Category Archives: Communication Skill

Yay!

One BILLION Dollars!

One of the paradoxes of being assertive is what we think we’ll happen.

This is due to the very squirrely nature of our brain.

We want something, we are scared of doing it, but we don’t like to admit we’re scared of doing it.

Since that would make us feel bad on an ego-level, we use all kinds of biases and cognitive dissonance to reframe what’s going on around us.

Often times we’ll be in a situation where somebody asks us a favor, and we don’t think much of it.

And then they ask another favor, and we go ahead and help them.

But the third time they ask, we’re starting to feel like they are taking advantage of us.

But since we didn’t say anything the first time, it’s hard to speak up now.

And in those few situations where we do speak up, it’s hard to maintain our cool.

Being assertive means to plainly say, “no,” without needing to give a reason.

But there are other ways.

Easier ways.

And even more playful ways that are not only just as effective, but may even enhance the relationship.

Instead of just going along with any unexpected requests, ask what you get in return.

From the askers point of view, this is very hard to argue with.

Unless they are your direct boss (or a cop) they aren’t going to say:

“What do you mean what do you get? Your job is to obediently serve me!”

The opposite usually happens.

Especially if you ask playfully.

Simply state their request back, to make sure you understand.

That will make them feel good, since you’re demonstrating that you’re actually paying attention to what they said.

Then playfully say, “Ok, after I do that, what will I get?”

This presupposes you will fulfill their request, and that they’ll give you something in return.

They won’t have anticipated this, but they will enjoy the question.

It implies an ongoing “tit for tat” relationship.

It’s also a good way screen out freeloaders.

You can even playfully put them on the spot.

Since they won’t have anticipated that response, they’ll usually (and honestly) ask, “What do you want?”

To which you can reply:

“One BILLION dollars!”

And say it like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers (making sure you put a lot of emphasis on the “B”).

This will do a lot of things.

One is it will send a clear message that you are not a pushover.

Two is it will make it much more fun to “defend your boundaries.”

Three is they will honestly feel obligated to return the favor.

This is a very playful way to deal with folks you suspect are trying to sneak past your boundaries.

There are plenty others.

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Weaponized Hypnosis

One For The Road

Be The Man With No Name

We all love super hero movies.

Even if they aren’t in costumes or call themselves “heroes” we love the idea of good guys and bad guys.

A decade or so ago, Clint Eastwood was receiving some kind of lifetime achievement award.

So they had a lot of celebrities giving speeches and making jokes.

I remember Jim Carrey’s speech.

He said when he was a kid, he loved the “spaghetti westerns.”

Mostly about a bad ass cowboy with no name.

The reason, Carrey explained, that we love the common “hero with no name” archetype is because it makes it easier for us to imagine that WE are the hero.

Some hero’s need to go through intense character arcs, others not so much.

But the idea of “good” and “evil” is very ancient.

Lots of philosophies and religions try to describe it, explain it, but so far, none have done so with much success.

That evil exists is about all they can agree on.

And like plenty of the characters in those movies, there are many ways to deal with evil.

The reason we LOVE seeing the hero destroy the bad guy is that we would love to, but most of us just run in the other direction.

When normal people DO step in and stop bad things from happening, EVERYBODY is quick to call them a hero.

Everybody loves the guy or girl who can stick up for those who can’t defend themselves.

Does this mean you need to practice in your dojo for an hour a day and carry a Glock 19 everywhere?

That’s certainly an option, but it’s not the only option.

And it would only work in certain situations.

Where you need to defend yourself physically.

Unfortunately, plenty of “evil” attacks don’t come in physical from.

They come very subtly.

Hidden between the surface structure words.

When they are directed at you, it hurts, but you don’t know why.

It’s like they are punching in the face with an invisible hand.

You can, however, practice in the dojo of your mind.

And develop extremely wicked linguistic self defense skills.

You can avoid the punches.

You can block the punches.

Or you can punch back.

With as much mental devastation as you like.

