Category Archives: Confidence

Instantly Kill Social Anxiety And Let Your Brilliance Shine

And our next speaker will be telling us the exciting news about [insert your specialty here], please show a warm welcome for [YOU]!

You stride up to the podium, completely calm, right? Not a worry at all, right? No probably don’t even need note cards, since when you speak in front of a large crowd you feel the same as though you are speaking to an old friend over a couple of beers, right?

How about this. You are meeting a friend for a drink, you think it’s going to be just the two of you. You show up, and there are about six people that you don’t know. You slowly walk up to the table, and your buddy says “Hey! He’s here! I’ve been telling these guys all about you!” They all beam looks of expectation you’d normally see just before the curtain opens at Cirque du Soleil. Of course, since you are completely at ease and outgoing without need for any preparation going into any social situation, you can handle this situation flawlessly, right?

Or how about this. You see a fantastically attractive member of the opposite sex standing across the room. You flirt with your eyes a few times, and you’re pretty sure you see a brief flash of something that could be a smile. Of course, being the socially at ease person you are, you naturally stroll over, confident that your social and conversation skills are sufficient to easily decide within a few minutes of conversation whether this person is a match for you or not. Right?

Well, if you fall a bit short in the above situations, please raise your hand and join the human race. Social anxiety is one of the biggest obstacles known to mankind. People consistently rank the fear of public speaking higher even than dying. There’s a reason at high school dances boys stand on one side of the gym, and girls on the other. 

Luckily, I have a couple tricks that can help you easily overcome this. One is a realization that you probably already know, and the other is some mental practice that you can do that will consistently give you an edge as you practice it.

First the realization. What are you thinking of in these situations? If you can, imagine now that you are in one of the above situations, and pay attention to your thoughts. What are you thinking of? Your faults? Your weaknesses? The worst thing that can happen (or more accurately about a billion worst things that can happen?) Well guess what, whenever you are in a social situation, everybody thinks those thoughts. People don’t have near enough brain energy to focus on their own worst fears AND be cognizant of what you might be afraid of at the time.

Of course, this is easy to forget when you are hit with the unexpected adrenalin shot of social pressure, but the more you practice remembering, the easier it will get.

This realization really sunk in for me when I was taking a public speaking class. During one of the speeches, I was the first to go. I don’t what it was, maybe because I was talking about a subject that I was really familiar with, or the teacher was really nice, I’m not sure. But I was really relaxed. And during the middle my speech, I paused and actually scanned the room and noticed the expressions on everybody’s faces. They were all terrified. They were all thinking “oh no i’m next!” I probably could have been speaking Portuguese, and they wouldn’t have noticed.

Many times people will pretend they are not nervous, but trust me, they are doing their best to keep their game face while they think “oh no oh no what do I say???”

The trick I spoke of earlier is to focus outward as much as possible whenever you are in those situations that can make you feel less than comfortable. The idea is to stay out of your head as much as possible. Focus on their eyes, their nose, how their lips move when they talk, their boobs (ok, maybe not the boobs,) their ears, earrings, mustache, haircut. Try to figure out from their breath what they ate last, the sounds in the room, their posture, how many different colors they are wearing. Anything to keep the focus OUT side your head.

Of course, they key is to remember these two tricks when you get into those situations. If you know you are going to be in a situation, like a speech or a first or second date, no problem. Just make sure to rehearse doing this in your mind beforehand.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are suddenly on the spot unexpected, it’s good to set up a signal system to help you remember the two keys:

They are just as afraid as you.

Focus on physical things to reduce your own fear.

One thing you might do is use the pegging technique, and attach one to each thumb. Of course, like any new mind technique, it will take some practice. Another way to do this is to purposely go into situations that make you feel a little anxious and then just practice these techniques until you become natural.

While you might not become incredibly charismatic overnight, the more you practice these techniques, the easier it will be for you to be at ease in all situations, so you can feel relaxed enough to share your true self with the world. You owe the rest of us that much.

