Tag Archives: Communication

Share the Communicating Power of Experience

I have a friend that is several years older than me. I like to hang out with him, if only to listen to his stories. He is a great story teller. I don’t know if you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting somebody, so that when you listen to this person, you can just sit there for hours and hours listening to this persons go on and on about this and that. Most of the stories this guy tells are from his own experience. But other ones are from other people that he himself has heard stories from. Because he has lived such a long a full life, he never runs out of stuff to say.

Many times he’ll be talking about the war he was in. He was drafted, and once he realized what was going to happen to him, he decided that he was going to make the best of things. So he decided that being a communications officer was his best bet. He didn’t think being a medic was such a great idea, as he said medics have to walk around with a target painted on their back. He said a communications officer was best, because communication is important. And if you are carrying around with you one of the best resources, you are treated with a great deal of respect.

I can remember a class I took once in communications, just for fun. It wasn’t a public communications, which is public speaking. I hadn’t yet learned how easy it was to be comfortable while speaking to a large group of people. I was still in my beginning stages of learning how to communicate well on a one to one basis. Those of you who have been keeping up and like to read my blog on a regular basis will know what I’m talking about. Developing skills in communicating is one of the best skills you can develop. Being able to communicate congruently with power and confidence can be one of the most important things that you can learn in life. The class was a real eye opener for me. I learned about different communication styles that people have, different media through which you can communicate. And most important of all, the simple truth that you can’t not communicate. So it pays to be aware of the message that you are sending. Regardless if you know it or not, people are receiving you, loud and clear.

One of the most interesting things I learned from him was how to throw a grenade. It’s not like in the movies, where you can just chuck it and duck behind a bush or something. Because the pieces that come off it when it explodes go much further than you can throw it. So you need to make sure to stay out of the way when whatever you put out comes back. Whenever you decide to throw out something harmful, you’d better watch out, because it usually comes back a lot stronger than you threw it. It pays to be careful. Of course, my friend is wise enough to only tell stories that took place during basic training, where nobody died. War itself is a horrible thing, and should be talked about in polite, social conversation, when absolutely necessary.

I strongly recommend becoming friends with somebody that has a lot of experience. Not only because it’s fun to share your experience with others, it’s also just as fun to hear them as well. And who could disagree that we could always use more sharing in this world?

Permalink

Tap The Power of Realistic Expectations for Incredibly Happy Relationships

Today in my neighborhood, the weather is unseasonably warm. Which is nice, because it’s still winter (or at least it was when I wrote this, now.) It’s nice to have a warm day every now and then when you don’t expect it. It breaks up the monotony of the coldness that I’m used to when I wake up in the morning. And since I try to wake up early every day, I enjoy having the sun just a little bit warmer than I expect it to be.

It’s like when I go to the movies. I am pretty easy to impress and entertain. Sometimes I read the reviews of movies I want to see, sometimes I don’t. An interesting thing that I’ve found was that when I read a particularly unflattering review of a movie, it allows me to enjoy this more, because I go in with less expectations. Like when you really expect to enjoy something, you sometimes can have an unconsciously higher standard that is harder for something to live up to.

I guess that is why on the stock market they always wait and see if earnings beat the markets expectations. Even ones that don’t make a lot of money, if they make more than the analysts have expected, then the stock will go up on that particular day. I remember a company I used to work for had a stock that performed tremendously well. The company had earnings in excess of one dollar per share, which is a lot. One particular day, when the earnings came out, they were only 99 cents a share instead of a dollar a share. Any company that earns 99 cents a share is a very financially stable company, so imagine the surprise when the stock went down almost 4 percent that day because it “didn’t meet the analysts expectations.”

It reminds me of a book I read on self improvement. If I remember correctly, it was a relationships book. And they key to having a happy relationship was having accurate expectations on what to get out of the relationship. Because when you are with somebody, and you find this person interesting, you have to make sure that you like this person because of real reasons, and not imaginary ones. Because when you start to expect reality to behave based on your imagination, and not an accurate assessment of what is out there, you can run into trouble. The book went on to say that one of the best ways to have a really good, solid relationship with somebody was to establish solid expectations based on communication, and your own observations of each other’s behavior in certain circumstances.

My friend, who is married with three kids told me about this. As soon as he learned to plan ahead for his family taking almost an hour sometimes to get ready to leave the house, he was able to make plans, carry out these plans, without having the added stress of expecting his family to meet unrealistic expectations. He said that in the beginning, when it was only him and his wife, he could kind of push for her to be ready earlier, but the more people they added to the family, the more impossible this got. So he naturally realized that the best way to reduce stress, when other people are involved, is to stand back, and watch their behavior, and plan your activities based on reality rather than fantasy.

Which I have gotten down to a science. I used to rush to the movies, buy my large popcorn and coke, then rush to the theater to sit down. It took me about three months of willpower to not eat all my popcorn before the trailers finished showing. Now I usually get to my seat just as the real movie is starting. I’ve learned to ignore the stated start times in the newspaper, and use my experience as a guide. I find that is much easier, because I’d rather enjoy my popcorn while watching the movie I came to see, rather than the movies I’ll most likely come to see in the future.

Permalink

Increase Your Abundance Through Focused Communication

One of the best ways to increase your influence with others is to be a secret agent. I learned this from a Dale Carnegie self study course I bought a long time ago. For those of you that don’t know, Dale Carnegie the guy who wrote the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” which if you haven’t read, I can’t recommend it enough.

