Tag Archives: NLP

Keep Going Baby

Fine Tuned Mental Calibration

Everybody knows about goals.

It’s one of those things that we all know we should have.

But few people take the time to create them.

There’s plenty of studies that show those with goals tend to do better than those without.

A famous study of Harvard graduates detailed this.

They tracked a graduating class for a few decades.

The people who had written goals did much better than those who didn’t.

On one level, it makes perfect sense.

To be successful without goals means you have to get lucky.

Meaning you just kind of stumble forward, not really knowing what you are doing.

Funny thing is, that many people who are successful did just this.

They just kept moving forward.

They had a vague idea of what they were doing.

Maybe a certain kind of business idea.

Or musical or athletic talent.

They just followed their instincts, and they were driven forward by their rewards.

When athletes win a game, it feels good.

This good feeling motivates them to get better, so they can get more of that good feeling.

Similarly, those who enjoy massive business success followed the same strategy.

They create an invention, and make a little bit of money.

Making that money gives them a good feeling, which motivates.

They keep doing whatever they did, so they can keep inventing stuff and making money.

In reality, it’s impossible to NOT have goals.

It’s just that very few people take the process and move it up to the conscious level.

Most business, scientific, and artistic success stories all follow the same strategy.

They have a certain set of skills.

They express their skills and in return get a positive emotional feeling.

They realize (consciously or unconsciously) that improving their skills will get them more of that positive emotional feeling.

For them, the money they get is important, but only as a byproduct.

For them, the money is EVIDENCE that what they are doing is valuable to people.

It’s one thing to come up with a goofy invention in your garage.

It’s something else completely to get people eagerly handing over their money so you will build one for them.

In this situation, the money is EVIDENCE that your skills are valuable to the world.

That the world appreciates your time and effort and thinking.

This is exactly why we have so much stuff now, when only a few hundred years ago there was only the very basics.

To maximize your participation, it’s a matter of calibrating your mind.

Of finding that proper alignment between your skills, the needs of the world, and the stream of income that connects the two.

Learn More:

Wealth Tuning

Far Away Dreams

Have You Been To Charm School?

No matter who you are, you have to learn skills as you go through life.

That’s one of the many differences between humans and all the other life forms on this planet.

Humans come with tons of instincts.

But we also come with tons of learning capability.

Even way back in the day when we were hunter-gathers, we had to continuously learn.

Since we were nomads, nothing was ever the same.

Different environment, different source of food, different climate, different things to be worried about.

Now, with our massively complex society, continuous learning and updating your skills is pretty much a given.

Like the Red Queen in “Alice in Wonderland,” you have to keep running just to stay in place.

When it comes to learning, there are two kinds of skills.

Skills that start off in the “unconscious incompetence” area, or the skills that start off in the “unconscious competence” area.

Most people only ever consider the first collection of skills.

The ones we don’t know we suck at, or unconscious incompetence.

Some new technology is invented, so we need to learn it.

Before it was invented, nobody knew anything about it, so we didn’t know that we didn’t know.

Then we know that we don’t know (conscious incompetence), and then we know that we sort of know (conscious competence).

A few people take it to the level of unconscious competence.

Meaning they are skilled, and do so without thinking.

For most of us, this comes in doing simple things like riding bikes or tying our shoes.

But there is a whole other realm of learning.

Of taking something we are born knowing how to do.

These are the things that start off as unconscious competence.

Walking, talking, interacting with people.

These are the things we tend to think we’re either “good” at or “not good” at.

And if we see somebody who is “good” at one of these skills, we shrug our shoulders as if there’s nothing we can do.

This, however, is false.

You can take any instinctive skill (unconscious competence) and raise it to the conscious competence level.

Back in the old days, girls would do this.

They would go to “charm school” to learn how to take their unconscious behavior (walking, talking etc.) and refine it.

Of course, in today’s society we’re told to just “be yourself.”

Which is perfectly fine.