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Model of The World

“Really, you know you can do it. Just take a deep breath.”
“No, dude, I really can’t. I swear, it’s impossible.”

 
“Impossible? Why is it impossible?”
“It just is. If I drive over that bridge, I’ll die. I’ll have a panic attack or something. My heart will freeze up or something.”

 
“Ok, let me get this straight. If you drive over that bridge, you will die. But if I drive, you won’t drive.”
“Yea.”

 
“So it’s not actually the water that will kill you, it’s the combination of the water and the steering wheel? The brake pedal? The accelerator? How exactly does that work? How do you know that will happen?”
“What do you mean how will I know? I just know.”

 
“What if you could run through your thinking in slow slow motion. Like if they made a clone of somebody that was exactly like you, but they forgot to put in that piece of information about dying while driving over a bridge, how would you tell that clone to program that into his brain? What or how would he have to think for that to happen?”
“Well, first, wait! Why am I supposed to give this to somebody else? I don’t want it, why should he want it?”

 
“Just pretend, ok? So what would you tell him?”
“Well first, you see the water, and then you feel the car moving, and then, you get this, I dunno, tightness, and then you just know. You will die.”

 
“Ok, water, car moving, tightness, you’re gonna die. Got it.”
“Are we done yet?”

 
“No, well yea, well almost. Where did you learn this?”
“What do you mean?”

 
“This model of the world, it’s very interesting. Where or who from did you learn this model of the world?”
“I’m not sure, man.”

 
“I mean was there a time where water plus driving plus tightness meant something else? And for some reason you decided to make them equal death, that is when you mix them together right? Where exactly did you learn this model of the world? Did you see it on TV or something?”
“Wow, I never thought of it that way. I guess that time I was a kid. When I heard that that kid drowned.”

 
“Wow, sounds terrible. What happened?”
“These kids were jumping off a bridge, and their mom wasn’t paying attention, and one of them hit his head, and then died.”

 
“Were you there?”
“No, but I think my mom told me about it. To make me be careful and not jump off bridges, I guess.”

 
“Do you trust your mom?”
“Of course.”

 
“Did you ever jump off a bridge after that?”
“Um, nope, never.”

 
“So your mom’s story worked, right?”
“Yep.”

 
“You’re safe, right?”
“Yep.”

 
“Did she say anything about driving over bridges? Or only jumping.”
“Dude I was only six.”

 
“So you made up the driving part yourself. Did you understand driving at the time, how it works, how to go to the DMV and get a license and all that?”
“Dude, I was only six.”

 
“So maybe the driving part was a mistake?”
“Yea, I guess so.”

 
“Are you read to go?”
“Yea.”

 
“You want me to drive?”
“No, man, I got it.”

 
“Good.”

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The Power of Focus

Drifting aimlessly. Meandering here and there. Wandering up and down, back and forth, left and right. Not traveling in any discernable direction. Seemingly without aim or purpose. Reacting, rather than acting. Reacting automatically to an environment that is as unpredictable as the earth is old. These are your thoughts. And unless you learn to control your thoughts, your thoughts will control you.

Unfortunately if you allow that to happen, which all too many people do, you place yourself under the control of a infinitely complex feedback loop to which you have no option other than follow blindly, and hope everything works out.  You know too well that it rarely does.

And the worse part is that those times when it doesn’t work out, although it seems like the responsibility lies outside your wonderfully developed mind-body biological system, in truth, the responsibility lies with you. And only you. I believe it was Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin that said it best.

Of course, it doesn’t have to be that way. God, Mother Nature, the wonderfully random process of Darwinian Natural Selection, whoever or whatever it was that created you, didn’t create such a magnificent collection of cells and bones and muscles, and your fantastically powerful brain to just wander aimlessly through life.

You were created for a purpose, a reason, a destination. You are a missile with a highly sophisticated guidance system that scientiests are just now starting to understand. And known to only a few people, and put into practice by even fewer, is one of the easiest ways to harness the awesome power of your mind. To develop the power of concentration.

