Category Archives: Body Language

The Kids Are Not All Right

Dirt In The Sleeping Bag

I remember the first time I was bullied.

This kid had just joined my boy scout troop.

We were on a backpacking trip.

It wasn’t serious bullying, but it bothered me.

There was about a dozen kids and three or four scoutmasters.

Like most bullies, he knew how to delivery the taunting when nobody was looking.

Even NFL players know to do this strategically.

They slam an opposing player, verbally or physically.

But they do it strategically.

When the ref isn’t looking.

And the initiating player is HOPING for a response from the other player.

And THAT response is usually much BIGGER than the initial response.

And THAT response is the one the ref’s see and penalize.

But that is a strategic offense.

When I was in boy scouts, the guy was taunting me knowing I wouldn’t do anything in return.

This is the usual operating procedure of bullies.

They know to taunt you JUST ENOUGH to punish you, but not so much that they suspect you might do something.

Kind of like a cat playing with a mouse before eating it.

In my case, it went on for a couple of days.

Until I blew a gasket.

The whole time I was terrified that if I did anything back, it would get worse.

So when I acted, I wasn’t really thinking.

We were lying in our sleeping bags, all in a row.

And he had chosen the spot just next to me.

So he could mess with me during the night.

But I finally had enough.

After the third or fourth time, I sat up, angry, and scooped up a handful of dirt and through it into his sleeping bag.

I was prepared for a vicious response, but it never came.

And he never bothered me again.

People that throw subtle insults are very clever.

They say things in a very subtle way.

Even if others are watching, and know what just happened, nobody usually says anything.

After all, sticks and stones right?

If they say anything, they might invite the same subtle digs.

The good news is there is a way to put the spotlight IMMEDIATELY on the person throwing the subtle insult.

And it works by asking a VERY innocent question.

One that will give you one hundred percent plausible deniability.

But will make the offender feel VERY MUCH on the spot.

And just like throwing dirt in their sleeping bag, they’ll never bother you again.

Learn How:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Beware

Don’t Be A One Trick Pony

Some skills are transferable, while others aren’t.

Michael Jordan showed this when he tried to play baseball.

Arguably one of the greatest basketball players of all time, he absolutely sucked at baseball.

Barely could hold his own in AA minor leagues.

No doubt he was a gifted athlete.

But his gifts were only good in one very specialized area.

Exercise in general is a good metaphor for life skills.

Bodybuilders, for example, work out to create a FORM.

Where athletes, on the other hand, work out to create FUNCTION.

In many areas, form follows function, and function follows form.

If you’re happy, you’ll smile.

If you are sad and FORCE yourself to walk around with a goofy grin on your face, you will put yourself in a good mood.

The smile (form) creates the function (happiness).

And the happiness (function) creates the form (smile).

But athletes that work out for function reasons (like baseball and football players) don’t always have good FORM (not form of play, but form of appearance).

Some lineman for example, are not exactly svelte.

On the other hand, a world class bodybuilder that has 0.2% body fat and looks like a Greek sculpture, probably couldn’t play any sport to save his life.

One famous athlete that had both form AND function was Bruce Lee.

A world class fighter, but also a very impressive form.

In some cases, form and function are very tightly related.

Generally speaking, anything like martial arts where you train your body to be used in a WIDE VARIETY of ways is going to increase the connection between form and function.

Linemen, on the other hand, only need short bursts of explosive strength.

Skilled martial artists need speed, strength, agility, stamina and flexibility.

It’s very hard to create all that function without creating impressive form.

Language is the same way.

When you develop your language to be used defensively, you’re guaranteed to get tons of secondary benefits.

Benefits that can help you make money and build relationships.

After all, skills are skills.

And the more areas in which you can practice using them, the more flexible your skills will be.

Most martial artist never intend on getting into a street fight.

But they aren’t afraid of them either.

You can use your words the same way.

To win hearts and clients, or to destroy minds.

Giving you a MASSIVE range of confidence.

Learn More:

Weaponized Hypnosis

She Lives On Love Street

How To Be Romantic

What defines “romance?”

Like most other things, there is what’s on the surface.

Then there is what’s underneath.

If you try and fake the surface level stuff without having the underlying energy, it usually doesn’t work.

Think of a really crappy movie with crappy actors.

Or even a movie with a decent plot, but with crappy actors.

That’s how fake, surface level romance comes across.

