Peanut Butter Burger

Why Giving Advice Sucks

One time I was supposed to meet a couple of friends in Scotland.

I had arrived a couple day earlier. It was for a three week backpacking trip.

However, I had arrived late at night, and I wasn’t sure where I was going to stay.

This was before smartphones, so I couldn’t look anything up easily.

As I was standing there, jet lagged (after flying for twelve hours and taking a train for another three), dazed and confused, an old guy came up.

“Son, you look lost,” he said. He sounded a lot like Sean Connery, but with a mouthful of marbles.

He showed me where a bunch of cheap hotels, for which I was grateful.

Most of the time, though, when some stranger comes out of nowhere to offer advice, it’s rarely taken with a hundred percent gratitude.

Especially if the advice has some kind of ulterior motive behind it.

Most people have heard that giving unasked for advice rarely works.

Why is this?

Consider the presuppositions.

Imagine you’re at the grocery store, looking at the different flavors of peanut butter. You’re going to go home and make a sandwich.

Then some goof comes out of nowhere and acts like he’s the holder of supreme peanut butter knowledge.

What does this presuppose?

It presupposes that before he even introduces himself, he looks at you and KNOWS that HE knows MORE about peanut butter than you do.

Which is kind of insulting.

AND it robs us of the pleasure of peanut butter discovery.

This is why it rarely feels good if somebody we don’t know gives us unasked for advice.

It presupposes they know more about the situation than we do.

Even when people we know give us advice, it still doesn’t feel right.

Because it has the same presupposition of “superiority.”

Unfortunately, for most of us, this ALL WE KNOW when it comes to influencing others.

Sure, we find out a little bit about what they want, but that’s usually just the tip of the iceberg.

Then we proceed to tell them (or suggest to them) why they should do what WE want based on the little information they’ve given us.

It still is kind of insulting.

We’re basically telling them that with only that LITTLE BIT of information, we know MORE about the situation than they do.

This is why any kind of sales always has both low conversation rates and high stress.

You’re GIVING ADIVCE to people hoping they’ll buy something.

Luckily, there is another way.

Not just in sales, but any time you want to influence others.

And it doesn’t rely on YOU at all.

All them. All their ideas. All you’ve got to do is turn off your brain and ask a few questions.

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Super Charisma

Top Secret Charisma Technique

Everybody would like to BE charismatic.

And many (certainly not all) people who consider themselves introverts would like to be more “extroverted,” at least in some situations.

One of the things that messes us up is our instincts.

The easiest to understand is hunger.

It worked great back in the day when we had to hunt for our food.

But today when there are fast food places all over, it’s not such a great asset.

Many of our instincts are like that.

They were designed for the OPPOSITE kind of society that we live in.

How we communicate to others is a perfect example.

Back then, there wasn’t much to talk about.

Since our lives were fairly limited.

Only in the last few hundred years has the amount of STUFF exploded.

Imagine what it must have been like only a few hundred years ago.

Suppose you lived on a farm. What would you daydream about?

You wouldn’t have NEARLY as much stuff in your experience, so you wouldn’t be able to daydream about much.

If you were lucky, you might have had access to books with pictures.

But today, with all the wicked special effects and rapidly advancing technology, we can use THAT stuff to start from.

Which means we can imagine quite a bit.

Which means when you talk to OTHER people about the stuff they like to IMAGINE, you can get them pretty fired up.

But it involves talking to people OPPOSITE of how our monkey brains are wired.

Our egos want to impress them with US and OUR STUFF.

That’s kind of the equivalent if our ancient hunger instinct wanting to eat everything in sight.

It sort of “feels good” but at the same time we sort of suspect it’s not the best strategy.

Luckily, flipping our “conversation switch” to a more modern, effective approach is WAY EASIER than flipping our hunger switch.

All you’ve got to do is FORGET about YOU, and ask about THEM.

And they’ll get fired up, excited to finally talk in detail about the stuff they want.

They’ll remember YOU associated with those feelings.

Which means you can sort of “sneak your way” into their brains as an ultra-charismatic person.

Even if you are an introvert.

Giving you the best of both worlds.

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How To Become Attractive

Why Opposite Usually Works

There are a lot of metaphors about doing the opposite of what you think you should do.