Remember when you were a kid, and you or some of your friends would play with a magnifying glass? You could take a very inexpensive magnifying glass, even one made of cheap plastic, and use it to focus the passive rays of the sun into incredible power. Power to burn, power to start fires. That power was harnessed by taking only a minuscule sliver of the suns total power and focusing it. The sun is a giant ball of fire, much bigger than the Earth fueled by the process of nuclear fusion, changing hydrogen atoms into helium atoms. One substance, one process, and enough energy to power an entire planet through eon after eon.

Your brain is infinitely more complex and intricate than that. Infinitely more rich. Infinitely more resourceful. The sun produces heat, and fire, and radiation. Your brain can produce ideas, which can turn into cities, art, cathedrals, poems, songs, equations. Whatever you can imagine, you can create. And you have the power to focus yourself.  Strengthen your mind so you focus your thoughts only on what supports and enlightens you. Focus your thoughts only on ideas that can increase happiness and abundance for you and those you love.

How to do that? How to gain that elusive power that through simple practice will give you an edge almost unheard of in today’s world?

Consistent practice. Opposite of the practice of meditation, in which you practice the emptying of your mind. To practice focus, think of an object. An apple. A bright red apple. Hold the thought in your mind of only an apple. Hold it for as long as you can. If you can hold it for five seconds, you’re doing pretty good. Practice whenever you get a chance. Red lights. In the bathroom. On the elevator. Decide to choose a thought, and hold only that thought for as long as you can.

When you can hold a simple thought, of a simple picture, move on to more complicated pictures. Ones containing a small amount of motion. A hummingbird floating next to a feeder. A clown juggling three bowling balls. A seal with a phone book balanced on its nose.

When you get good at that, you can move on to the next step. You’ll need to prepare yourself with five fantastic memories. If you ever notice your thoughts drifting to unhappy imaginations about the future, you can pull up your five happy memories, and force out the bad guys.

Start by remembering a happy memory from childhood. Really get into it. Close your eyes and easily allow yourself to float back into that memory. Really relive it. Relive it several times. Every time you relive this, put the memory into your left thumb. That’s right, put that wonderful memory into your left thumb. Use what you learned about pegging in the articles on memory and associate that memory with your left thumb.

Do the same with your forefinger, middle finger, ring finger and pinky. Take your time. They don’t have to be childhood memories. Any good memory will do. Make sure it’s a strong, powerful memory. Sex, money, sports, anything that causes you to automatically remember good feelings will work.

You might need to practice a few times before it really sets. But after you take the time to really attach those good memories to your left hand, you will have a powerful source to instantly and powerfully re direct your brain should you ever find yourself thinking less than supportive thoughts. Just open your left hand, and take a moment with your thumb and your fingers recalling all those good memories you’ve programmed in. Once you cycle through all five, make a fist and hold it up to sybolically chase the bad thoughts that have crept into your brain.

After you do this consciously a few times you won’t even have to recall the memories. By training your brain in this manner, simply by clenching your left hand into a fist will immediately flood your brain with good thoughts.

In future articles, I will teach you how install resources, goals, and other skills so you can automatically direct your brain, giving you the power to accomplish great things in your life.

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Deliver a Powerfully Persuasive Speech

You stand up slowly, and turn to face the room. You face the spellbound crowd, waiting to hear your wisdom. You pause to collect your thoughts, imagining exactly how you want the crowd to respond to your call to action, knowing full well they will once they hear your irresistible message. You take a deep breath, not to calm your nerves, but to give your voice power and strength, enough to capture the attention and imagination of those sitting in the back row.

You can do this naturally and easily, because you have the learned the skill of persuasive oratory. You have learned to project your message so those that hear cannot help but to do what you say. In case you’ve forgotten this skill, here are a few pointers to help you remember:

Step One

Start with a powerful attention getter. Something that will yank thier minds away from their normal everyday thoughts and towards your incredibly moving message. Once I gave a speech to my local toastmasters group on fear, how to embrace fear and use fear to your advantage. My attention getter? I screamed at the top of my lungs as if I was terrified. Did it work? Absolutely!

