Expand Your Desire

The Wolf Of Shave Ice

There are a lot of skills you can learn.

Unfortunately, we humans don’t really like doings things unless we have to, or there is a VERY compelling reason.

For example, plenty of “diets” are based on celebrities.

Like the Daniel Craig (James Bond) diet, for example.

Want to know the real secret of the Daniel Craig diet?

It’s got nothing to do with what he eats.

It has EVERYTHING to do with the incentives.

If YOU got paid millions to take your shirt off in the movies, you’d probably be able to get pretty ripped as well.

Unfortunately, few of us will ever be given a guarantee like that.

We normal humans have to try our best just to get a chance.

But then again, guys and gals like Daniel Craig didn’t get lucky.

It wasn’t like he was just strolling down the street one day and some Hollywood dude rolled up in his limo and asked if he wanted to play James Bond.

Usually people that have that much success started building it when they were very young.

Take Bill Gates, for example.

When he was a teenager, LONG BEFORE he even thought about an “operating system” he was hustling.

Meaning he was always trying things to see if he could make money.

Or that guy in the “Wolf of Wall ST.” movie.

(Jordan Belfort played by DiCaprio)

Before he was a wolf of wall street, before he even knew ANYTHING about wall street, he and his buddies sold shave ice on the beach.

On their own, they bought the raw materials (ice, flavoring, some kind of cart, etc.) and in one summer they netted 10K.

Nobody told them what to do. Nobody game them any guarantees.

They just had a deep DRIVE to succeed, and they went out and made it happen.

If you check your favorite Actors page on IMDB, you’ll see the same story.

Most A-listers today started when they were VERY YOUNG.

Even AC DC teaches the same story.

“It’s a long way to the top if you want to Rock n Roll…”

But here’s the thing.

That DRIVE isn’t just in SOME people.

It’s in EVERYBODY.

YOU.

Sure, some people are “lucky” in that they find a quick and easy way to “monetize” this natural human drive.

But it only SEEMS easy when we look at them AFTER they succeed.

Every huge success had the same fears, worries and concerns.

But they pushed through them, and kept their eyes on the prize.

So can you.

Learn How:

Entrepreneurial Mind

Flow

Resonate The Flow Of Life

What does it mean to be “Self Actualized?”

Some say this is being at the top of our potential.

Of performing as effectively as we can.

According to Maslow’s famous hierarchy, we need to satisfy “lower” need before we can satisfy “higher” needs.

Once we get these lower needs out of the way, (food, safety, sex,) we can move up the ladder.

But is it possible to “be” self actualized?

After all, you can’t just stop eating. What happens when you’re at the top of the “self actualized” pyramid and you get hungry?

Or what happens if everything’s perfect, your living your “higher purpose” but then an earthquake hits, and your house starts falling apart?

There’s a saying in enlightenment circles, “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”

Meaning that no matter HOW “enlightened” you become, you still gotta eat. You still have to put on your seatbelt. You still have to pay your electric bill or else all your ice cream will melt.

Consider that “self actualization” is not a destination, like Las Vegas.

Where you can see it up ahead, and you whoop and holler when you cross the border.

Consider that “self actualization” is a delicate balance.

When you, an unfathomably complex mind-body system, is operating at a high level of efficiency.

Csikszentmihalyi (seriously!) studied athletes. When they are “self actualized” he called it a “flow state.” Those RARE moments when they act purely unconsciously, when they “be the ball.”

When conscious thought stops and they perform with utmost efficiency, grace and skill.

But here’s the thing.

Even the BEST athletes only experience true “flow” sporadically.

After all, if they could reproduce it at will, they would never lose.

What does that mean for us normal humans?

Can we EVER become self actualized?

Yes, yes we can.

How?

Consider a couple of simple concepts.

One is we can NEVER predict the future.

Which means every time we take action, something UNEXPECTED will happen.

And every time something unexpected happens, we learn something.

This means that every single time we do something, we IMPROVE our ability to look out our future and decide what to do.

