Category Archives: Metaphor

Do You Worship The Sun And The Moon?

The Secret of Personality

Once I was reading a book about different personality types. It was pretty interesting. Of course, there are several personality quizzes online that you can take the claim to give you an adequate read on your personality.

I don’t know how accurate they are, or how accurate they claim to be. There are a lot of different schools of thought on personality, where it originates from and what are some of the factors that influence them.

One major factor that many people believe in is astrology. Depending on what year or month you were born in (depending in you believe in Asian or Western astrology) it has an impact on your personality, your characteristics, and even the kind of life you will have. One thing that I think is particularly interesting is that both Asian and western astrology is based on 12. In the west, there are twelve signs that roughly correspond to twelve months. In the east the twelve signs are for twelve different years.

One reason that some believe that the number twelve is important in astrology, and other belief systems that were developed before any kind of scientific method of objective observation of the universe is the cycle of the moon.

In one year, the moon cycles roughly twelve times. That is, a full moon appears about every twenty-eight days or so, or about once a month. Of course, there is the rare occasion, because the cycle of the moon is a little quicker than the length of the month that the moon catches up. And there are two full moons in one month. (Incidentally, this is where the expression “once in a blue moon” comes from. A blue moon is the second full moon in any given month.)

So here we have two belief systems, both centered on the number twelve, which in turn is based on the number of full moons that primitive men and women saw in a year’s time.
Its kind of hard to imagine nowadays, but life back then must have been incredibly confusing, and complicated. And much, much more precarious.
Today, if we need food, we just go and buy some. If we are sick, we go and see a doctor. If we have an accident, we call and ambulance, and somebody comes and picks us up takes us to the hospital.

But life back then was nowhere near as safe and comfortable as life today. The elements could easily kill you. If you messed up and didn’t plant our crops correctly, or at the wrong time, you and your whole family would die. If you were out hunting, and you slipped and broke ankle, you’d be likely left for dead, and the animals would soon come and eat you.

So it’s only natural that people developed this huge feeling of reverence for their natural environment. And not knowing anything about space travel or celestial mechanics, the sun and the moon were seen as all-powerful gods to be feared and respected.

So it made sense, back then at least, to base your life around the cycle of the sun and the moon. But does it make sense today?

I was talking to a friend of mine last week that went and saw a psychic. Not just one of those dudes who sits around on a street corner and reads your palms, a famous, several times televised, multi bestselling book writing psychic. This guy would do all kinds of mind reading, and communing with the spirits.

I asked if he was told any insights about his own life, and he said he was too shy to raise his hand and get a reading. He did say the guy was pretty amazing, and that he accurately read a bunch of people’s lives, telling them what they had experienced and what they should do in the future. He said a few things about people that had “crossed over” as he said, but nothing really specific.
Of course, I have another friend who says that is nothing but what she calls “cold reading.” Apparently this is the art of being artfully vague, and saying things that most anybody could agree with. Things like “you have had some tough times in your past, and often times you wonder if those times are completely behind you or not.” That could be true for pretty much anybody.

I guess people are always looking for some kind of guidance, or validation that everything is going to be ok. Or that if things to wrong, there is some bigger plan. Otherwise people might be inclined to just give up if they thought that they didn’t really have much of a choice, and everything was left up to fate. Or worse, we have zero choice in the matter and we are all part of some continuous expansion of universal randomness.

I’m not sure exactly where I fall along the line of mystical-astrological-psychic phenomenon, but some of that stuff sure is interesting, to say the least.

Maybe I need to be more open-minded.

How The Frog Built His Empire

Once upon a time there was a little frog. This frog was one of the kind that rains down on small villages during freak weather conditions. So far the only evidence of these frog-raining events is second and third hand information. Somebody knows somebody that heard about some report they read on the Internet. As of yet, this kind of thing is still considered one of those things that would be really cool if it were true, but most likely isn’t. Stories like these are best believed after a couple of drinks.

