Tag Archives: NLP

They’ll Want You More

When I was a kid we had this dirty trick we’d play on each other.

You told your buddy that if you rubbed your palms really hard together, in a certain direction, it would make them smell like roses.

Then when the “sucker” put his palm up to smell it, somebody would push it into his face.

Then everybody would run, and the “sucker” would chase us.

Then we would all go and do it to somebody else.

As you can guess, it didn’t take long before all the kids knew the “con.”

But the structure has been around for a long time.

Using people’s natural tendencies against them.

This is how goofs like Jim Jones build massive cults that willingly follow him to their deaths.

But driving skills, as they say, can be used to drive a getaway car or an ambulance.

Or a hammer can be used to build a beautiful home or to destroy something.

For example, a very common tendency for us humans, when we hear somebody tell us about their big plans, is to question them.

And not neutrally, usually from a slightly “critical” viewpoint.

Trouble is most of us tell ourselves that we’re “just trying to help.”

Like somebody says they are going on a trip alone to a foreign country.

We say something like, “Wow, isn’t that kind dangerous?”

We pretend that we’re concerned, but in reality we’re jealous.

We’d LOVE to be able to do the same thing, but for one reason or another, we don’t.

And most people don’t really like the idea of other people doing all the fun stuff.

So we throw out the “Wow, isn’t that dangerous?” statement, pretending to be concerned, but really trying to throw a tiny wet blanket on their plans.

OF course, since everybody does this to everybody I’m sure you’ve been on the receiving end quite a few times.

What’s the antidote?

To simply do the opposite.

Instead of saying something silly like, “Wow, isn’t that dangerous?” We can ask them a question that PRESUPPOSES they will be able to handle ANYTHING that comes up.

And this actually WILL help them.

Not only that, but it will make them feel much better about what they’re doing.

The cool thing is you can use this “trick” ANY TIME somebody is talking to you about something they want.

Even if they only “halfway” want it.

By the time the finish talking to YOU, they’ll want it a lot more.

And they’ll associate that WANT with YOU.

Learn More:
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Learn Her Triggers of Desire

If you put together the correct ingredients for a cake, and put it in the right pan in the right oven at the right temperature for the right amount of time, you’ll get a cake.

Every single time.

You won’t sometimes get a cake, or only get a cake if you are lucky. But if you do the same things on the front end, you’ll get the same things on the back end.

Einstein’s way of describing this curious facet about reality is that “God doesn’t play dice with the universe.”

Meaning the laws of nature are NOT based on randomness.

Sure, they can SEEM random if we don’t understand the underlying rules, and how the rules might interact with each other.

For example, if you tried to bake a cake a the bottom of the ocean, you probably wouldn’t get a cake. You’d get a soggy salty mess.

People are the same way.

It can sure seem that we’ve all got these “random behavior generators” in our brains, but we really don’t.

All of us look out into the world with an idea of what we want.

And based on our understandings of our skills, and the world, we’ll take certain actions to get what we want.

This same process happens whether or not we’re taking a leak in the middle of the night or building a boat in our backyard.

We are also subject to stimuli.

If you feel a rat crawl across your foot as you’re eating dinner, you’ll recoil in horror.

If you see a little kid running across a room with a happy expression on his face, you’ll probably smile.

And if you exhibit the right behavioral patterns and communication strategies, you’ll create attraction in women.

Every single time.

Whether or not you or they act on it is a different story.

But creating attraction and desire is pretty simple once you get your mind around it.

Click Here To Learn How

Yes There Are No Bananas

Us humans have a lot of blinders.

One of the better known ones is “cognitive dissonance.”

The ability to negatively hallucinate things that would harm our ego.

Like if you got into a huge argument with your spouse or significant other.

She said there were plenty of bananas at the store.

But you said they stopped selling bananas years ago.

You argue for hours, and finally she gives up and lets you win.

Then you go the store, and there ARE bananas.

But your subconscious doesn’t allow you to see them.

Because that would mean admitting not only you were wrong, but you were wrong about something very silly.

So your own brain hypnotizes you so your ego can stay intact.

(In this example, assume your spouse never goes to the store so she can’t buy a banana and throw it at you).

Cognitive dissonance is, by it’s nature, something that’s easy to notice in others, but never in ourselves.

One of the ways it crops up is when we have an opportunity, but we don’t take it.

The REAL REASON we don’t take it is because we are afraid.

Terrified of social exposure and rejection.

But we don’t admit that to ourselves.

We PRETEND that it’s for another reason.

We give ourselves a logical sounding excuse for NOT making an attempt.

We don’t fail, and our ego stays intact.

The problem is the world is OUT THERE.

While our excuses stay IN HERE.

