They say you can’t make a second first impression.
This is sort of true, but like a lot of these “truisms” there’s a lot more than a clever saying.
The idea is based on a couple of other very general ideas.
One is that most of our communication is unconscious.
Body language, voice tonality, facial expressions.
It’s pretty easy to scan a room and find out who’s confident and relaxed, and who is nervous and closed off.
The second is that people form an opinion within a few seconds.
The idea then, is because that opinion is formed early, AND it’s done based on unconscious communication, then the image we project will be pretty consistent.
Our unconscious communication is the sum total of our beliefs, ideas about ourselves and the world, etc.
And because our beliefs don’t usually change by very much, then our unconscious communication, the energy we are always projecting, won’t change much.
But one thing that CAN change is HOW we use our verbal communication.
Most people use an “outside-in” type of communication.
Whenever we talk to others, we try and take OUR ideas out of OUR heads, and then put them into THEIR heads.
This comes across as us telling stories or anecdotes.
But it’s especially true when we have an idea of how we want the other person to respond.
Which is almost ALWAYS the case.
Even if the conversation is initiated by somebody else, everything we say comes with a desired outcome.
Sometimes that outcome might be to answer their question as easily and politely as possible, so they will leave us alone.
But when we do the approaching, or the initiating, we usually have a very clear idea of what we want to happen as a result.
And so long as we use the “outside-in” communication style, that “you can’t make a second first impression” usually holds true.
But it won’t be true if you flip the switch.
And instead of using an “outside-in” style (trying to put your ideas into their mind) you use an “inside-out” style.
This is where you ask them simple questions, and get them talking about things they like.
Most people aren’t expecting that.
Most people are expecting an “outside-in” style.
And that comes with a lot of assumptions.
But because speaking to them in an “inside-out” style is way different than they expect, they’ll soon learn that their impression was VERY incorrect.
Simply because people LOVE to talk about the things they like.
But when you take it even further, and continue talking to them that gets them feeling REALLY good, then you will do something pretty cool.
You will leave SUCH an amazing impression on them, they’ll NEVER be able to forget you.
So if you don’t even have any intentions other than making them feel really good, you will slowly be filling your social circle (or business contacts) with people who think you are AWESOME.