming from his watch every time he heard his name.

The guys who do this on stage have an advantage. They are doing something that is called direct, or authoritative hypnosis. The person knows they are being hypnotized. And what makes it actually pretty easy for the stage hypnotist is that he or she asks a room full of hundreds of people who wants to come up and be hypnotized. So whoever volunteers, you can be sure that they:

  • Have no problem acting like a fool in front of complete strangers
  • Are open to the idea of being hypnotized
  • Are at the very least aware of hypnosis, and have an interest in it

So in reality, hypnotizing somebody on stage is likely the easiest way you’ll ever hypnotize somebody. Even if you completely suck as a hypnotist, the people that volunteer will often times pretend they are hypnotized, even if they don’t feel anything. There are a lot of other factors involved in this. Volunteering to be hypnotized, going up on stage, and then admitting that you can’t be hypnotized can be embarrassing. So many people play along, just for fun.

The guys on the street are practicing a powerful form of covert hypnosis. That is they are hypnotizing the people without their direct knowledge. You’d think that the person would think something was up when they saw the camera, but in many cases, the camera is hidden. So they are doing it completely through conversation and massive skill.

However, it is not as powerful as you think. The actual interaction that you are watching is real, on the street hypnosis. The thing they don’t tell you is that in order to get that one fantastic interaction, the hypnotist likely had to approach, start a conversation, and try their “trick” on perhaps a hundred people until they found somebody that worked. And they only show you the good ones, and not the people that looked at him like he was nuts.

So what does that mean? That all these shows are fake? No. What it does mean is that only a small percentage of the population can be hypnotized quickly and deeply like those people on the street. And only a small handful of people would ever volunteer to go up on stage and be hypnotized.

So where does that lead the rest of us, who want to hypnotize each and every client to buy our products, or go on dates with us, or vote for us? We need to use a much more subtler form of covert hypnosis. One that gradually sneaks in through the person’s conscious awareness, and carefully suggests a course of action over time.

Stage hypnotists and street hypnotists are in it for entertainment. They need a quick reaction to sustain the audience’s interest. Otherwise they will flop.

But in real life, covert hypnosis can be just as powerful, but you need to go a bit slower. You still need to develop a relationship with somebody, but with covert hypnosis, you can develop that relationship through a few minutes rather than a few days.

Once this relationship is established, you can slowly elicit their criteria in a conversational way. Once you have their criteria, you can carefully attach your outcome to their getting their needs met by their criteria.

It may not be as quick as pretending to steal some guy’s watch on the street, or convincing some guy he’s a chicken, but it can be just as powerful. Over the course of an hour, it is completely possible, (and rather easy) to establish a deep rapport with someone, get their most important desires and needs, and then creatively attach your outcome to their getting their needs met. They will leave happy, you will leave happy, and nobody will be clucking like a chicken or forgetting the number four.

NLP Techniques For Covert Persuasion – Is It Ethical?

Today I’d like to talk about the idea of using NLP techniques for covert persuasion skills. To begin, lets address two important concerns. Persuasion, and covert persuasion.

Most people are a little bit put off when they hear the word “persuasion.” Many people immediately call to mind a push car salesman, or that guy that followed you around in that shop and wouldn’t leave you alone. Or maybe you had some sales representative who came into your home in what you thought was an initial consultation, but they literally wouldn’t leave without an order.

I don’t know if you’ve ever worked in sales, but it can be a tough business. Many salespeople work on pure commission. That means if they don’t make a sale, they don’t get paid. And after a week or two of no sales, they can get pretty desperate. Sometimes they can be pushy, rude, and obnoxious.

This is not the persuasion I’m talking about here. The kind of persuasion I’m talking about is helping the client get his or her needs met in the most efficient and mutually beneficial way. There is kind of a fuzzy line here. It is entirely possible for a skilled and ethical sales person to actually create the need and desire, and then fill it with their product.

That is how marketing works in general. When Bill Gates designed the windows operating system he pretty much convinced the world it was something they needed. There used to be only two flavors of spaghetti sauce you could buy at the supermarket. Now there are plenty. There was nothing stopping people from buying a jar of plain sauce, and then adding ingredients to it at home. But nevertheless, they created all kinds of new flavors, convinced the public that they wanted them, and now they sell very well. Many people’s favorite spaghetti sauce is a flavor that didn’t exit before.

