Author Archives: george

The Magical Power of Rapport

Try a little mind experiment with me. Imagine a friend of yours, one that you’ve known for a long time. You trust that person, right? If they suggested that you do something,and it didn’t sound too crazy, you’d probably do it, right? Me too. Now imagine if somebody that you didn’t know came up to you, and asked you out of the blue to do the exact same thing. How would you react? Probably the same way I would . Tell the person no thanks. If they persisted, then tell them to get lost.

What’s missing from this is a feeling of connection. A deep feeling of similarity with this person. Similar beliefs, ideas, experiences. It’s very hard for somebody that hasn’t known you for a long time to create this feeling. But what if there was? What if there were a secret method, known only to a few of how to create this feeling?

This technique is called rapport. The word rapport is probably familiar to you, but unfortunately it gets thrown around so much, not too many people really understand the power behind it. Rapport is that deep feeling that you experience when you are really connecting with somebody on an unconscious level. And the best part about it, is it’s really easy to do.

Here’s how.

The first step in rapport is to match body language of the person that you want to persuade. Mirror them as much as you can without getting caught. When they shift, you shift. This is so simple, yet so mindbogglingly powerful its amazing so many people don’t use this on a daily basis. If they are slouched a little bit, you slouch a little bit. If they are resting their elbow on the table, you rest your elbow on the table. I’m not going to even begin to describe how powerful this is on a first date, because I’m sure you can think of many ways you can use this.

The next step is to match their speech, as closely as possible. This one is a lot more complicated, because most people feel weird when speaking in a voice that is not ‘normal’ for them. It gets easier the more you do it, though. It’s important to match their tone and speed. If they speak really fast, you speak really fast. If they speak slow, and pause a lot, you speak slow and pause a lot.

The next step is to see their point of view. This doesn’t mean agreeing with everything they say. This means listening, not interrupting, and really making an effort to see things from their point of view. Even if they have a belief which is diametrically opposed to yours, one such controversial topics such as abortion and gun control, hold your tongue. Listen patiently, and at least let them know that you respect their opinion, and you can see how they would have such an opinion. This is a major stumbling block for people. So much so that some people refuse to date or even be friends with people that have opposite opinions than theirs. This can be very limiting, as being able to see opinions from viewpoints than your own can be very rewarding.

These are just the beginning steps of developing deep rapport with somebody that you want persuade. But because they are so powerful, once you master these, you will have an edge over almost anyone you meet.

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Breath In Power, Breath Out Fear

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel that ‘blah’ kind of feeling? You just can’t get into a groove. Not like you are in a bad mood or anything, but you just don’t feel very inspired. You just want to hurry up and go home, and watch TV and forget about the outside world. Sometimes those days happen more often that I’d like. I’m not sure what causes it, maybe different bio rhythms or perhaps sunspots or something. If you are one of the lucky ones, and this rarely happens to you, I’m sure you know some people that have experienced this.

The tricky part is how to pull yourself out of this funk. When you realize that being in this funky state is not very productive, on any level, it seems to be a goal in and of itself to move yourself up to a higher level. One of the things that is so difficult of being in this ‘blah’ state is because it’s really not that painful, it’s easy to feel comfortable, so you lose sight of what it felt like when you were on top of things. And the longer you stay in this ‘blah’ frame of mind, the more difficult it seems to get out.

Recently I’ve discovered a method that helps me to keep out of that state on a daily basis. It’s kind of a visualization/breathing exercise I’ve been doing lately that I’d like to share.

What you do is get in a comfortable standing position. Bend your knees slightly, and let your arms hang at your sides.  Slowly exhale all you breath, until your lungs are completely empty. Then wait, just a few seconds, until you can feel that strong desire to breath begin to grow. Then slowly inhale, until your lungs are full. The key point is that as you slowly inhale, make sure to really feel appreciation for the air that is filling your lungs.  Imagine the appreciation starting at your root chakra, and then slowly filling up the line in front of your spine. When you have your lungs filled, imagine a ball of energy in your brain. Imagine that this ball of energy is pure appreciation, and let this energy of appreciation saturate all your neural connections in your brain, going into all your memories, all your thoughts, and all your plans for the future.