Step Two

Pace your audience. Say things that they can’t help but agree with.

“Today’s economy is tough.”
(No matter how bad or good the economy is, people will agree with that statement.)

“You all want to get ahead in life.”
(Who doesn’t?)

“You’ve come here to improve yourself.”
 (Who hasn’t?)

Spend three or four mintues getting your audience comfortable with agreeing with what you are saying.

Step Three

Demonstrate that you know about what they need. Identify their pain. Show them that you understand what it is they want.

“You are having problems making ends meet.”
“You need to improve your skills so you can make more money.”
“You want to be able to increase your sales.”

You will need to tailor the above statements to meet the specific needs of the people you are speaking to. If you tell a book club they need to increase their life insurance, they might disagree with you. But if you tell a group of soon to be graduating college students they need to sharpen their resume building and interview skills, they’re more likely to agree with you. 

Step Four

Introduce the pain of non-action. Now, it might sound mean to purposely cause somebody pain, but if your purpose is to help them in the long run, and if you believe by doing what you say, it will benefit them, it’s ok.

“If you don’t get your resume as good as your competition, you won’t get the job you want.”
“If you don’t practice and sharpen your interview skills, the person sitting next to you will get hired instead of you.”

Step Five

A call to action. Review their needs, the pain of non action, and then give them a specific step to move in the direction that you want them to go. (Please note, if you tell them to go in a direction that will only benefit you and not them, then you should become friends with this guy.)  If you are truly giving advice that will help others, make sure you will benefit as well. Win win situations are the best.

The more you realize that simply because you have life experience that can benefit others, the more you will be able to not only help out people, but increase your skills and help yourself out as well.

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Eruption

Once upon a time there were two rabbits.  Rupert and Rectangle. They were hanging out, doing rabbit stuff. Looking for carrots, finding turtles to race, and resting from making more rabbits, as it was their day off. Rupert, the younger rabbit, decided he wanted to make a model volcano. Kind of like Peter Brady, only without the electricity. Most rabbit experts will tell you that rabbits generally don’t use electricity.

So this young rabbit was building this volcano, but he couldn’t quite get it to work right. He didn’t have the lava mix quite down. I think he was using a combination of egg whites and mulch, or perhaps some kind of gelatin derivative.  He kept getting really frustrated, and he was about to give up. The wise older rabbit, Rectangle, said “Don’t give up yet, Rupert!” But Rupert just threw down his volcano making tools in dismay.

“Nothing is going right. I want to do this, and instead it does that. I want to make it lean right, and it wants to lean left.”

“Relax, Rupert relax. Go with the flow. Don’t fight against the natural order of things. It will come in time. It always does. Just remember to do things one step at a time. If it doesn’t go the way you want it, change what you are doing. Step back, take a bigger look, and figure out what to try next. It’s only practice, after all.”

Poor ruper was following along, but he didn’t quite understand the last part. “Practice? Practice for what?”

“Why tomorrow, of course. Everything you do today, is just practice for tomorrow. Because if you allow yourself to release your expectations, and let things be just the way they are, you’ll be fine. As long as you learn from what happens, you can do it better next time. Especially because you always have tomorrow to look forward to, right?”

“I guess so,” Rupert replied, “But how will I ever finish, if I only practice?”

“Take a look around you young sir, take a look at everything. Does everything look finished to you? Are all your friends not still growing? Are all the trees not still getting bigger? Does father not upgrade and improve your rabbit hole every winter? Do you not need to learn new things in school every year? Does your Uncle, the carrot farmer, not have to learn new carrot planting methods every year? Practice. It’s all just practice.”

 “Practice for tomorrow. I got it,” Rupert said, getting back to work on his volcano.