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Weaponized Hypnosis

Beware

Don’t Be A One Trick Pony

Some skills are transferable, while others aren’t.

Michael Jordan showed this when he tried to play baseball.

Arguably one of the greatest basketball players of all time, he absolutely sucked at baseball.

Barely could hold his own in AA minor leagues.

No doubt he was a gifted athlete.

But his gifts were only good in one very specialized area.

Exercise in general is a good metaphor for life skills.

Bodybuilders, for example, work out to create a FORM.

Where athletes, on the other hand, work out to create FUNCTION.

In many areas, form follows function, and function follows form.

If you’re happy, you’ll smile.

If you are sad and FORCE yourself to walk around with a goofy grin on your face, you will put yourself in a good mood.

The smile (form) creates the function (happiness).

And the happiness (function) creates the form (smile).

But athletes that work out for function reasons (like baseball and football players) don’t always have good FORM (not form of play, but form of appearance).

Some lineman for example, are not exactly svelte.

On the other hand, a world class bodybuilder that has 0.2% body fat and looks like a Greek sculpture, probably couldn’t play any sport to save his life.

One famous athlete that had both form AND function was Bruce Lee.

A world class fighter, but also a very impressive form.

In some cases, form and function are very tightly related.

Generally speaking, anything like martial arts where you train your body to be used in a WIDE VARIETY of ways is going to increase the connection between form and function.

Linemen, on the other hand, only need short bursts of explosive strength.

Skilled martial artists need speed, strength, agility, stamina and flexibility.

It’s very hard to create all that function without creating impressive form.

Language is the same way.

When you develop your language to be used defensively, you’re guaranteed to get tons of secondary benefits.

Benefits that can help you make money and build relationships.

After all, skills are skills.

And the more areas in which you can practice using them, the more flexible your skills will be.

Most martial artist never intend on getting into a street fight.

But they aren’t afraid of them either.

You can use your words the same way.

To win hearts and clients, or to destroy minds.

Giving you a MASSIVE range of confidence.

Learn More:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Super Powers Hypnosis

How To Develop Secret Word Power

When I was very young, my sister and I decided to make a pizza.

It’s my earliest memory of cooking.

I don’t remember exactly HOW we made it.

I just remember two things.

Before we made it, we thought it was going to be AWESOME.

But after we made it, it tasted like crap.

I guess we were too young to know about things called “recipes” and that certain foods go well together and some don’t.

We just piled a bunch of stuff on a piece of bread and put it in the toaster oven.

Yuck!

Most of reality has a structure. Laws of chemistry and physics, how atoms are put together.

If you’re a farmer you’ve got have the right soil, weather, climate, etc.

If you planted the wrong seeds in the wrong dirt at the wrong time of year in the wrong climate, you wouldn’t get a tomato plant.

You probably wouldn’t get anything, except maybe frustrated.

But humans have been growing things for a LONG time.

And they’ve slowly changed the way the grow things.

For example, if you look at corn from a couple thousand years ago, it looks TOTALLY different than today.

This is BEFORE any GMO engineering.

This is just smart farmers playing around with different seeds in different places in different amounts.

This is the cool thing about our reality.

It does have structure, but within that structure is a lot of flexibility.

All of the stuff humans has invented is proof of this.

But you don’t have to be an inventor to play around with the rules of reality.

You can do it with the words you use.

Most people don’t think about the words they use, or the thoughts they think that they try to describe with the words they use.

They just have a bunch of jumbled thoughts, and they turn those thoughts into a stream of jumbled up words.

If you listen carefully, most of these “thoughts into word streams” sound pretty similar.

But if you take a little of time to come up with slightly different thoughts, and use some carefully crafted words to DESCRIBE those slightly different thoughts.

You can have a LOT of fun with people.

And get them thinking and even doing some pretty crazy things.

People will think you have secret X-Men powers or something.

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Super Charisma

Top Secret Charisma Technique

Everybody would like to BE charismatic.