Since we are ALWAYS updating our “map of reality” we can NEVER arrive at point where we understand everything.

Which means being “self actualized” is an orientation, a way operating, rather than a static state.

Kind of like a high performance race car. The engine is only “self actualized” on straight roads when it can hit those high RPMs.

Consider that the MOST “actualized” we can be is when success is just out of reach, and we are operating as efficiently as we can to get there.

And lucky for us, the more we succeed, the more we CAN succeed.

Learn How:

Entrepreneurial Mind

Keep Planning

Secrets Of Human Civilization

There are two very simple, yet very profound ideas about human nature.

These two simple ideas are what drives the world economy.

This same two simple ideas have driven all human inventions.

What are they?

They are not metaphysical, they are not deep insights or esoteric ideas about who we are.

Just two traits that we all share.

And by understanding these two simple traits, you will gain an understanding into every single thing people say and do.

What are they?

The first one is that we have an infinite amount of wants.

This a real, biological fact. Right now, reading these words, there is a few things that you want, more than anything else.

I’m not referring to those things you “wish” were true, like being more famous or taller or having different color hair.

I’m talking about real human wants and needs. Things you will take action to fulfil.

Eating, breathing, getting up and moving around.

And most importantly, buying things.

If we humans had to fulfil ALL of our needs on our own, we would be in very sorry shape.

Imagine having to grow your own cotton, turn it into cloth and make your own clothes!

Those infinite number of needs will ALWAYS be there.

As long as you are breathing, and eating, and digesting, and eliminating, at your very basic core, you will NEVER be satisfied.

And neither will every other human.

What’s the second truth?

Is that all of these wants and needs are ORDINAL.

What?

All we know is that we want SOME of our needs MORE than others.

In fact, very few, if any, are equal.

There is always a hierarchy of needs. There are always some needs and wants we label as “more important” than others.

Why is this important?

Because sometimes we HAVE something we don’t want.

And we WANT something we don’t have.

This presents a FANTASTIC opportunity.

What’s that?

Trade.

Little kids trading sandwiches, ancient tribes trading bear skins for fish, or modern humans at the mall trading a couple bucks for a cheeseburger.

This, at its core, is the story of human existence.

Because we want more, because we always want things in a hierarchy, and because we have the instinctive ability to trade with one another, we use our creative minds to keep inventing new things.

This is why once upon a time there was nothing but people and animals and dirt.

And how there are tons of highly advanced technological wonders.

All you’ve got to do is get in the game, and get some.

Learn How:

Entrepreneurial Mind

It Sees All - It Knows All

Unlock Life’s Puzzles

I remember back in college my roommate had one of those 3D books.

The kind that looked like some abstract picture, but if you stared at it, you could see some 3D object.

It took me a while (longer than most) but when I “got it” it was pretty cool.

And once you “got it” on one picture, you could “get it’ on a lot of other pictures.

Optical illusions are cool because they leverage one of our “shortcuts” in thinking.

Because it takes a lot of brain processor time to look at EVERYTHING every single time, our brain has a kind of “cache” memory.

Scientists believe that up to forty percent of what we see isn’t what we’re REALLY seeing.

It’s what we’re ASSUMING based on that “cache.”

So when we look at an optical illusion, something that is PURPOSELY drawn differently in some way, it kind of sends our brain into a loop.

Like in Excel or any other spreadsheet program where you try and “divide by zero.”

These can be fun, but they can also cause problems.

Like when we’re trying to do something IMPORTANT (not look at some goofy picture) and we keep getting mistakes.

One of the problems with our brains is we tend to generalize quite a bit.

We also distort and delete.

If we had to process EVERY SINGLE THING outside of our senses, we’d go insane.

In order to keep up, we’ve got to “perceive” the bare minimum.

But if we’re getting the bare minimum wrong (which is pretty easy considering the small sliver of stuff we perceive compared to what is actually there) it can be maddening.

