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How To Unleash Your Powerful Potential

Why You Should Study NLP

Have you ever been window-shopping, and maybe decided to venture into a store to get a better look, and one thing led to another and you ended up buying something that you hadn’t set out to buy that day? Or maybe you were kind of in the market for something, like maybe a TV or something, and weren’t quite ready to make a purchase, but you came across a salesperson that somehow seemed to make buying a TV that day the most obvious choice in the world?

We’ve all had the experience of being hounded by a salesperson that just wouldn’t take no for an answer, and know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of hard sell after hard sell. You know a salesperson is desperate for a sale when they relentlessly follow you around despite your clear indications for them to take a hike.

So what’s the difference? Why does on salesperson seem to be helpful, and when you do make the decision to buy something, you feel grateful and want to tell your friends about him or her, while other sales people, they just emit an aura of desperation that triggers every single one of your warning signals?

Or more importantly, if you are trying to persuade somebody, whether it is in direct sales, marketing, or other form of persuasion, how do you be the first salesperson and not the second one?

Most people will tell you that being able to sell things is a natural gift that you either have it, or you don’t. Like a guy being a “natural” with women, wherever he goes, women follow. And no matter how hard you try to emulate him, you just can’t figure it out.

Part of the problem with so-called “naturals” is that they themselves have no idea how they do what they do. Unless they’ve gained their skills through long concentrated practice, they likely have no clue what makes them such a persuasive and charismatic salesperson. And unfortunately, many books on sales are written by these “naturals” and aren’t all that helpful, as they don’t really know how to describe what they are doing in a way that makes it easily repeatable by others.

They may say things like “respect the client,” “develop rapport,” “be sincere,” but these are particularly vague. How exactly do you “respect the client?” What is the best way to “develop rapport?” if you ask ten different successful salespeople these questions, you’ll likely get ten very different answers, which will likely be just as vague and unhelpful.

Enter NLP.

NLP, or neurolinguistic programming was developed as a powerful modeling tool to figure out exactly what these “naturals” were doing that made them “naturals.” It all started with therapists. Most people, when they think of therapy, they imagine going to a shrink every week for many years, and talking endlessly about childhood problems and parental issues (like Tony Soprano). But when NLP was first developed, they studied a few therapists that could “fix” people in just a few sessions.

Somebody would have this deep emotional problem, they’d go see one of these “naturals” and in a couple of weeks, through three or four sessions, their problem would be completely obliterated. And these weren’t your basic problems like not being able to smile at a pretty girl, or ask your boss for a raise. These were deep emotional problems that had to do with sexual abuse, alcoholism, and other serious relationship issues.

So how did they do it? The interesting thing is when one of the co-founders of NLP, Richard Bandler, showed one of these therapists her specific language patterns, she was surprised. She herself didn’t even know that was how she was doing it. Bandler basically showed her that she was using the same language structure over and over again with her clients, and it was creating magical results. Much better than that stereotypical image of a useless psychiatrist who just sits there and says, “how do you feel about that? What do you think that means?” over and over again.

Through the creation of NLP, people were suddenly able to model excellence in human behavior and human communication. By asking the right questions, and paying attention to the specifics of the communication structure, they were able to figure out exactly how those “naturals” were doing what they were doing.

And a major part of their “natural” abilities was a strong belief about their capabilities. This went far beyond affirmations in the mirror every morning. This was a deep, powerful subconscious belief that they totally capable of doing what they were setting out to do, whether it be curing a child of his bedwetting, or selling a fifty thousand dollar car to somebody who was merely “looking around.”

There were subsequently several method and procedures developed in NLP to install these beliefs in people, or for people to install them in themselves. It became possible to become a natural without experiencing the random childhood that produced a natural salesperson or therapist. As Richard Bandler put it, with NLP, it’s never too late to have a happy childhood.

There is a huge amount of free NLP information available on the web, and there are several great sources of self study NLP courses, as well as NLP based self development products. With NLP, there really isn’t any reason why you can’t be a natural in your chosen field.

One powerful program that many people have been having massive results with is success with NLP. If you check out this website, you’ll find that this is just one of the many programs that uses NLP to help you become successful in any field you choose.

Success with NLP

Success with NLP

One thing about studying NLP is that it is by no means a “quick fix.” Many of our beliefs that we’ve been carrying around for a while can take some effort to re engineer, but once you do, you’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish in life. Take a look at success with NLP and see for yourself.

Many people discover that once they start down the path of self-development with NLP, they realize that the sky really is the limit, and studying and mastering NLP becomes an obviously essential skill of life.

Sales And Seduction Tips From Milton Erickson

What The Creator of Conversational Hypnosis Can Teach us About Sales And Seduction

Every time you open your mouth, you have an intention. Whether this intention is conscious or not, planned or not, automatic or not, realized by you or not, this intention is there. Perhaps if somebody asks you the time, your intention is to behave in a socially appropriate manner without drawing undue attention to yourself.

If a homeless person walks up to you and asks for change, your intention is likely to end the uncomfortable conversation as quickly and painlessly as possible. For some this means to ignore him. For some it means giving him a dollar. For some it means an automatic physical altercation. As politically incorrect as it sounds, unless you set out specifically to volunteer in a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter, most people feel uncomfortable (for many, many different reasons) when approached by a homeless person asking for change.