Safely in our heads.

From the world’s standpoint (which means all the other people who see us), the ONLY THING that matters to THEM is what we DO.

They are NOT CONCERNED in the least how we convince ourselves that we really COULD take action if we wanted to.

They just see us NOT taking action.

And they (whoever they are) end up interacting (however they interact) with whoever DOES take action.

Because no matter how clever or brilliant or insightful you are, it’s your ACTIONS that get results, not your thinking.

Anybody can think brilliant thoughts.

But ONLY those with the courage to turn those thoughts into effective ACTIONS will get results.

Click Here To Learn How

Leverage The Secret of Economics

There’s a concept in economics called the “invisible hand.”

It was described first by Adam Smith a few hundred years ago.

It’s basically the idea that a mass of people, all operating independently can solve problems much more quickly and effectively than a central authority.

For example, let’s say there’s a city that has a bunch of hamburger shops. They all buy their bread from a few different bread factories.

And the bread factories buy their raw materials from a few different countries.

But for some reason, the price of wheat goes up. Which makes the bread more expensive, which makes the hamburgers more expensive.

One hamburger shop gets an idea to wrap their burgers in lettuce, (for example).

One guy with one idea. Then all the other shops copy him and pretty soon all burgers are cheap again, and everybody’s happy.

Meanwhile, the bread factories have found some other sources of wheat that are cheaper, and now the bread is cheap again.

End result is now the hamburger shops have two different types of burgers.

Those with bread and those wrapped in lettuce.

The bottom line of this goofy example is nobody really needs to know WHY the wheat suddenly got expensive. Everybody from the bread factories to the hamburger customers only knew that they had a problem, and EVERYBODY, on their own, in their own way, figured out how to solve it.

And when one guy figured it out, everybody knew as well.

Compare this to the central authority model, that says you need to study why the wheat is so expensive and come up with farming reforms and all that stuff.

That would take YEARS.

But in the above example, the solution took maybe a week, at most.

All because people interact, share information based on their own view of their own world around them.

Being alive right now is significant in that there are TONS of ways to connect with other people.

No matter WHAT kind of problem you have, no matter what kind of idea you have, you will more than likely find the solution within your own social circle.

Which means the BIGGER your social circle, the more effective you’ll be.

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Essential Skills For Alien Invasions

One of my hobbies is reading doom and gloom economic blogs.

This type of thing has been around since forever.

(not blogs, but doom and gloom ideas)

Go back in time, anywhere, and you’ll find a certain percentage of people thinking that the end is near.

Even in the song, “Roadhouse Blues,” Jim Morrison tells us, “the future’s uncertain and the end is always near…

One thing that modern blogs (of the doom and gloom type) talk about is how to withstand the coming economic collapse. (Or zombie apocalypse or whatever).

And that is to maximize your “human capital” value.

For example, if the world financial system were to collapse (maybe due to an alien invasion or something) all you would have would be what you physically had, AND what you could work with others to produce.

Which would mean you would need a high degree of social confidence.

Even world class entrepreneurs, who have built many businesses from scratch, when asked if they had to start over, what skills would they keep, they ALWAYS answer, “people skills.”

Being able to talk to another human, especially somebody you don’t know that well, and convince them of the validity of your idea is a pretty good skill to have, alien invasion or not.

Even if you think and hope that the economy will keep humming (or limping) along indefinitely, your ability to interact with other people will help you succeed no matter WHAT kind of business you’re in.

Luckily, it’s one of the EASIEST skills to learn, since we humans are VERY social creatures.

And it’s not really a matter of LEARNING what to do, it’s just a matter of UNLEARNING things that aren’t working.

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How To Play Both Sides

Once I had to hire somebody for a lab I worked for.

I was co-interviewing with my boss, and we were having trouble filling the position.

One of the applicants looked really good on paper but he came across rather stiff.

He even described himself as a “lone-wolf” kind of guy.

And since working in the lab required talking to a lot of different departments and being proactive, we decided to give this guy a pass.

Sometimes it’s cool to be a “lone wolf.”

I’ve done a lot of backpacking, and generally it’s better to have fewer people than more.

The more people you have, the longer it takes to make a decision.

But with only a couple of guys, you tend to spend less time talking and more time walking.

Whenever you have an objective that doesn’t necessarily involve a lot of people, like fixing your sink or cleaning out your garage, being a lone wolf is generally best.

Get in there, get it done, and then get out.

If you had six of your buddies over while you tried to fix your sink, it’d NEVER get done.

Some people are terrible about playing the “lone wolf.”

Whenever they decide something important, they need to talk to as many people as possible and get all kinds of different opinions.