So here this frog was, growing up in the outskirts of a small farming community. Most people don’t know it, but it’s tough being a frog that experienced something that is the stuff of urban legends. At first he tried to use the story of his origins as a way to get girls whenever they had frog social functions, but as I turns out, most people had heard the rumor, and unfortunately, he wasn’t the best at telling it, even though he was the only frog he knew about that actually remembered being rained down on the community.

After a while other frogs that were more eloquent with the lady frogs started to borrow his story. After a while, most girls just assumed he was making it all up for attention. And because he was a poor storyteller, it usually didn’t get him much more than a few moments of time with a young attractive female frog.

So here this frog was. When he was a kid, he dreamed of turning his experience into fame and fortune. But as he grew older, he realized that almost every frog had the same story. Whether it really happened to them was beside the point. They were better at telling it than he was, so it quickly became obvious he’d have to find another way to make a living.

He always supposed he could just hang out and catch flies, but that wasn’t any fun. Most other frogs did that anyway. And once you established your lily pad, you really didn’t have much to look forward to. Catch flies all day, and croak all night in hopes of attracting a lady frog. While it was a decent living, and expected of most frogs, it simply wasn’t appealing to him.

So he decided to go on a journey. He wanted to find out what the world was like outside of the outskirts of his small farming community. So one day he just set off, hopping and hopping. At first he was a bit nervous, not sure what he would find. It was fairly easy along the way. He never really thought about it, but bugs were pretty much everywhere. No matter where he decided to stay for the night, there were plenty of bugs to be had.

And some places had so many bugs, that he allowed himself a couple days of just lazy bug eating before he decided to move on. Other places had different kind of bugs, and he had to learn new bug catching skills. Some he had to sneak up on, some he had to develop new tongue unfurling methods, and others he even had to set elaborate traps.

As he continued to travel, an interesting thing began to happen. Every once in a while he would pass through an area where a few frogs lived. And some younger frogs liked the idea of traveling for a living. They would sit around at night and learn from him. They would learn all about the different bugs that were available, and all the different ways to catch them.

Most of them were surprised to learn that they didn’t have to sit on the same lily pad day after day, catching the same bugs with the same methods. Some of them naturally traveled with him. And over time, his group of traveling frogs grew and grew.

Pretty soon their arrival into small frog communities became expected, and welcomed. People prepared big banquets for the group of traveling frogs. They would demonstrate all different bug-catching techniques to the delight of all who came to see him.

It wasn’t long before he was world famous. More famous than he ever though he’d be by telling his story of who he was. He became famous because he decided to leave his comfortable life, and learn new things. And by sharing all the useful things he learned with others, he gained a popularity and respect rarely achieved by frogs.

“The secret,” he began telling a group of young frogs who had gathered to hear him speak, “is that most people want to be recognized and respected for who you are, or where you came from. But the truth is, that true respect only comes from what you do, and how you can help others, by showing them how they can do the same thing. That is what the world needs. If you can figure out a way to do this, you’ll never be hungry or lonely again.”

What’s Your Model Of Reality?

A long time ago, in some basement laboratory, a bunch of physicists and mathematicians were trying to solve a particularly difficult problem. They were looking at some subatomic particles, and how they interacted with one other.

They had already figured out the math and the physics behind the interactions, and could accurately predict the behavior of two or three particles. In a closed system with five or ten particles bouncing around, it was pretty straightforward. The could use any number of statistical algorithms to figure out the motions of particles, say, x, y, and z, based on the motions of particles a, b, and c.

From that they could effectively extrapolate to the whole system. The only problem is that in nature, there is never a system with only ten or fifteen particles. There are systems with billions and billions of particles. When you go up to that same level, the same principles apply, but the sheer number of particles makes the calculations impossible. Even with a computer that is a billion times more powerful than any computer that can ever be invented, trying to calculate the motions of system with so many natural particles is impossible. (If you’ve ever wondered why they can never really predict the weather with any amount of scientific accuracy, this is the reason. There are just too many variables.)

Now this group of scientists was studying something called solid-state physics. This is where you have material that is really packed with particles. The particles don’t have very much room to move, so they are always getting in each other’s way, kind of like twenty people on an elevator. If the elevator stops on the fifth floor, and the person in the back needs to get off, then pretty much everybody has to move a little bit to accommodate them.