Of course “wrong” is purely subjective.

Imagine if you were trying to drive a car, and you perceived the world as if it were an optical illusion, like those stairs that go all over the place!

(It’d be like the movie, “Inception!”)

Luckily, once you recalibrate what’s out there, and more importantly the part that will help you get where you want to go, it’s pretty easy.

Kind of like those optical illusion puzzles.

Once you “get” one of them, you can “get” all of them.

And once you figure out how to “get” one thing you want, you can use the same strategy for everything else.

Learn How:

End Self Sabotage

Crash Through Barriers

Overcome Duration Mismatch

Imagine going on a bike ride with a friend.

Only you were on a tandem bike. And both of you were pedaling at different frequencies.

It would be frustrating. You’d be much better off on two separate bikes, so you could pedal at your own rate.

Back in the days before banks became speculation machines, they had something called “duration mismatch.”

People would deposit their money to earn interest. And then the bank would loan out that money, to earn MORE interest.

The theory was that the bank made their money from the difference. If they paid out 2% interest on deposits, and charged 5% interest on loans, they’d pocket the 3% difference.

Only the loans (money going out) were for fixed terms. Usually long terms. Car loans are five years. Home loans are fifteen or thirty years.

But the deposits (money coming in) could be pulled out at any time.

Even if people got a CD (certificate of deposit) to get a higher interest, it was for only a year.

So the money coming IN was short term. The money going OUT was long term.

The trick was to make sure it was always in balance.

When the Great Depression happened, all the money was pulled out, and plenty of banks went out of business.

When humans do things, (or try to do things) there are always different “levels.”

Like in the short term, it feels good to eat pizza (or nachos or whatever).

In the long term, we’d rather be fit and in shape.

Kind of like a “duration mismatch” of our wants.

Often times what we want in the SHORT TERM is different than what we want in the LONG TERM.

Usually the opposite.

This is the heart of what most people call “self sabotage.”

Like two people on a bike pedaling at different speeds.

Instead of combining their efforts, they cancel each other out.

Putting in all that effort for nothing.

When you have different parts of you fighting each other, it sucks.

But there’s a way to fix it.

A way to start slowly, and improve slowly, so that EVERYBODY involved (all the different parts of you wanting things at different times) are FINALLY working together.

And just like two people pedaling together on a bike, you can get going pretty fast.

Learn How:

Stop Self Sabotage

This Eye Is Staring You In The Brain

Embrace Your Inner Suck

Some things can be learned in a linear, step by step method.

Like baking a cake, or building a birdhouse.

Even then it can be complicated.

The first time you do something it’s generally accepted to be part of the “learning curve.”

Nobody would expect to bake the perfect cake on the first try, or build a perfect birdhouse.

Far from it.

Even in simple, non-crucial things (unless you own a cake shop or a birdhouse factory) we give ourselves LOTS of slack.

We bake a goofy looking cake that tastes kind of funny, and we laugh about it.

We KNOW we are SUPPOSED to suck at it the first few times.

But when we do REALLY IMPORTANT things like create relationships, apply for jobs, we act like we’re SUPPOSED to be PERFECT the first time.

Even though these things are WAY more complicated.

What are we, crazy?

We KNOW that by building a birdhouse a few times (or baking a cake or whatever) we’ll get better and better.

Why not look at life the same way?

Why now accept that it’s OK to SUCK?

As long as each “step” isn’t our “final answer,” we can keep getting better.

See, by allowing yourself to suck, you virtually GUARANTEE that you’ll get much better results.

If you DEMAND that you do it PERFECTLY the first time, it’s easy to get discouraged and give up.

Since the first time is NEVER perfect.

So when you embrace your inner “suck” and allow yourself to “fail” you open yourself to continuous improvement.

Because it’s really HARD to NOT get better if you keep trying.

Every time you bake a cake you’ll get better.

Every time you build a birdhouse you’ll get better.

Every time you do ANYTHING, you’ll get better.

