Tag Archives: Metaphor

Bang My Head

How To Leverage Their Ego

In business you’ve got to make some tough choices.

A common metaphor is that you get something done inexpensively, quickly and high quality.

The rub is that you can ONLY pick two.

Meaning if it’s fast and cheap it’s not going to be high quality.

If it’s high quality and cheap it’s going to take a long time.

From inside our heads, we often have to make the same choices.

One thing we humans LOVE to do is be “right.”

That’s even a common expression.

“I know, right?”

But when it comes to persuasion, the need to be right can get in our way.

In fact, the less we need to be right, the more we can get done.

Plenty of famous people have been attributed with this quote:

“Humans can accomplish anything so long as it doesn’t matter who gets the credit.”

We KNOW this, but at the same time it’s our Achilles heel.

It’s REALLY DIFFICULT to see somebody else take credit for your idea.

People spend kajillion dollars on lawsuits for this very reason.

But if you CAN turn off your need to “be right,” just for a minute, you can get other people to do pretty much anything.

As an extreme example, if somebody REALLY WANTS to give you a sack of money, is it REALLY that important that they think it was THEIR idea?

If can manage to shut of our own “need to be right” just for a couple seconds, we can leverage the OTHER PERSON’s “need to be right” in our favor.

How?

Most everything we do is influenced by one of the seven laws.

Authority, social proof, scarcity, etc.

At the same time, while we are obediently following those seven laws, (following the crowd, doing or thinking whatever the authority on TV or Facebook tells us), we actually believe it’s OUR idea.

Nobody will explain their behaviors and beliefs as being put in their minds by social proof and authority.

Nobody will say, “I really don’t have any idea why I’m doing what I’m doing, but that guy has on a lab coat, and everybody is doing it, and that’s good enough for me!”

BECAUSE we have this “need to be right” we NEED to believe it’s OUR idea.

Which means if you can shut off your “need to be right” for just a little bit, you can leverage those seven laws like CRAZY.

Because when you combine them with conversational hypnosis, you don’t need anything but your words and the ideas they create.

And then just stand back and watch them “be right,” only they are “being right” in exactly the way you wanted them to.

Learn How:

Seven Laws

Risk Reward Of Persuasion

How She Got Money From Her Parents

When I was a kid I loved reading Mad Magazine.

Once they got into trouble because they had a very realistic looking $3 bill.

And supposedly, some kids were using them in change machines.

There was one bit I remember reading as a kid.

It’s pretty popular, I’ve heard it in a lot of places.

It was a letter written from a student at college to her parents.

She went on for a few paragraphs about how her life had completely changed.

She’d dropped out of college.

Gotten a bunch of tattoos and piercings.

(This was back in the day when that was still pretty “out there.”)

She was living with her new boyfriend who had just gotten out of prison.

She was also pregnant.

And she was pretty sure it was his.

But then the letter ended with the following:

“Just kidding. School is fine, my GPA is still 4.0, but I need a couple hundred dollars. Could you send it?”

The idea being that the parents would be so relieved that their little angle wasn’t tatted up and pregnant by an ex-con, that they’d gladly send her the cash.

Whereas, if she started out saying, “Dear dad, can I have some money?” she wouldn’t have gotten the same result.

This clearly shows that when we frame our suggestion or recommendation, we can have a much better chance of getting it accepted.

Instead of just blurting out what we want, if we think a bit, and put it in the proper context, it will be much more likely to be accepted.

What context?

Think in terms of cost and benefits.

Everything we do has costs and benefits.

Everything we think about doing has costs and benefits.

So when we present our ideas to others, they are going to IMMEDIATELY and usually unconsciously think of our ideas terms of costs and benefits.

The idea is to make your suggestion have a much better cost-benefit ratio (many benefits per cost) compared to the alternative.

Just choose something similar to your suggestion, but make sure it is MUCH costlier (in terms of time, money, or inconvenience) and only has a little bit more benefits.

Compared to THAT, your choice will be the most logical.

Luckily, there are plenty of ways to do this.

And the more you practice, the better you’ll get.

And this law, (Comparison and Contrast) is only ONE of the seven.

Learn Them ALL:

Seven Laws

Radiate Real Authority

How To Imply Massive Authority

One of the most groundbreaking studies in psychology is the famous Milgram experiment.

It’s been repeated several times, all with the same results.

There was a guy in a white lab coat, posing as a researcher.

There was a guy behind a class window, posing as a test subject.

Then there was the guy or gal who was supposed to give electric shocks to the guy behind the glass.

The supposed study, as told to the poor dude giving the shocks, was that it was some kind of new memory technique.

For every wrong answer, the guy behind the glass got a shock.