Same thing in solid-state particle physics. When one particle moves, just a little bit, it pretty much affects every other particle. These poor scientists were wracking their brains trying to figure out how to accurately predict the behavior of the system as a whole.

Then one guy had a brilliant idea. Why don’t they look at holes, instead of particles? In the elevator example, there are twenty people, and may enough space for one more person. So thinking of that empty space as a separate entity, you can reduce the math significantly if you only try and predict the movements of that empty space, rather than everybody else on the elevator.

So the scientists started looking at holes, instead of particles. And they gave holes the same properties that they normally give particles. Like weight, size, mass, density, spin, charge, etc. One of the cool things about scientists is that a value of zero is a perfectly acceptable value to give something. It is a number just like any other number. So they looked at a system with only few particles (holes) with zero mass, zero charge, zero spin and zero everything else they normally give to particles.

And lo behold, the math was much simpler, and it accurately predicted the behavior of the system. And solid-state physics was born. Solid-state physics is the underlying science behind all kinds of fascinating inventions that will help mankind for hundreds of years. To say solid-state physics is a significant development in human history would be a huge understatement.

And it was all based on a “model” of reality. They looked at a system, and figured out the easiest way to “frame” reality so they could predict it and utilize it the most. They ignored the traditional way of “looking at things the way they really are,” and came up with their own model. It didn’t matter one bit that they were looking at imaginary “holes” moving around in a space.

It’s been said that a musical equivalent would be to write a piece of music by ignoring the notes, and focusing only on the spaces between them.

The moral of the story? Reality is a finicky thing. You don’t necessarily have to buy into everybody else’s’ interpretation, or model of reality. You are allowed to observe things, give them whatever meaning you want, and see how that works out for you.

You ask a girl out, and she rejects you. Have you been rejected, or did you only meet a girl that has bad taste? You try a business venture and it consistently loses money. Did you fail in business, or did you find a way to practice and improve your skills so you’ll be better in the next venture? Did that person cut you off in traffic because they are an evil person with no manners, or are they suffering significant emotional pressures and are at their wits end?

Labels you give to reality can be helpful, or beneficial. They can make it easier for you to get what you want, identifying learning opportunities and resources, or they can make it difficult, only identifying obstacles and problems.

When you realize that you have complete control over how you label things, you’ll be surprised how many opportunities open up for you.

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What’s The Meaning Behind You Now?

I knew this guy once that was really good at reading lips. He had some long convoluted story about he learned that particular skill. I had nothing to do with being deaf or knowing anybody that was deaf. I think he was just the kind of guy that would study up on strange skills that most people wouldn’t normally think to learn.

Like this one guy considered himself an expert in predicting how much daylight was left while looking at the sun. He would always impress whoever he was with by looking at the sun, checking how many fingers he could hold up at arm’s length between the horizon and the sun’s lower edge. He could usually predict the exact time; to the second the sun’s last visible part would dip below the horizon.

Kind of like that episode of Star Trek where they landed on some planet and the flowers had some weird chemical that made the crew members go wacky. Spock lost all of his logic, and for the first time, expressed awe at the beauty of a rainbow. He said something along the lines of “I could explain to you in precise scientific detail why that occurs, but I feel it would take away from its beauty.”

So this guy would usually sit in restaurants and entertain whoever he was with by looking around the room the tell us whatever people were talking about. At first it seemed kind of like we were in on some secret CIA spy stuff, then we then realized that most of the stuff people talk about while they are at a restaurant is kind of boring.

Of course, every once in a while you might find an interesting conversation, but nothing really worth anything. We never got any inside information on a hot stock or a horse that was sure thing. The closest we got was the kind of juicy gossip you see on a soap opera.

I suppose it’s like those guys in New York that buy telescopes to look out there windows into other peoples living rooms. I suppose most of the time it’s pretty boring. Perhaps once in a while you might get lucky and see a murder, like in “Rear Window,” or maybe a porno being shot, but most of the time it’s just some dude, or a couple sitting around watching TV.

