Tag Archives: Communication

What What What?

Re-Calibrate Your Guidance System

A common metaphor for human goals is a guided missile.

A missile that is programmed toward it’s target, and it is constantly adjusting.

Because of wind, temperature, etc.

The idea is that every millisecond the missile is measuring it’s trajectory and continually updating how it “steers” itself.

How does this translate to human behavior, or goals?

One way is how we learn things.

Think of a little kid learning to walk.

His or her objective is to walk around on two legs, like all the other people.

They try and fail.

Each time they fail, they get valuable feedback.

More memory on how to balance.

What works, and what doesn’t.

Since they are similarly programmed to keep at it (and enjoy the process) eventually they master the process of “walking” and it becomes a totally unconscious process.

Of course, when we get older, we tend to lose this ability.

They say we are all geniuses when we are born, but we are “de-geniused” by the time we get out of school.

One way to look at the educational system is a “de-genusing” system.

(Interestingly, one trait of Einstein as a college student is he NEVER went to class…)

What if there were a way to recalibrate our natural learner?

To reawaken our inner guidance system so we could learn ANY skill, just as easily and enjoyable as we learned to walk?

How could this be possible?

We’ve only had the internet for a few decades.

TV for about 70 years.

Electricity only for a couple hundred.

In the realm of human instincts, that’s WAY too fast for our instincts to keep up.

And guess what?

That natural guidance system is based on our instincts.

NOT our conscious brains.

But we can USE our conscious brains to RE-CALIBRATE those instincts.

So our “natural guidance system” is back “on line.”

So we can learn ANYTHING as easily as learning to walk.

Social skills.

Relationships skills.

Even financial skills.

Learn How:

Ego Taming

Money Money Money

Things You Can’t Not Do

It’s a common idea in NLP that you can’t “not” communicate.

Meaning you are always sending out signals.

Your mood is reflected in your posture, facial expressions, body language, etc.

If you’re trying to sell a product to somebody (or impress a girl) they don’t have to say a single word, yet you’d know whether you’re on the right track or not.

If they just glared at you with their arms crossed, you’d know you were getting nowhere.

On the other hand, if they had a smile on their face, and nodded appropriately (and their pupils were dilated) you’d know you were golden.

But there are a lot of there things we humans can’t “not” do.

One of them is exchange.

Every breath in is to exchange oxygen for carbon dioxide and vice versa.

Every time you shift in your seat you are trading you present state for a slighter better future state.

And every action COSTS some energy.

As biological entities, we are driven to always CONSUME energy, and always SPEND energy.

In that sense, we’re just like a young couple buying their first home.

We want to get the best return for the least effort.

Another thing that is ALWAYS happening is we have an unlimited amount of internal desires.

We’ve always got one or two at the top of the list.

Sometimes it’s a simple as finding a toilet.

Other times it’s as important as convincing the guy in front of us to hire us instead of any of other goofs outside the office.

When the magic happens is when humans interact.

When somebody else has something that satisfies OUR desire.

And we happen to have something that satisfies THEIR desire.

This can be two kids trading cookies on the playground.

Or it could be two future business partners sharing overlapping ideas and dreams of a future billion dollar company.

This concept has been going on as long as there have been people.

It is unstoppable.

It is uncontainable.

It is who we are.

The more you get in game, the more money you’ll make.

All you need to do is maximize your nature.

That which is ALREADY inside you.

Learn How:

Wealth Tuning

Gadzooks!

How To Own The Future

Potential energy is a cool idea.

Since our lives are utterly dependent on energy, it’s an important thing to understand.

Until very, very recently, we got our body-energy directly from animals.

Same as all the other animals on Earth.

A huge cycle.

Small animals are eaten by larger animals, which are eaten by even larger animals.

When we humans need other kinds of energy (for warmth or cooking) we had to find wood or other burnable material.

The wood came from trees that took their energy from the earth.

Ultimately, all energy on earth comes from the sun.

A gigantic ball of thermonuclear fusion.

