Tag Archives: Relationships

What What What?

Re-Calibrate Your Guidance System

A common metaphor for human goals is a guided missile.

A missile that is programmed toward it’s target, and it is constantly adjusting.

Because of wind, temperature, etc.

The idea is that every millisecond the missile is measuring it’s trajectory and continually updating how it “steers” itself.

How does this translate to human behavior, or goals?

One way is how we learn things.

Think of a little kid learning to walk.

His or her objective is to walk around on two legs, like all the other people.

They try and fail.

Each time they fail, they get valuable feedback.

More memory on how to balance.

What works, and what doesn’t.

Since they are similarly programmed to keep at it (and enjoy the process) eventually they master the process of “walking” and it becomes a totally unconscious process.

Of course, when we get older, we tend to lose this ability.

They say we are all geniuses when we are born, but we are “de-geniused” by the time we get out of school.

One way to look at the educational system is a “de-genusing” system.

(Interestingly, one trait of Einstein as a college student is he NEVER went to class…)

What if there were a way to recalibrate our natural learner?

To reawaken our inner guidance system so we could learn ANY skill, just as easily and enjoyable as we learned to walk?

How could this be possible?

We’ve only had the internet for a few decades.

TV for about 70 years.

Electricity only for a couple hundred.

In the realm of human instincts, that’s WAY too fast for our instincts to keep up.

And guess what?

That natural guidance system is based on our instincts.

NOT our conscious brains.

But we can USE our conscious brains to RE-CALIBRATE those instincts.

So our “natural guidance system” is back “on line.”

So we can learn ANYTHING as easily as learning to walk.

Social skills.

Relationships skills.

Even financial skills.

Learn How:

Ego Taming

Love Baby

Don’t Wait 1000 Years

If you look at a piece of corn from a thousand years ago, it looks totally different.

Corn was sort of genetically modified over the centuries.

In each given piece of corn, you have plenty of the seeds.

Depending on which pieces they chose when they (the ancient proto-farmers) picked it, and carried it back, different seeds fell off.

Dudes would go out to get some corn, and they would naturally pick the biggest ones.

Then as they walked back, the seeds from those biggest ones would drop off.

The net result was that after a thousand years or so, they corn became bigger and bigger.

They were unconsciously (collectively) re-planting only the corn with the biggest seeds.

Now, do we say that the corn 1000 years later is “genetically engineered?”

It happened unconsciously, but it’s the same process they use when they “selectively breed” racehorses and show dogs.

Of course, when the proto-farmers did it, they didn’t know what they were doing.

The corn, and all other plants with flowers and seeds, takes whatever it can get.

Flowers don’t really care that bees are getting free nectar.

And the bees don’t really care that they are cross pollinating the flowers.

It just works out that way.

But with modern science, we can understand how those work.

Using bees to commercially pollinate huge farms is a big business.

So is using science to make better food.

Of course, they can go too far.

Using sketching techniques at the molecular love to “genetically modify” the food.

But the fact remains, there are plenty of things which happen naturally and organically, but can be understood scientifically.

You can go hiking in the wilderness and find some beautiful flowers.

They grow naturally and organically.

But you can come back, find those same flowers, and plant them in your own garden.

With scientific precision and accuracy.

The net result is the same.

Even though the flowers you “created” were done so with precision and forethought, the net result is just as beautiful.

Just as emotionally pleasing.

Many things are like this.

They can happen organically, or they can be scientifically engineered with forethought and precision.

Learn How:

Love Hypnosis

Only She Knows What's Really Up

Are They Stealing Your Future?

There’s a somewhat common scene in comedies.

Often it’s when one guy is trying to poison another guy.

The guy suspects he’s being poisoned, and switches glasses.

But then he wonders if the other guy knew he would do that, and put the poison in his own glass.

So the guy switches back.

But then he wonders if the other guy anticipated THAT as well, and switches them back again.

There are other ways of presenting this slapstick style comedy.

Out-anticipating the other guy who is also trying to out-out-anticipate the first guy.

I know you know, but do you know that I know you know I know?

Despite how goofy this over-used routine is, most people rarely plan ahead.

And unfortunately, the powers that be like it that way.

Politicians and advertisers don’t like it when we are capable of thinking into the future and making rational choices.

Often times short term choices will add up to long term detriments.