But the REAL study was to see HOW HIGH of a shock a person would deliver.

The shocks were actually fake.

And the guy screaming in pain was only pretending.

The results were horrifying.

Most people gave enough shocks to kill somebody, had they been real.

The guy behind the glass even pretended to have a heart attack.

But the test subjects kept shocking away.

All because lab-coat guy said it was OK.

The study was cooked up soon after WWII ended.

Everybody was curious how a country like Germany could go crazy and let a bunch of Nazis kill millions of people.

Turns out that we humans have a bunch of switches in our brains.

And if you know to flip those switches, you can get people to do ANYTHING.

In that particular study, they were leveraging the AUTHORITY switch.

Most people turn off their brains when a scientist in a lab coat tells them it’s OK to shock somebody.

Of course, these switches are neutral.

They are neither bad nor good.

They are like the proverbial driver who can either drive a getaway car or an ambulance.

If you use these switches for good, you can get people to do things that benefit EVERYBODY.

How many of these switches are there?

Seven.

Advertisers have been using them for a long time.

To get us to buy all kinds of stuff.

Many dating techniques are based on them.

But one thing most people DON’T know is how to COMBINE them with the Milton Model.

The patterns of conversational hypnosis.

It cost a lot of money to set up that experiment.

It’s kind of like a con in the movies.

You need a lot of actors (a guy playing a scientist, a guy playing the dude getting shocked, etc.) and you need to create the situation.

But with the Milton Model, you can hypnotically imply ALL of these switches.

Which means just by having a conversation, you can conjure up all kinds of authority.

Or any of the other seven laws.

Learn How:

Seven Laws

True Leadership

Radiate What Everybody Craves

Once me and a buddy were feeling rebellious.

This was back in high school.

I was a bit of a non-conformist.

We were sitting in algebra class, talking about how it sucked to have to follow the “rules.”

Of course, at the time, the “rules” were do your homework, get up when the bell rings, and ONLY when the bell rings.

We decided to rebel.

To give the finger to the system.

Our way of doing that was to stand up BEFORE the bell rant.

(I know, crazy!)

We imagined the teacher yelling at us, the other kids gasping in horror.

In our high school brains, that was us making a “statement” against the “system.”

Only it didn’t quite work out that way.

We stood up, and nobody gasped, nobody was outraged, and the cops didn’t show up.

What happened was that everybody else stood up.

They figured since SOMEBODY had stood up, it was time to go.

They didn’t even notice the bell hadn’t rung.

The teacher looked up, a little baffled.

(He usually read the newspaper in the last ten minutes or so of class while we got started on our homework).

He looked at the clock (still a minute to go) and then back at all the other kids.

They seemed to know what was going on (since they were following me and my non-conformist buddy), and even though the clock wasn’t playing along, the teacher (the actual authority of the crowd) just shrugged his shoulders and went back to his paper.

The moral of the story?

We humans are HARD WIRED to follow people.

And if the RECOGNIZED authority (in this case the teacher) doesn’t do his job, they’ll follow whoever TAKES AUTHORITY from him or her.

Now, we weren’t intending to start a revolution or anything.

But this accidental experiment showed a very powerful (and largely unknown or leveraged) facet of human nature.

Humans NEED an authority figure.

We feel LOST without one.

And MOST of our authority figures (the official ones with the titles and uniforms and degrees) really SUCK at it.

Most of them don’t want authority because they actually want to LEAD PEOPLE to better lives.

Most of them are like our algebra teacher.

It’s a job that pays OK, and comes with BUILT IN authority.

The authority comes with the job (or position or degree or certificate).

NOT THE PERSON.

But we humans are hard wired to follow people with REAL AUTHORITY.

Not the authority that comes with a piece of paper or a uniform or a job description.

You may say that people today are STARVED for real authority.

Which means YOU can step up, and fill the gap.

Learn How:

Cult Leader

Magic Woman Trick

The Secret Rules of Life

Imagine playing a game of basketball without knowing the rules.

You had to play before you knew how.

And the only way to learn was to learn by playing.

If you had two teams under these conditions, it might actually be pretty interesting.

Assuming you had refs and scorekeepers who DID know the rules.

Part of your strategy would be to figure out the rules BEFORE the other team did, but to keep them secret as long as possible.

After all, if your team knew the rules and the other team didn’t, you’d have a HUGE advantage.

Now imagine ONLY your team didn’t know the rules.

The other players, the other coaches, all the fans, the scorekeepers, and the refs knew the rules.

But you and your team had your memory wiped or something.

It would be horrible!

For many of us, this is EXACTLY what it feels like during our normal lives.

It’s like everybody else knows the rules, knows all the secrets, but they forgot to tell us.