If you are a guy, and you approach an attractive girl in a bar, your intention is likely to get her to like you, and perhaps more.

Most of these intentions are extremely vague, and largely unconscious. Very rarely do we stop and plan an outcome when somebody stops us on the street to ask us for directions or the time. Even though our response is automatic, we are trying to achieve an outcome of maintaining safety. Our automatic responses are largely based on protection, or defense.

Even the guy approaching the girl in the bar, although he has a somewhat conscious intention of getting her to like him, he is still likely operating from a frame of protection at the same time. He would love to be able to walk up to her, be as open and expressive as possible, make her laugh, show her his stunning personality and conversation skills. However, most of us guys are terrified of the public shame that the rejection of our advances would bring. So we hedge our bets, so to speak. We engage, but protect at the same time. This can prove extremely difficult.

The same goes with salespeople. Rejection can be awfully painful, even for the most seasoned veterans. Many times they approach the prospect with the same mindset of the guy approaching the girl in the bar. They’d love to proclaim how wonderful their product is, and clearly suggest that the prospect buy the product, but many are afraid to do so. One main weakness of almost anybody who has even been in sales is an inability to simply ask for the sale.

Most sales people beat around the bush, hoping the prospect will come to the conclusion on their own to buy the product. This rarely works. As most prospects usually need a nudge in the right direction.

However, there is another way. Actually a couple of other ways. Well, actually, lots of other ways, but I will only talk briefly about two of them. These were all “invented” by Milton Erickson, the father of conversational hypnosis. He came up with all kinds of powerfully persuasive conversation tools to help people overcome large life issues in a relatively short amount of time.

These two are very powerful ones that you can go out and use today, in a bar, with a girl, or with a prospect, or with your friends.

One is an indirect way of asking for the sale. This requires you be pretty good at reading body language, and facial expressions. The way you do this is to use what’s called an embedded question. Whenever you present a question to somebody, they will answer it, either verbally or not. But when you embed it in a sentence, then they don’t feel the pressure to answer it openly. But their body language and facial expression will give them away. Here’s how:

Say you are selling cars. You’ve been on the test drive, and your back in the office with the customer. They are still there, and they’ve been paying attention to you so far. You haven’t started talking about actual finances yet. You are still discussing whether or not they liked the car. You can say:

“Well, I don’t know whether or not you want to buy this car today, but before we talk about any kind of financial issues, let me talk to you about the extended warranty.”

Watch closely as you say the “buy the car today” part. If they seem like they are about to have a heart attack, you should probably hold off on asking them to sign a contract. If they seem to show any positive response at all, you’re in pretty good shape.

Same goes with the girl in the bar. You could say:

“I know we’ve been only talking for twenty minutes, and I don’t know if you feel comfortable giving your phone number to a guy you just met, but I think it’s important to be open when meeting new people. You never know when you are going to find somebody that could turn into a lifelong friend.”

Again, pay attention to how she responds when you say, “giving your phone number.” If she briefly lights up like a Christmas tree, she’s been dying for you to ask, and she’s into you. Proceed, and get her number. If she steps back and puts her hand protectively over her throat, you should politely excuse yourself.

That’s the “embedded question” method, and can be very powerful in testing how you are doing.

The other way is a bit more aggressive, and can be used by itself, or after you’ve successfully tested for a close. This trick is called the double bind. It involves giving them the illusion of a choice, when in actuality, both choices are the same thing.

For example, with the car example, you could say (as you pull out the contract):

“So were you going to use your current car as a trade in, or did you just want to make a down payment?” Either way they answer, it presupposes they are going to buy the car. This is, of course tough to do on a big-ticket item like a car. It can work better with smaller issues. You can use this for every part of the sales process, when you want to escalate to the next level.

“So did you want to test drive a blue one, or a red one?”
“So were you going to finance through us, or your own bank?”
“Would you rather test drive before or after we talk about financing?”

This works really well with phone sales when setting up appointments:

“I am going to be in your neighborhood next week, would Tuesday at 4:00 PM be OK, or is Thursday at 6:30 better?”

And you can also use it on the girl whose number you got:

“Say this is George from the other night, we talked at Flankies. I enjoyed our conversation, and I’d like to see you again, for a cup of coffee. Which is easier for you, Tuesday evening at 8:00, or Thursday at 9:30?”

You can use both of these together for a powerful increase in your closing percentage. Test their “buying temperature” with the embedded question, and then “close” them with the double bind. You’ll be amazed at your results.