And many (certainly not all) people who consider themselves introverts would like to be more “extroverted,” at least in some situations.

One of the things that messes us up is our instincts.

The easiest to understand is hunger.

It worked great back in the day when we had to hunt for our food.

But today when there are fast food places all over, it’s not such a great asset.

Many of our instincts are like that.

They were designed for the OPPOSITE kind of society that we live in.

How we communicate to others is a perfect example.

Back then, there wasn’t much to talk about.

Since our lives were fairly limited.

Only in the last few hundred years has the amount of STUFF exploded.

Imagine what it must have been like only a few hundred years ago.

Suppose you lived on a farm. What would you daydream about?

You wouldn’t have NEARLY as much stuff in your experience, so you wouldn’t be able to daydream about much.

If you were lucky, you might have had access to books with pictures.

But today, with all the wicked special effects and rapidly advancing technology, we can use THAT stuff to start from.

Which means we can imagine quite a bit.

Which means when you talk to OTHER people about the stuff they like to IMAGINE, you can get them pretty fired up.

But it involves talking to people OPPOSITE of how our monkey brains are wired.

Our egos want to impress them with US and OUR STUFF.

That’s kind of the equivalent if our ancient hunger instinct wanting to eat everything in sight.

It sort of “feels good” but at the same time we sort of suspect it’s not the best strategy.

Luckily, flipping our “conversation switch” to a more modern, effective approach is WAY EASIER than flipping our hunger switch.

All you’ve got to do is FORGET about YOU, and ask about THEM.

And they’ll get fired up, excited to finally talk in detail about the stuff they want.

They’ll remember YOU associated with those feelings.

Which means you can sort of “sneak your way” into their brains as an ultra-charismatic person.

Even if you are an introvert.

Giving you the best of both worlds.

Click Here To Learn How

Conquer The Planet - Not Women

Never Let Her Catch You

It’s been said that there are two great tragedies in life.

Not achieving your goals, and achieving them.

What in the world does this mean?

If you achieve them, it feels cool for a while. But then what? Contrary to popular desires, having something isn’t nearly as rewarding as pursuing something.

So long as that something is big and important to you, for your own reasons.

Humans feel on purpose in the pursuit.

That’s when we feel most alive.

So when we get to a point where we finally get there, we lose that feeling of being “on purpose.”

On the other hand, if we ever have to face a reality that our goals are absolutely unobtainable, that sucks even more.

One of the crazy ways this plays out is with females and relationships.

Women are hard wired to chase, but not quite get.

So when they “get” (or think they get) it messes everything up.

This story plays out again and again.

Girl is attracted to a guy. Girl chases guy, and “gets” him. Then she “domesticates” him.

But once he’s “domesticated,” she no longer feels the thrill of the chase, or the “spark of romance” in the relationship.

She has him, but it’s not the same as ALMOST having him.

She gets bored, and she starts to look elsewhere for the same excitement.

The poor guy, of course, has no idea what’s going on.

How can you avoid this?

Never let her “fully” catch you.

ALWAYS be chasing something, so she always has to chase you.

Don’t ruin it (for both of you) by letting her catch you.

Always have something big that you’re pursuing.

Even if it’s decades out in the future.

If you have something HUGE (according to you) that you are pursuing, this is the most attractive thing a woman can find.

A Driven Man who has big plans for his life.

She’ll test you, she’ll want to control you, but deep down, she WANTS to keep chasing you.

Let her, and always be one step ahead.

Click Here To Learn How

Mind Persuasion Manifest Women

Learn Her Triggers of Desire

If you put together the correct ingredients for a cake, and put it in the right pan in the right oven at the right temperature for the right amount of time, you’ll get a cake.

Every single time.

You won’t sometimes get a cake, or only get a cake if you are lucky. But if you do the same things on the front end, you’ll get the same things on the back end.

Einstein’s way of describing this curious facet about reality is that “God doesn’t play dice with the universe.”

Meaning the laws of nature are NOT based on randomness.