Hold the breath, and the imaginary ball of energy in your brain, for a few seconds. Just like the inhale, wait before you feel the need to exhale, and then exhale slowly. Imagine the ball of energy as a sponge which has soaked up all the negative energy it found while saturating your brain out into the universe.

Do this several times, the more the better. I practice Spring Forest Qi Gong every morning, and use this visualization while I inhale and exhale. It’s a great way to start the day, and can go a long ways to give you that nice relaxed, ‘can do’ frame of mind to carry with you throughout the day. And you’ll also find that when you start to practice this on a daily basis, you’ll inoculate yourself from any stray negative emotions that used to come your way.

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Supercharge Your Abundance in Ten Minutes a Day

You’ve seen them on Oprah. You’ve seen “The Secret” in bookstores, websites, maybe even in TV commercials. You’ve probably even read “The Secret” or watched the DVD, or at the very least some of the many other “Law of Attraction” videos on Youtube. (Personally I recommend Abraham Hicks.  Those are awesome).

Are you rich? Do you have so much money you need to hire people to take care of it for you? Are you so incredibly charismatic that you attract the opposite sex as if you had hundred dollar bills falling out of your pockets? Do you eat bucket after bucket of ice cream and still manage to show off your six pack abs? Do you wish Larry King and Barbara Walters would just leave you alone for once and find somebody else to interview on TV?

Ok, me neither.

I am, however, going to give you three tips, so when you practice these on a regular basis, not only will they will slowly (but surely) transform your life into what you want to create, (rather than end up with,) but they will give you incredibly self esteem and confidence. One of the fantastic side effects of these techniques is that they will skyrocket your confidence and self esteem to levels unheard of in common people.

Ready? Lets go.

Step Number One: Set a Clear Goal.

Ok, you’ve heard this one a bazillion times before. But what does it really mean? If you don’t spend at least several hours journaling and thinking and rejournaling your goal, you aren’t putting in enough effort. And I don’t mean some small goal, like “I want to lose give pounds,” or “I want to get a 5% raise at work.” Dream big. Think big. Live big. Think of your dream career, or what your dream life would be, and describe it in as much detail as follows. What do you see?  What do you feel, What do you taste and smell? Describe in as much sensory detail as possible, and describe it in the present tense. Some examples:

I enjoy my career as a film editor, working from my spacious and paid for home and enjoying free time to spend with loved ones.
I enjoy my ideal weight of one hundred and forty pounds, and easily run a 10K in less than forty minutes, every weekend.
I enjoy a fantastic mutually supportive relationship based on trust, communication, and sexual and emotional intimacy.

Get the idea? Keep going through this until when you read your statement, you get “that” feeling that tells you that this is what you really want.

Step Number Two: Visualize Your Goal Every Morning

Sit somewhere quiet, and say your goal out loud, and while you do so, close your eyes and visualize everything that you described. Anything that must require your goal to already be achieved is what you want to see. And see as many different pictures as possible. Hear as many different sounds as possible, taste and feel as many tastes and feelings as possible. The more you see, feel, hear, taste, smell, the more powerful you will program your brain with this. Be sure to visualize pictures that require your goal being already true to exist. For the film editor, see yourself in your house, doing film editing stuff. Hear people telling you over the phone what a great job you did on that last project. See your name up in lights if that’s what you want. Do this every morning for at least five minutes per clearly stated goal.

Step Number Three: Feel Gratitude for the Steps You’ve Taken

Before bed every night, say your goal again. Scan your memory of that particular day, and feel gratitude FOR YOURSELF for taking any action you took day in the direction of your goal. If you haven’t done anything, feel gratitude that you meditated on your goal that morning. Even if you did something accidentally (that is if you still believe in accidents) that moved you toward your goal, give yourself thanks for that.  The key here is to feel genuine and honest gratitude FOR YOURSELF for every small thing you did. Do this every night for at least five minutes per clearly stated goal.

When you do these steps consistently you will notice that your life will magically change, as you do things that you used to not do, but now seem normal that are pushing and pulling you toward your dream life. And the cool thing is, the only work you really have to do is in step one, where you spend a few hours hammering out a really clearly defined goal. Once that is out of the way, it’s pretty much an exercise in putting your brain on auto pilot.