But if we carefully plan our short term choices, so they add up to long term benefits, we can live longer, happier, more resourceful lives.

However, if we choose wisely, instead of impulsively, idiot politicians won’t get our votes and manipulative advertisers won’t get our money.

Here’s an interesting mind experiment to do next time you are shopping.

Imagine two ways of buying stuff.

One way is you’re carrying around your life savings in cash.

And not just cash, but silver. Like in the old westerns.

And every time you decided to buy something, you could physically feel your life savings get a little bit lighter.

The second way is the way we commonly buy stuff.

Even when paying with cash, it doesn’t feel like it.

Everything’s direct deposited and debited.

But if you actually felt your savings decrease by spending silver, you might think twice before deciding to buy something.

Of course, it feels good to buy stuff.

Especially when the cost is minimized. Swiping a plastic card and then getting a real thing, especially when a cute sales clerk smiles and says, “Thanks!” is a good feeling.

But whatever choices you DO make, they add up.

The billion dollar question is WHO are they adding up for?

Your benefit, or somebody else’s?

Fortunately, making tiny shifts in your daily behaviors WILL add up to a MASSIVE future.

Paradoxically, to create a big future with healthy happy relationships, you don’t need to do extraordinary things.

Just do very simple, very small things.

Do them every day.

And slowly take back your future.

Get Started:

Seven Disciplines

Super Genius Of All Time

The Sentence Shift That Made Millions

Most people know about the Pareto Principle, or the 80-20 rule.

Eighty percent of the “work” of any system is done by twenty percent of the system.

Twenty percent of your clothes you wear eighty percent of the time.

Publishers make eighty percent of their revenues from twenty percent of their books.

Twenty percent of sales people in any company make eighty percent of the sales.

Most of the time, this just happens naturally.

When you bought one of your twenty percent shirts, you probably felt the same as when you bought one of your eighty percent shirts.

“Hey, this looks cool!”

But one of them ended up in the 20-80, while the other ended in the 80-20.

Same with a lot of sales jobs.

They just hire people, and figure they’ll sort themselves out.

And when it comes to sales, some people are naturally “good” and some people are naturally “not so good.”

But if you start to understand human nature, human thinking, etc., you can EASILY catapult yourself into the top twenty.

Or the top twenty of the top twenty.

Because IN that top twenty, the Pareto Principle still applies.

Mathematically, it means that 4% of any given system is doing more than 60% of the work.

4% is twenty percent of twenty percent. 60% (or 64% to be specific) is eighty percent of eighty.

How do you do that?

Here’s a very famous case.

A company was selling things on TV.

This was way back before the Internet, or even cell phones.

But despite how well the product tested out in pre-release marketing, it was a dud on TV.

So they called in a Fixer.

A lady who was an expert in selling anything to anybody.

She looked at the entire system, the product, the commercial, all the people, even what they were wearing.

And she only made ONE small change.

And the sales went from ZERO to THROUGH THE ROOF.

What was the change?

The final call to action was, “Call now, operators are standing by!”

But what this did was create an image of a bunch of operators sitting around waiting for customers.

Not very enticing!

She (the super genius marketing lady) changed that one sentence to:

“Call now! If operators are busy, please be patient!”

This created a MUCH DIFFERENT image in the TV viewers mind.

It fired both scarcity AND social proof.

Social proof because it implied that tons of people were calling. That’s why the operators would be busy.

But scarcity also because if other people are calling, and you wait too long, by the time you call, they might run out of stuff!

(FOMO, or fear of missing out, is based on scarcity).

One small tweak made the company TONS of money.

How many tweaks can you make?

Learn How:

Seven Laws

The Seduction Brain Has Been Discovered

Are You Making This HUGE Mistake?

Most guys act like little kids around girl’s they’re attracted to.

Which is kind of gross, in a Freudian sense.

What do little kids do around their moms?

They do something “good” and mom gives them a “reward.”

In fact, most PEOPLE live their lives like that.

They believe that the world is based on some magical “reward system.”

Like if you work “hard” you SHOULD get paid.

Unfortunately, the basic laws of economics say you’ll only get paid if your work is VALUABLE according to somebody else.

Namely, the guy who’s paying you.

You can fill your backpack with rocks, go outside and jump up and down all day trying to fly.

It sure is hard, but NOBODY is going to pay you for that.

(Unless you’re looking goofy on purpose in hopes of getting viral YouTube fame).