Now when I say secret agent, I’m not talking about sneaking around in a trench coat like in “Spy vs. Spy,” but I mean using your latent psychic abilities to really understand what it is that the other person in question wants. Of course you don’t need to use any psychic abilities if you don’t want to, as some people don’t have their paranormal powers tuned in as much as the rest of you.

The secret to influencing other people boils down to giving other people what they need, and they will naturally want to help you any way they can. And you already know the secret to what it is they want, even without turning on your ESP. This is because underneath all of our surface desires, is really the same thing.

To feel wanted. To feel needed. To feel recognized. To feel approval from your peers. And this is the easiest thing to give to somebody. All you need to do is engage them in a simple straightforward conversation, and listen, really listen to what it is that they have to say.

Most of the time when we listen, we are too busy thinking of what we want to say next, or thinking of what we are planning on doing later, or wondering why whatever we did before didn’t turn out as well. Try this little experiment. Next time you are talking to somebody, just listen. And watch carefully for how they speak, and pay close attention to certain words that they use with certain emphasis.

And just simply repeat those words back to them, exactly the same way that they said it, and ask them to elaborate on it. When you do this you will naturally begin to realize not only how easy it is to make somebody feel good, but how to have a really positive effect on another person. And when you do that, you will naturally create an aura of charisma that will make it easier and easier to move through life and create the reality that you want.

Because when you think about, the whole of our existence is completely dependent on our ability to interact with other people. If you move through life with the easy to develop yet rarely practiced skill of really listening to somebody, you will find your expressed desires being readily filled by willing supporters.

It was Brian Tracy who described this secret agent policy of giving others what they want. By knowing what you want, you automatically have the inside scoop on what others want. And once you understand that by giving to others first you subsequently enrich your own life, your personal abundance will skyrocket to new levels. 

Permalink

The Power of The Throat Chakra

Imagine you walk into a room. You walk up to a group of people that you haven’t met yet. They look up when they see you. Curious. Curious because you carry yourself with complete confidence and poise. Curious because you have a look on your face that tells them that what you are about to say is very important. You open your mouth to speak, and all their thoughts are forgotten as they turn to wait to hear your opinion, your thoughts, your guidance.

Now some people, when they read that, might think “oh, no, I could never do that,” or something along those lines. But that is only because they haven’t been able to discover the power that everyone possesses. They aren’t able to discover the wisdom that everyone can express to share with others.

The reason is not a matter of knowledge, or experience, or expertise. The main concern here is one of communication. If you can find a way to embrace and express your truth, then without question people will listen. And one powerful way to begin to do that is by opening the Fifth, or Throat Chakra.

The Throat Chakra is all about communication, expression, persuasion. The more open your Throat Chakra will be, the more naturally and easily you will persuade others to your point of view. And you know as well as anybody else that people throughout history have been able to use this power both for good and for evil. I’m not going to give examples of either, because I’m sure you can think of plenty.

Before you begin your meditation on the Throat Chakra, ask yourself the following questions. Remember, as I’ve said in my other articles about the Chakras, you don’t have to get clear answers, just ask the questions, and be open for any responses that come.

What is truth?
What is my truth?
What are my desires?
How do my desires coincide with those of others?
How do all of us want the same thing?
How do I want people to think, feel, respond when I speak my truth?

Take a deep breath, slow. In. Out. As you exhale, imagine a small blue ball of light appear at your throat. Allow it to grow in size, slowly, with each exhale. Imagine the infinite wisdom of the universe breath through you into slowly growing ball of blue light. Allow it to grow slowly, until it is completely surrounding you. Sit inside for seven deep slow, breaths. After seven breaths, slowly allow it to shrink back down into our throat. Still filled with the wisdom of the universe, channeled through you, resting in your throat center, waiting to power your expressions.

How does it feel, now, as you sit there, to have such power resting in your throat, awaiting for you to express your truth? How much can you help others, now, that you know you have such power? What can you give? What can you share?

Permalink

Good Job!

“I don’t know man, I just seem like I’m, I dunno, stuck or something.”

“What do you mean stuck?”

“I mean everything I try, it just seems like I’m in the same place. Like I keep running and running and I’m not going forward or anything. Like if I stop, I’ll fall behind or something. It sucks.”

“So what would you like it to be like?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what would you like it to be like. If you could snap your fingers, and magically make everything the way you want it, with regard to this thing, what would you see or feel or hear that would be different than it is now?”

“Well, for one, my boss could tell me I”m doing a good job.”

“Are you doing a good job?”

“Of course.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know what my job is, and I know when I’m doing it right, and when I’m doing it wrong. I’ve been there for over five years, you know.”

“I know. I know. So when you do a good job, and you know you’re doing a good job, how does it get better when your boss says something to you?  Do you think that he doesn’t know you are doing a good job?”

“No, if I wasn’t doing a good job, he would know, and he would ask me what was wrong.”

“He wouldn’t just yell at you? Tell you to do it better?”

“No, he knows I know what I’m doing. So if I started slacking off, he’d think maybe something was wrong, something at home or something.”

“Wow, sounds like a pretty good boss. I wish my boss was like that sometimes.”

“Yea.”

“So maybe he doesn’t say ‘good job,’ because he knows that you know, and that would mean that he really respects your opinion of yourself. Do you know how rare that is today? For somebody to know you well enough, and know and respect your own opinion of yourself?”

“Yea, I guess that is pretty cool.”

“So maybe you should tell him, ‘good job,’ huh?”

“Hmm. Maybe I will. Maybe I will.”

Permalink