Have you ever been talking to somebody and had a feeling that they just ‘got you?’ Like somehow you felt like this person really understood you, like this person was really concerned for your best interests? Like somehow this person was able to see who you really are? That made you feel pretty good, right? Of course it did. That was becauseÂ this person, either on purpose or because they were simply a natural, was practicing great listening skills. How would you like to be that person, and make others feel really good whenever they are around you? Well, listening is easy if you know how to do it. Which you are about to. Ready?
Step One.Â The most important part is to listen not only with your ears, but withÂ your eyes, your mouth and your whole face. You want the other person to be able to see you respond to them as they speak. Professional speakers will gladlyÂ tell you how important feedback is.
Step Two.Â Make sure to face the speaker with an open posture, and to maintain good eye contact. You want to be looking into their eyes about eighty percent of the time. This lets them know that you find them interesting.
Step Three. As they are speaking, form a picture in your mind of what they are saying. This can help you to naturally get involved in the conversation.
Step Four.Â If you find that they are voicing an opinion that you happen to disagree with, instead of thinking of arguments against it, try to find common ground, or at least try to see things from their point of view.
Step Five. Ask good questions. If you’ve read my article on open ended questions, you already know how to do this. If you haven’t, I recommend that you check it out. It can make the conversation flow and youÂ can beÂ the star of the party.
These quick techniques will not only immediately boost your charisma, but they will alsoÂ give you great social confidence, because everyone loves somebody like youÂ that knows how to listen.
Please be sure to check back often, as I will be updating this site frequently. And please feel free to share this with others, because everybody can benefit when you increase your skills, right?