“And one of the best parts about realizing that everything is practice for tomorrow, is that no matter how bad you mess up or how well you do, you can always look forward to being able to get better.”

And Rupert proceeded to make the best volcano ever.

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The Power of The Throat Chakra

Imagine you walk into a room. You walk up to a group of people that you haven’t met yet. They look up when they see you. Curious. Curious because you carry yourself with complete confidence and poise. Curious because you have a look on your face that tells them that what you are about to say is very important. You open your mouth to speak, and all their thoughts are forgotten as they turn to wait to hear your opinion, your thoughts, your guidance.

Now some people, when they read that, might think “oh, no, I could never do that,” or something along those lines. But that is only because they haven’t been able to discover the power that everyone possesses. They aren’t able to discover the wisdom that everyone can express to share with others.

The reason is not a matter of knowledge, or experience, or expertise. The main concern here is one of communication. If you can find a way to embrace and express your truth, then without question people will listen. And one powerful way to begin to do that is by opening the Fifth, or Throat Chakra.

The Throat Chakra is all about communication, expression, persuasion. The more open your Throat Chakra will be, the more naturally and easily you will persuade others to your point of view. And you know as well as anybody else that people throughout history have been able to use this power both for good and for evil. I’m not going to give examples of either, because I’m sure you can think of plenty.

Before you begin your meditation on the Throat Chakra, ask yourself the following questions. Remember, as I’ve said in my other articles about the Chakras, you don’t have to get clear answers, just ask the questions, and be open for any responses that come.

What is truth?
What is my truth?
What are my desires?
How do my desires coincide with those of others?
How do all of us want the same thing?
How do I want people to think, feel, respond when I speak my truth?

Take a deep breath, slow. In. Out. As you exhale, imagine a small blue ball of light appear at your throat. Allow it to grow in size, slowly, with each exhale. Imagine the infinite wisdom of the universe breath through you into slowly growing ball of blue light. Allow it to grow slowly, until it is completely surrounding you. Sit inside for seven deep slow, breaths. After seven breaths, slowly allow it to shrink back down into our throat. Still filled with the wisdom of the universe, channeled through you, resting in your throat center, waiting to power your expressions.

How does it feel, now, as you sit there, to have such power resting in your throat, awaiting for you to express your truth? How much can you help others, now, that you know you have such power? What can you give? What can you share?

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Snakes on a Slope

This morning I was walking down the steps from the temple where I do my morning Qi Kong exercise, when I noticed a large snake stretched across one of the steps about halfway down.  It was almost, but not quite stretched out perfectly straight, as if he was seeing if he could stretch from one side of the step to the other. He hadn’t quite made it when I almost stepped on him. I paused and waited for him to finish his trek across the step. I wasn’t sure where he was going, but as I wasn’t in any rush, I didn’t ask him to hurry up. I’ve never really had any fears of snakes. Although once I was at a place called “Snake Alley” in Taipei, Taiwan, which is a street with a lot of weird shops. Some of which are shops which specialize in snakes. (Hence the name.) There was a woman standing outside with a rather large boa constrictor trying to entice customers to enter. I had just finished my second shot of snake blood liquor, (at least that’s what they said it was) when I decided to ask the woman if I could take a picture with her.

She didn’t speak English, and I don’t speak Chinese, so she misunderstood me. She didn’t realize that I wanted to take a picture with her and the snake, and thought I wanted to take a picture with only the snake. As I stood next to her, and handed my camera to my snake blood liquor waiter, she proceeded to take the rather large boa constrictor and drape it around my neck. As I stood smiling for the snake blood liquor waiter to take what seemed like several long minutes to figure out my digital camera, the snake started to explore the side of my face with it’s tongue.  Finally, the waiter snapped a couple of photos and that was that.

I have a friend that would pass out cold if something like that happened to him. He is deathly afraid of snakes. Yet he is an avid skier, and the only time I went skiing with him, I was petrified to follow him down some of the jagged rock exposed, triple diamond runs he went on for fun.