If you are happy with what you are getting as your “authentic self,” that’s fantastic.

But your “authentic self” can be refined any way you like.

A particularly effective way is how you use your language.

Most people have half baked thoughts they try to describe with haphazardly chosen words.

But you can learn to use your language with extreme precision.

And deadly force.

Learn How:

Weaponized Hypnosis

One For The Road

Be The Man With No Name

We all love super hero movies.

Even if they aren’t in costumes or call themselves “heroes” we love the idea of good guys and bad guys.

A decade or so ago, Clint Eastwood was receiving some kind of lifetime achievement award.

So they had a lot of celebrities giving speeches and making jokes.

I remember Jim Carrey’s speech.

He said when he was a kid, he loved the “spaghetti westerns.”

Mostly about a bad ass cowboy with no name.

The reason, Carrey explained, that we love the common “hero with no name” archetype is because it makes it easier for us to imagine that WE are the hero.

Some hero’s need to go through intense character arcs, others not so much.

But the idea of “good” and “evil” is very ancient.

Lots of philosophies and religions try to describe it, explain it, but so far, none have done so with much success.

That evil exists is about all they can agree on.

And like plenty of the characters in those movies, there are many ways to deal with evil.

The reason we LOVE seeing the hero destroy the bad guy is that we would love to, but most of us just run in the other direction.

When normal people DO step in and stop bad things from happening, EVERYBODY is quick to call them a hero.

Everybody loves the guy or girl who can stick up for those who can’t defend themselves.

Does this mean you need to practice in your dojo for an hour a day and carry a Glock 19 everywhere?

That’s certainly an option, but it’s not the only option.

And it would only work in certain situations.

Where you need to defend yourself physically.

Unfortunately, plenty of “evil” attacks don’t come in physical from.

They come very subtly.

Hidden between the surface structure words.

When they are directed at you, it hurts, but you don’t know why.

It’s like they are punching in the face with an invisible hand.

You can, however, practice in the dojo of your mind.

And develop extremely wicked linguistic self defense skills.

You can avoid the punches.

You can block the punches.

Or you can punch back.

With as much mental devastation as you like.

Learn More:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Dangerous Dudes Are Everywhere

Covert Sumo Defense Tactics

It’s very common for humans to look for shortcuts.

We are hard wired to look for anything that will maximize our return, and minimize our efforts.

Paradoxically, this is the driving force that has been behind our path as humans from the days of ancient hunter-gathers to modern life.

All the inventions, creations and ideas were based on one simple concept.

“There’s GOT to be an easier way of doing this!”

Businesses and customers are forever locked in the same battle.

Business want to minimize costs and maximize profits.

Customers want to minimize purchase price and maximize what we get for that purchase.

When businesses compete for our money, it’s a wonderful thing.

Fast food wars, for example, force all businesses to come up with the cheapest menu items.

If you’re the kind of person who likes to stumble through your local fast food joint on the way home from your local bar, this is a wonderful thing.

Get a sack of burgers for a few bucks.

Other kind of competition is not so nice.

Especially when not everybody knows there’s a competition.

Sure, when you’ve got a street lined with shops, everybody knows what’s up.

Cheapest price, best product, best customer service, cutest waitresses, etc.

It’s all part of the game.

But when you go into a meeting, and you’re thinking it’s just to share ideas, but your coworker has decides he or she is competing, and he or she is competing against you, that’s when it gets dirty.

From the boss’ point of view they might even like the competition.

It saves them from having to make a decision.

Even within social groups, friendships and romantic relationships, there can be some “beneath the surface” competition going on.

It’s almost like covert Sumo wrestling.

Two huge guys rush each other and try to push the other guy off balance.

When both guys know what’s, it’s called sport.

But when one person is doing this conversationally and covertly, it can feel pretty crappy.

There you are trying to have a regular conversation, and they’re slipping in deadly blows that push you off balance and make you feel weak.