Sure, they can SEEM random if we don’t understand the underlying rules, and how the rules might interact with each other.

For example, if you tried to bake a cake a the bottom of the ocean, you probably wouldn’t get a cake. You’d get a soggy salty mess.

People are the same way.

It can sure seem that we’ve all got these “random behavior generators” in our brains, but we really don’t.

All of us look out into the world with an idea of what we want.

And based on our understandings of our skills, and the world, we’ll take certain actions to get what we want.

This same process happens whether or not we’re taking a leak in the middle of the night or building a boat in our backyard.

We are also subject to stimuli.

If you feel a rat crawl across your foot as you’re eating dinner, you’ll recoil in horror.

If you see a little kid running across a room with a happy expression on his face, you’ll probably smile.

And if you exhibit the right behavioral patterns and communication strategies, you’ll create attraction in women.

Every single time.

Whether or not you or they act on it is a different story.

But creating attraction and desire is pretty simple once you get your mind around it.

Click Here To Learn How

Interrupting Patterns Can Lead To Expanding Opportunities

I Shot An Elephant In My Pajamas

I used to have this friend that had a particular skill. It wasn’t anything that was going to make him rich, or famous, but it was really fun to watch. The interesting thing was that whenever he tried to purposely do it, like think about it beforehand, it never was quite as amusing.

It even was less funny to watch, and more obviously forced, when there was a group of people, and somebody mentioned this particular skill, and then everybody turned and expected him to turn it on right on the spot. He wasn’t a shy guy, so he never melted under pressure or anything, but it seemed to be much more spontaneous whenever he just launched into this particular behavior without any prompting, and kind of riffed off of himself. Especially when it happened at a party or something when there were plenty of people around, and they were completely taken by surprise.

I was reading this article the other day about something called a pattern interrupt. This is something from NLP that goes way back. What is likely the most taught, or talked about, or referenced example is the handshake interrupt.

Milton Erickson, the famous hypnotherapist invented this, mostly by trial and error. He would walk up to somebody, stick out his hand, and right in the middle of the handshake, he would suddenly shift into hypnotist mode, and pretty soon the person would be standing there staring at his or her hand.

The way it works is like this. The brain is a very lazy organ. Perhaps lazy is the wrong word. The brain is a very efficient organ. It doesn’t want to waste a bunch of energy figuring out the same things over and over. The brain likes to find patterns, so that it doesn’t have to expend a lot of energy. Most people are surprised when they find out that the brain burns over twenty percent of your daily energy. So it makes sense it wants to make things as efficient as possible.

So the way it does this is it looks for patterns whenever possible. Like when you first learned how to open a door, you pretty much knew how to open all doors. And when you first learned the alphabet, you could read any font, regardless of how esoteric or flowery it was.

If your brain had to stop everything, and spend all its energy trying to relearn how to open a door every time, then you wouldn’t get much accomplished.

One of the reasons, according to many evolutionary biologists, for the reason of our powerful brain was because we had to develop all kinds of complex social skills as we evolved on the African plains. So a large part of our brain goes into reading body language, and trying to decide who to trust and who we can take advantage of.

So it makes sense that patterns involving other people are very important to the brain. Once we figure out certain behaviors that we do over and over again, it can potentially save a lot of energy.

Meeting somebody for the first time is one of those patterns. If you can imagine what it would be like if we had to invent ways to get to know somebody every single time we met somebody new, it would be an extraordinary burden on our brain. Meeting somebody for the first time is extremely important, because how accurately we judge them can have a profound effect on our future safety, especially when you consider what it was like back in the caveman days.

If you made the wrong impression about somebody, perhaps thinking if they were harmless when they were really a wolf in sheep’s clothing, it could be devastating later on. So when you meet somebody for the first time, you need as much brainpower as possible to “feel them out,” so to speak. Which makes the handshake interrupt very powerful.

The automatic portion of the handshake, where you respond by sticking out your hand when somebody sticks out there, grab it and pump it a few times, and say the automatic “My names Jack, nice to meet you, nice to meet you too…” is rarely given any conscious thought.