A poem by Rumi, the ancient Sufi poet, wrote about how when we “think” we’re walking into the water, we’re really walking into the fire, and vice versa.

If you’ve ever had a crush on somebody and your instincts told you to tell them EVERYTHING, certain that would get them to reciprocate your feelings, you probably found it had the opposite effect.

There’s that old saying that “what we resist persists.” The more we try to avoid something, the more we seem to make it come true.

What feels good in the short term (like eating cheeseburgers and playing video games) usually plays havoc on out long term success.

Even in Star Wars, Obi Won told Luke to “let go and surrender to the force” because he was trying to hard.

This idea shows up in movies, philosophy and everywhere in between.

There was even one episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza did everything the “opposite way” and it worked like a charm.

(Of course, since it was a comedy, he’d do things like walk up to gorgeous women several inches taller than him, tell them he was unemployed and lived with is parents, and they’d fall madly in love with him.)

How can we apply this to real life?

One way is how we get our ideas across to others.

We think if we say the magic words or become super persuasive with our ideas (backed by our pictures in our mind) we’ll somehow override the pictures and ideas in the minds of others.

But if they are doing the same thing (which most everybody is) then it turns into an “idea contest.” Or a “who can describe their ideas the best” contest.

The interesting thing is our ideas are pretty vague. Ours and everybody else’s.

Which means if you ditch your ideas (just for a little bit) and expand THEIR ideas, something pretty cool will happen.

One is they’ve likely never had anybody do this before.

Two is that the bigger their ideas (wants needs and desires) get, the “stickier” they’ll get.

Meaning they’ll start to see EVERYTHING (including you) through their newly expanded wants, needs and desires.

If you look at everything through a blue filter, everything will look blue.

If they look at everything through their wants, needs, and desires, they’ll see that as well.

It’s not intuitive, it’s certainly opposite, but it works like crazy.

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Happy Boy

How To Impress Nearly Everybody

One thing I’m a big sucker for is kitchen gadgets.

I like to cook, and I like buying stuff.

Once I was walking from one section of town to another, where all the taxis were. I decided to cut through a big building which contained a department store in the basement.

I was intending to just use the restroom on my way to the taxi stand. But when I came out I’d purchased an espresso machine.

As long as it doesn’t create problems (like racking up huge credit card debt) buying stuff is pretty fun.

Especially when you’ve had your eye on something for a while.

It’s cool to do research, find out all you can about something.

One thing that can ruin this experience is a high-pressure sales person.

One of the reasons we don’t like them is they try to put THEIR ideas into our heads.

Like if you’re looking at an espresso machine, for example, and some salesperson comes up and starts rattling off all the features and benefits of all the different machines.

“This one is ultra high capacity! It can produce seventeen gallons of espresso per minute, making you the star of all those coffee parties you plan on having!”

The “feature-benefit” strategy is great if the customer doesn’t really know what they want, AND they are willing to let the salesperson fill their brain with a bunch of strange ideas. (like a rapid fire espresso machine).

Unfortunately, this rarely works.

And equally unfortunately, this is the communication style most of us use.

When we meet somebody for the first time, it’s natural to want to “impress” them for one reason or another. Get them to like us.

But if you start spitting out stories (like the time you went skydiving and your chute didn’t open and you had to build a backup parachute out of your socks), they MAY be impressed, but then again, they may not.

If you mix in any kind of anxiety, trying to tell impressive stories can be pretty difficult.

Luckily, there’s a much EASIER way. A much more simple way.

One you can use no matter what you’ve done, or what you haven’t done.

And it will work on pretty much anybody.

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Don't Listen To This Guy!

Switch Your Girl Getting Mindset

It’s easy for guys to fall into the “soul mate” trap.

If you don’t have a lot of experience with women, any attention that any one can give you may seem like a life changing event.

But when you understand that women don’t really like a guy (on a subconscious level) that makes himself too available, it’s easy to see why this isn’t such a good strategy.

From a guy’s perspective it works like this.

He interacts with a girl, and she gives him some positive signals. Maybe even some sex.

And because the guy doesn’t have a lot of experience with girls, his inner caveman brain wants him to hang on for dear life.

Because he doesn’t have much sexual history, and sex feels so fantastic, every part of him is screaming at him to hang on at all costs.