Many people unfortunately don’t feel strong unless they make others feel weak.

If it’s a schoolyard bully, you can punch him in the face, or kick him in the nuts.

But if it’s emotional, and covert?

How the heck do you defend against it?

With this:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Know What You Want?

The Carne Asada Nachos Pattern

I love eating.

But since I ain’t no spring chicken, I can’t eat as much as I used to.

When I was in high school, I could eat anything and everything.

I ran cross country and I wrestled, so not only did I have the magical metabolism of youth, but I exercised quite a bit.

But today, I need to be careful about what I eat.

Usually.

Because you HAVE to have cheating days.

And I like to plan my cheating days.

Think about what to buy, what to cook, what to watch on TV when I enjoy my cheating days.

Planning pleasurable activities is something we humans love.

They say that the only two tragedies of life are achieving your goals, and not achieving your goals.

What the heck does this mean?

If neither one of those is true, (not achieving a goal or achieving it) it implies you are ON THE WAY to some goal.

And that is a pretty good place to be.

When you look forward to something.

Even if it’s something silly like a heaping plate of Carne Asada Nachos and your favorite episode of The Sopranos.

The idea of something GOOD in your future is wonderful.

Since we humans can NEVER predict the future, when we have something good coming, it’s mixed with uncertainty.

But it’s the BEST kind of uncertainty.

When you’re uncertain exactly HOW you’ll enjoy something.

Or exactly HOW that enjoyable thing will evolve.

Or exactly WHEN that enjoyable thing will happen.

This is why pretty much everybody agrees that the Road (the way to the enjoyable thing) is better than the Inn (the actual pleasurable thing).

This is what has inspired humankind since we climbed down out of the trees and realized there was more to life than bananas.

What’s even better is you can give somebody else the gift of looking forward to something fantastic.

By making YOURSELF that fantastic thing.

How you interact with them when you’re around, and how you give them the gift of missing you when you’re not.

By understanding the process, you can create the most wonderful feeling we humans can ever feel.

At will.

Learn How:

Love Hypnosis

Merging Brains

Whose Thoughts Do You Think?

Our brains are like sponges when we are born.

The reason is that humans need a lot of time outside the womb before we are fully developed.

So when we are born, we are only “half baked.”

Most people know this, at least intuitively.

Few people remember much from early childhood.

And the idea that whatever we are taught in early childhood is believed pretty strongly throughout our lives.

Few people change religions or political parties as they age.

However, when it comes time to learn as adults, we believe that it’s harder as an adult than as a kid.

We have this idea that kids can soak up stuff pretty quickly, but adults have a harder time.

This is a very dangerous thought, for a couple of reasons.

The common recognition of the danger of this thought is that if you think it’s hard to learn as an adult, you won’t make the effort.

And that you have this massive learning capacity that you aren’t utilizing.

This is absolutely true, but there is another facet of this erroneous belief that is FAR MORE dangerous.

We assume that as children, we “soak up” ideas easily and effortlessly.

And as adults, we lose that ability.

But what if we really don’t?

What if we STILL soak up ideas and beliefs just as easily and unconsciously?

This is a scary thought.

Because we are bombarded all day by ideas and messages.

Many of which are VERY DANGEROUS.

For example, a lot of the ads that blast our brains come at night when we’re watching TV.

When we are LEAST RESISTANT.

Who pays for seventy percent of TV ads?

Drug companies.

Do you want THEM putting ideas in your head?

Consider that your brain is just as open as it is today, as it was when you were a kid.

Think of all the ideas and messages and random things people are saying all around you.

When you are alone, and you’re having a random stream of thoughts, WHOSE thoughts are those?

Even if they are yours, it’s hard to get around the idea that they are HEAVILY influenced by messages.

Many of which (TV ads and political slogans) that were carefully crafted to GET PAST your conscious resistance.

How do you avoid thinking thoughts others have put in your mind?