Girls are the same way.

They don’t “reward” guys for saying the “right thing.”

They ACT a certain way if they FEEL the right emotions.

So your job, as a man, is to get her FEELING those emotions.

You can’t ASK SOMEBODY to feel those emotions any more than you can ASK SOMEBODY to get hungry for a certain type of food.

However, you CAN make the right kind of food, at the right time, so they will GET HUNGRY as a natural response.

Similarly, you can behave and communicate around a girl in the right way, that will SUBCONSCIOUSLY entice her to FEEL those feelings.

The feelings that will make her WANT to be with you for HER reasons.

NOT yours.

The paradox is the MORE she suspects you are trying to make her feel those feelings, the LESS LIKELY she’ll feel them.

So you have to VERY SUBTLE.

What do most guys do?

They spit out a couple of lines, waiting for a “reward” just like when mommy gave them a cookie.

Don’t do that!

What should you do instead?

Speak to her in a very specific way that will get her feeling those wonderful emotions that will make her WANT to do those wonderful things WITH YOU.

For HER reasons, not yours.

They can NEVER be yours.

Luckily, if you obey the first rule of “Fight Club” (NEVER talk about Fight Club) that will be easy.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Seduction

Healing Energy

What Is The Meaning Of You?

What does “meaning” mean?

It’s a squishy concept.

It’s worse because some meanings are “easier” to accept than others.

Just like some food is “easier” to eat than others.

For example, if you’re hungry, there’s a couple things to consider.

One is how “easily” you can get the food.

Another is how “good” it will taste.

A third is how “healthy” the food is.

But since the “healthy-ness” of the food is not dependent on ONE single meal, it’s easy to dismiss.

So let’s say that in our hypothetical example, “healthy-ness” is a concern, but not a very big one.

So we’ve got two choices.

A big juicy cheeseburger (or your favorite fast food) which can be in your hands in less then five minutes.

OR you could go the grocery store, buy the ingredients, and cook something that’s as tasty, and a little bit healthier.

The cheeseburger is the EASIER choice.

But it’s also pretty clear that there is a better choice, that is also MORE DIFFICULT.

It’s the same with meaning.

The meaning we give to events when there is no way to really KNOW what the meaning is.

You smile at somebody and they don’t smile back.

What does that “mean?”

The EASY meaning is that they aren’t interested or attracted to you.

It doesn’t require a lot of brainpower. (Like eating the cheeseburger doesn’t require a lot of cooking power).

But could there be a BETTER meaning?

Unless you are going to go ask them, (and prove yourself right or wrong) why not?

If eating certain foods can (even though it’s a bit more difficult) keep us healthier, and even ALIVE longer, what about thinking specific thoughts?

Choosing specific, or at least, more helpful meanings.

Certainly, it’s not easy, it’s not automatic, and it takes effort.

Just like choosing healthy food to put in our body isn’t easy, isn’t automatic, and takes effort.

But the benefits are enormous.

Health, long life, more happiness, better sleep, better (more) sex.

What is the MOST IMPORTANT meaning you can choose for your ENTIRE LIFE?

The meaning you apply to yourself.

This is the “meaning” you project to the world, all the time.

The meaning YOU give to yourself will impact every decision, every relationship, and ever act you make.

Sadly, most of us have meanings that were GIVEN to them by others.

And we just accepted them.

But we don’t need to.

We can shrug them off, and choose different meanings.

It’s not easy, it’s not automatic, and it takes effort.

But it very well could be the MOST IMPORTANT decision you ever make.

Learn How:

Stop Manipulation

How To Become Attractive

Why Opposite Usually Works

There are a lot of metaphors about doing the opposite of what you think you should do.

A poem by Rumi, the ancient Sufi poet, wrote about how when we “think” we’re walking into the water, we’re really walking into the fire, and vice versa.

If you’ve ever had a crush on somebody and your instincts told you to tell them EVERYTHING, certain that would get them to reciprocate your feelings, you probably found it had the opposite effect.

There’s that old saying that “what we resist persists.” The more we try to avoid something, the more we seem to make it come true.

What feels good in the short term (like eating cheeseburgers and playing video games) usually plays havoc on out long term success.

Even in Star Wars, Obi Won told Luke to “let go and surrender to the force” because he was trying to hard.

This idea shows up in movies, philosophy and everywhere in between.

