She Likes Me…

“I just can’t do it.”
“Nope. Can’t do it.”
“Why not?”
“She doesn’t like me.”
“How do you know?”
“What do I mean how do I know? I said ‘hi’ and she totally ignored me.”
“Uh huh. So when you said ‘hi,’ and she doesn’t respond, that means she doesn’t like you?”
“Hmm. So, in general then, when you see somebody you like, and you say ‘hi,’ and they don’t say ‘hi’ back, that means they don’t like you, right?”
“Yep. Exactly right.”
“Hmm. How does that happen?”
“Huh? How does what happen?”
“I mean does she not like you before you say ‘hi,’ or does she not like you because you say ‘hi,’ or does she have to evaluate your ‘hi’ for split second before she decides she doesn’t you? Or is she one of those super genius people who can decide she doesn’t like you while you are saying ‘hi?'”
“Dude, I’m not sure…”
“Wait, I’m not finished. And how long do you wait for a response before you decide that she doesn’ t like you?”
“No, seriously. Do you wait three seconds, or 2.5 seconds, I mean how do you know exactly when to make the decision that she doesn’t like you?”
“Dude, we went through this already. I just know.”
“How do you know that you know? Is it a feeling, a voice in your head?”
“Dude, are you making fun of me?”
“No, no, not at all. I am just curious about your thought process. I mean, if I were you, and I wanted to think the same way you do, and I wanted to feel the same way you feel, how exactly would I go about doing it?”
“I don’t know. I just say ‘hi,’ she doesn’t say ‘hi’ back, and she doesn’t like me.”
“Do you have to be in the same room?”
“I mean, if you saw her through a telescope, and said ‘hi,’ and she didn’t say ‘hi’ back, does that also mean she doesn’t like you?”
“Of course not. She has to hear me.”
“So if she didn’t say anything back, how do you know she heard you this time?”
“Because I was right next to her.”
“Could she have thought you were saying ‘hi’ to somebody else?”
“Dude, I don’t know, maybe. But that was still rude.”
“What was rude?”
“To not say ‘hi’ back to somebody that says ‘hi’ to you.”
“Even though she thought you were speaking to somebody else?”
“She could have reasonably assumed I was speaking to her.”
“What if she is just really shy? What if she really likes you, I mean really likes you, and when you said ‘hi,’ she got really flustered and just couldn’t speak for a moment or two?”
“Dude, I really don’t think…”
“Would you at least consider the possibility?”
“Ok, ok, maybe she is shy.”
“And do you usually only give shy girls one shot? Is that the kind of guy you are? If you say ‘hi,’ and she is too shy to say ‘hi’ back to you, you blow her off and move on to the next girl, right? Is that how you operate?”
“Dude, not at all!”
“So you are a nice guy?”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Dude, we’ve been friends for a long time, you know I’m not like that.”
“So prove it.”
“Prove it how?’
“Go give that poor girl another chance.”
“Ok, ok, ok. Jeez.”