Category Archives: Decisions

Once I Caught One This Big!

I was talking with my friend this morning, and he was telling me about his golf game. He said that he needs a new full set of woods, and perhaps even a new set of irons. I asked him how long he’s had his current set of golf clubs, and he said only about six months. I asked him if his game had improved enough to warrant buying a new set, and he said it didn’t really matter, that his game was ready.  I didn’t know what that meant, so I asked him. He said it had something to do with being on the cusp, or the apex or something else that sounded like an excuse to buy a new set of clubs. Sometimes I think he likes to argue just for the sake of arguing.

Like this other friend of mine that I go fishing with sometimes. He has a gigantic tackle box with about eighteen million different lures. Once when the fish weren’t biting, he gave me the entire history and theory behind each type of lure. All I I know is I usually lose two lures for every fish that I catch. He was telling me that he has this system. He can tell what kind of fish are in the area, and he uses a specific type of lure and other set up (I’m not sure of the proper fishing lingo,) based on the type of fish and their current temperament. I, on the other hand, usually grab the first lure I see, which naturally is the closest. He kept telling that I didn’t know what I was doing. And although I agreed, I suggested a wager to see who would catch more fish.

I am of the philosophy that you can take whatever you have, throw it out there, and then let whatever fish that happen to like that kind of lure come and get it.  Maybe I’m lazy, but I don’t see any reason to change whatever you are doing to try and match the environment you’re in. I think it’s easier just to throw out what you got, and see how much you can attract. 

It’s like an old friend of mine that used to be in door to door sales. He swore by using the exact same sales pitch to every single person that opened the door. Others in his company would try to vary their pitch based on the gender, age, ethnicity, color shirt (I kid you not,) and all kinds of other stuff.  He said it was a lot easier to memorize only one pitch, and then just throw the same pitch time after time. He was able to be more successful than anybody else for quite a while.

So we each fished for two hours with our respective lure methods. And we each caught the same amount of fish. While that sounds like a tie, when my friend was fished with his method, he was studying the lures and prepping his next strategy. When I fished using my method, I read Moby Dick.

And I convinced my friend to only allow himself a new set of clubs after he’d managed to consistently improve his score to lower than a hundred.

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I’d Like to Change My Order

I was having dinner with a friend the other night. I was in a pretty good mood (as I usually am,) but he seemed to be out of sorts. I could tell because he usually orders a mixed cocktail (he has a really strange system based on the day of the week and the general weather pattern to choose his drink. Either that or he’s been pulling my leg all this time,) but that night, he ordered a beer. Not just any beer, well actually, yea, he just told the waitress “whatever’s on tap is ok.”

I asked him what was wrong. He said that he was having second thoughts about going forward with his business that he’s been planning on starting. “What changed?” I asked.

He said that he’d been talking with another guy that his advisor had put him in touch with, that had successfully started a business in the same general line of work. He said that he had worked 7 days a week, about 12 hours a day for the first two years. He had a supportive family, and finally after two years, his business was successful enough that he could hire other people to manage it for him.

“So what’s the problem?” I asked. He said he wasn’t really prepared to put in 12  hours a day for a year before he saw a profit. He seemed to think that all businesses need that level of commitment to get off the ground and become profitable.

I told him about this book I read (I forgot the title) about a kind of study they did on successful entrepreneurs. Now that I think of it, I think it might have been a tape program, and I’m pretty sure I got it from Nightingale Conant. If you’ve never had a look, I recommend it. They got some good stuff there. If you find something you like, you might check ebay first, because lots of times people buy stuff, listen and get great benefit, and then sell it at a pretty cheap price.

So what this program said was that there was a huge range of variables that went into successful business creation. Some people were successful right from the start, some had to work at it over several years, others had all kinds of loans and help from family. It really didn’t matter. The term ‘work’ is really a relative concept. What might seem like ‘work’ to some, may be totally enjoyable to somebody else. Some people might consider putting two weeks of effort to get a ton of money a huge burden, but others might consider three or four years total enjoyment, even if you don’t make a lot. So long as you enjoy what you do.