This presents itself, through his behavior, of being needy and always available.

This, of course, KILLS any attraction the girl has for him.

Now, you could “pretend” to not be needy, only text her once every couple days, etc.

But if you have little experience with women, this is nearly impossible.

What’s the solution?

Start talking to girls (all girls, not just ones you’re interested in) AS OFTEN as you can.

This will build up your experience with women.

So when you DO meet a girl who is into you, you won’t have that “needy” or “desperate” response.

Because you’ll have the experience that GIRLS ARE EVERYWHERE. And ONE of them is not really THAT important.

Not only will this attitude and believe make it less likely to mess up with girls that are into you, but it will make you MORE ATTRACTIVE to most girls.

Which will give you a MUCH BETTER problem to have.

When you switch from the unhelpful, “I-hope-I-don’t-lose-her” thinking to the MUCH more helpful, “hmm, which one should I choose?”

Click Here To Learn How

Get Massive Confidence

Massive Confidence Drills

Here’s a goofy experiment to try.

Cold approach a bunch of girls, but specifically DON’T ask for their number.

Meaning walk up, say an obviously cheesy line, but DO NOT number close.

Just talk to her enough to get her smiling, and then split.

She’ll give you a priceless look.

Because she’s likely never experienced this before.

Most guys walk up to her, a little nervous, and ALWAYS with the intention of getting her number.

So when you purposely DON’T ask for her number, she won’t really know what’s going on.

Sure, the first couple of times it may feel kind of strange.

But after you see the look on her face, it will feel pretty cool.

It’s a very SUBTLE (and it HAS to be subtle) way of saying, “I’m confident enough to talk to you, make you smile, but I’ve got more important things than beg you for attention.”

If you keep a playful attitude, she’ll wonder what the heck is going on.

Do this enough, and you’ll build up MASSIVE confidence.

World class athletes are world class because they practice A LOT.

World class ANYBODY is world class because they practice a lot.

So see these as approach drills. Since you’re NOT EVER going to ask for ANYBODY’S number (nor give yours when she asks) there’s no chance of rejection.

These drills will build up MASSIVE confidence.

The kind of confidence that pulls high quality women out of the woodwork.

All eager to meet you.

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Desperation Is Not Attractive

Why You Should Never Chase

Most humans would love to have a simple, step by step solution to pretty much anything.

Like “what do I say to her to make her like me?”

Just imagine if there really WAS a “magic sentence” you could say to a girl (any girl) that would make her “like you.”

You’d say it, and she’d like you. But then somebody else would say it to her, and she’d like him.

In reality, there IS a simple way to make a LOT of girls like you.

And that is to differentiate yourself from every other lazy guy out there looking for magic tricks.

How do you do that?

Express your interest in her, but not in a needy way.

Always have something cooking that is MORE IMPORTANT than her.

Give her the pleasure of missing you, so she can use her imagination to conjure up romantic images of you.

This, however, is VERY HARD to fake.

If you’ve ever liked a girl more than she likes you, you know what I mean.

Every time she texts you, you go crazy trying to think of the right thing and the right time and the right frequency.

Luckily, if you take the time to CREATE SOMETHING that really WILL be more important than her, this will happen naturally.

Think of it this way, if you CHASE her, she’ll run away.

This will only work for a little bit, until it loses its charm. Women have been more or less following men for most of human history.

On the other hand if you CHASE your life, she’ll CHASE you.

Which means you need to figure out WHAT you will chase for your life.

And think of the girls as the added benefit.

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How To Stand Out

How To Project Attractive Behavior

Women are much better than guys at reading body language.

They step into a party and know right away who’s into whom, and who’s not.

Which means if you are radiating the wrong “energy,” there’s not much you can do to build attraction.

When I say “energy” I mean the sum total of all your gestures, movements, voice tone, etc.

All of your non-verbal communication and behavior.

Men get attracted by how she looks.

Women get attracted by how men behave.

What behavior does she like?

Or more importantly, what behavior makes her attracted, whether she likes it or not?

Somebody who is not needy. Somebody that thinks she’s cute, but isn’t desperate for her company.

Somebody that looks at women and thinks, “Hmm, she’s cute, but cute girls are a dime a dozen. I wonder what her personality is like?”