Sure, when you think FAR OFF into the future, dream big.

Just realize that every single step between here and there will involve a lot of missteps.

A lot of outcomes that “suck.”

But whether you suck or not isn’t really important.

So long as you’re moving forward, you’ll get there.

Get Started:

End Self Sabotage

Create Your Own Success

Build Your Own Blueprint

I’ve always liked building stuff.

When I was a kid I had a set of Lego’s.

They usually came in a kit so you could build what they wanted, but you could also build whatever you wanted, so long as you had all the parts.

Which was also a good marketing strategy, because the more kits you bought the more raw materials you could have to build all kinds of stuff.

Hot Wheels were kind of the same.

You had a bunch of cars, and you had various pieces of tracks. You could build it according to the picture, or you could build whatever you wanted.

Of course, not everything is like that.

If you went to Ikea or any other furniture store that sells “need to be assembled” stuff, you pretty much have to stick to the instructions.

Otherwise you’re bookcase will fall apart in the middle of the night while you’re sleeping (ahem).

On the other end of the spectrum, you could go to Home Depot a bunch a bunch of boards, nails and saws.

Then build whatever you want.

Either straight from your imagination, or from blueprints.

Or a combination of both.

Some blueprints are pretty straightforward.

Others are take a while to figure out.

(Some are straight up fantasies, like how to build a combustion engine that runs on water).

Like if you were to build a bookcase, it would be pretty simple.

All you really need is to cut the wood in the right sizes.

On the other hand, building a house would require a LOT more knowledge and work.

Plumbing, electricity, insulation, etc.

But it would still work, if you had the skills, time and building materials.

Luckily, pretty much anything you’d want to learn is on YouTube somewhere.

There’s one thing that DOESN’T have a blueprint.

Unfortunately, it’s the most IMPORTANT thing.

Your life.

Sure, there’s plenty of people that would LOVE to tell you HOW to build your life, but that tends to help THEM more than it would help YOU.

In order to build YOUR life to help YOU most, you’ve got to design your own blueprints.

Luckily, that’s pretty easy.

Since your DNA is programmed with blueprint building technology.

Just point yourself in the direction you want to go (more money, more health, better relationships) and get started.

So long as you’re only looking a couple of weeks or months out into your future, you’ll know EXACTLY what to do to keep moving forward.

Get Started:

End Self Sabotage

Break Out Of Comfort

Become The Middle Porridge

When I was a kid, me and my friends were into video games.

This was way back in the day when they cost a quarter.

They had TV games, but the ones in the arcades (or the ice cream shops) were much better.

Back then, like today, they had hidden “cheats.” Ways you could “beat” the system. Certain things you could do that would GUARANTEE you could get to the next level.

Those were cool, but once you found the cheat, it wasn’t much fun.

The whole point of “playing” games is you DON’T know how they are going to come out.

This is why sports is so exciting, as well as well-written books, movies, and stories.

Nobody likes a movie when everybody can figure out how it’s going to end.

When I was a kid we used to take car trips.

It was always exciting, because we were going somewhere cool, and part of the fun was enjoying the process of getting there.

Of course, looking back as an adult, it was always some hotel or motel somewhere, and if you’ve seen one of those, you’ve seen them all.

But as a kid it CAN be a real adventure.

If you use any kind of measuring equipment, you know how important it is to keep it calibrated.

IF you were making cookies for example, imagine if you had a cup you “thought” was an actual cup, but was really only half a cup.

The cookies wouldn’t come out so good.

Now imagine building something complicated, like a jet engine, with tools that AREN’T calibrated.

A bunch of mechanics just throwing stuff together and “hoping” it doesn’t break apart a top speed.

Life itself can fall into three general categories.

A grand adventure, a nightmare, or something really boring.

If you charge ahead without calibration, without knowing what you’re doing, it can be good, but the chance of “nightmare” outcomes goes up.

If you don’t do anything, you’ll end up pretty boring.

The magic is in the middle.

Just like in the three bears.