I asked my friend if he enjoyed doing what he thought he was getting himself into. He thought about, an decided that he really did enjoy it. Then I asked him if he would enjoy doing what the other guy did for two years, 12 hours a day for, and he said no way. Then he confessed that the other guy said the only reason he quit after two years, well not really quit but hired other people to take over, was because his wife had their second baby and really needed his help around the house. So it turned out my friend was imagining himself doing what the other guy was doing and imagining not enjoying it, while in reality the other guy was enjoying it so much it took a second baby and his wife’s demands that he ease off a bit.

When he put it into that perspective, it made total sense to him. Although the waitress was pretty confused when he sent back his beer and asked for a Vernal Equinox.

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Towards Pleasure and Away From Pain

As I write this article, it is a time of year where many people around the globe resolve to do certain things, or stop doing certain things. While this article can help in that regard, you can easily use it to create new goals, or get rid of bad habits any time of the year.

If you’ve read my articles on goal setting, or creating a compelling future, this one will blend right in. If you haven’t had the chance yet, you might consider it so that you can receive maximum benefit.

In this article, you will learn an easy to learn and simple to implement technique to motivate yourself to put into action a plan that you’d like to begin, but for some reason, haven’t yet (until now) been able to find the motivation.

It’s based on the idea that all humans are generally motivated by two broad categories. Toward pleasure, and away from pain. And this procedure makes use of those two tendencies to supercharge your brain to naturally move you in the direction you want to go.

Step One

Think of something you’d like to do more of, or something you’d like to do less of. For example, lets say exercise more. So the thing you want to do more of is exercise more.

Step Two

Brainstorm all the great things that will happen on three different levels, if you exercise more. On three different levels, I mean three different levels of cause/effect. For example, if I exercise more, I’ll sleep better at night. If I sleep better at night, I’ll be able to do better at my job everyday. If I do better at my job everyday, the chances I’ll get promoted will increase. See how that works? Keep in mind your main goal is to start to exercise more, and the second and third things are simply the carrot to keep pulling you in that direction. Once exercising more is a firm habit (in this example,) you can move on to other things.

Step Three

Brainstorm all the negative, things, along with the three levels of cause/effect of the bad things that will happen if you don’t start your program. For example, if I don’t start to exercise, then I’ll gain weight, and if I gain weight, then I’ll have to buy more clothes, and if I buy more clothes, I won’t have as much money, and so on and so on. Remember, these are to keep you focusing on negative aspects of life, but to give you impetus to move away from the things you don’t want to happen.

Now if you picked something you wanted to stop doing, like biting your nails, the process is the same. Brainstorm all the good things that will happen if you stop, and all the bad things that will happen if you don’t.

If you spend a few minutes to do this every night, you will soon find that you almost automatically start to move in the direction you want to go. And before you know it, you will be keeping a journal filled with all your easy successes in life.

If you enjoyed this article, remember to check back often for more, as I update this site daily. And be sure to share or link this site, because when you help others, you are really helping yourself.

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Follow The Yellow Brick Road