We’re shuffling along, trying our best, and everybody’s just whizzing by having the time of their lives.

Sometimes it even seems like they purposely tilted the rules in their favor.

And to a certain degree, they have.

Despite our system of “laws,” the golden rule will always apply to some degree.

The golden rule being, “He who has the gold makes the rules.”

But if you can understand how the game is played, it’s not so bad.

Especially if you not only get how the game is played, but how people think.

This would be like knowing the playbook of the other team, AND knowing which plays they were about to play.

Of course, how you USE this information is up to you.

But you better believe that plenty of people who DO know these inside ideas are using them to benefit themselves, at the EXPENSE of others.

You can think of knowing these as a kind of insurance policy.

Just in case.

Learn More:

Cult Leader

Dig Below The Surface

Social Circle of Lovers

They say you can’t make a second first impression.

This is sort of true, but like a lot of these “truisms” there’s a lot more than a clever saying.

The idea is based on a couple of other very general ideas.

One is that most of our communication is unconscious.

Body language, voice tonality, facial expressions.

It’s pretty easy to scan a room and find out who’s confident and relaxed, and who is nervous and closed off.

The second is that people form an opinion within a few seconds.

The idea then, is because that opinion is formed early, AND it’s done based on unconscious communication, then the image we project will be pretty consistent.

Our unconscious communication is the sum total of our beliefs, ideas about ourselves and the world, etc.

And because our beliefs don’t usually change by very much, then our unconscious communication, the energy we are always projecting, won’t change much.

But one thing that CAN change is HOW we use our verbal communication.

Most people use an “outside-in” type of communication.

Whenever we talk to others, we try and take OUR ideas out of OUR heads, and then put them into THEIR heads.

This comes across as us telling stories or anecdotes.

But it’s especially true when we have an idea of how we want the other person to respond.

Which is almost ALWAYS the case.

Even if the conversation is initiated by somebody else, everything we say comes with a desired outcome.

Sometimes that outcome might be to answer their question as easily and politely as possible, so they will leave us alone.

But when we do the approaching, or the initiating, we usually have a very clear idea of what we want to happen as a result.

And so long as we use the “outside-in” communication style, that “you can’t make a second first impression” usually holds true.

But it won’t be true if you flip the switch.

And instead of using an “outside-in” style (trying to put your ideas into their mind) you use an “inside-out” style.

This is where you ask them simple questions, and get them talking about things they like.

Most people aren’t expecting that.

Most people are expecting an “outside-in” style.

And that comes with a lot of assumptions.

But because speaking to them in an “inside-out” style is way different than they expect, they’ll soon learn that their impression was VERY incorrect.

Simply because people LOVE to talk about the things they like.

But when you take it even further, and continue talking to them that gets them feeling REALLY good, then you will do something pretty cool.

You will leave SUCH an amazing impression on them, they’ll NEVER be able to forget you.

So if you don’t even have any intentions other than making them feel really good, you will slowly be filling your social circle (or business contacts) with people who think you are AWESOME.

Learn How:

Secret Agent Persuasion

DNA of Success

Cut Through Their Social Anxiety

Most people have a certain amount of social anxiety.

Meaning that few people feel entirely comfortable around others.

If you define “total comfort” as how you feel when you are alone, and can say and do anything without worrying, then EVERYBODY has a form of “social anxiety.”

Everybody has things they feel comfortable saying and doing when they are alone, that they would NEVER do around others.

For example, have you ever been “caught” signing in the car?

You’re favorite tune is on, your belting it out along with the band, but then you glance around and somebody right next to you is watching you.

Few people would continue EXACTLY as they were before they were “caught.”

Even if you smile to yourself and change your volume, even slightly, you are responding because of social anxiety.

Sure, it may be perfectly acceptable social anxiety, but the structure is the same.

It’s also that same that keeps us from fully expressing ourselves the way we want.

Any time you have an idea in your head, and you imagine expressing it a certain way, but it comes out “differently” the inhibiting factor is social anxiety.

Social = You are around other people

Anxiety = An uncomfortable feeling of worry

Just that when people say, “I have social anxiety,” we assume they mean debilitating levels.

Like they can’t even go outside, or they vomit when they think of talking to attractive people.

But the truth is that EVERYBODY has anxiety of SOME level, whenever thinking about behaving socially.

It’s human nature.

Which is a good place to start from when intending to persuade anybody.

Why?

Because in order to persuade somebody, you have to put things in terms that they can understand.

(Unless you are using the, “do it my way or else” strategy).

Which means they have to be COMFORTALBE sharing with you something about what they want.

But most people, when you ask them, “What do you want?” aren’t going to feel comfortable telling you.

Even people who have been in intimate relationships have trouble telling each other what they want.