Leaves take sunlight and convert it into energy.

Even when we use fossil fuel, we are essentially taking the “energy” from previously living beings.

It’s the same structure as killing and eating a giraffe.

We eat the giraffe meat, we are taking energy from a previously living thing.

When we eat an ear of corn, we are taking energy from a previously living thing.

When we put gas in our cars (or use things that are shipped all around the world using massive ships and planes) we are using fossil-fuel energy from previously living things.

When you think about it, there’s the sun, and all the living stuff on Earth.

And all the living stuff on Earth is in competition with each other.

Eating each other, running away from each other, always trying to figure out clever ways to get energy to survive.

But humans invented something a couple thousand years ago.

To use a VERY over-used term, it WAS a “game changer.”

See, even fossil fuel has to say in same chemical structure to be any use.

Yes, it’s potential energy, but it’s energy to be used DIRECTLY.

We humans invented a much more metaphysical form of potential energy.

Money.

This is potential “energy” that can be used to buy “stuff.”

What stuff?

Any stuff.

Stuff that exists, and stuff that doesn’t yet exist.

Think about that.

It’s both plainly normal and incredibly amazing.

Suppose you save a little bit of money (whatever form of money is being used).

And you hang on to it.

That money allows you to imagine a much better future.

And you don’t even have to participate.

If you have ENOUGH money saved, you can relax and let other people do all the work.

All the trial and error research and inventing.

And once they’re finished, you step right up and trade some of your money for whatever it is they’ve invented.

This is exactly why the amount of things EXPLODED after the invention of money.

People were driven to invent stuff so they could get money.

And people were driven to get money so they could buy these new inventions, whatever they might be.

A HUGE positive reinforcing loop that has been humming along every since.

And it’s easier ever to get in the game and get some.

Learn How:

Wealth Tuning

Far Away Dreams

Have You Been To Charm School?

No matter who you are, you have to learn skills as you go through life.

That’s one of the many differences between humans and all the other life forms on this planet.

Humans come with tons of instincts.

But we also come with tons of learning capability.

Even way back in the day when we were hunter-gathers, we had to continuously learn.

Since we were nomads, nothing was ever the same.

Different environment, different source of food, different climate, different things to be worried about.

Now, with our massively complex society, continuous learning and updating your skills is pretty much a given.

Like the Red Queen in “Alice in Wonderland,” you have to keep running just to stay in place.

When it comes to learning, there are two kinds of skills.

Skills that start off in the “unconscious incompetence” area, or the skills that start off in the “unconscious competence” area.

Most people only ever consider the first collection of skills.

The ones we don’t know we suck at, or unconscious incompetence.

Some new technology is invented, so we need to learn it.

Before it was invented, nobody knew anything about it, so we didn’t know that we didn’t know.

Then we know that we don’t know (conscious incompetence), and then we know that we sort of know (conscious competence).

A few people take it to the level of unconscious competence.

Meaning they are skilled, and do so without thinking.

For most of us, this comes in doing simple things like riding bikes or tying our shoes.

But there is a whole other realm of learning.

Of taking something we are born knowing how to do.

These are the things that start off as unconscious competence.

Walking, talking, interacting with people.

These are the things we tend to think we’re either “good” at or “not good” at.

And if we see somebody who is “good” at one of these skills, we shrug our shoulders as if there’s nothing we can do.

This, however, is false.

You can take any instinctive skill (unconscious competence) and raise it to the conscious competence level.

Back in the old days, girls would do this.

They would go to “charm school” to learn how to take their unconscious behavior (walking, talking etc.) and refine it.

Of course, in today’s society we’re told to just “be yourself.”

Which is perfectly fine.

If you are happy with what you are getting as your “authentic self,” that’s fantastic.

But your “authentic self” can be refined any way you like.

A particularly effective way is how you use your language.

Most people have half baked thoughts they try to describe with haphazardly chosen words.

But you can learn to use your language with extreme precision.

And deadly force.