So when Erickson would stop right in the middle of the handshake, people were completely thrown off balance. The mind is do entrenched in the automatic behavior that there is a complete and total shutdown of all thought for a few moments as the “targets” tried to figure out what was going on. And during this brief window, Erickson would see how much he could get away with.

A typical interaction would go like this:

Erickson (sticking his hand out) “Hi!”
Mark (Responding with his hand) “Hi.”
Erickson (freezing the handshake in the middle) “Nice to meet you my name is….”

And then he’d quickly grab the other guys hand with his non shaking hand, gently turn it and lift it so the other guy was staring at his palm. He would do this in less than a second.

“..as you look at your hand you can start to wonder about all those things you’ve forgotten, and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to stand here and think of all those wonderful things…” or something similar, that would take up as much of the guys brain CPU as possible.

Then he would walk away and leave the guy staring at his hand.

I think the reason my friend was so funny when he was so spontaneous, was that everybody was busy caught up in their pre-programmed “behavior” and they would be shaken when he started to act out his bizarre behavior. If you take any popular joke, a key element is something that is completely unexpected, especially if the joke is a play on words or something, and delivers a punch line that completely shakes up the imagine that you were led to automatically think.

The old Groucho Marx joke comes to mind:

“Last night I shop an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.”

Or the famous linguistic example of ambiguity:

“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”

I’m sure you can think of many others.

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How Does She Know You’re Lying?

Congruence

I was reading this book a few weeks ago. It was an old, out of print book that I picked up in some old bookshop, by an author that wrote another, more popular book that I’d read. So naturally, I picked it up, since it was only a quarter. The first book “Dress For Success” by John Molloy was a bestseller, and although written back during the seventies had all kinds of useful advice for what kinds of clothes to wear in what kinds of situations.

The interesting thing about Dress For Success was that it wasn’t written as an opinion piece, it wasn’t just another collection of self-proclaimed fashion guru’s advice based on his own personal tastes and experience. The materials in the book were the results of scientific research. The author owned some kind of social research organization, and they would frequently conduct “experiments” by sending people out in public, and have them perform certain tasks. And the only variable they would vary was the clothes that the people wore.

Of course, many of the results were the results of surveys, e.g. asking people’s opinions after “experimenters” would pass by wearing certain clothes. One example is that they had a bunch of guys go out wearing black raincoats. Then they would follow them, and ask people what they thought of them. They would say they were doing an experiment, and have them fill out a questionnaire. Invariably, the people that were wearing beige raincoats were judged to be more professional, and more upper class than those wearing black raincoats.

Another interesting experiment was they sent several men out in public, and had them eat in a restaurant. After they’d finished eating, they’d explain to the waiter/waitress that they’d forgotten their wallet, that contained their ID’s, but they had their checkbook. (This was before debit cards were invented, and many people still paid by personal check). About 80% of the guys swearing button down shirts with ties had their checks accepted, while almost none of the guys without ties had their checks accepted.

The entire book was filled with useful information on how to dress if you are interested in how others perceive you.

But this other book, called “Live for Success,” was more about general lifestyle habits rather than what kinds of clothes you should wear.

For example, they had several guys that were wearing clothes and had bodies and faces as close together as they could get. The randomized them, and then had them walk into social environments, like bars or clubs, for a long enough period of time so that people would remember them when asked a few minutes later.

Half of the group walked with their shoulders slumped forward, and their head hanging down. The other group walked with erect posture, shoulders rolled back, and head straight up. Keep in mind that everything else between each group was as consistent as they could make it. Clothing, hairstyle, facial makeup, facial hair, etc. What the found, although not really surprising, was interesting nonetheless. The group with erect posture was rated an 8 out of 10, on average, while the guys with poor posture were rated at a 6.5 out of ten. The obvious take away from this is that simply by walking with correct posture, holding your shoulders back, and your head up will increase your “attractiveness” score by a full point and a half out of ten.