He has been able to develop a skill which allows him to see a potentially dangerous situation as something to use to have lots of fun. He has gone on that particular run so many times, that his experience tells him that everything is ok. I, on the other hand, haven’t yet been able to develop good experience with respect to skiing, and perhaps I never will. For me, it is just too scary to think about being able to put in the effort in getting good at that so the good feelings naturally outweigh the bad.

It’s interesting when two people can look at the same experience and have two completely different interpretations of it.  It’s not like either of the snakes really had the time to decide whether they wanted to eat me or not. Besides, I don’t even like snake meat.

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Follow The Yellow Brick Road

“Yea, but I’m not sure if you understand what I mean.”
“I think I have a general idea of what you mean.”
“I’m starting to think you really don’t.”
“So tell me again, what is it exactly that you think you mean?”
“Ok. I went into the bank.”
“Did you want to get a loan?”
“No, no, that was last week.”
“Did the loan come through yet?”
“Well, yea, I mean, no, not yet, but it’s guaranteed.”
“You mean like guaranteed, guaranteed?”
“No, not like that, I mean, I should get it, it’s just a matter of time.”
“I got ya. So what’s the problem. What happened today?”
“Well, I was about to ask the teller about the hair thing she was wearing…”
“Hair thing?”
“Yea, you know, those things they wear in the back, like some giant pony tail clip, but it has like a design on it or something…”
“Yea, I know what you’re talking about. I bought one for my girlfriend once.”
“Lisa?”
“No, no my ex girlfriend, from like three years ago.”
“Oh, yea, ok. I remember her. Cheryl, right?”
“Charlene.”
“Oh yea. You still talk?”
“No, not really. Not like we’re mad. The split was cool and everything.”
“So you never see her?”
“Sometimes, I saw her at the club a few weeks ago.”
“The club? I thought you said you quit that a long time ago? Too loud or something?”
“No..no… I saw her at the gym.”
“Got it.”
“So tell me about this girl with a clipboard?”
“A clip, man a clip.”
“What, a paper clip? You got yelled at by a girl with a paper clip?”
“No, dude, one of those clips in her hair.”
“Oh, yea. Ok. So why’d she yell at you?”
“I don’t know. That’s the thing. On the hair clip were all those old wizard of oz dudes.”
“You mean like the lion and the scarecrow, and that other metal guy?”
“The tin man.”
“Yea, the tin man.”
“So which one is your favorite?”
“The lion, dude, the lion.”
“Why the lion?”
“Cause he always had his courage inside the whole time, and he finally figured out.”
“Yea, that is cool. So what did Miss Oz say to you that upset you so much?”
“Well nothing really.”
“What do you mean, nothing really?”
“Well I was just going to tell her I liked her head clip oz thing, and she turned and said ‘HANG ON!'”
“Did you ask her what she meant?”
“I didn’t get a chance, because she hung up the phone and stormed off.”
“Um, wait a sec. She was on the phone?”
“Well, yea.”
“So she looked at you when she said that? Pointed at you or something, right?”
“Well not really.”
“So how did you know she was yelling at you and not at some guy over the phone?”
“She yelled at me the exact same way my mom used to yell at me when I was a kid.”
“And you think she went out of her way to research your past and dig up some secret recordings and listen to them and practice screaming just like your mom used to, and then sat there and waited, and pretended to be on the phone? And..”
“Dude…”
“And she even found out you liked the cowardly lion so she wore that specific hair oz clipboard thing on purpose just to lure you in so she could lower the boom on you and then stomp off without even waiting to see how you’d respond?”
“Well when you put it like that…”
“Dude, you should go offer an apology and an invitation to go see The Wizard of Oz, there’s a special showing tonight over at The Triplex.”
“Dude, really? Tonight? The Triplex? That place over the Anderson’s?”
“No, dude, that’s the duplex. You want the Triplex, over on 17th.”
“Hmm. Yea, that’s a pretty idea, man. I think I’ll do that.”
“Well you better hurry up before whatever guy was on the phone changes his mind.”
“Jeez, you’re right. See ya around man. Thanks.”
“Later.”