Learn How:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Yay!

One BILLION Dollars!

One of the paradoxes of being assertive is what we think we’ll happen.

This is due to the very squirrely nature of our brain.

We want something, we are scared of doing it, but we don’t like to admit we’re scared of doing it.

Since that would make us feel bad on an ego-level, we use all kinds of biases and cognitive dissonance to reframe what’s going on around us.

Often times we’ll be in a situation where somebody asks us a favor, and we don’t think much of it.

And then they ask another favor, and we go ahead and help them.

But the third time they ask, we’re starting to feel like they are taking advantage of us.

But since we didn’t say anything the first time, it’s hard to speak up now.

And in those few situations where we do speak up, it’s hard to maintain our cool.

Being assertive means to plainly say, “no,” without needing to give a reason.

But there are other ways.

Easier ways.

And even more playful ways that are not only just as effective, but may even enhance the relationship.

Instead of just going along with any unexpected requests, ask what you get in return.

From the askers point of view, this is very hard to argue with.

Unless they are your direct boss (or a cop) they aren’t going to say:

“What do you mean what do you get? Your job is to obediently serve me!”

The opposite usually happens.

Especially if you ask playfully.

Simply state their request back, to make sure you understand.

That will make them feel good, since you’re demonstrating that you’re actually paying attention to what they said.

Then playfully say, “Ok, after I do that, what will I get?”

This presupposes you will fulfill their request, and that they’ll give you something in return.

They won’t have anticipated this, but they will enjoy the question.

It implies an ongoing “tit for tat” relationship.

It’s also a good way screen out freeloaders.

You can even playfully put them on the spot.

Since they won’t have anticipated that response, they’ll usually (and honestly) ask, “What do you want?”

To which you can reply:

“One BILLION dollars!”

And say it like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers (making sure you put a lot of emphasis on the “B”).

This will do a lot of things.

One is it will send a clear message that you are not a pushover.

Two is it will make it much more fun to “defend your boundaries.”

Three is they will honestly feel obligated to return the favor.

This is a very playful way to deal with folks you suspect are trying to sneak past your boundaries.

There are plenty others.

Learn More:

Weaponized Hypnosis

One For The Road

Be The Man With No Name

We all love super hero movies.

Even if they aren’t in costumes or call themselves “heroes” we love the idea of good guys and bad guys.

A decade or so ago, Clint Eastwood was receiving some kind of lifetime achievement award.

So they had a lot of celebrities giving speeches and making jokes.

I remember Jim Carrey’s speech.

He said when he was a kid, he loved the “spaghetti westerns.”

Mostly about a bad ass cowboy with no name.

The reason, Carrey explained, that we love the common “hero with no name” archetype is because it makes it easier for us to imagine that WE are the hero.

Some hero’s need to go through intense character arcs, others not so much.

But the idea of “good” and “evil” is very ancient.

Lots of philosophies and religions try to describe it, explain it, but so far, none have done so with much success.

That evil exists is about all they can agree on.

And like plenty of the characters in those movies, there are many ways to deal with evil.

The reason we LOVE seeing the hero destroy the bad guy is that we would love to, but most of us just run in the other direction.

When normal people DO step in and stop bad things from happening, EVERYBODY is quick to call them a hero.

Everybody loves the guy or girl who can stick up for those who can’t defend themselves.

Does this mean you need to practice in your dojo for an hour a day and carry a Glock 19 everywhere?

That’s certainly an option, but it’s not the only option.

And it would only work in certain situations.

Where you need to defend yourself physically.

Unfortunately, plenty of “evil” attacks don’t come in physical from.

They come very subtly.

Hidden between the surface structure words.

When they are directed at you, it hurts, but you don’t know why.

It’s like they are punching in the face with an invisible hand.

You can, however, practice in the dojo of your mind.

And develop extremely wicked linguistic self defense skills.

You can avoid the punches.

You can block the punches.

Or you can punch back.

With as much mental devastation as you like.