The only way to get rid of ONE thought is to REPLACE it with another.

And the best way to hold that new thought is make sure it is pointing somewhere specific.

Something YOU would like in YOUR life based on YOUR decisions.

Focus on THAT target, and make sure to keep moving toward it.

Take data, and ensure you are getting closer.

This will give you objective evidence that those thoughts are yours.

AND it will give you an easy way to RESIST those other ideas.

Just as the simple question.

Do they help you get closer to your goal, or not?

So long as your goal is yours, your life and your thoughts will be yours as well.

Get Started:

Seven Disciplines

Magic Woman Trick

The Secret Rules of Life

Imagine playing a game of basketball without knowing the rules.

You had to play before you knew how.

And the only way to learn was to learn by playing.

If you had two teams under these conditions, it might actually be pretty interesting.

Assuming you had refs and scorekeepers who DID know the rules.

Part of your strategy would be to figure out the rules BEFORE the other team did, but to keep them secret as long as possible.

After all, if your team knew the rules and the other team didn’t, you’d have a HUGE advantage.

Now imagine ONLY your team didn’t know the rules.

The other players, the other coaches, all the fans, the scorekeepers, and the refs knew the rules.

But you and your team had your memory wiped or something.

It would be horrible!

For many of us, this is EXACTLY what it feels like during our normal lives.

It’s like everybody else knows the rules, knows all the secrets, but they forgot to tell us.

We’re shuffling along, trying our best, and everybody’s just whizzing by having the time of their lives.

Sometimes it even seems like they purposely tilted the rules in their favor.

And to a certain degree, they have.

Despite our system of “laws,” the golden rule will always apply to some degree.

The golden rule being, “He who has the gold makes the rules.”

But if you can understand how the game is played, it’s not so bad.

Especially if you not only get how the game is played, but how people think.

This would be like knowing the playbook of the other team, AND knowing which plays they were about to play.

Of course, how you USE this information is up to you.

But you better believe that plenty of people who DO know these inside ideas are using them to benefit themselves, at the EXPENSE of others.

You can think of knowing these as a kind of insurance policy.

Just in case.

Learn More:

Cult Leader

Wow Woman Want You

How To Ditch Scarcity For Good

What’s your biggest issue with women?

Most people come up with something right away.

Not enough quality women.

I don’t know what to say.

I don’t have the right clothing.

I’m too….(whatever).

But in reality, that’s not the real issue.

This is common among ALL human “issues.”

Therapists have known for centuries that when people show up, the first thing they say as the “problem” is never the problem.

When married couples fight about the toilet seat, it’s never really about the toilet seat.

So, back to women.

What’s the ONE THING that would make EVERYTHING easier?

Fear.

Meaning have ZERO FEAR.

Just imagine this for a moment, for the sake of argument.

Imagine being able to walk up to any girl, anywhere, any time, and talk to her like you’ve known her for years.

Any feelings of “scarcity” would disappear.

Most guys, when they get ANY kind of positive response from a woman, they hang on for dear life.

Because it’s so rare.

But if you literally have ZERO FEAR?

You can talk to any girl any time without worry.

If she shows even a HINT of trouble, eject and find somebody better.

The cool thing is she’ll SENSE this.

Just like girls can sense it when you’re hanging on for dear life.

But when you have ZERO fear?

You’ll never worry again.

Just the act of going outside to meet girls is EASIER than trying to figure out what the heck she mean by that text.

Very few men are like this.

Most men operate from a scarcity mindset.

And women know this.

Which is exactly why they act the way they do.

They can get away with it.

But, since a ZERO FEAR man with ZERO scarcity is so rare to them, they will always be on their best behavior.

Learn How:

Zero Fear Game

Mountain Climbing

How To Easily Redefine Yourself

There are a lot of “truisms” that pretty much everybody knows.

But at the same time, these same “truisms” are rarely experienced by anybody.

We hear them all the time, and we see people say them with conviction.