There was even one episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza did everything the “opposite way” and it worked like a charm.

(Of course, since it was a comedy, he’d do things like walk up to gorgeous women several inches taller than him, tell them he was unemployed and lived with is parents, and they’d fall madly in love with him.)

How can we apply this to real life?

One way is how we get our ideas across to others.

We think if we say the magic words or become super persuasive with our ideas (backed by our pictures in our mind) we’ll somehow override the pictures and ideas in the minds of others.

But if they are doing the same thing (which most everybody is) then it turns into an “idea contest.” Or a “who can describe their ideas the best” contest.

The interesting thing is our ideas are pretty vague. Ours and everybody else’s.

Which means if you ditch your ideas (just for a little bit) and expand THEIR ideas, something pretty cool will happen.

One is they’ve likely never had anybody do this before.

Two is that the bigger their ideas (wants needs and desires) get, the “stickier” they’ll get.

Meaning they’ll start to see EVERYTHING (including you) through their newly expanded wants, needs and desires.

If you look at everything through a blue filter, everything will look blue.

If they look at everything through their wants, needs, and desires, they’ll see that as well.

It’s not intuitive, it’s certainly opposite, but it works like crazy.

Click Here To Learn More

Don't Listen To This Guy!

Switch Your Girl Getting Mindset

It’s easy for guys to fall into the “soul mate” trap.

If you don’t have a lot of experience with women, any attention that any one can give you may seem like a life changing event.

But when you understand that women don’t really like a guy (on a subconscious level) that makes himself too available, it’s easy to see why this isn’t such a good strategy.

From a guy’s perspective it works like this.

He interacts with a girl, and she gives him some positive signals. Maybe even some sex.

And because the guy doesn’t have a lot of experience with girls, his inner caveman brain wants him to hang on for dear life.

Because he doesn’t have much sexual history, and sex feels so fantastic, every part of him is screaming at him to hang on at all costs.

This presents itself, through his behavior, of being needy and always available.

This, of course, KILLS any attraction the girl has for him.

Now, you could “pretend” to not be needy, only text her once every couple days, etc.

But if you have little experience with women, this is nearly impossible.

What’s the solution?

Start talking to girls (all girls, not just ones you’re interested in) AS OFTEN as you can.

This will build up your experience with women.

So when you DO meet a girl who is into you, you won’t have that “needy” or “desperate” response.

Because you’ll have the experience that GIRLS ARE EVERYWHERE. And ONE of them is not really THAT important.

Not only will this attitude and believe make it less likely to mess up with girls that are into you, but it will make you MORE ATTRACTIVE to most girls.

Which will give you a MUCH BETTER problem to have.

When you switch from the unhelpful, “I-hope-I-don’t-lose-her” thinking to the MUCH more helpful, “hmm, which one should I choose?”

Click Here To Learn How

Get Massive Confidence

Massive Confidence Drills

Here’s a goofy experiment to try.

Cold approach a bunch of girls, but specifically DON’T ask for their number.

Meaning walk up, say an obviously cheesy line, but DO NOT number close.

Just talk to her enough to get her smiling, and then split.

She’ll give you a priceless look.

Because she’s likely never experienced this before.

Most guys walk up to her, a little nervous, and ALWAYS with the intention of getting her number.

So when you purposely DON’T ask for her number, she won’t really know what’s going on.

Sure, the first couple of times it may feel kind of strange.

But after you see the look on her face, it will feel pretty cool.

It’s a very SUBTLE (and it HAS to be subtle) way of saying, “I’m confident enough to talk to you, make you smile, but I’ve got more important things than beg you for attention.”

If you keep a playful attitude, she’ll wonder what the heck is going on.

Do this enough, and you’ll build up MASSIVE confidence.

World class athletes are world class because they practice A LOT.

World class ANYBODY is world class because they practice a lot.

So see these as approach drills. Since you’re NOT EVER going to ask for ANYBODY’S number (nor give yours when she asks) there’s no chance of rejection.

These drills will build up MASSIVE confidence.

The kind of confidence that pulls high quality women out of the woodwork.

All eager to meet you.

Click Here To Learn More

Are You Afraid Of Committment?

Right, Or Left?