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Develop Powerful Listening Skills

Have you ever been talking to somebody and had a feeling that they just ‘got you?’ Like somehow you felt like this person really understood you, like this person was really concerned for your best interests? Like somehow this person was able to see who you really are? That made you feel pretty good, right? Of course it did. That was because this person, either on purpose or because they were simply a natural, was practicing great listening skills. How would you like to be that person, and make others feel really good whenever they are around you? Well, listening is easy if you know how to do it. Which you are about to. Ready?

Step One.  The most important part is to listen not only with your ears, but with your eyes, your mouth and your whole face. You want the other person to be able to see you respond to them as they speak. Professional speakers will gladly tell you how important feedback is.

Step Two. Make sure to face the speaker with an open posture, and to maintain good eye contact. You want to be looking into their eyes about eighty percent of the time. This lets them know that you find them interesting.

Step Three. As they are speaking, form a picture in your mind of what they are saying. This can help you to naturally get involved in the conversation.

Step Four.  If you find that they are voicing an opinion that you happen to disagree with, instead of thinking of arguments against it, try to find common ground, or at least try to see things from their point of view.

Step Five. Ask good questions. If you’ve read my article on open ended questions, you already know how to do this. If you haven’t, I recommend that you check it out. It can make the conversation flow and you can be the star of the party.

These quick techniques will not only immediately boost your charisma, but they will also give you great social confidence, because everyone loves somebody like you that knows how to listen.

Please be sure to check back often, as I will be updating this site frequently. And please feel free to share this with others, because everybody can benefit when you increase your skills, right?

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Instant Powerful Luck

Have you ever had one of those days where everything just seemed to flow? Everything just happened exactly the right way at exactly the right moment? As if the gods of serendipity spun the wheel of chance  and it landed on YOU, giving you the grace of their attentions for a short while?

How surprised will you be to discover that there really are no gods of serendipity, that everything that happened that day, all those lucky circumstances, were in fact, created by YOU?  And how impressed will you be with yourself when you discover the simple and natural way to cultivate the powers already in your possession so much that others will want to hang around you in hopes of catching just a small sliver of your stray luck?

It’s easy, it’s fun, and it makes you feel really good.  Ready?

Step One.  Train your brain to look for opportunities. How can I use that? What can I learn from this experience, how can I make these learnings my own? Start slow. After every experience, as yourself, “What did I learn from that,” and more importantly, “How can I do better next time?”

Step Two. Have a forward pointing outlook. You want to learn from your past, not wallow in it. There is a reason your front windshield a car is about hundred times bigger than the rearview mirror. Looking back is for information only. For learnings. Looking forward is for choice. Where do you want to go?

Step Three. There is no failure. You can learn from everything. If you start to realize that you can learn from every interaction you will be training your brain to look forward to EVERYTHING with the knowledge that regardless of what happens, you can only get better and better.

Step Four: Ask self affirming questions. Not “why not,” but how? Not “why didn’t I,” but “what did I?” Not “why can’t I?” but “How can I?” One powerful way of doing this is to ask yourself questions like this as you fall asleep at night. “How can I improve myself tomorrow? How many ways can I find opportunities tomorrow?” Once you send your brain in the right direction, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you can achieve what you want. 

Step Five.  Help other people, without any expectation of a thanks or even an acknowledgement. You will increase you confidence, your charisma, and both of these are necessary to attract the good things in life.

So there you have it. The sooner you start to take small steps to easily and naturally take these principles as part of your life, the easier you will notice that you can almost without trying, take advantage of the opportunties that you will start to see growing around you as if by some mysterious force. But of course, you know the truth, now, don’t you?

Please come back often for more helpful articles, and tell your friends to come check out this site as well, because I will be updating it often.

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