Tag Archives: Habits

How He Lost His Bad Habit

Watch Out For Ducks Who Stare

Once upon a time there was a family of ducks. These were normal ducks; they didn’t have a deformed kid who later found out that he grew up in the wrong family, like in that other story. This was your normal, every day run of the mill duck family. They, like all other ducks, had their own collection of problems.

The father duck didn’t really like his boss very much, nor his job, but he realized that as an adult, a wife and three little ducklings, he couldn’t really afford to go back to school to get an advanced degree. His wife was supportive, she realized he wasn’t fulfilling his dream sin his job, and went to work every day largely out of familial obligations, for which she was grateful, and helped to ease his pain any way she could. She was all too aware of the growing problem of duck fathers leaving their families for more personally satisfying pursuits.

The kids were just as normal, not the smartest ducks in the class, but not the dumbest. Their grades were ok, and if they continued to proceed, they would likely get into decent duck college. But this is where things began to get a little strange for this seemingly normal duck family.

As it turns out, the youngest duck, which happened to be a boy, had a collection of special gifts that he had known about since elementary school, but kept to himself, for reasons he wasn’t quite sure of. These gifts were very strange, and at first he was very worried when he found out about them. But as time went on, and he learned to accept them, he grew more accustomed to them, and even enjoyed them.

One of his special talents was to impose a momentarily bout of amnesia on anybody that he focused his mind on. They would be in the middle of a sentence, and then suddenly pause, completely unsure of anything. For several seconds, they would develop a complete and utter blank for everything. They would forget who they were, where they were, what their names were, who the people were around them, and even how to speak. This usually lasted about five seconds, and then everything came flooding back.

This young duck would have great fun playing with his teachers and friends with this secret trick of his. He dared not tell his friends or family about it for fear of what might happen.

When he was younger, there was a young boy who lived up the street who developed some strange behaviors, and they came and took him away. And nobody ever saw him again. So this young duck was terribly afraid that once they figured out he had this gift, they would sneak up behind him, and steal him away to the insane asylum, from which nobody ever returned.

And then one day, the duck made a startling discovery. By focusing his mind strong enough, he was able to permanently erase another’s memory completely. He was very angry with another boy who teased him at school when he discovered this. He focused his energy with great anger, and they boy stopped talking, and sat down with a look of complete and utter bewilderment on his face. And he never recovered. They came and took him away, drooling and smiling vaguely. His parents, especially his mother, wailed uncontrollably, as he was their only child.

They would visit him in the special hospital, but he never did anything to acknowledge them. He just sat with a blank expression on his face, and drooled, and occasionally mumbled strange, incoherent words that nobody understood.

The thing that surprised the duck the most was that he actually felt pleasure when he thought of him, alone in his small room, drooling with a blank look on his face. He started to look forward to doing this to other people.

Pretty soon he would go downtown, where nobody would recognize him. He would choose people at random, and “melt their brain,” as he thought of it. He would feel immense pleasure at seeing somebody who was otherwise normal, walking through their daily life suddenly turn into a drooling, nonsense speaking burden on society. Once he did it to a taxi driver, who promptly crashed, killing all the people in his car.

Then one day the unthinkable happened. He was getting ready to melt he brain of an unsuspecting girl, whom he smiled at but didn’t return the smile, when he heard a voice in his head.

“We know who you are. And we know what you’ve been doing. If you don’t stop, you will suffer unimaginable pain and anguish. Do not doubt us.”

The young duck spun around, but nobody was looking at him. Nobody even looked as if they were trying to ignore him. He shook his head, wondering if he imagined it. He focused his concentration back on the girl, and readied himself to erase her brain.

“You did not imagine this.” The voice said.

“This is your last warning. If you even consider meddling with the thoughts of another, we assure you your consciousness will be transported forever to a world of torment and agony.”

The duck looked at the innocent girl again, who looked at him finally, and smiled.

How To Change Your Habitual Thinking to Powerfully Improve Your Life

It has long been recognized by many guru’s writers and sages throughout the centuries that the most certain to create the future you’d like is to manage the thoughts you are having now. Emerson wrote that is what he thinks about, most of the time. Napoleon Hill wrote that all great accomplishments of man have started with pure thought energy. The classic book “As A Man Thinketh” is yet another example of how your thoughts have a powerful and direct effect on the quality of your life.

What do you do if your thoughts are always focused on negative, fear or anxiety based images? What if your mind is filled with worry and negativity most of the time? Does that mean you are doomed to live a life filled with unhappiness and emotional pain?