I would recommend only starting out with one big solid goal. Once you’ve got that ironed out, and you are spending your ten daily minutes (five at night and five in the morning) you can add more goals. I wouldn’t recommend having any more than five or six major goals at once, so be sure to spread them out over different areas of life. Money, Love, Work, Spirituality, Health. Once you’ve got a goal in each of these areas that you are meditating on twice a day, you’ll be amazed how much incredible purpose your life will take on. And others will notice as well.
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Powerfully Supercharge Your Affirmations

Affirmations can be the quickest and easiest to apply method to powerfully transform not only what you think is possible about your capabilities, but about the world that you live in. All of us have unconscious thoughts and messages that we pick up from teachers, coaches, adults in authority, or even from ourselves that play over and over again. Whether you know it or not, you use affirmations on a daily basis. Unfortunately, messages give to us by adults to keep us safe, can also keep us from achieving the goals we desire later in life. Messages of guidance can easily transform into messages of limitation.

There is a way to change these messages to give yourself incredible confidence, self esteem, and personal power. When you finish reading this article, you’ll easily be able to create simple affirmations that you can use to propel yourself to automatic success. There are three simple rules to learn, so that your affirmations will have a maximum effect.

Rule Number One: State Them in the Positive.

You want to focus on what you want, rather than you don’t want. Instead of focusing on losing five pounds, focus on being your ideal weight. Instead of focusing on quitting smoking, focus on breathing fresh, healthy air with every breath. Instead of focusing on quitting eating ice cream for breakfast, focus on eating healthy foods that support a healthy body.

Rule Number Two: State Things in the Present Tense.

Instead of saying “I want to weight 150,” pounds, say “I weight 150 pounds.” Instead of saying “I want to cut back on the number of sweets,” say “I only eat healthy food.” Instead of saying “I will quit smoking next week,” say “I only breath fresh clean air with every breath.”

Rule Number Three: Avoid “Be” verbs and use Powerful Action Verbs

Instead of saying “I am confident,” say “I behave confidently in every situation.” Instead of saying “I weigh 150 pounds,” say “My behavior easily supports a healthy weight of 150 pounds.” Instead of saying “I am a non smoker,” say “I treat my lungs and body with respect and always inhale clean, fresh air.”

If you can, try this now. Choose something that you want  to create in life, and apply these three rules, and say it out loud. How does that feel? The more empowered you feel, right now, as you say your affirmation is an indication of how you will take it as your truth the more you say it. When you say something that causes you to feel a strong emotion, your brain will be much more likely to accept it.

The best time to say these is as you fall asleep at night. This can be a golden opportunity to powerfully program your subconscious for automatic success generation. Ideally, you want to live your life so that you can naturally and easily get what you want without a lot of effort.

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Reincarnation

The other day I got into a discussion with a friend of mine about reincarnation. Actually it wasn’t specifically reincarnation per se, but more along the lines of past lives. My friend was adamant that it is a complete hallucination and that all stories of past lives are made up either consciously for attention, or unconsciously to be able to deal with past experiences in this life that are too painful to face.

While I”m not a full fledged card carrying member of any official past lives network (If they indeed exist), I do believe their is something valuable at least in the concept of past lives. There is just too much about the mind and the whole concept of reality that we all share to be really sure of anything.

Of course, if you are a religious person, you can take solace in your beliefs, whatever they may be. Personally, I used to be a deep believer in the Catholic Church. There was even a time when I went to daily mass. But the more I read different texts on different subjects from different cultures, the more I realized that there has got to be a more inclusive explanation for everything. But I digress.

My friend was telling me about different case studies where they’ve hypnotized people and have done what they call “pass life regressions.” Under hypnosis, they slowly take the person back through several lives and the person describes things as they are being regressed. Supposedly a researcher in this field has done with thousands of people and has come to some startling conclusions. Certain people who claimed to have lived before in ancient China, for example, all accurately described the clothing that was worn at the time. This is either a strange coincidence, a extremely well planned hoax, or something else entirely.

My friend claims that this study only shows that the hypnotist is only cleverly using hypnotic techniques to plant memories into people. If that were the case, then of course you would expect most people to come up with the same answers about people living in ancient China.