Learn More:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Don't Be Left Behind

Release The Hounds

Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile.

Everybody wants stuff.

And everybody has to do stuff to get stuff.

This is true on a pure energy level.

You’ve got to move your body to get food.

We have deep and ancient instincts to make sure we eat more calories than we burn.

Our body fat is a helpful energy storage system.

Like our own private energy savings account.

To help this, we all have these programs in the back of our mind that are always running.

So we (or rather our subconscious) is always on the lookout for shortcuts.

Ways to get more stuff with less effort.

You might say this deep programming is responsible for all the inventions we have.

Normally this is a very good thing.

But sometimes it works against us.

Because that same program (get more stuff with less effort) isn’t just for physical stuff, it’s for everything.

Every time we are negotiating a sales price, for example, both sides want to maximize what they get and minimize what they give.

This also happens in relationships.

All relationships.

Friends, lovers, family members

We all have that deep programming that says “get more with less effort.”

This is the heart of all emotional abuse.

Somebody wants something from you.

So they first try to get it for free.

If that doesn’t work, they’ll get it as cheaply as they can.

This is when they slightly test your boundaries.

Kind of like a couple of cat burglars sneaking around the outside of your house.

They’re checking if you have a dog or an alarm system.

Once they get up close, (and realize you have no dog or alarm system) the next step is to look around for an open window.

This is what people do when they carefully test your boundaries.

Some people are respectful and polite, and don’t do this.

They are the types who spend a lot of conscious effort so they don’t offend others.

But some people aren’t like that.

Their only guideline is “don’t get caught.”

And most of the time they don’t.

They slightly test everybody.

Those that push back, they leave alone.

But those that don’t, they remember.

And ever so slightly, keep carefully and subtly pushing against their boundaries.

Some do it just for the thrill.

Others want your money, your sex, or your compliance.

Luckily, guard dogs and alarms systems are easy to install.

Metaphorically, this means understanding the linguistic structure of their covert attacks.

Then you can be like Mr. Burns on The Simpsons.

Super rich guy with a huge house on a huge piece of property.

He would watch people walk onto his property via close circuit TV.

Once they got in close enough, he would give the order.

“Release the hounds.”

You can do the same.

Learn How:

Weaponized Hypnosis

The Kids Are Not All Right

Dirt In The Sleeping Bag

I remember the first time I was bullied.

This kid had just joined my boy scout troop.

We were on a backpacking trip.

It wasn’t serious bullying, but it bothered me.

There was about a dozen kids and three or four scoutmasters.

Like most bullies, he knew how to delivery the taunting when nobody was looking.

Even NFL players know to do this strategically.

They slam an opposing player, verbally or physically.

But they do it strategically.

When the ref isn’t looking.

And the initiating player is HOPING for a response from the other player.

And THAT response is usually much BIGGER than the initial response.

And THAT response is the one the ref’s see and penalize.

But that is a strategic offense.

When I was in boy scouts, the guy was taunting me knowing I wouldn’t do anything in return.

This is the usual operating procedure of bullies.

They know to taunt you JUST ENOUGH to punish you, but not so much that they suspect you might do something.

Kind of like a cat playing with a mouse before eating it.

In my case, it went on for a couple of days.

Until I blew a gasket.

The whole time I was terrified that if I did anything back, it would get worse.

So when I acted, I wasn’t really thinking.

We were lying in our sleeping bags, all in a row.

And he had chosen the spot just next to me.

So he could mess with me during the night.

But I finally had enough.

After the third or fourth time, I sat up, angry, and scooped up a handful of dirt and through it into his sleeping bag.

I was prepared for a vicious response, but it never came.

And he never bothered me again.

People that throw subtle insults are very clever.

They say things in a very subtle way.

Even if others are watching, and know what just happened, nobody usually says anything.

After all, sticks and stones right?

If they say anything, they might invite the same subtle digs.

The good news is there is a way to put the spotlight IMMEDIATELY on the person throwing the subtle insult.

And it works by asking a VERY innocent question.