The “stuff” is there, the “words” are there, but the energy isn’t.

This is what happens when people use romance as a tool.

Especially without feeling it.

On the other hand, if you are feeling it, and you are still using it from a surface structure, “tool” level, it will work.

But not because of the surface level stuff, but because of the underlying energy.

But you can also be romantic without needing any of the surface level stuff.

Plenty of movie show this pretty well.

The romantic idea is delivered as an act, especially one that demonstrates a “knowing” of what’s important to the target.

The romantic “act” demonstrated to the target that the actor recognized and remembered something important to the target.

And they recognized it, appreciated it, and remembered it.

Anybody can buy flowers and chocolates.

That’s why they will never work if they aren’t really “honest.”

What WILL work is if you see something about your love interest that is unique to them.

Something unique they shared.

Something that you recognized as important to them.

It could be their secret dreams for the future.

Or it could be some weird preference they have for pizza topping.

But when you DEMONSTRATE this knowledge, it speaks volumes.

Your ACTION (never, ever your words) say:

I see you. I appreciate you. I get you. I like you. I remember you.

This is free, this is relatively easy, and it absolutely CANNOT be faked.

And the more of these “golden nuggets” of “information” you have about your target, the more powerful their sporadic and unexpected delivery will be.

You won’t need to spend a nickel and he or she will think you’re the most romantic person on Earth.

Learn How:

Love Hypnosis

Love

How To Find Treasure Everywhere

Way back in the early days of human exploration, they didn’t really have an idea of where they were going.

All they knew that if they kept going across the vast ocean, they might find some riches.

The TV show “Vikings” started with them sailing toward what they hoped was England.

They had to do it in secret, since their current ruler didn’t believe there was anything there worth getting.

Way way back in the early days of humans, they were nomads.

Wandering.

All they knew is that maybe over the next set of hills would be some better and safer places to hunt.

In some respects, we are incredibly lucky to be alive.

We’ve got all kinds of technology, medicine, entertainment, etc.

But in other respects, it might be the worst time to be alive.

Too late to explore the world, but too early to explore the galaxy.

Of course, there are a lot of ways you can go exploring.

You don’t have to pack a bag and wander the Earth like that dude from Pulp Fiction wanted to do.

Sometimes getting to know another person is a lot like exploring.

Or meeting new people.

Just like those early sailors setting out across the vast seas, you might get nothing.

But you might find treasure.

And if you can find treasure in somebody else, who equally is finding treasure in you, that’s a pretty good place to be.

Most people do this haphazardly.

Much like they early explorers.

They kept going in a certain direction and hoped for the best.

Sometimes that works.

But it feels like you are at the mercy of the gods.

You can, however, accelerate the process.

Because while most people are haphazardly looking for treasure, you can build it.

Build it in the mind’s of others when they think of you.

Which will elicit their own unique treasure as a response.

That way you can significantly increase your chances.

Or you can just decide to find treasure everywhere.

Get Started:

Love Hypnosis

Know What You Want?

The Carne Asada Nachos Pattern

I love eating.

But since I ain’t no spring chicken, I can’t eat as much as I used to.

When I was in high school, I could eat anything and everything.

I ran cross country and I wrestled, so not only did I have the magical metabolism of youth, but I exercised quite a bit.

But today, I need to be careful about what I eat.

Usually.

Because you HAVE to have cheating days.

And I like to plan my cheating days.

Think about what to buy, what to cook, what to watch on TV when I enjoy my cheating days.

Planning pleasurable activities is something we humans love.

They say that the only two tragedies of life are achieving your goals, and not achieving your goals.

What the heck does this mean?

If neither one of those is true, (not achieving a goal or achieving it) it implies you are ON THE WAY to some goal.

And that is a pretty good place to be.

When you look forward to something.

Even if it’s something silly like a heaping plate of Carne Asada Nachos and your favorite episode of The Sopranos.

The idea of something GOOD in your future is wonderful.

Since we humans can NEVER predict the future, when we have something good coming, it’s mixed with uncertainty.

But it’s the BEST kind of uncertainty.

When you’re uncertain exactly HOW you’ll enjoy something.

Or exactly HOW that enjoyable thing will evolve.

Or exactly WHEN that enjoyable thing will happen.

This is why pretty much everybody agrees that the Road (the way to the enjoyable thing) is better than the Inn (the actual pleasurable thing).