I’m not so sure. Perhaps we do go through this life several times. Perhaps these people weren’t regressing to previous lives at all, perhaps they were merely tapping into the superconscious. The giant storehouse of all information ever known or to be known by all sentient entities that have lived or ever will live. Or maybe it is just gigantic shared hallucination.

In the end, my friend and I agreed to disagree. He thinks everything is explainable by current biological science. While I agree that ultimately science must explain everything, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a whole lot of science that we have discovered yet, or are even capable of understanding.  The general belief among cultural anthropologists is that any yet to be discovered technology, when shown to a more primitive society, will be treated by them as magic. Perhaps all of this is some kind of magic, on some level.

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Share the most Wonderful Gift – You

Do you remember what it was like when you were a kid, and and you got a new toy? It was a cool thing, you couldn’t wait to go and run to your friends so that you could share this with them? You might have even brought it to school for a few days until your teacher told you it would be best left at home?
What about when you saw a really good movie? And and you couldn’t wait to tell all your friends about this? Word of mouth advertising has always been an integral part of many products on many levels.

Imagine what you felt like when you had a friend that brought something to you. They were happy and excited, and wanted to share a new toy or idea with you. How did that make you feel? If you are like most people. you were moved to excitement more by your friends enthusiasm than the actual toy or comic book he wanted to show you.

That’s one of great things that you naturally are skilled at. Being able to share an emotion with somebody and have them reflect that emotion back to you without any conscious thought. If you present and share that emotion congruently, they almost can’t help to reflect it back to you. This holds true for all emotions. Imagine a time when somebody shared a sad emotion with you. Did you feel sad as well, at a little bit? I’m not talking about those people that are always complaining, looking for fake sympathy from others. I’m talking about somebody who is suffering from real emotional pain. When you hear them describe their experience, you can’t help being moved as well.

That is one of the reasons we like movies and stories so much. There is nothing like a good tear jerker or inspirational drama to capture and lead your emotions around. This idea has been around for a long time. The Greeks realized this with their many plays, and their word for it, catharsis, is still used today to describe an emotional experience achieved by hearing or watching somebody else’s, usually through drama or sometimes music.

What emotions are you sharing with others, and what emotions are you picking up from others? Sadness? Happiness? Gratitude. When you keep in mind that others can reflect your own emotions back to you, a good idea is to reflect an appreciation. But not just your garden variety appreciation for the birds and the wind and the money in your pocket. That will get you a reflection for more appreciation for the birds and the wind and the money in your pocket, which is great, but what happens if you, as Emeril Lagasse says “kick it up a notch?”

What if you walk through life radiating a deep and honest appreciation for yourself? What if you could share a love for yourself like you shared that new toy when you were a kid? What if you had an honest gratitude for who you are, and ran around saying “Hey everybody, look at this! Isn’t this cool?” Just like everybody wanted to run over and play with your new toy, what if everybody came running today, and wanted to experience with the new you that you find so cool?

This is not a overfilled ego demanding attention. This is the expression of the deep, honest, appreciation that you will undoubtedly feel for yourself when you really examine the miracle that is you. You owe the world that much.

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Your Magical Self Exercise

I was at this weird seminar a few years ago, and there was an exercise called a ‘magic self’ exercise. I’ve used it sporadically over the years, and I think it’s a valuable meditation practice that can help you become the person that you want to be. It’s fairly easy to learn, so here’s how you do it. Please note that although this procedure is more for men, females can still benefit.

You will be creating four mythical imaginary characters. You will use these characters to charge yourself with their characteristics. Repeated practice, of course, will yield better and quicker results. The characters are based on “archetypes” which were originally described by Karl Jung. He was a psychiatrist who noticed that many of his patients had the same elements in their dreams. He came up with the idea of different archetypes that comprise our personalities. Many psychologists believe that if you are lacking in some area of your life, it is the corresponding archetype that needs work.

Here are the four for the magical self exercise.

King

This is whatever king, real or imagined, that you admire, and would follow into battle if you were a soldier. Any king from history, stories, cartoons, books will work. I sometimes imagine the king from “Lord of the Rings,” sometimes the Tokugawa character from “Shogun,” and sometimes I make one up. The key is that you trust and respect the leadership skills and wisdom of this king enough so that you would follow him into battle and risk your life for the cause he chooses.

