When I was a kid we had this dirty trick we’d play on each other.
You told your buddy that if you rubbed your palms really hard together, in a certain direction, it would make them smell like roses.
Then when the “sucker” put his palm up to smell it, somebody would push it into his face.
Then everybody would run, and the “sucker” would chase us.
Then we would all go and do it to somebody else.
As you can guess, it didn’t take long before all the kids knew the “con.”
But the structure has been around for a long time.
Using people’s natural tendencies against them.
This is how goofs like Jim Jones build massive cults that willingly follow him to their deaths.
But driving skills, as they say, can be used to drive a getaway car or an ambulance.
Or a hammer can be used to build a beautiful home or to destroy something.
For example, a very common tendency for us humans, when we hear somebody tell us about their big plans, is to question them.
And not neutrally, usually from a slightly “critical” viewpoint.
Trouble is most of us tell ourselves that we’re “just trying to help.”
Like somebody says they are going on a trip alone to a foreign country.
We say something like, “Wow, isn’t that kind dangerous?”
We pretend that we’re concerned, but in reality we’re jealous.
We’d LOVE to be able to do the same thing, but for one reason or another, we don’t.
And most people don’t really like the idea of other people doing all the fun stuff.
So we throw out the “Wow, isn’t that dangerous?” statement, pretending to be concerned, but really trying to throw a tiny wet blanket on their plans.
OF course, since everybody does this to everybody I’m sure you’ve been on the receiving end quite a few times.
What’s the antidote?
To simply do the opposite.
Instead of saying something silly like, “Wow, isn’t that dangerous?” We can ask them a question that PRESUPPOSES they will be able to handle ANYTHING that comes up.
And this actually WILL help them.
Not only that, but it will make them feel much better about what they’re doing.
The cool thing is you can use this “trick” ANY TIME somebody is talking to you about something they want.
Even if they only “halfway” want it.
By the time the finish talking to YOU, they’ll want it a lot more.
And they’ll associate that WANT with YOU.
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