This gives us kind of a “fake” knowing that they are true.

For example, few people would argue that there’s no air on the moon.

We’ve seen pictures of guys in spacesuits, and we can sort of imagine that without any “atmosphere” there’d be no air to breathe.

But suddenly finding ourselves on the moon and gasping for breath would be a completely different experience.

Right now, when somebody says, “there’s no air on the moon,” we nod and agree.

But if we had the EXPERIENCE of not being able to breathe on the moon, we would respond COMPLETELY differently to the same statement.

This is the difference between “hearing” those truisms over and over and thinking that we “believe” them and actually experiencing them.

One of these famous “truisms” is that “most of our fears or false.”

Or somebody famous once saying, “My biggest fears in life have never happened.”

While we would all AGREE that our biggest fears are “false” very few of us have any experiencing PROVING this “fact.”

But anybody that has been in any kind of “group therapy” or to any type of “AA” meeting KNOWS this.

Part of the process is admitting some of the horrible things you’ve done.

Things you’ve kept bottled up forever.

Things you think will make people want to banish you from society.

But then you say them, and everybody looks at you passively.

Finally the leader says, “Thanks for sharing. Anybody else?”

Just like that, your biggest fear, gone.

POOF!

Nothing.

Maybe a couple nods from a couple people, but that’s about it.

This is what happens when we tell the world who we really are.

We are TERRIFIED they will reject us.

TERRIFIED they will banish us.

But no matter HOW we “define ourselves” the response will be the same.

“Oh, OK. Cool.”

Sure, we might have to repeat ourselves a couple times to certain individuals, but that’s about it.

So, how would YOU like to DEFINE yourself?

Or RE-DEFINE yourself?

Because here’s another “truism” that is super easy to “prove”:

The world will treat YOU just like YOU treat YOU.

And YOU can treat yourself however you want.

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

This Is Not My Beautiful House

They’ll Want You More

When I was a kid we had this dirty trick we’d play on each other.

You told your buddy that if you rubbed your palms really hard together, in a certain direction, it would make them smell like roses.

Then when the “sucker” put his palm up to smell it, somebody would push it into his face.

Then everybody would run, and the “sucker” would chase us.

Then we would all go and do it to somebody else.

As you can guess, it didn’t take long before all the kids knew the “con.”

But the structure has been around for a long time.

Using people’s natural tendencies against them.

This is how goofs like Jim Jones build massive cults that willingly follow him to their deaths.

But driving skills, as they say, can be used to drive a getaway car or an ambulance.

Or a hammer can be used to build a beautiful home or to destroy something.

For example, a very common tendency for us humans, when we hear somebody tell us about their big plans, is to question them.

And not neutrally, usually from a slightly “critical” viewpoint.

Trouble is most of us tell ourselves that we’re “just trying to help.”

Like somebody says they are going on a trip alone to a foreign country.

We say something like, “Wow, isn’t that kind dangerous?”

We pretend that we’re concerned, but in reality we’re jealous.

We’d LOVE to be able to do the same thing, but for one reason or another, we don’t.

And most people don’t really like the idea of other people doing all the fun stuff.

So we throw out the “Wow, isn’t that dangerous?” statement, pretending to be concerned, but really trying to throw a tiny wet blanket on their plans.

OF course, since everybody does this to everybody I’m sure you’ve been on the receiving end quite a few times.

What’s the antidote?

To simply do the opposite.

Instead of saying something silly like, “Wow, isn’t that dangerous?” We can ask them a question that PRESUPPOSES they will be able to handle ANYTHING that comes up.

And this actually WILL help them.

Not only that, but it will make them feel much better about what they’re doing.

The cool thing is you can use this “trick” ANY TIME somebody is talking to you about something they want.

Even if they only “halfway” want it.

By the time the finish talking to YOU, they’ll want it a lot more.

And they’ll associate that WANT with YOU.

Learn More:
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