Warrior

This is a fierce warrior, that if you could choose any fighter from history to be like, you’d choose this guy. Achilles from Troy, Conan from any of the Conan movies, Any of Toshiro Mifune’s characters. Clint Eastwood’s “the man with no name.” Anybody that if you could magically take on his qualities, you feel you could whip anybody in a fight.

Lover

This is most skilled and accomplished seducer of women you can imagine. Johnny Depp’s character from “Don Juan DeMarco” is a fantastic model for this.

Joker

This is the character that never takes anything seriously. Always playing jokes on other people. Always sneaking in where he’s not supposed to be and causing trouble. Harpo Marx and Bugs Bunny are good role models for this.

Here’s how you do the exercise. Create a space where you can stand and turn around and spread your arms out. If you can imagine a circle surrounding you. If you have the space, imagine another circle outside the circle you are standing. So in your imagination, you are standing in the middle of two concentric circles that are approximately two and three meters in diameter.

You stand in the middle, and close your eyes. Take seven deep, slow breaths. Close your eyes. Imagine each character standing in outer ring of your circle. Slowly turn and face where each imaginary character is standing. Exhale all your breath, and then slowly open your eyes. As you inhale, imagine all the energy from that particular character flowing directly from their chest into yours. If you can visualize a chord of energy, gold or silver, or whatever, fantastic. After you’ve inhaled all their energy, close your eyes, and silently thank them. Slowly turn, exhale, and inhale the next characters energy.

After you inhale each characters energy, with your eyes closed, take another seven slow breaths and imagine that all their characteristics are mixing in the perfect level to help you with whatever you need assistance with. Once your are finished, clap your hands a couple of times, and then forget about it.

The trick is to move through life, and be open for instances where you show your new characteristics when appropriate, but you don’t force it too much. The more open and accepting for these new changes in you to show up, and quicker they’ll come.

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The Urge to Increase Your Choice

Men and women throughout time have struggled to make sense of life. What is the reason behind the seemingly constant struggle? Why must we continue to do the same things over and over while paradoxically staying in the same place? I’m sure you’ve felt that way from time to time. Get up in the morning. Go to work, go through a days work, with as little trouble as possible. Come home, perhaps stopping at the gym on the way home, or perhaps the corner bar or other place to relax and unwind. The next day, you do the same thing.

I was finishing up a workout once, and a guy with a particularly well defined body which indicated the amount of effort he’d put into it, said

“Well, go home force myself to eat healthy food, watch TV, fall asleep, wake up, go to work come back here, work out, take a shower, and do it all over again.”

There is a character in Lewis Carol’s Alice in Wonderland called the red queen. She tells Alice that in order to stay in place, you have to keep running.
But does it have to be that way? Do you have to do the same thing day in, day out, on some path that you chose how many years ago? Is that the meaning of life? To struggle through elementary school, junior high school, university if that’s your thing, then as Bob Dylan said “twenty years of schoolin and they put you on the day shift.”

It doesn’t have to be that way. One of the reasons humans have catapulted themselves to the front of the line in the race of evolution is our adaptability. The beauty of mother nature is that we can go through life completely oblivious to the idea of having a choice and still manage to have a successful career and family, and produce more copies of ourselves. Which is all mother nature really cares about. She gave us the internal drives and desires that are strong enough so that even if try and ignore them, they will drive us forward. For most of human history, these basic urges have drove humanity to build cities, cathedrals, beautiful works of art.

But what happens when you examine your urges? What happens when instead of blindly following these to eat, make money, have sex, build a family, you not only accept these urges as a natural part of you, but channel them, even harness them, to help you create the life that you want?

What would that be like?

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Sing Your Truth

I was watching this documentary about the power of music. It was about how music has been used for tens of thousands of years from primitive tribes to modern times to convey emotional stories filled with hidden esoteric meanings. I remember when I took a piano class a few years ago, and the instructor was saying how music is an integral part to our deep psyche. When we are in the womb, we hear the thump thump thump of our mother’s heart, pumping the blood carrying nutrients not only to her body, but directly to ours as well.