I’m sure that you’ll acknowledge that you can’t be very happy if you are always thinking unhappy thoughts. Those that have happy and fulfilling lives are usually thinking happy and fulfilling thoughts. Because we all live in the same world, it would seem logical that if you changed your thoughts to a more positive perspective, you should see a slow change for the better.

But it’s not so simple. Thoughts are very sneaky, and have a way of running away from you when you are not paying attention. Luckily, just like any other bodily function, if you want to change a behavior, you only need to practice the new behavior long enough before it takes over the old behavior.

Unfortunately, for some this may take some time. But it is worth it, as the time you spend to change the quality of the thoughts you habitually think will have a drastic and profound effect on your daily life.

One powerful way to do this is to simply reverse your thoughts whenever you catch yourself. Simply flip everything around in your imagination that is negative, so it becomes positive.

For example, if you are having recurring worries about being fired, and you keep imagining in your boss calling you into his office and laying waste to your income, flip it around. Imagine the boss calling you in and giving you a raise and a promotion. This may seem a little uncomfortable, even impossible at first. You’d be surprised how habitual thoughts can seemingly dominate your mind to the point of not allowing any others in.

But the more you practice, and really force yourself to get into the new thought; it will slowly become a habit. It’s important to really flood your mind with good thoughts and feelings when you are thinking the new thought, that way you will train your brain to think those instead.

Because the brain naturally gravitates towards fear and protection, it might seem that the power of your new “forced” positive emotions don’t stand a chance against the comfortable worry and anxiety. That’s ok. Just like switching from eating McDonalds for lunch every day to eating turkey on whole wheat takes time, there eventually comes a point where you will crave the turkey on whole wheat, and despite even the thought of a Big Mac.

And so it is with your thoughts. The more you practice really feeling good with the opposite of your old anxiety driven fears, and quicker you will start to think those on a regular basis.

And when you start thinking positive thoughts on a regular basis, they will become unconscious and automatic. And that is when you can start creating new things in your life, almost like magic.
But it really isn’t magic. When you habitually think good, positive thoughts, that will come across in your behavior and your speech, and others will pick up on it. Your relationships will improve; you’ll get noticed more at work, strangers will smile at you more often.

It’s important to distinguish real, automatic deep positive thinking form Pollyanna style positive thinking. That usually comes across as fake and insincere, and I’m sure you know when somebody is projecting that kind of “happiness.”

The happiness you are shooting for is deep and automatic, and very subtle. And very powerful. Which is why you should make it a habit.

So remember, whenever you find your mind spiraling downward into a pit of depression and despair, just flip everything around in your mind. And be patient, as the outside world usually takes a while to catch up. Hang in there.

Crystalize Your Focus

I was listening to an interesting radio show the other day. It was one where people could call in. I don’t think it was live, as I was listening over the internet. It’s a pretty major market in the U.S., so they have a fairly large internet presence.

The topic was “free or all Friday” or something like that. I think normally it is a politically themed talk show, with the kind of slant you’d expect from a politically themed radio talk show. But because it was “free for all Friday” they had abandoned their normal programming, and let callers talk about whatever they wanted to. They had some interesting debates between two and even three callers at a time.

So one guy started talking about how you are capable of really improving your life with this new technique he was talking about. I’m not sure if he was selling something or not, because the other guy kept interrupting him. Anyways, the guy kept saying that because you are paying attention to this, you can really start to become aware of the fantastic opportunities that are around you, every day.

Now this started sounding a little new-agey to me, so while I was listening I started surfing around, and looking on other websites. And I happened across a web site that specialized in crystals, among other things. I guess that’s what happens when you click on the ads on a page about new age thinking.

I had a friend once who was really interested in crystals. She was always telling me that proper crystal meditation, or meditating when using crystals properly can really help you increase your focus on what you want to do in life. She even went so far as to say that the meaning of life itself was only realized when you fully pursue happiness. The reason that people have difficulties, is they tend to only focus on short term happiness, rather than long term happiness. Sometimes it’s hard to keep your focus on what will provide lasting results. Other people tend to focus on things that will produce happiness, but only in the short term.

Like some people like to eat fast food a lot. When they think about eating, then tend to think of what will taste good right here, right now. One thing my friend recommends that you do, when making a decision is to always pause. She calls it the one hour rule (at least when she applies it to eating.) She says imagine what you would feel like in what hour, if you ate what you wanted to eat, and then bring that feeling back into the now, and inject it into your decision making process.