Of course the real fun begins when you find that somebody is watching you, while you are sitting there reading this. Is there somebody behind you?

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Coffee Shop Courage and Why You Should Talk To Strangers

Yesterday I was sitting in my local Starbucks, minding my own business when this girl started talking to me. She was a strange mix of friendly and forward. She wanted to practice her English, and she saw that I was sitting alone at one of those small tables with two really comfortable chairs facing each other.

So I guess after gathering up her courage, she came over and sat right and started firing away the same questions that foreigners usually get in Japan.
“Where are you from?”
“Where do you live?”

Etc. These are basically the only questions they get to practice out loud in school, so it’s pretty much all most Japanese can say in English. Despite spending a large amount of time studying English in school, most of it is writing and reading, and grammar rules. They don’t get much practice speaking, let alone speaking to an actual native speaker of English, despite a desire to do so.

What was interesting about this particular conversation was the courage this young girl showed. (She said she was eighteen, and a student a local university). She first came, and sat down, and asked the normal questions, and I tried my best to make her feel comfortable, with slow easy answers, and as much Japanese as I could muster, to give her a feeling it was a group effort at communication, rather than her being on the spot.

After she ran out of things to say, she abruptly, stopped and said she’d be back. I guess she wanted to go and talk to her friends and think up some more questions. So, naturally, I went back to reading my book.

The book I was reading was “The Stuff of Thought,” by Pinker. He’s written quite a few books on the subject, language and how it affects our thought, and vice versa. I never knew how complicated language was. Some verbs behave much differently, and how they are used can show a great deal of insight into the thoughts underlying the deep structure of the language.

He’s also quite an interesting speaker. I think he has a few videos on TED should you feel compelled to go and have a look.

It kind of reminds me once when I was in this ice cream store. I was trying to decide not only what kind of ice cream to buy, but how many scoops. I hadn’t set out that day to buy any ice cream, I just kind of wandered into the shop to see what was in there.

While I was waiting this guy behind me started talking about his neighbor. I think me might have thought I was somebody else, but I listened anyways, because this seemed like something that was really interesting. His neighbor use to be a dispatch driver for this delivery company that delivered stuff to people around this big city. And he was driving once to a call, and there was a herd of goats crossing the road, so he had to stop.

So while he was waiting, he pulled out a novel he’d been reading. Maybe you’ve read this, but maybe you haven’t. It’s a pretty popular novel, and the main character was on some kind of spiritual journey, and he was discovering all these insights and secrets of life through the story.

Kind of like when you read something like this, you start to think there is some kind of deeper meaning here, and you’re not sure what it is. Of course other times when you read this you might be under the impression that the guy who wrote this was making it up as he went along. But for some compelling reason, you can’t help but to come back here again and again to find out what was going to happen next.

Finally, the goats, passed by, and the traffic opened up. I’ve never really seen a herd of goats before, so it must have been an interesting sight. I suppose you could always go back and look if you are interested in that sort of thing.

And by the time this guy was done telling this really weird story, I had decided on a double cone with rocky road. I’ve liked rocky road ever since I was a kid, and it never fails to impress with its delicious chocolaty flavor, and nutty crunch.

I just when I was starting to wrap my mind around this deep philosophical point that Pinker was making his compellingly thought provoking book, this girl came and sat down again. I guess she’d thought up some more questions.

So had a nice little chat, and she seemed to be pretty pleased with herself for starting a conversation with a random stranger in a coffee shop. Like I said, it’s one thing to go up and speak with a random stranger in a coffee shop, but it adds about twenty different aspects of courage if you are to do that in a language that you are just starting to learn.

I never thought I’d be taught a lesson in courage by an eighteen-year-old Japanese college girl, but there you go. The world is filled with good examples like this.

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The Crow Massacre

Once upon a time there was a group of crows. They were numerous, and had been established in their community for quite a while. They had a fairly well developed relationship with the surrounding farmers. They would refrain from picking the crops while they were growing, and hunt for food elsewhere. The when harvest time came, they were allowed to pick up all they could eat so long as they didn’t interfere with the harvesting process.