Clearly, it’s limiting to be either a lone wolf all the time, or a social butterfly all the time.

It’s very effective to be able to shift into either mindset depending on the task at hand.

But some people are much better shifting into one than the other.

If you can only do one, you’re limiting yourself.

But if you can do both, you can be pretty marketable.

You can tell any interviewer, for example, that you can get along with all sorts of people and work well within groups, but you also know when to turn on the tunnel vision and get things done.

Not only can you switch sides when needed, but that will come across in your energy.

You can radiate both intense focus as well as socially powerful energy.

Making you stand out from everybody no matter where you go.

Click Here to Learn How.

Be A Collector Of Stories

When I was a kid we would organize these scavenger hunts in the neighborhood.

Somebody would organize a list of weird things. Then we’d break into teams and go around the neighborhood and knocked on doors.

Whoever collected all the stuff (yellow clothespin, etc.) would win.

Then later when I was in Boy Scouts, we had a similar game, but it was more like low level “hazing” for new kids.

We’d go to these huge jamborees with hundreds of different troops.

And we’d send kids around looking for things that didn’t exist.

Like left handed smoke shifter, or a bacon stretcher.

Everybody was in on it, and pretty soon the new kids would figure out they’d been had. Most of them would keep going around, because it was pretty fun.

But me and my buddy would purposely go around to all the different troops and ask for the craziest stuff we could think of.

Just to see if they could keep a straight face while telling us another troop (the one that happened to be furthest away) had it.

It was also a good way to stay away from your own troop, because you hung around your own troop, the adults would eventually give you something to do.

Talking to people can be incredibly rewarding.

Even if you don’t have any intention other than passing the time.

Because most people are pretty interesting.

And the more people you talk to, the more stories you’ll pick up.

Sure, a lot of people won’t offer much, but a few will.

You can think of other people’s stories like “resources.”

So when you DO find yourself talking to somebody that you would like to persuade or influence, telling stories is a great way to do it.

Or if all you want to do is develop deep rapport, perhaps to start a relationship, stories can be a good way to do that.

They tell a story, and you relate a story that happened to a friend of yours.

Each story you collect can be a resource to further deepen your relationships with people you’ll later meet.

Think about that next time you see a huge crowd of people roaming about.

Think of how many stories they might have.

Then go and collect them.

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Simple Steps To Change Your Entire World

When we humans look out into the world, we’re only seeing a very small fraction of what is really out there.

There is so much data hitting our senses (sight, smell, touch, sounds, etc) there’s NO WAY we can process it all.

So part of us (the pre-conscious processor) has to figure out what’s important and what’s not.

Without doing any self-programming, we’ll be stuck with our factory settings.

We notice things that are good (food, safety, money, sex, etc.) and things that are bad (tigers, loud noises, etc).

But beyond that, what our pre-conscious processor decides to show us is also based on our skills.

For example, if you saw something falling out of the corner of your eye, you would respond based on your current understanding of your own level of skill, in this case, your strength.

If you NEVER exercised, and couldn’t do ten pushups to save your life, you’d probably get out of the way before you even knew what was happening.

But if you were fairly athletic, in good shape, comfortable with your strength and speed, you would respond completely different.

Maybe look around and make sure everybody else was safe.

In neither of the above two cases would you stop and think what to do.

You would just respond to changes in your surroundings, AUTOMATICALLY, based on consciously built in skills.

You would also consider different leisure activities, based on your level of physical fitness.

If you were in good shape, you might be interested in a new park or field that was built in your neighborhood.

On the other hand, if you were in lousy shape, your focus would on completely different things.

Social skills will impact you the same way.

With a high level of social skills, you’ll perceive the world around you completely differently than somebody with low social skills.

And when something just “happens,” you’ll respond differently as well.

What’s really cool is that because a higher level of social skills changes your micro-behaviors (facial expressions, body language, etc) you will be PERCIEVED totally differently by others as well.

Luckily, building up your social skills is pretty easy.

So long as you take your time, and do a little bit each day, you’ll soon see the world change around you.

Click Here to learn more.

Back Pocket Skills

You can get better at pretty much anything with practice.

The ideal situation is where you enjoy practicing, so getting better is fun.

Like musicians. They like to play, and they like to practice.

Compared to when I was a kid and I HAD to practice the violin.

Unfortunately, when it comes to a lot of things, we don’t seem to see them as “practice and get better” frame.

We see them through the, “some people are good and some people aren’t” frame.

Especially when it comes to anything regarding our brains.

Intelligence, learning ability, these are commonly thought to be “set in stone” but in reality they are very fluid.

Another thing that is very fluid (able to get better with practice) are social skills.