So persuasion isn’t bad, so long as the person you are persuading is going to benefit from doing what you persuade them to do. Persuading somebody to do something may very well even create a net increase of happiness and pleasure in their life.

So what about covert persuasion? When we think of covert, we usually think of some CIA spy sneaking around, or a band of Ninja’s surrounding the house of a Daimyo in order to assassinate him. But covert means without conscious knowledge.

There are many cookbooks that show how to slip healthy food in to seemingly unhealthy snack foods for kids. For example, slipping some carrots into a grilled cheese, or putting some vitamins into a milkshake. This is covert. Done without the knowledge or express consent of the consumer. Is it bad?

Most people have an aversion of salespeople. And when a salesperson starts talking, people usually clam up. Which means they likely won’t get to experience the increased happiness and benefits of owning a new product or service. And when people put up resistance, they usually don’t think very clearly. Most of their thought processes is in protection mode, which greatly reduces their chances of seeing opportunities.

Covert persuasion can be seen as presenting opportunities in such a way to make it easy to see all of the benefits, so they can better make a decision.

Ideally, clients would walk into your shop; give you a list of all their criteria, down the finest detail. You could then input them into your inventory computer, and out would pop the best product for them.

However, people are not robots. Our wants, needs, and desires can be very vague and slippery. Sure we want to buy a new car, but which one? What is important about it? What do we want to feel when we drive our new car? Safe? Envied? Powerful?

A skilled salesperson can make a client feel safe enough to share their desires, and allow the salesperson to match their product with the desires of the customer. And that is the heart of persuasion. To show others that what you have to offer, is a match for what they want.

Doing it covertly simply means that you are not treating people like robots, and you don’t expect them to spit out a sheet of all their exact criteria. You are allowing them to be fully human, and respecting the vagueness of their desires.

And the better you are at showing them that your product or service best meets their needs, the more they will enjoy it and benefit from it. And that is a fantastic win win situation. They get their needs met, and a product they will enjoy and use, and you get to make sale and a commission.

So if you are on a journey of learning NLP for persuasion, and covert persuasion, don’t be put off by negative stereotypes of sales and persuasion. Sure there are some bad apples out there who abuse these, but when used correctly it is much better for everyone involved.

How To Use Neurolinguistic Programming To Maximize Your Sales Skills

If you’ve ever heard of neurolinguistic programming, then you know that it is an incredibly powerful tool to be used in almost any area of life, from almost any perspective.

Many people are aware of neurolinguistic programming, or NLP, as a tool for persuasion in both sales and seduction. Many sales techniques employ NLP to increase sales and income for astute salespeople, and others use it to improve their dating skills.

One of the often passed over areas of NLP is the method through which it was discovered itself. The word ‘discovered’ isn’t quite the right term, nor is invented, or created or any other terms that are used to describe a new technology.

The reason this is so is that NLP is not new technology at all. It is a collection of many techniques that were modeled and codified from people that were “natural’s” in there respective fields.

Many times people will look at somebody that is naturally persuasive, or naturally charismatic and say “Oh, look! He’s using NLP! I wonder where he studied?” usually the person in question is not using NLP at all, at least not to their knowledge. They really are a “natural.”

A natural is anybody that is skilled in on area. Salespeople, public speakers, and guys that are wildly successful with seducing women. Most of these people have no idea that they are using “NLP.” They just do what comes “natural” to them, and it gets them massive success in their field.

History is filled with people that use skills that are “taught” in NLP, even though they existed thousands of years ago. One good example is the letters of St. Paul. In case you’ve never heard of St. Paul, he a was this guy who used to be named Saul, then he had a vision of Jesus one day. At the time, Saul was against the rising cult of Christianity, and persecuted them every chance he got. When he saw Christ in a vision, he quickly changed his tune, and became a champion of Christianity.

He traveled to all of the Christian communities made it his life mission to spread Christianity. If any of his letters are an indication, he was a powerfully persuasive speaker. And his oration, if it was anything like his writing style, contained many elements taught in NLP.