One that will give you one hundred percent plausible deniability.

But will make the offender feel VERY MUCH on the spot.

And just like throwing dirt in their sleeping bag, they’ll never bother you again.

Learn How:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Beware

Don’t Be A One Trick Pony

Some skills are transferable, while others aren’t.

Michael Jordan showed this when he tried to play baseball.

Arguably one of the greatest basketball players of all time, he absolutely sucked at baseball.

Barely could hold his own in AA minor leagues.

No doubt he was a gifted athlete.

But his gifts were only good in one very specialized area.

Exercise in general is a good metaphor for life skills.

Bodybuilders, for example, work out to create a FORM.

Where athletes, on the other hand, work out to create FUNCTION.

In many areas, form follows function, and function follows form.

If you’re happy, you’ll smile.

If you are sad and FORCE yourself to walk around with a goofy grin on your face, you will put yourself in a good mood.

The smile (form) creates the function (happiness).

And the happiness (function) creates the form (smile).

But athletes that work out for function reasons (like baseball and football players) don’t always have good FORM (not form of play, but form of appearance).

Some lineman for example, are not exactly svelte.

On the other hand, a world class bodybuilder that has 0.2% body fat and looks like a Greek sculpture, probably couldn’t play any sport to save his life.

One famous athlete that had both form AND function was Bruce Lee.

A world class fighter, but also a very impressive form.

In some cases, form and function are very tightly related.

Generally speaking, anything like martial arts where you train your body to be used in a WIDE VARIETY of ways is going to increase the connection between form and function.

Linemen, on the other hand, only need short bursts of explosive strength.

Skilled martial artists need speed, strength, agility, stamina and flexibility.

It’s very hard to create all that function without creating impressive form.

Language is the same way.

When you develop your language to be used defensively, you’re guaranteed to get tons of secondary benefits.

Benefits that can help you make money and build relationships.

After all, skills are skills.

And the more areas in which you can practice using them, the more flexible your skills will be.

Most martial artist never intend on getting into a street fight.

But they aren’t afraid of them either.

You can use your words the same way.

To win hearts and clients, or to destroy minds.

Giving you a MASSIVE range of confidence.

Learn More:

Weaponized Hypnosis

She Lives On Love Street

How To Be Romantic

What defines “romance?”

Like most other things, there is what’s on the surface.

Then there is what’s underneath.

If you try and fake the surface level stuff without having the underlying energy, it usually doesn’t work.

Think of a really crappy movie with crappy actors.

Or even a movie with a decent plot, but with crappy actors.

That’s how fake, surface level romance comes across.

The “stuff” is there, the “words” are there, but the energy isn’t.

This is what happens when people use romance as a tool.

Especially without feeling it.

On the other hand, if you are feeling it, and you are still using it from a surface structure, “tool” level, it will work.

But not because of the surface level stuff, but because of the underlying energy.

But you can also be romantic without needing any of the surface level stuff.

Plenty of movie show this pretty well.

The romantic idea is delivered as an act, especially one that demonstrates a “knowing” of what’s important to the target.

The romantic “act” demonstrated to the target that the actor recognized and remembered something important to the target.

And they recognized it, appreciated it, and remembered it.

Anybody can buy flowers and chocolates.

That’s why they will never work if they aren’t really “honest.”

What WILL work is if you see something about your love interest that is unique to them.

Something unique they shared.

Something that you recognized as important to them.

It could be their secret dreams for the future.

Or it could be some weird preference they have for pizza topping.

But when you DEMONSTRATE this knowledge, it speaks volumes.

Your ACTION (never, ever your words) say:

I see you. I appreciate you. I get you. I like you. I remember you.

This is free, this is relatively easy, and it absolutely CANNOT be faked.

And the more of these “golden nuggets” of “information” you have about your target, the more powerful their sporadic and unexpected delivery will be.

You won’t need to spend a nickel and he or she will think you’re the most romantic person on Earth.

Learn How:

Love Hypnosis