In turn for their cooperation, the farmers agreed not to shoot the crows for sport while they were getting close to harvest time. Crows are very easily hypnotized, and when the season is getting close to harvest time, there is something in the air that transfixed the crows. They begin to gather in mass hordes just outside the crops and wait for the harvest. This makes them easy targets for farmers with shotguns.

Once in early fall, before this rule had been established, several farmers, decided after a night of heavy drinking to have some fun with the waiting crows. They loaded up their shotguns and went out one night, and had a contest to see who could kill the most crows.

What happened after was disastrous. Very few people recalled exactly what had happened, but they all agreed that it was so horrible they should never repeat it. After several rounds of negotiations, they agreed that the crows would be protected during their hypnotic waiting for the harvest, and they would restrain themselves during their furious scavenging after the harvest.

This went on for several generations. The crows would hunt for squirrels and small rodents, and they could steer clear of the farmer’s crops. Then the weeks leading up to the harvest, the crows would slowly gather and watch, transfixed as the farmers prepared their instruments of harvest. The farmers learned to regard the gathering crows with a detached disinterest, not unlike a stronger predator barely acknowledging a lesser animal, waiting in the background for scraps.

Then one day disaster struck. There was a solar eclipse, which sent down a strange combination of solar radiation, and the strange feeling of night during the day. And few people know that the feeling of night during the day is one thing that can send the crows from a lazy feeling of desire into a ravenous blood lust for flesh.

Which is exactly what happened. Nobody knows why, but the solar eclipse was not predicted by any meteorologist, nor written about the much relied upon farmers almanac. It came completely without warning. It didn’t help matters that the frequency of the accompanying solar radiation was similar to that of the brainwave frequency of the crows.

What happened next was unimaginable. Crows swept down upon the harvesting farmers as one, instinctively plucking out there eyes, creating immediate and deadly fear and panic. With the farmers suddenly running around in a chaotic frenzy, the crows began plucking at their throats with almost surgical precision, ripping open carotid artery after carotid artery. Soon all fields were running with the blood of the slowly dying blind farmers.

When all the farmers were dead, the crows turned on each other. Before long, crows and farmer alike lay in the yet to be harvested fields, dead.

It took several days for the neighboring communities to realize there was a problem, as they weren’t expecting any harvested corn or wheat for some time. By the time a delivery truck happened through the community, the site was completely void of life.

No one has ever been to those fields since.

Why Turtles Will Someday Rule The World

Once upon a time there was a small community of turtles. They had existed relatively peacefully over the years, surrounded by various other communities of various other animals. Sometimes there had been some interactions between communities, of different levels. Although on the surface the reasons for such interactions were humanitarian, the underlying reason was always the same.

Competition for resources.

They would always meet under the pretense of exploring the outlying regions, which neither of the communities had the ability to do alone, and they were always worried about what they would discover. On the one hand, they worried that they would discover a magnificent resource, which would lead to ultimate war and destruction.

On the other hand, they were worried that they would discover something much greater than they were, something that would think they were a mere resource, to be used and discarded. And of course that would also lead to the ultimate destruction of them all.

Either way they ventured out into the unknown each time with a great deal of trepidation. And each time they returned empty handed. Until this time.

This time they found something so incredibly powerful they couldn’t help but to question their own existence. They couldn’t help but to question the reason for their small communities on the bottom of the ocean.

The other day I was eating a tuna fish sandwich, when suddenly I realized I had forgotten to set the timer on the washing machine. I don’t usually do that, which is strange because I don’t even have a washing machine, let alone a timer. And sometime when I forget to do things that I don’t normally remember how I was wondering about this, it kind of makes me step back and think about the reason for all of this.

Anyways, back to our story.

So they found this magnificent resource, and instead of fighting for, they decided to see if they could share it. And they tried valiantly for thousands of years before they realized that it was just no use at all. And that’s when they came to the startling revelation that they didn’t really need to get along, and that by warring over resources, they were actually improving their species.