Where the idea of NLP came into play was through the area of “modeling,” one of NLP’s most overlooked but perhaps most powerful application. Everybody wants to know the right patterns, the correct vocal inflections, how exactly to read people.

Having decent modeling skills is much more powerful. With modeling skills you have the ability to learn anything, from anybody, and apply in your own area of choice. You don’t even have to model all the characteristics of the person you are modeling, only the one’s you’d like to use for yourself.

The secret to modeling is to model everything about the person you are modeling What are they doing, how are they doing it, what do they believe about their own skills, how do they prepare themselves mentally for what they are doing.

For example, if you were to model Tiger Woods, you’d need to first model your body after his as closely as possible. Muscle strength, muscle flexibility, body fat percentage, etc. Then you’d have to model his technique as closely as possible. Exactly how far back he swings, his weight distribution on his feet as he hits the ball, the exact force with which he smashes the ball a million yards down the center of the fairway.

But you couldn’t stop there. You would next need to model his mindset, his beliefs, and his self-talk. What does he say to himself about his skills? What exactly does he visualize before he shoots? Does he get any physical sensations in his body while he is visualizing? If so where?

Most people (myself included) only get as far as holding a club and swinging it clumsily at a ball before declaring that they suck at golf.

One mistake many make when modeling is by asking somebody questions that they can’t answer. For example, lets say you want to model a fantastic salesperson at your company. So you ask them, “why are you such a good salesperson?”

If you’re lucky, they became a good salesperson because they studied sales technique after sales technique, tried them in different scenarios, kept the ones that worked, and improved on them while discarding the one’s that didn’t. They can then share with you the precise methods they studied, how they practiced, what exercises and drills they did to get to where they are.

Unfortunately, most people that are good in sales are just naturally good in sales. And they likely have no idea why they are good in sales. So you’ll get an answer like “Well, when I was a kid I always like mowing other people’s lawns and got really interested in figuring out how to make money, I guess.”

Not very helpful.

Better, more in depth questions would be:

How do you feel when you sell?
What do you say to yourself when you sell?
How do you feel when you don’t get a sale?
What do you say to yourself when you don’t get a sale?
What kinds of things do you visualize just before you meet a prospect?
What happens when a prospect has objections? What do you think, feel, and say to yourself?
How do you feel about our prospects as you are talking to them?
How do you feel about the product you are selling?

These are just a few of the questions that will help you to model somebody and be able to improve your skills.

All humans are natural modelers. Everything we learned, we learned from modeling. We learned to walk and talk by watching and copying others. We learned our ideas, beliefs and models of the world by looking at the adults as we grew up and simply copied them.

It would be fantastic if the top salesperson at your company would let you follow him around for a few months until you were selling as good as he was, but that isn’t likely.

As adults, we need to model consciously as well as unconsciously. One way is through a relaxed visualization. Take the top salesperson as an example. Say he or she let you tag along with them on a few sales. You just sat back and watched them in action.

Then later, you can relax, close your eyes, and visualize them making a sale. Then slowly replace yourself for them in your visualization. Do this a few times, and let your unconscious learn from them how to sell. This is a particularly powerful method, and when combined with asking them the right questions, you can dramatically improve your skills. When you add in learning proven methods from other materials, you can safely assure yourself of massive success.

Lemon Extract And Words of War

There is a powerful set of language patterns that are almost unknown, even to the most persuasive salespeople out there. When you harness the ability to use these patterns conversationally, you will skyrocket your persuasion abilities to levels almost unheard of.

Used incorrectly, these patterns can be horribly manipulative, and can almost force people do knowingly do things against their will, as if they feel they have no choice but to comply. When used incorrectly, you can literally people to imagine that not doing what you want will be more painful, emotionally, that doing what you want, despite how much emotional discomfort it either choice may bring.

Like any tool, the ethics depends on your intentions. With an intention to serve somebody’s needs or help them to achieve more happiness and pleasure, these simple tools can be a powerful delivery method to introduce new ideas that people would otherwise be resistant to.

So what are these powerful tools? They are called linguistic presuppositions. They are a way to phrase a sentence, or a series of sentences to deliver truths to people (or ideas you would like accepted as truth) without any conscious resistance whatsoever.