This is what has inspired humankind since we climbed down out of the trees and realized there was more to life than bananas.

What’s even better is you can give somebody else the gift of looking forward to something fantastic.

By making YOURSELF that fantastic thing.

How you interact with them when you’re around, and how you give them the gift of missing you when you’re not.

By understanding the process, you can create the most wonderful feeling we humans can ever feel.

At will.

Learn How:

Love Hypnosis

The Waiting Is The Hardest

Avoid Cannibal Shortcuts

Most everybody would like to know the “secret” to success.

Even the movie, “The Secret,” capitalized on our common desire for hidden knowledge.

The idea is that if we find that allegedly secret “idea” that other people know, but are keeping to themselves, then we’ll get what they get.

This is not a new idea.

One description of human history is the long story of us humans doing everything we can to make things safer, and easier.

It’s as if we have a constantly running program in the back of our minds that is ALWAYS saying, “There’s got to be an easier way of doing this…”

After all, every single invention has been made to make things easier.

Even doctors back in the old days, when operating on fallen soldiers, (while the poor dude was screaming his brains out) was thinking that.

“Damn, there’s got to be a better way to cut people open, fix them, and sew them back up….”

So the idea about a “secret” way of doing things is very normal.

Sure, some “shortcuts” may take you through a forest where you end up getting eaten by cannibals, but other shortcuts actually work.

And work well.

But sometimes, the “secret” is not what we DO, but what we STOP doing.

Humans are equally curious because we keep doing things, just because we did them before.

Even when they make zero sense today.

Many religions have these ideas built in.

Things that were actually dangerous back in the day, but they keep doing for their significance, not because of the danger.

What’s really difficult is when we KNOW what NOT to do, but we do it anyway.

This is VERY common in the beginning stages of relationships.

You like somebody, you aren’t sure if they like you.

You are DESPERATE to tell them how you feel.

Unfortunately, doing this almost GUARNATEES you’ll ruin everything before it starts.

Why?

Because love is an inside game.

It happens when would-be lovers are apart, and thinking about each other.

And crucially, when they are thinking about each other and are UNCERTAIN how the other feels about them.

As soon as they KNOW you love them and will do anything for them, it kind of kills the mystery, the suspense, and the romance.

That’s why in the beginning, what you DON’T DO is just as important was what you DO.

Luckily, there is a very helpful strategy to go by.

So you aren’t guessing.

You’re building.

Learn How:

Love Hypnosis

How To Become Attractive

Why Opposite Usually Works

There are a lot of metaphors about doing the opposite of what you think you should do.

A poem by Rumi, the ancient Sufi poet, wrote about how when we “think” we’re walking into the water, we’re really walking into the fire, and vice versa.

If you’ve ever had a crush on somebody and your instincts told you to tell them EVERYTHING, certain that would get them to reciprocate your feelings, you probably found it had the opposite effect.

There’s that old saying that “what we resist persists.” The more we try to avoid something, the more we seem to make it come true.

What feels good in the short term (like eating cheeseburgers and playing video games) usually plays havoc on out long term success.

Even in Star Wars, Obi Won told Luke to “let go and surrender to the force” because he was trying to hard.

This idea shows up in movies, philosophy and everywhere in between.

There was even one episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza did everything the “opposite way” and it worked like a charm.

(Of course, since it was a comedy, he’d do things like walk up to gorgeous women several inches taller than him, tell them he was unemployed and lived with is parents, and they’d fall madly in love with him.)

How can we apply this to real life?

One way is how we get our ideas across to others.

We think if we say the magic words or become super persuasive with our ideas (backed by our pictures in our mind) we’ll somehow override the pictures and ideas in the minds of others.

But if they are doing the same thing (which most everybody is) then it turns into an “idea contest.” Or a “who can describe their ideas the best” contest.

The interesting thing is our ideas are pretty vague. Ours and everybody else’s.

Which means if you ditch your ideas (just for a little bit) and expand THEIR ideas, something pretty cool will happen.

One is they’ve likely never had anybody do this before.

Two is that the bigger their ideas (wants needs and desires) get, the “stickier” they’ll get.

Meaning they’ll start to see EVERYTHING (including you) through their newly expanded wants, needs and desires.

If you look at everything through a blue filter, everything will look blue.

If they look at everything through their wants, needs, and desires, they’ll see that as well.