Most of us see somebody who is naturally outgoing and think, “Wow, I could never be that way.”

Which is OK if you really don’t like mingling with strangers. These days it can be pretty easy to hang out at home and STILL make a pretty good living.

However, for those who WANT to improve their social skills, it can seem pretty difficult.

Because most of the ideas of doing things like this require you to “feel the fear and do it anyway,” or “push through your anxiety,” until it becomes less of an issue.

While that DOES work, it requires a TON of motivation.

Luckily there IS another way. To increase your comfort zone from the inside out. So you can continue to feel comfortable while doing new behaviors.

After all, something like being exceptionally confident and outgoing can help out in a lot of ways.

Job interviews, capitalizing on opportunities, or just having fun in social situations.

Even if you ONLY want to be socially outgoing when you need to, it’s much better to HAVE the ability, just in case.

Click Here to learn how.

The Staggering Tale Of The Armadillo’s Evolution

Trust Your Instincts

Once there was this little armadillo. He had separated from his tribe, and was starting to get a bit worried. He wasn’t old enough to be out by himself after dark, but he was old enough to start feeling a little frustrated and anxious whenever his parents started to boss him around. So while he was getting a bit concerned, part of him kind of secretly relished the idea of facing the elements on his own for the night. He was an armadillo, after all, and I’m sure you know what that means.

Many people aren’t aware that armadillos tend to be loners, and not hang out in packs. They donâ€™t hunt in packs, as they prefer to scavenge alone for various ground dwelling animals, like squirrels and small rabbits. Occasionally an armadillo will survive on only insects, but it much prefers the meaty taste of a ground squirrel, or even a house. (Although mice are the hardest to catch. They seem to have a sixth sense that keeps him just out of reach of the armadillo).

It wasn’t always like that. Back during the heyday of the armadillos’ evolutionary period, it had several different iterations of itself. For a while it was even capable of short flights, up to a hundred meters on occasion. But Mother Nature soon corrected herself, as the flying armadillo didn’t really have any advantage, from a hunter-gatherer standpoint. It was more of a passing fad than anything else.

But our hero of this particular tale was heading due east, away from the setting sun. This had been programmed into the animal’s instincts by Mother Nature herself, as it just made it easier to forage for food. They started out with the sun at their backs, and scavenged around until the sun hit its apex. When the sun was in front of them, they merely turned and headed back the other direction.

This, incidentally, why armadillos only live in areas near the equator. There used to be quite a large armadillo population in the north, but due to the angle of the rising and setting sun, they never quite headed back at the end of the day to the same spot. So for a while, armadillos seemed to migrate in huge arcs across the northern plains, but that was merely due to the structure of their environment. If you happened to build yourself a time machine, as well as a human armadillo communication device, you would likely find that the armadillos didn’t really have any idea what was going on. They just knew that when they went home every single night, somebody had moved their house. So every night they would have to build a new one, only to find the same thing happen the next day.

(Altough, one would tend to wonder why you should build such a device if you had the technology to do so. You may be better of curing cancer or something, rather than going into the past and interviewing armadillos)

So it makes perfect sense as to why this particular species of northern armadillo didn’t survive.

Back to our story.

So as this young armadillo was following his ever-lengthening shadow, he started seeing thing moving about him that he’d never seen before. These small creatures that looked like mice, but they could fly. And they flew in a strange pattern. They didn’t fly in straight lines like insects; they kind of fluttered about as if they couldn’t see where they were going.

He figured if they couldn’t see where they were going, it would be pretty easy to eat them. So he crept a couple of low flying ones that were close by, and just as he stretched out his mouth, they shrieked this really high-pitched screech, and fluttered out of the way.

Try as he might, and despite getting very close to these strange creatures, he couldn’t sink his jaws into them. It was maidenly frustrating.

Then he heard the voice from behind him:

“Young hunter. You will need to determine more stealth to catch your prey. Despite their seeming ineptness, those creatures are equipped with a guidance system much different than yours. If you want to catch them, you must enter their world. You must learn to see in the dark, and respond to sound, and not sight.”

He turned around, and saw just the faint shadow of whatever creature had spoken to him slither off into the darkness.

He turned, and watched all these delicious fluttering entities that so far had proved to be just out of his reach.

Darkness.

The armadillo closed his eyes, and began to listen for the creatures. He heard cacophony he’d never imagined before. The fluttering of their wings, the insects under his feet, the breeze through the cacti. Suddenly, instinctively, he leapt into the air, and sunk his deeply into a fluttering creature of the night.

It was delicious.

The lost armadillo of the day, whose ancestors had followed the sun in circles across the northern plains, was now a hunter of the night.

Mind Persuasion Archives

Reframing Common Ideas