You likely use these without even knowing it. Unfortunately, when people use these naturally, they come across as manipulative and hurtful, because they are used defensively, and not with much integrity. Quite often we use them to make ourselves feel good, by intentionally putting others at a disadvantage.

What they are is a specific sentence structure that literally forces the listener, or reader to assume certain things being true in order to make sense of the sentence.

For example, if I say, “Yesterday I saw a red car.” You have to assume that cars exist, and that they can be read. The main point of my sentence is to convey the idea of me seeing one yesterday. Simple enough.

But if I say “yesterday, I saw a roklov,” you would likely assume I was telling the truth, and focus on the idea that I did indeed see something called a “roklov,” you wouldn’t likely question the existence of something called a ‘roklov.’ So far so good.

But what if I immediately followed up that sentence by saying “and the interesting thing about roklovs is that they are becoming really popular, and people are starting to discover how quickly they can help you make money.”

Now, take a look at all the implied “truths” in that one-punch:

· Something called a “roklov” exists.
· I saw one yesterday.
· They are becoming really popular.
· Many people are getting them.
· People use them to make money.
· People use them to make money quickly.

In just two sentences, I’ve not only introduced some made up word, but I may have persuaded you to at least become curious about what one is, and how you might be able to use one to make money, just like many other people have been doing.

Now that is a completely made up word. What if I introduce something that you already agree exists?

“Yesterday I saw a jar of lemon extract at the supermarket. I was surprised they still had them, because more and more people are starting to discover that lemon extract is the likely the easiest and quickest way to lose weight.”

So what are the assumptions in these two sentences?

· There is something called lemon extract. (Which you have to agree with if you are from planet Earth).
· I saw some at the supermarket (see above)
· It is a scarce item
· That it is scarce is a new phenomenon
· It has secret weight losing properties
· It is very popular for losing weight

Now, what is your reaction when you read that? You’d likely have a strong desire to at least have a look at the lemon extract next time you went to the supermarket. Or you may Google “lemon extract weight loss”

Now truthfully, I just pulled that example out of the air. But just now I checked, and there are not only sixty thousand results for that search, but there are plenty of advertisers selling information on that. Now how does that make you feel? Maybe even more about getting some lemon extract? (Honestly, this is just a made up example.)

So what is the structure of presuppositions? In the famous groundbreaking book “The Structure Of Magic,” by Bandler and Grinder, they identified twenty-eight specific linguistic structures that be used to covertly delivery information, either helpful or unhelpful.

Let’s look at the structure of the above. We’ll use “truth1” as the thing we want to persuade others.

More and more people are starting to discover that “truth1.”
People are starting to discover that “truth1.”

This is powerful because it implies social proof, or that many people have already discovered what you are trying to persuade your listener, or reader.

You can also use an authority figure instead of social proof:

“Leading scientists have learned that “truth1.”

Now, this sounds like you have solid evidence, but you really don’t. What leading scientists? How did they learn? Did they learn correctly? Who do they lead? How exactly do they know? Has their learnings come through rigorous scientific testing, or were they persuaded in a debate?

Are they professional scientists, or amateur hobbyists?

You could have two or three weekend hacks that are the captains of their respective bowling leads, and could truthfully refer to them as “leading scientists.”

Here’s a real world example of this exact structure was used recently to lead a nation into a war. A war that is still going on:

President George Bush: (State of the Union, 2003)

“The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa.”

Take note of the structure:

“Authority” has learned that “truth1.”

I’ll leave it up to you to decide if that was an honest mistake, or a deliberate manipulation of the facts.

This is just one of the twenty-eight linguistic presuppositions that are being used every day by politicians, manipulators, and sales people.

Of course, you don’t have to use this for evil purposes.

Many leading sociologists are starting to realize that simply by reading posts like this on the Internet, you are vastly improving your resourcefulness. And most scientists agree that by tapping into your resources, you naturally skyrocket your potential to achieve almost anything you want in life. Most successful entrepreneurs will tell you that simply by acknowledging your own personal power, you open the doors to almost certain achievement and success in your life.

Now get on with it.