What I found to be the most interesting chapter was on congruence. They did a case study on a guy that, on paper, should have been a fairly likeable guy. Decent job, decent family, good income, decent education. But when they interviewed his friends and coworkers, they all described him in completely distasteful terms. The company that employed him had consulted with Malloy’s company (the author of the book) to try and determine what it was about this guy that turned people off so much. Many times people just couldn’t stand to even be in the same room him. The guy didn’t swear, didn’t have excessive body odor, didn’t leer at females inappropriately, nothing obvious that you would think of when you would hear somebody described with such obvious distaste. Nevertheless, whenever his coworkers would see this poor guy coming, they would make a beeline in the other direction.

After a few weeks of study, Malloy and his associates found out what it was. The guy was completely incongruent. His facial expression was incongruent with his message, his body language was incongruent with his speech, and even when he was agreeing verbally with what somebody was saying, his body language and facial expression was screaming the complete opposite. His body language, facial expressions and gestures were always completely opposite of his speech and his language.

Now this may have had some deep psychological reasons based on childhood or something, but Malloy and his associates weren’t there to fix that. All they were hired to do was to find out what it was about his guy that turned people off so much. Once they put their finger on it, they gave him some exercises and pointers to get his non-verbal communication more in line with his verbal communication. They had him do practice exercises in the mirror, hold his head and body still while he was talking, and other things that slowly brought his body language in line with what his verbal message was.

The interesting thing was that although everybody knew that didn’t want to be in the same room as this guy, nobody could quite put their finger on why. And it took a professional social research firm a few weeks to figure it out as well. After several week of practice, most people accepted him as “normal” and didn’t despise him as much. And he found it much easier to make friends, and be productive in his work when it involved interacting with others outside the company.

The clear take away from this is to always make sure you’re body language is in congruence with your verbal message. Any guy who has come home late at night, and tried to lie to his wife or girlfriend, knows how quickly significant others can pick up on incongruent communication, especially females. Females seem to be much better at picking up incongruencies in communication than males.

If you’re in sales, being incongruent can kill a sale before it even starts. Even if you believe in the product you are selling, your body language can shoot you in the foot. I used to work with this guy that would shake his head back and forth (the universal sign for “no”) whenever he talked about his product. This would turn of clients, as it appeared this guy had a distaste for his own product.

But the truth was, when he was speaking of his product, his thought was “nobody can do it better than us” which led to his head shaking. This was often misinterpreted by potential clients as a disbelief in his product’s quality. So even if you have a strong belief in something, you can project a conflicted message if you’re not careful.

The simple way around this is to simply get out of your head, focus on who you are speaking with, and focus on your message. Just like the guys in the bar, hold your head up, keep your back straight, and look them in the eye. You’ll have much more success this way.

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Structure, Content, And Pajama Wearing Elephants

Would You Mind Passing The Guacamole?

Once I had to meet a friend of mine at the last minute to play a round of golf. I was at this party the week prior, and one of my buddies was talking about how he’d recently started playing, and we should play sometime together. He’d asked me if I wanted to play the following weekend, and I said “sure, why not.” The way he asked seemed to be more like a “we should play sometime” rather than getting his calendar out and actually filling in that morning.

I figured if we were going to play for real, he’d call me during the week to let me know what our t-time was. Little did that his idea of playing golf was just to show up at the course and wait for the first available slot. He didn’t mention any specific times, nor did he call me during the week to confirm, so I was surprised when he called me at 6:30 on Saturday morning, from the golf course, asking me where I was. I suppose you get much better luck just showing up on a Saturday if you show up at 6:30 in the morning. Silly me.

One of the interesting things about language that Seven Pinker points out in “The Stuff Of Thought,” is how we humans tend to cloak our intentions behind our language fairly often. If you were to look only at the surface structure of language, we’d have a lot of miscommunication. The example Pinker gives is when sitting at the table with friends or family, we rarely blurt out “Pass me the guacamole,” in it’s the pure imperative form of the word, even thought that’s exactly what we mean.