“Yea, but I’m not sure if you understand what I mean.”
“I think I have a general idea of what you mean.”
“I’m starting to think you really don’t.”
“So tell me again, what is it exactly that you think you mean?”
“Ok. I went into the bank.”
“Did you want to get a loan?”
“No, no, that was last week.”
“Did the loan come through yet?”
“Well, yea, I mean, no, not yet, but it’s guaranteed.”
“You mean like guaranteed, guaranteed?”
“No, not like that, I mean, I should get it, it’s just a matter of time.”
“I got ya. So what’s the problem. What happened today?”
“Well, I was about to ask the teller about the hair thing she was wearing…”
“Hair thing?”
“Yea, you know, those things they wear in the back, like some giant pony tail clip, but it has like a design on it or something…”
“Yea, I know what you’re talking about. I bought one for my girlfriend once.”
“Lisa?”
“No, no my ex girlfriend, from like three years ago.”
“Oh, yea, ok. I remember her. Cheryl, right?”
“Charlene.”
“Oh yea. You still talk?”
“No, not really. Not like we’re mad. The split was cool and everything.”
“So you never see her?”
“Sometimes, I saw her at the club a few weeks ago.”
“The club? I thought you said you quit that a long time ago? Too loud or something?”
“No..no… I saw her at the gym.”
“Got it.”
“So tell me about this girl with a clipboard?”
“A clip, man a clip.”
“What, a paper clip? You got yelled at by a girl with a paper clip?”
“No, dude, one of those clips in her hair.”
“Oh, yea. Ok. So why’d she yell at you?”
“I don’t know. That’s the thing. On the hair clip were all those old wizard of oz dudes.”
“You mean like the lion and the scarecrow, and that other metal guy?”
“The tin man.”
“Yea, the tin man.”
“So which one is your favorite?”
“The lion, dude, the lion.”
“Why the lion?”
“Cause he always had his courage inside the whole time, and he finally figured out.”
“Yea, that is cool. So what did Miss Oz say to you that upset you so much?”
“Well nothing really.”
“What do you mean, nothing really?”
“Well I was just going to tell her I liked her head clip oz thing, and she turned and said ‘HANG ON!'”
“Did you ask her what she meant?”
“I didn’t get a chance, because she hung up the phone and stormed off.”
“Um, wait a sec. She was on the phone?”
“Well, yea.”
“So she looked at you when she said that? Pointed at you or something, right?”
“Well not really.”
“So how did you know she was yelling at you and not at some guy over the phone?”
“She yelled at me the exact same way my mom used to yell at me when I was a kid.”
“And you think she went out of her way to research your past and dig up some secret recordings and listen to them and practice screaming just like your mom used to, and then sat there and waited, and pretended to be on the phone? And..”
“Dude…”
“And she even found out you liked the cowardly lion so she wore that specific hair oz clipboard thing on purpose just to lure you in so she could lower the boom on you and then stomp off without even waiting to see how you’d respond?”
“Well when you put it like that…”
“Dude, you should go offer an apology and an invitation to go see The Wizard of Oz, there’s a special showing tonight over at The Triplex.”
“Dude, really? Tonight? The Triplex? That place over the Anderson’s?”
“No, dude, that’s the duplex. You want the Triplex, over on 17th.”
“Hmm. Yea, that’s a pretty idea, man. I think I’ll do that.”
“Well you better hurry up before whatever guy was on the phone changes his mind.”
“Jeez, you’re right. See ya around man. Thanks.”
“Later.”

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Stopping Traffic or Wandering Minds?

“Oops, sorry,” I mumble, apologizing to the woman that I’m pretty sure was out of ear shot by the time I realized I’d bumped into her. People everywhere, walking in groups, in pairs, alone. Heads busily scanning the environment searching for something, anything. Like me. Except I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for. But I was supposed to get six of them. Or was it seven? Maybe in there? No, too expensive. Over there? Nope, would never fly. Wait, what’s that? I push through the crowd. Oh, no. That’s not at all I expected.

Like when I was driving down the freeway, jamming along. Radio up high. Light traffic. I’m in the number two lane. Doing about seventy. Saturday afternoon. Warm. Clear. All day to play. Good mood. I see a truck in my peripheral vision coming up slowly on my left. Dog in the back. Probably feeling the same as me about now. Able to just let go, and relax. Everything is in it’s place. Except that’s not a dog in the back of that truck.

Does that ever happen to you? You see something, you’re pretty sure you know that, and you don’t even bother to double check, you just kind of assume it’s there, the way you think it is. But it never really is, is it?Those things that you were pretty sure that you had a handle on, once you allow yourself to see from a different perspective, you begin to imagine different things. And it’s not like when you are reading something, and just following along as your mind is wandering. It’s when you see something, but you don’t really notice it. I imagine that if you recall, now, the times that has happened to you, you might begin to understand what I’m talking about.

Like when I was watching this psychologist give a lecture about the reason that thoughts which come in dreams are different from the normal order. Something with the way the lattice structure of the brain is connected. Certain thoughts are resting on top of other thoughts, and the way the brain organizes it self, sometimes things that are right next to each other, they don’t even communicate well. Like when you pull up to your house, and see your neighbor, and you think to yourself, do I really even know that guy?