It’s not intuitive, it’s certainly opposite, but it works like crazy.

Click Here To Learn More

Don't Listen To This Guy!

Switch Your Girl Getting Mindset

It’s easy for guys to fall into the “soul mate” trap.

If you don’t have a lot of experience with women, any attention that any one can give you may seem like a life changing event.

But when you understand that women don’t really like a guy (on a subconscious level) that makes himself too available, it’s easy to see why this isn’t such a good strategy.

From a guy’s perspective it works like this.

He interacts with a girl, and she gives him some positive signals. Maybe even some sex.

And because the guy doesn’t have a lot of experience with girls, his inner caveman brain wants him to hang on for dear life.

Because he doesn’t have much sexual history, and sex feels so fantastic, every part of him is screaming at him to hang on at all costs.

This presents itself, through his behavior, of being needy and always available.

This, of course, KILLS any attraction the girl has for him.

Now, you could “pretend” to not be needy, only text her once every couple days, etc.

But if you have little experience with women, this is nearly impossible.

What’s the solution?

Start talking to girls (all girls, not just ones you’re interested in) AS OFTEN as you can.

This will build up your experience with women.

So when you DO meet a girl who is into you, you won’t have that “needy” or “desperate” response.

Because you’ll have the experience that GIRLS ARE EVERYWHERE. And ONE of them is not really THAT important.

Not only will this attitude and believe make it less likely to mess up with girls that are into you, but it will make you MORE ATTRACTIVE to most girls.

Which will give you a MUCH BETTER problem to have.

When you switch from the unhelpful, “I-hope-I-don’t-lose-her” thinking to the MUCH more helpful, “hmm, which one should I choose?”

Click Here To Learn How

Get Massive Confidence

Massive Confidence Drills

Here’s a goofy experiment to try.

Cold approach a bunch of girls, but specifically DON’T ask for their number.

Meaning walk up, say an obviously cheesy line, but DO NOT number close.

Just talk to her enough to get her smiling, and then split.

She’ll give you a priceless look.

Because she’s likely never experienced this before.

Most guys walk up to her, a little nervous, and ALWAYS with the intention of getting her number.

So when you purposely DON’T ask for her number, she won’t really know what’s going on.

Sure, the first couple of times it may feel kind of strange.

But after you see the look on her face, it will feel pretty cool.

It’s a very SUBTLE (and it HAS to be subtle) way of saying, “I’m confident enough to talk to you, make you smile, but I’ve got more important things than beg you for attention.”

If you keep a playful attitude, she’ll wonder what the heck is going on.

Do this enough, and you’ll build up MASSIVE confidence.

World class athletes are world class because they practice A LOT.

World class ANYBODY is world class because they practice a lot.

So see these as approach drills. Since you’re NOT EVER going to ask for ANYBODY’S number (nor give yours when she asks) there’s no chance of rejection.

These drills will build up MASSIVE confidence.

The kind of confidence that pulls high quality women out of the woodwork.

All eager to meet you.

Click Here To Learn More

Desperation Is Not Attractive

Why You Should Never Chase

Most humans would love to have a simple, step by step solution to pretty much anything.

Like “what do I say to her to make her like me?”

Just imagine if there really WAS a “magic sentence” you could say to a girl (any girl) that would make her “like you.”

You’d say it, and she’d like you. But then somebody else would say it to her, and she’d like him.

In reality, there IS a simple way to make a LOT of girls like you.

And that is to differentiate yourself from every other lazy guy out there looking for magic tricks.

How do you do that?

Express your interest in her, but not in a needy way.

Always have something cooking that is MORE IMPORTANT than her.

Give her the pleasure of missing you, so she can use her imagination to conjure up romantic images of you.

This, however, is VERY HARD to fake.

If you’ve ever liked a girl more than she likes you, you know what I mean.

Every time she texts you, you go crazy trying to think of the right thing and the right time and the right frequency.

Luckily, if you take the time to CREATE SOMETHING that really WILL be more important than her, this will happen naturally.

Think of it this way, if you CHASE her, she’ll run away.

This will only work for a little bit, until it loses its charm. Women have been more or less following men for most of human history.

On the other hand if you CHASE your life, she’ll CHASE you.

Which means you need to figure out WHAT you will chase for your life.

And think of the girls as the added benefit.

Click Here To Learn More