Even in something as simple as asking for the salt or pepper among close family or friends we shield our raw intentions through vague language. If somebody took the surface structure literally when we said, “Could you pass me the salt?” We would never get the salt.

It’s amazing that misfires in communication like in my golf story don’t happen more often. My friend assumed I knew that “Lets play golf next Saturday” meant it was not only a done deal, but also it meant to show up at the course at 6:30 A.M.

Often times when we communicate, we don’t even have an intention to shield. But we don’t want to give our freedom completely over to our friends, so we attempt test out their intentions and see if we like them, or we’d like to improve on them or not. This happens frequently in the familiar “I dunno, what do you want to do tonight?” Once I spent about two hours on a date (thankfully not a first, or it would have been the last) driving around going back and forth like that.

When two people that don’t have a plan come together, not much is going to get done. When people don’t have a plan, we tend to gravitate towards a feeling of ego protection, so we tend to not want to try new things. For most of us, in order to try something completely new, we’ve usually got to specifically plan to do so, or have somebody that knows what they’re doing take us along.

Once I had a boss that wasn’t quite at skilled at oblique communication (either that or it just didn’t matter much to her). I was working on a project, and wanted her input. I asked her advice, and she said, “I don’t know. Tell me what you think and I’ll let you know if it’s acceptable or not.” Thanks for the help, boss.

Many a vaudeville routine has been built up around miscommunication, or misunderstanding of what each other is saying, the most famous being the “Who’s On First” routine by Abbot and Costello. (Recently enjoying a surge in popularity due to the president of China being a guy named “Hu”). Many jokes are set up so that the first have is interpreted one way, and the punch line is based on a completely different interpretation. Couple examples:

Losing one parent is difficult. Losing both is just plain careless.

Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I’ll never know.

Why did the guy keep a clock underneath his desk? He wanted to work over time.

Ok, I’ll stop.

One way to use vague language is in sales, seduction, and hypnosis. Most people are not completely aware of their criteria in these areas, what they want to buy, who they want to hook up with and how they want to solve their problems.

When you skillfully use vague language in such a way that the target of your words can fill in the blanks, even on a subconscious level, you can elicit some pretty powerful states and desires. If you’re in sales, you can elicit a strong pleasurable feeling of buying something really nice, without really getting into specifics of what that actually was. Most people would be hard pressed to describe in detail what it felt like when they bought something they really liked.

But when you artfully vague language, you can elicit those feelings, and attach them to any product you want. Likewise for seduction and therapeutic hypnosis.

If somebody comes to you with a bad habit they’d like to quit, you don’t have to specifically elicit how they got rid of other bad habits you can just elicit that resourceful state that everybody has experienced when they know they can overcome something. Everyone, through the simple fact of still being alive, has over come hundreds if not thousands of obstacles in their lives. All you need to do is elicit a few of those strategies, as well as a belief that it’s within that persons capabilities, and you can effectively transplant that strategy and self belief into their current habit they’d like to quit. All without really being specific about anything.

This entails using a lot of “structure language” rather than “content language.”

Content language:

This water has been filtered through .04-micron filters seventeen times, and then aged in walnut casks to give it a pH of 7.3, which has been shown to be the perfect pH for thirst quenching, according to the latest research. There we fully recommend “product name” water for all your drinking needs.

Structure language:

I don’t know what it’s like for you, when you feel that wonderful feeling, of cool water hitting the back of your throat, and as you easily quench your thirst with every delicious gulp, and as you feel the weight of this water in your hands (show picture of water you’re selling), you know that your thirst will be gone in a matter of moments, and you get that sense of safety and satisfaction knowing that you are in full control of your desires, and have the capability to satisfy those desires (emphasize bottle of water) anytime you want, you know that “product name” will be waiting to serve you whenever you need it.

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To master both content and structure language and take full charge of your life and your intentions, click on the link below:

Success with NLP

Success with NLP