Luckily, there is a very EASY way to get them thinking about what they want.

A simple question process, which when used correctly, doesn’t even require that they speak.

Which means you can get deep inside their mind, and find their most treasured desires.

And since they’ll feel comfortable thinking and talking about those deepest desires with YOU, they’ll start to subconsciously associate those two things.

Their deepest desires and you.

Learn How:

Secret Agent Persuasion

Build Their Treasure

Help Them Find Their Treasure

Surprising people with gifts is a fun hobby.

Both giving and receiving.

When I was a kid we would have Easter egg hunts.

And my dad would make a “special” egg.

Whoever found it got $10.

Looking was as fun as finding.

But if you’ve even given secret presents to people, that’s just as fun.

Especially if you have a small gift (like jewelry) and hide it inside a big ugly box that’s wrapped up in newspaper or something.

There’s even “geocaching” where people hide stuff all over Earth.

And then others look for it based on the coordinates.

Then they find it, do something different to it (sign it or something) and then leave it for the next person.

The idea of “hidden treasure” is in a lot of places.

Stories, cultures, games, mythology, and on and on.

They say when we humans were first created, they put our greatest treasure in the one place we’d never look.

Deep within ourselves.

But with a few clever questions, you can help others find their treasure.

And not just the treasure, but that desire energy, the “treasure energy” that is underneath it.

And you can connect that “treasure energy” to anything.

Your product, your service, your ideas.

Even yourself.

The only “rule” is that you have to be ultra covert.

In order to find their hidden treasure, you have to hide your intentions.

You have to let THEM think THEY were the ones that found their treasure.

Of course, that is the greatest gift you can give somebody.

The pleasure of finding their own treasure.

Learn How:

Secret Agent Persuasion

Fantasy Stories Will Work Wonders

Make Girls Want To Meet You

Most guys wait around until they see an attractive girl before they start wondering how to get “girls” to like them.

There they are, skipping down the street, happy as can be, and the BOOM!

A gorgeous girl suddenly appears.

And then they think, “Jeez, how can I get her to notice me? To like me? To maybe fall in love with me?”

Unfortunately, by then it might be a bit too late.

It’s much better to be PROACTIVE.

And start to take time to build an attractive “personality.”

Any time you have to do anything consciously, it’s not going to be very effective.

Meaning if you have to THINK about what to say, THINK about what to do, it will come across as unnatural.

So, how do you get into attractive “shape?”

If you wanted to get into physical shape, it would be pretty simple.

Hit the gym, watch what you eat, etc.

But one thing that radiates MASSIVE attraction is somebody who is socially confident AND socially competent.

Somebody who feels AT HOME as the center of attention in a crowd.

And when you tell stories that are designed to create attraction in any female that’s listening, this will happen pretty easily.

This will put you in a MUCH BETTER position.

Even if she’s not actually listening, she’ll be watching EVERYBODY ELSE (guys and girls) who are hanging on your every word.

So before she even talks to you, she’ll have already made up her mind that YOU are somebody she wants to get to know.

You can even practice these patterns on “friends” and they won’t know what hit them.

They won’t know WHY they are suddenly attracted to you, only that they are.

And pretty soon, you will have pretty much flipped the script on the world.

Girls will be the ones noticing YOU and wondering how THEY can get YOUR attention.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Seduction

Alien Invasion

Stop Trying To Push Her Buttons

Most people think in terms of checkers.

They want something, and they to know how to get it.

Sometimes, this is easy.

If you want a snack out of a vending machine, you put in the right amount of money, and push the right buttons.

Simple checkers logic.

Linear “cause and effect.”

But some things are much more complicated.

Which means getting what you want will require a bit more thinking that linear “cause and effect.”

But even the most complicated things follow a certain set of rules.

Otherwise, we would be living in a completely random universe.

And since we’re not, there IS a repeatable strategy to get pretty much anything.

But sometimes that strategy can be pretty complicated.

Much TOO complicated for those who only want to insert right coins and push the right buttons.

But for those who are willing to stretch their brains, getting what you want is pretty easy.

Even if it’s the interest of an attractive woman.

All you’ve got to do is the right things in the right order.

What things?

Getting her feeling the right emotions in the right order.

How do you do that?

Most people go about it the roundabout way. Trying all kinds of different “techniques” that are supposed to be like “pushing buttons.”

But that can be hit and miss.

Instead of just pushing buttons, think about slowly moving her emotions.

Slowly increase one, wait for it to peak, and then slowly increase the next one.

This is much more like playing an instrument than pushing buttons on a machine.

How do you move her emotions in the right order?

By telling her the right stories in the right order.

Which stories are those?

These:

Hypnotic Seduction