Which of course leads to another point about this story.

Turtles almost never forget. Which is why they will someday rule the world.

Revenge of the Rabbits

Once upon a time there was a small village filled with people that had been there for many many years. They were a strange people, and they hadn’t reproduced in over three generations, making the idea of a generation kind of redundant, if you can follow my logic.

Anyway, one afternoon the town mayor was out for a stroll, and he noticed three rabbits chatting. He got close enough to hear what they were saying without scaring them off. He was astonished to learn the heated topic of their conversation.

They were arguing when they should launch their assault of the small village. It turns out that the villagers had been throwing away their garbage for several years behind the old chestnut tree, without much thought to the consequences.

As it turns out, the garbage had begun seeping down into the ground, which fed the carrot patch, which was the rabbit’s main source of food. The rabbits at first tried to discuss what to do, and they initially decided to be peaceful, and send an emissary to the villagers to explain their situation.

This didn’t quite work out as planned, as the group of representatives from the rabbit community were summarily killed and eaten by the villagers.

This of course, enraged the rabbit community, which led to the current situation.

When our hero returned back to town to report the news, nobody believed him. Nobody believed that rabbits could talk, let alone develop long ranged plans based on agricultural concerns. Our hero was run out of town.

The townspeople were surprised at the first wave of the rabbit attack. Surprised, and wholly unprepared. The rabbits inflicted considerable casualties, and burned over half of the town.

That was just the beginning. The second wave of attack was even more brutal. The rabbits viscously killed whoever hadn’t fled. And those that did flee, the rabbits had set up a trap that caught them as well.

It only took three days before the rabbit had killed and consumed the entire village. And after they cleaned up the garbage dump behind the chestnut tree, they lived happily every after.

How The Church Became a Powerful Force In Europe

This morning I came across an old man that I see sometimes when I’m out walking. Usually he doesn’t say anything, he merely grunts, or sometimes nods his head a small fraction of an inch.

This morning, however, he was different. He stopped and said good morning, and his body posture indicated he wanted to speak to me. So I naturally acquiesced, realizing the opportunity to speak a perhaps wise old timer. Maybe he was going to let me in on some of the secrets of life only available after several decades of successful living.

“You walk every morning, huh?” He said.
I nodded.
“How far?” he asked.
I replied that I wasn’t sure, but judging by the time, perhaps three or four kilometers.
“That’s good. You’ll live a long time.” He then described the neighborhood that I live in, telling me about the people that live here.

My neighborhood is surrounded by small, privately maintained rice fields, and apparently they have been in the family for at least two or three generations. Land is expensive, and usually a son will get married and then live with his parents, and eventually inherit the land.

It’s an interesting way to pass on wealth, through family bloodlines. Back in the old old days, it was important to from alliances with several families, and marriages were very strategic, in order to protect land ownership. Nowadays it doesn’t seem to be that way anymore, even here in Japan. Most people when they grow up don’t wish to inherit their families rice field. They’d rather move to Tokyo to get an office job.

I was reading an interesting book about land and wealth and families, and how it had a dramatic effect on the evolution of religion in Europe. Rich and powerful families would own lots of land, and do their best to keep it in the family. Quite often the most powerful landowners were often the same people that were in the government, so if you didn’t own land, you were pretty much at the mercy of those that did.

Marriages were strictly controlled, and the power and wealth of the time was effectively kept in the hands of the few. But when the Church became more and more popular, an interesting struggle began.

On the one hand, you had kings and monarchs that could protect their wealth and power through bloodlines, and marriages selected to keep the wealth in the family. Strategic marriages were extremely common in those times, and often times you had marriages between cousins to maintain the family power.

On the other hand, you had the Church. The Church had no method like bloodlines or arranged marriages to maintain its power. But eventually, the church became the de facto governing power in much of Europe.

This happened through the development of moral laws, primary to control the sexual behaviors of people. By controlling the sexual behavior of people, the church basically controlled those arranged marriages that he kings and nobles used to protect their bloodlines. The church enforced all kinds of moral laws regarding whom you could marry, effectively limiting the power of the monarchs to choose their own bloodlines.