She Likes Me…

“I just can’t do it.”
“Nope. Can’t do it.”
“Why not?”
“She doesn’t like me.”
“How do you know?”
“What do I mean how do I know? I said ‘hi’ and she totally ignored me.”
“Uh huh. So when you said ‘hi,’ and she doesn’t respond, that means she doesn’t like you?”
“Hmm. So, in general then, when you see somebody you like, and you say ‘hi,’ and they don’t say ‘hi’ back, that means they don’t like you, right?”
“Yep. Exactly right.”
“Hmm. How does that happen?”
“Huh? How does what happen?”
“I mean does she not like you before you say ‘hi,’ or does she not like you because you say ‘hi,’ or does she have to evaluate your ‘hi’ for split second before she decides she doesn’t you? Or is she one of those super genius people who can decide she doesn’t like you while you are saying ‘hi?'”
“Dude, I’m not sure…”
“Wait, I’m not finished. And how long do you wait for a response before you decide that she doesn’ t like you?”
“No, seriously. Do you wait three seconds, or 2.5 seconds, I mean how do you know exactly when to make the decision that she doesn’t like you?”
“Dude, we went through this already. I just know.”
“How do you know that you know? Is it a feeling, a voice in your head?”
“Dude, are you making fun of me?”
“No, no, not at all. I am just curious about your thought process. I mean, if I were you, and I wanted to think the same way you do, and I wanted to feel the same way you feel, how exactly would I go about doing it?”
“I don’t know. I just say ‘hi,’ she doesn’t say ‘hi’ back, and she doesn’t like me.”
“Do you have to be in the same room?”
“I mean, if you saw her through a telescope, and said ‘hi,’ and she didn’t say ‘hi’ back, does that also mean she doesn’t like you?”
“Of course not. She has to hear me.”
“So if she didn’t say anything back, how do you know she heard you this time?”
“Because I was right next to her.”
“Could she have thought you were saying ‘hi’ to somebody else?”
“Dude, I don’t know, maybe. But that was still rude.”
“What was rude?”
“To not say ‘hi’ back to somebody that says ‘hi’ to you.”
“Even though she thought you were speaking to somebody else?”
“She could have reasonably assumed I was speaking to her.”
“What if she is just really shy? What if she really likes you, I mean really likes you, and when you said ‘hi,’ she got really flustered and just couldn’t speak for a moment or two?”
“Dude, I really don’t think…”
“Would you at least consider the possibility?”
“Ok, ok, maybe she is shy.”
“And do you usually only give shy girls one shot? Is that the kind of guy you are? If you say ‘hi,’ and she is too shy to say ‘hi’ back to you, you blow her off and move on to the next girl, right? Is that how you operate?”
“Dude, not at all!”
“So you are a nice guy?”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Dude, we’ve been friends for a long time, you know I’m not like that.”
“So prove it.”
“Prove it how?’
“Go give that poor girl another chance.”
“Ok, ok, ok. Jeez.”


Economic Meltdown?

Or reality meltdown? What exactly is the “Economy” anyways? I suspect that definition number two(c) from is most appropriate: “The system or range of economic activity in a country, region, or community.” Of course that doesn’t help much, since it is using a variant of one word to define another. The “Economy” is the range of “Economic Activity.”  But since it is the best one presented, lets go with that. What is economic activity? I suggest that anytime money is spent, we can call that “economic activity.” So “The Economy” with respect to any community, region, or country, would seem to be all the money spent for all purposes by all people in that particular group. Who spends money? Who doesn’t, right?  People that have money spend money.  People that don’t have money spend money. Money is an interesting concept when you really take time to think about it. 

Where does money come from? Think of the last ten or twenty dollars you spent.  Where did you get it? Before your wallet, or the ATM. From your job? Where did they get it? From the person that bought whatever it is that your job makes? And where did it come from before that, from THAT person’s job.  And on and on.

From the smallest trinket you buy without the slightest thought to the billion dollar contracts won by huge defense companies, all the money comes from the same place.


Your friends, your neighbors, people just like you, make up the economy. It is not something “out there” a danger that you must hide from like a rampaging elephant at a circus gone wrong.  You are part of it. Your spending habits, for better or for worse, contribute to it. If everyone gives in to fear, and doesn’t go out and spend money, guess what will happen? I’m sure that you can understand.  People don’t buy new cars, and car companies don’t make as much money as they planned, so they have to lay people off. And those people don’t spend their money. And with less people working, the government gets less taxes, which means it will be more difficult for them to help people out.

So what’s the answer? Run out spending money like a madman when everybody is wisely being more frugal? No. While that might feel good for a short time, it wouldn’t likely be an effective long term strategy to make things better. Of course we need to be sensible. We need to make sure we protect ourselvesfirst and foremost.  But just as it would be foolish to spend money like there is no tomorrow, many experts believe that it would be equally as foolish to expect some external organization (like the government) to fix something that we erroneously perceive as “out there.”  Because you can easily understand this, you can realize that as we are part of the economy, we are part of the problem, but more importantly, we are all part of the solution.  And the simplest step you can take is to take responsibility.  We got into this mess by buying things that we couldn’t afford. All of us. That doesn’t mean you should be afraid to spend money. If you can afford something, and you want it or need it, by all means. Buy it. Enjoy it. Share it with others.  Don’t let some imaginary evil monster “out there” scare you. You are smarter than that. You are more experienced than that. 

The biggest danger in thinking there is something “out there” that can be fixed by people “out there” is that you give all your power away.   Don’t let them take it. Keep it for yourself. Because when you realize that you have everything you need, and that money is just a reflection of your skills and ability to contribute, you can’t help but to succeed.