So I’m dead even with the truck, and I’m about ready to look over at the previosly assumed canine in the back, complete with it’s assumed tongue wagging out of it’s mouth, and even an imagined name on his hallucinated dog collar. It is a bit of an understatement to say I was shocked when I looked to see that it was a pig. Without a collar. I didn’t think to ask what it’s name was. And it didn’t seem to be at all concerned with mine.

And my eyes must have really been getting tired, because that day in the mall what I thought were some kind of new age toys, were really decorations laying around the christmas trees waiting their turn to get put up. I guess my blood sugar was lower that I had planned for it to be. But I did turn into a Sharper Image, and some shop based on the Discovery Channel, and was able to take care of everything there. And when I left, it seemed that all those people were still wandering around looking for what I assumed they would find eventually.

When this happens to you, how long does it take to realize that something really strange is going on?

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The Blackrock Pass of Logic

“This one!”

“What’s it about?”

“Some guy that does some crazy stuff.”

“Oh, wait dude, look, that one is here!”

 

There were three of us. At the new multiplex. Thirty screens. 6 new releases, and two blockbusters (after only one weekend) all starting within 40 minutes of each other.  If we had another two hours, maybe we could come to a decision. Too many choices. We hadn’t even gotten in line yet. I had a pretty good idea, what I’d though we’d all enjoy, but…

Kind of like when me and two of my other buddies were backpacking. We had a four day trip planned, and we were on our second day in. We had three possible routes to take, all big loops, depending on the weather and the fishing. The only problem was, we’d only agreed that those two things would determine our choices. We didn’t take the time to consider how they would affect our choices.

“If we go left, we can fish some more.”

“Dude, I only caught three small ones, I’m done fishing.”

“Yea, but look at the map, these lakes are bigger, there’s bound to be bigger fish here.”

“Yea, but if we go this way, we can go over Blackrock pass. It says it’s the highest in the area. Think of the views, man!”

I didn’t really care either way. I only know that I didn’t beg and plead for two extra days off over the holiday weekend so I could listen to these two fools argue.

“Just make up your minds for pete’s sake!” I exhorted.

They reminded me of a buddy I used to have in law school.  He told me that once he was in a lecture, given by this professor that was famous for never losing an argument with his students. I mean never.  And this guy was going on and on, and my friend was certain that he’d made a logical mistake in his arguement. Not a big one mind you, but a small and noticeable one that might have a big impact the outcome of his arguement. Kind of like how Amelia Earhart is widely thought to have gotten lost by a mere fraction of a degree mistake, which added up.  Amazing what happens when you can make a small change and then just stand back and watch it grow. But the funny thing is, my friend, who is normally kind of shy, and doesn’t speak out much in class, somehow was able to tap into some magical source of confidence, like when you really know exactly what it is that you want, and you know exactly how you are going to get it. How many times have you been able to experience that knowing?  So anyways, my friend waited until just the right moment when he was able to exploit the advantage, and needless to say, the class was shocked. The professor was dumbstruck. He stood there for what my friend said was almost 5 minutes, which is a long time for a law professor to stand there and not say anything. A mime, yea, but not a law professor. Then someting funny happened. When my friend spoke, up, he didn’t know exactly what was going to happen. He was able to just say it, and allow for whatever result. After the five minutes (which in reality was probably more like thirty seconds), the professor started to clap. And then so did the rest of the class. The professor said it was a pleasure and a wonderful surprise to be so skillfully out argued by an undergraduate. It does feel really good to out argue somebody, when you really know your stuff, doesn’t it?

So I made up my mind, and took the trail to the left. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t give any reason. I just made my choice. If they followed me, great. If they didn’t, well, I drove so I had the car keys.  Funny thing was, we took the path to the pass, which did have some fantastically spectacular views, AND on the other wise were some great lakes, which had some pretty decent sized trout.

And as far as which movie we picked, we decided to decide over a couple of drinks, and we met some people, and, well, that’s another story.

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