Here are a few quick tips on how you can easily and rapidly win people over to your way of thinking. Many times you’ll find yourself in a conversation with somebody, and you would really like to sway their opinion, but you have no idea how.
Maybe you want to convince your husband that you should go on vacation to Disneyworld instead of the Grand Canyon. Maybe you want to convince your girlfriend that seeing Transformers 7 is a better choice than that love story she wants to see. Maybe you’d like to persuade your boss to try out a new idea at work that you are sure will be successful.
Idea number one is that everybody is always concerned with their own bottom line. How it will affect them. What do you they stand to gain if they agree with you, and everything works out? What do they stand to lose if your plan backfires?
Whenever trying to convince others of your ideas, maximize the benefits, and minimize the drawbacks. The key here is that many times people’s bottom line is to protect their ego, their time, and their finances. Study after study has shown that one of the most powerful persuading factors is the fear of losing something somebody already has.
So you’ve got to convince them there isn’t much, if anything, to lose, and there is a lot of potential gain. And even if there are potential losses, you can frame them in a positive light.
In order to do this, you’ve got to have a good idea of what’s important to the person you’re trying to persuade. If you know what they are afraid of losing, then all the better.
Frame what you want to do in terms of what they like, or what’s important to them, and let them know as specifically as possible that they stand a very little chance of experiencing any loss.
For example, if you are trying to convince your husband to go to Disneyworld, and he wants to go to the Grand Canyon, think of some things he’s really enjoyed on trips before, either with you or trips that he’s talked about before. And think of things that he didn’t like on trips before, either with you or trip’s he’s talked about.
And show how he will experience many of the things he likes at Disneyworld, and you will make sure to help guard against the things he doesn’t like.
In a business relationship, it helps to frame things in best-case scenario, complete with specific benefits and worse case scenario. In the worse case scenario, be sure to show that there will even be gain in the worse case scenario.
For example, if you are an assistant manager of a pizza shop, and you think adding spaghetti and lasagna to the menu would be a good idea. Best case, of course, would be more customers, a wider range of customers, dine in customers instead of only take out customers.
Worse case, nobody buys lasagna or spaghetti, but when you try to upsell when people order a pizza, you might get some intelligence on your competitors that are selling lasagna and pizza. You might think you are in competition with only other pizza stores, but when you add spaghetti or lasagna to the menu, you are able to learn from a whole new range of competitors, which in turn can help out the pizza side of the business.
When most people try to persuade, either in business relationships, sales or personal relationships, they usually only focus on the positive outcome, (or many times even the negative outcome if they don’t go along with your idea).
Rarely does a persuader not only acknowledge the person’s aversion for loss, but also assures them that by taking action, they stand a very small chance of losing something that is important to them.
By openly acknowledging the person’s fears of losing something, be it face, time or money, you are communicating a deep honest concern for their well being that is usually ignored by salespeople and other persuaders.
When you can communicate this honest concern to others, you persuasion skills with naturally increase dramatically.