Then when we are born we have that thump thump thump always going. The consistent steady beat that circulates our body with life itself. Night and day, the cycle of the seasons, and the moon and the tides are all reminders that we are in a rhythmic cycle within a rhythmic cycle within a rhythmic cycle. All the world’s religions use music or chanting of some sort to connect to the divine. Whales sing to each other. Even dolphins communicate in a sing song click click that scientists believe conveys meaning through it’s frequency, as does the caws of crows, and the singing of larks.

Brain waves themselves can be altered by music. Anthropologists believe this was the primary driving force behind the propensity for primitive tribes to gather in sacred places and play their drums in specific frequencies. These drum beats literally lowered the brain waves of the participants to levels that allowed for states of hypnogogic imagery and creativity.

Music can be created to deliver emotions of all ranges. Music can soothe your soul, lighten your heart, and bring tears to your eyes, all within minutes. Evolutionary biologists believe that singing in birds is primarily to attract mates. They also postulate that the factor behind the explosive growth of the human brain over the past million years was due to exactly that. Sexual competition within the species over the hundreds of millennia. Is it any wonder that rock stars are known for the flocks of groupies that literally throw themselves at them?

It’s one thing to write sweet words, it’s yet another to say them. But it’s on an entirely different level of evolutionary success to belt out a song with a thumping beat to back you up. Where I live, karaoke is very popular, but many people are too shy to sing in front of friends, or feel the need to lubricate themselves before they feel comfortable. Their missing out on one of the greatest ways to kill that imaginary shell that keeps you inside your imagination.

What if it turns out that it wasn’t the quality of the song that drove us to evolutionary leaps, but the courage to boldly stand up and sing without fear, without quarter and with unabashed confidence? What if it wasn’t the words at all, but the bass in our voice, and the flamboyant charisma that their sound created? Think about this next time you have the opportunity to sing. Don’t let it pass you by. Take it. Make it yours. Sing your truth.

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Give Yourself the Gift of Power

If you study great leaders, actors, even kings, you’ll find one common thread about how they move through the world.  You will find one quality that they possess which makes others absolutely captivated by them and moved to support for their cause, whatever it may be. Luckily, we live in a time and a society where those that have this power generally use it for the benefit of man. There have been those leaders in the past who have used this power for evil, and have nearly destroyed whole societies in process. I don’t want to bring down my blog with the mere mention of these evil men, but I’m sure you can imagine who I’m talking about.

What is this quality that they possess? Perhaps more importantly, how can you not only develop this quality, but realize that you already have it? How can you tap this power to make your life a bold statement of the eternal gift that lives in all of us? What steps can you take to easily realize and appreciate this latent power?

First, let’s explore exactly what it is. The one thing that these leaders and kings have is a solid belief that they are the ultimate creators of their life. They are responsible for everything that they achieve, or don’t achieve. Perhaps due to some quirk of their upbringing, perhaps due to a strong conscious choice followed through by strong action, these men and women have decided at some point that their lives were completely up to them. They didn’t wait for permission. They didn’t wait for their parents or teachers to tell them it was ok. They didn’t hear a booming voice through parted clouds that gave them a detailed plan to follow to ensure their success.

No, these powerful men and women learned that everything they wanted, they would have to create. They were able to release the need for approval, guaranteed safety, or the generous opinions of others. They made a choice, and followed through. Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead.

How about you? What is holding you back? What are you afraid to release? Are you too concerned with the opinions of others? This can be a difficult thing to let go of.  A kind word from an authoritative figure an make you feel wonderful. A not so kind word can have the opposite effect. The secret to overcoming this is to view yourself as the ultimate authority on your life. You must give yourself the appreciation that you hope to receive from others. It can help to realize that no other person can fully know you as well as you know yourself. Any appreciation or kind opinions they express about your are really filtered through their own experiences and biases, so both good and bad can only have a limited amount of relevance.

When you learn to approve of yourself, your desires, your intentions, above all others, you will realize your power. You will be able to see the world as your playground, where you can enjoy life and create what you want at the same time. You will then learn the wonderful truth about reality that the quickest and easiest way to get what you want is to truly serve others. And not serve others in hopes of a quick, shallow, reciprocation. To truly serve others is to do so in secret, because it allows them to fully appreciate your gift, and it is a powerful message to yourself that you have all you need, and don’t need to rely on the opinions of others any more.

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