Not too hot, not too cold.

One or two steps out of your comfort zone. Small actions, measure the results, and then re-calibrate.

Doing that will turn life into a grand adventure where you get the BEST of both worlds.

Always on the journey, and always close to the safety of home.

Learn More:

End Self Sabotage

Changing Minds

Metaphors Are Everywhere

What language do humans speak?

According to Noam Chomsky, one of the world’s recognized experts on linguistics, we only speak one language.

Just that from country to country, we speak in different “dialects.”

He famously pointed out that all world language have the same components.

Verbs, nouns, adjectives, etc.

There have also been a few interesting cases where people had to “make up” a language, and they “made up” a language that had those parts of speech.

This led Chomsky to come up with his “X-bar theory.”

Where we have a bunch of “switches” in our brain.

And when a kid is between 0 and about 2, they are setting these switches based on the “local structure” of this “world language.”

Once these switches are set, the word explosion begins.

This is when kids shift from speaking gibberish to full blown sentences, some of which they NEVER could have heard.

Researchers test this, just to make sure.

They make up words for nouns and verbs.

Then the kids use them PERFECTLY.

Which strongly suggests that deep in our brain is the neural circuitry for language.

The actual words are kind of like filling in the blanks.

One thing that is used in all languages are metaphors.

Not just metaphorical sayings, but embedded within the language itself.

Like the simple expression, “fall in love.”

The verb “fall” explains how we feel about “love.”

Something that happens unexpectedly. Like you’re wandering down the street, staring at your phone and you fall into a hole.

Or the sentence, “We are going through some difficulties.”

If it’s a person or a company, you are thinking about those “difficulties” as if they are an actual object.

And in order to “deal with” that “object” you need to go through it.

Not go over it, or under it, or around it.

Through it.

And when you are going “through” something, it’s all around you.

Hopefully soon, you’ll be able to “put it” behind you.

And see it fading away in the rear view mirror.

Understanding the structure of human metaphors is very powerful.

You can move people on deep and profound levels.

Not knowing how to do so is like being in a foreign country and not speaking the language.

So long as you speak the HUMAN language, you can communicate a lot more effectively.

And impact people much more profoundly.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Storytelling

Sweet Dreams

The Cake and Ice Cream Strategy

Most people get nervous, at least a little bit, when talking in public.

Of course, there are many different spectrums with different endpoints.

In a one on one situation, there’s people we talk to that we like and hope like us.

Those situations can be tough to be relaxed and conversationally “entertaining.”

Whenever we’re around people we like and admire, there is always the fear of rejection.

One way that fear manifests itself by worrying that we’ll run out of stuff to say.

Or we’ll run out of stuff the other person finds “interesting.”

If you’re in a group, and you’re hanging out with friends, and there are a couple of new people in the group, this can also happen.

You suddenly find yourself in the center of the “conversational spotlight.”

It’s almost worse than giving a speech.

At least if you’re giving a speech, they more or less have to listen.

But if you find yourself talking in a group, there’s the ever present danger of getting interrupted by somebody.

And if that somebody has a MORE interesting story than yours, it can feel pretty crappy.

Especially if you were hoping to “impress” one of those new people in your group.

Luckily, there’s a VERY EASY way to take even the shortest, plainest story and tell in a way they will HAVE to pay attention.

Our brains don’t like unfinished business.

That’s why whenever something bad happens, we NEED closure.

Otherwise, there’s a painful “open loop.”

Having a bunch of painful open loops sucks.

But you can do the opposite.

Purposely leave open loops, but not the painful kind.

The cliffhanger kind, that they put near the end of your favorite TV show.

You can do this on a sentence level, a story level and a conversation level.

The better you are at creating these open loops, the more they will be DESPERTATE to pay attention.

Putting out a bunch of open loops in a regular conversation is like showing up to a kid’s birthday party with a bunch of cake and ice cream.

They won’t be able to resist.

Learn How:

Hypnotic Storytelling