Soon the church was dictating through its enforced moral laws, which families were marrying who.

An interesting way this happened stems from the idea of the “first son.” Generally, the first-born son was the inheritor of the father’s wealth, and the second son was generally left to the good graces of the first son, which generally weren’t very much.

So another interesting thing happened which gave the Church even more power. The groups, which entered into the monastery, or priesthood, and soon became the group that was dictating moral law to the rest of society, were these second sons.

The second sons that were being shut out of the family fortune, were collectively entering the church to create moral laws to diminish the wealth and power of individual families, and increase the wealth the and power of the church.

And that is how the Catholic Church quickly became the most powerful force in Europe. By effectively controlling the sexual behavior of others.

Beware of GPS Systems That Lead You Astray

Once upon a time, there was this guy. He was a normal, every day guy, and the kind you usually run into in the grocery store, or at the cleaners picking up your shirts. The kind of guy who you see on a regular basis, but if you saw him outside of the usual places, like say if you saw him at the ice skating rink, you wouldn’t likely get anything other than a vague, “that guy looks familiar” feeling.

That was the kind of guy that this guy was. He had a decent job, he made decent money, and he lived in a decent neighborhood, in a decent apartment. He dated some decent girls, and most of his dates went pretty decently, meaning that he never got to second base.

If you are wondering where I’m going with this, that only means that you are starting to find this interesting, and perhaps a little upsetting at the same time, the reasons of which shall likely be explained soon.

So anyways, something very peculiar happened to this guy. He had one of those GPS navigators in his car. It didn’t come factory installed; he had it put in after the fact. Of course, he was smart enough to know that you should never get something like that done at the dealership, because everybody knows they charge way too much for things like that.

Anyways, he really liked the sound of the voice on his GPS. She always sounded so soothing, and so comforting. Warning him of upcoming on ramps and off ramps. He would sometimes drive by himself and pretend that he had a woman with him in the car.

But that’s when the creepy stuff started happening. Pretty soon he noticed that his navigation system was taking him on longer and more roundabout ways to get to where he wanted to go. At first he thought it was just a glitch in the software, but it kept happening with more and more consistency.

Pretty soon, his GPS was leading him way out in the boonies where he’d never been before. Every time he tried switching off his GPS, she would politely ask him not to do it. It was as if she was starting to read his mind.

Pretty soon he just gave up. He listened to her, and went where she told him, without question. And the more he obeyed her, the further and further she took him from his destination. Sometimes he would end up completely lost, and became completely dependent on her to take him back home.

Because he was late several times for work, he quickly lost his job. And with his job gone, he lost his apartment, as he couldn’t afford the rent. All he did was drive around and listen to her sweet, soothing voice take him wherever she thought he should go. And he obeyed unquestioningly.

Pretty soon he was receiving messages from her on how to get loose change, and a few odd dollars here and there so he could pay for gas, and some food. Because he was living in his car, he began to listen to her direction twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Pretty soon he felt completely alone and vulnerable every time he left his car.

People would see him standing on the side of the road, mumbling incoherently as he got out of his car. He would wander off into the city, and come back with enough money to buy another weeks worth of gas and food. Then he would climb back in his car, and she would tell him where to drive, so that they could be alone together.

Everything was fun until he got pulled over. It seemed that either he or she (whatever she was) neglected to renew his registration. Normally, this would have been a regular stop, with a warning from the police officer to renew his registration.

But because he hadn’t shaved or showered in several days, he was more than a little suspicious to the police. When he mumbled completely incomprehensibly to the police, they asked him to step out of his car. When he started asking his car for permission, they knew something was wrong.

Naturally, they took him in for questioning, and because of his completely deranged description of how he came to be like he was, they deemed him a menace to himself and to society. They locked him up in the psychiatric ward, where he remains to this very day.

His car, however, is another story. When they interrogated him, he said some interesting things which made the police want to search his car further. When they went out to the impound yard, the car was gone.

And they haven’t found it since.