I remember when I was a kid I played little league basketball. I pretty much sucked at it, which is why I only played once. We played on these courts with short baskets, or low baskets. I think maybe they were eight feet, but I’m not sure. I’m much better at playing horse. One of my problems was that I was too easy to fake out. Some guy would come dribbling down the court, and fake left, and I could immediately commit, and put all my weight on my right foot as I shifted to where I thought he was going.

After his quick fake left (my right) he would then go right, opposite to where I had committed my body weight, easily going around me. I would be left standing there, looking foolish. No matter how good an offensive player, a defender never looks good getting faked out like that.

Much later I remember playing a game of flag football, as an adult. It wasn’t a big game, just a bunch of weekend warriors out to have a good time. I think we had a case of beer on the game or something. I was on defense, on the line. We were playing some kind of zone defense in front, and man to man in back, I think. I’m not sure how to describe it in football technical terms.

I think I was supposed to count two alligators or something, and then rush in to the QB and try to grab his flags. But on this particular play, something felt odd. For some reason, and to this day I have no idea why, I didn’t rush in. I was about to step in but something stopped me. The offense pulled this double reverse, and the guy who ended up with the ball came running right at me. Had I rushed in like I was supposed to, I would have gotten faked out, and he would have made quite a substantial gain. But when he did come running at me, I was still dazed, trying to figure out why I was still standing there. I grabbed his flag, and they ended up losing a yard or two.

After the play, a teammate come up and congratulated me.
“You read that pretty good!” He said, clapping me on the back.

I had no idea what he was talking about. Read what? Read how? Later that night, it finally hit me what he was talking about. It was if I was some kind of experienced lineman, and could instinctively read the intentions of the offense, and react accordingly. But football is another sport I only played once or twice as a kid. I had no idea what was going on. So why did I just stand there?

I remember reading some article on some website regarding commitment in relationships. It was written by a guy, and he was saying that men are actually more prone to commit than women. I think maybe his girlfriend just dumped him, so perhaps he was a bit biased. Obviously, if you are a guy, and you are after a girl, and you are into her much more than she is into you, it’s easy to see that you could think that guys commit more readily than girls.

Likewise, if you are a girl, and you are into a guy much more than he is into you, it could be easy to convince yourself that guys just can’t commit.

The harsh truth may be that guys, and girls are both perfectly capable of commitment, just not to you (whoever you are), at least right now.

But what is commitment? What is it really?

When you go to the grocery store, and you want to buy one apple, (say you only have a dollar) you have to choose on above all the rest. So when you choose one, you are at the same time forever saying no to all the rest. If you are really really hungry, then it wouldn’t really matter that much. You’d grab any old apple that wasn’t bruised up and didn’t appear to be half eaten by worms.

But if you were using the apple in a special recipe, later that night say, you’d be much more picky. You wouldn’t be overwhelmed by hunger and in a hurry to choose. You’d take your time, and find the best one out of all of them. You’d likely pick up a few, inspect them, and then put them back. (In case you’re a fan of Murphy’s Law, when you go to the store to buy one apple, it will always be the one on the bottom).

Whenever you commit to one thing, you are saying “no” to everything else. It’s kind of hard to say “no” to something unless you know what you are saying “no” to.

I remember once I was at traffic school. One of those places you have to go to in order to avoid an increase in insurance. The teacher was an ex cop, and was telling us stories about pulling people over. He said once he flashed his sirens, and one guy pulled over. When he walked up to the guy’s window, he asked the cop why he chose him. There were plenty of other people speeding, so why did he have to choose him.

“I just flashed my lights, and you were the only one that stopped.” Was the cop’s response. Kind of funny, but that is most people’s strategy for making decisions. Make a little bit of an effort, usually the minimum amount required, and they take whatever comes to them.

Guy walks into a bar (what is this, a joke?) and he falls in love with the first girl that smiles at him. Girl graduates from college, sends out twenty résumés, and takes the first job offer she gets.

What’s you’re strategy? Do you take the first offer that comes? Or do you wait, and take your time to decide? Turning down an offer, any offer that seems decent can be extremely difficult. I’ve taken jobs before, because they were the only one I thought I could get at the time. Then later when people asked me why I chose that job, it felt embarrassing to say, “It was the only choice I had.”

If we could look into the future, and see all the opportunities that come our way on a daily basis, maybe we won’t be so prone to commit to soon, and get faked out like I did on the basketball court. Maybe it’s best to just trust our guts, hang back and see what develops.

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Success with NLP

Success with NLP