Somebody that is confident in their own skin.

Now, she doesn’t think all of this consciously. She just FEELS IT. And usually within a few seconds.

Unfortunately, if she’s NOT feeling it, there’s not much you can do.

On the other hand, if she IS feeling it, there’s not much you NEED to do.

Just smile and say, “Hi,” and wait to see what she ways.

How do you build this behavior?

More importantly, how do you build this behavior so you radiate it naturally, wherever you go, without needing to think?

It’s pretty easy.

It’s just a matter of your frame of mind that you train in.

Most guys rely on their “factory settings” in their brain.

But your mindset, how you see the world, how you see girls, is pretty easy to shift.

And once you do, you’ll be amazed how much better everything looks.

Click Here To Learn How

Conquer The Planet - Not Women

Never Let Her Catch You

It’s been said that there are two great tragedies in life.

Not achieving your goals, and achieving them.

What in the world does this mean?

If you achieve them, it feels cool for a while. But then what? Contrary to popular desires, having something isn’t nearly as rewarding as pursuing something.

So long as that something is big and important to you, for your own reasons.

Humans feel on purpose in the pursuit.

That’s when we feel most alive.

So when we get to a point where we finally get there, we lose that feeling of being “on purpose.”

On the other hand, if we ever have to face a reality that our goals are absolutely unobtainable, that sucks even more.

One of the crazy ways this plays out is with females and relationships.

Women are hard wired to chase, but not quite get.

So when they “get” (or think they get) it messes everything up.

This story plays out again and again.

Girl is attracted to a guy. Girl chases guy, and “gets” him. Then she “domesticates” him.

But once he’s “domesticated,” she no longer feels the thrill of the chase, or the “spark of romance” in the relationship.

She has him, but it’s not the same as ALMOST having him.

She gets bored, and she starts to look elsewhere for the same excitement.

The poor guy, of course, has no idea what’s going on.

How can you avoid this?

Never let her “fully” catch you.

ALWAYS be chasing something, so she always has to chase you.

Don’t ruin it (for both of you) by letting her catch you.

Always have something big that you’re pursuing.

Even if it’s decades out in the future.

If you have something HUGE (according to you) that you are pursuing, this is the most attractive thing a woman can find.

A Driven Man who has big plans for his life.

She’ll test you, she’ll want to control you, but deep down, she WANTS to keep chasing you.

Let her, and always be one step ahead.

Click Here To Learn How

All Girls Want You

Choose From The Girls Who Chase You

Once you are in the beginning stages of dating a girl, there is a LOT of uncertainty.

How often to text, when to text, what to say, when to call.

It can help to understand a couple of things.

One is she has absolutely no control of how she feels about you.

If humans could control our feelings, none of us would be overweight. We would simply decide to not be hungry.

Or there wouldn’t be such a wide range of food available.

If we could control how we felt, we could simply “decide” to enjoy a protein shake as much as a cheeseburger. Then we would all be skinny and there would be no need for any fast food restaurants.

Luckily, this isn’t the case.

What determines her feelings for you?

Your BEHAVIOR.

Think about music. They say that the space in between the notes are just as important as the notes themselves.

Take Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. Change the tempo and cram all the notes in a few seconds. It would sound horrendous.

What makes it so beautiful is HOW the notes are spaced out.

So in the beginning, HOW you space yourself out (your communication with her) is JUST as important as what you say and do when you are with her.

Here’s the second important idea.

All of human instincts were baked into our DNA when we were hunter gatherers.

When there were no phones, no way to communicate other than face to face talking (or grunting or whatever).

For a caveman’s ENTIRE LIFE, a guy and his girl were ALWAYS APART during the day WITHOUT communication.

Sometimes days at a time.

Which means if you are going to create attraction that resonates with her deep self, texting is going to hurt much more likely than it’s going to help.

Of course, this is VERY HARD to do (not text) when you’re totally into her.

This is why it’s a good idea to NOT CHASE girls. Instead, get them to chase you.

How do you do that?

Build a huge dream for yourself. Something YOU are chasing your entire life.

This will change your behavior and communication style in a dramatic way.

Girls will notice this. And then you’ll notice them noticing them.

Then you can just pick from whichever you want, and let her chase you.

Click Here To Learn How