She said that when you take the time to do that, you can’t help but to have a more informed choice, and that can easily turn into a better choice.
Of course, it takes time to get into the habit of doing this, but I’m sure that because you’ve done things before that you are proud of, starting a new habit is old hat to you, not like some people.

I actually ended up buying a crystal from that website, a rose quartz double terminated one. I don’t know if it will have any metaphysical effects, but it sure looks cool.


Slow Habits Create Powerful Success

I was flipping through youtube the recently. Sometimes I like to watch funny videos, other times I like to find great scenes from movies, other times I like to find inspirational speeches. I came across this one clip about some self help guru talking about the importance of setting habits, and creating actions that you do every day that can drastically improve your life over time. He was saying that most people’s biggest complaint is that they’d like to start a new habit, but they can’t find the time or the energy to add something else to their otherwise busy day.

Like a friend of mine that used to date a personal trainer. She was saying that when people want to start an exercise program, they think they need to exercise three hours a day in order to see any results. And it’s true to an extent, meaning that if you go to the gym, and seek out the most cut and physically perfect people there, they’re either extremely genetically gifted, or they spend a great deal of time there.

But she was saying that most of them, if they were honest, would admit that when they first started out, it wasn’t like that. It was just a simple decision to do something small every day that will push them towards their goal. And they would most likely admit, as she tells her clients, that when you start small, it’s the best way to create long substantial results.

Which reminds me of a speech I was listening to one night at toastmasters. This guy was talking about reading the newspaper. English was his second language, and he wanted to read the newspaper every day to increase his vocabulary and his comprehension. So he had wanted to make it a habit to read every day. He said that was very important to him. And since he was up giving a speech, and his English was near flawless, it was pretty clear to everyone that he’d succeeded in his goal. When asked about how he tackled such a big goal, he said that when you want to choose to do something, and make this a habit, the easiest way is to attach it somehow to something that you are already doing.

For example he would have a newspaper there on his table every morning. So every morning he would tell himself, every time you sit down, you will remember to read this. And every time you wake up, you will remember to read this. And every time before you fall asleep, you will ask yourself if you read this or not.

And people asked him how long it took, and he said it only took a few days of reminding himself to make this a habit. I’ve read other place that say it takes about twenty one days to make something habit, and other people have told me they were able to achieve success in shorter lengths of time.

And that is exactly what my friend  recommends when she takes on new clients. Start slow. Build up slowly. Like the guy at the toastmaster club, just read one article every day, and you will improve. And my friend retains a lot of customers that way. Other trainers try to get people to jump into time and work intensive workouts right away. I guess he is afraid he will lose clients if they don’t feel they are getting instant results really quickly. Other clients tend to stay longer when they start slow and slowly build and build.

So I think that youtube is a great resource, for many reasons besides just entertainment. And even some of the entertainment is pretty inspiring, to say the least. It’s something that I try to do on a regular basis. I guess you could say that it is a habit of mine.


Towards Pleasure and Away From Pain

As I write this article, it is a time of year where many people around the globe resolve to do certain things, or stop doing certain things. While this article can help in that regard, you can easily use it to create new goals, or get rid of bad habits any time of the year.

If you’ve read my articles on goal setting, or creating a compelling future, this one will blend right in. If you haven’t had the chance yet, you might consider it so that you can receive maximum benefit.

In this article, you will learn an easy to learn and simple to implement technique to motivate yourself to put into action a plan that you’d like to begin, but for some reason, haven’t yet (until now) been able to find the motivation.

It’s based on the idea that all humans are generally motivated by two broad categories. Toward pleasure, and away from pain. And this procedure makes use of those two tendencies to supercharge your brain to naturally move you in the direction you want to go.

Step One

Think of something you’d like to do more of, or something you’d like to do less of. For example, lets say exercise more. So the thing you want to do more of is exercise more.

Step Two

Brainstorm all the great things that will happen on three different levels, if you exercise more. On three different levels, I mean three different levels of cause/effect. For example, if I exercise more, I’ll sleep better at night. If I sleep better at night, I’ll be able to do better at my job everyday. If I do better at my job everyday, the chances I’ll get promoted will increase. See how that works? Keep in mind your main goal is to start to exercise more, and the second and third things are simply the carrot to keep pulling you in that direction. Once exercising more is a firm habit (in this example,) you can move on to other things.

Step Three

Brainstorm all the negative, things, along with the three levels of cause/effect of the bad things that will happen if you don’t start your program. For example, if I don’t start to exercise, then I’ll gain weight, and if I gain weight, then I’ll have to buy more clothes, and if I buy more clothes, I won’t have as much money, and so on and so on. Remember, these are to keep you focusing on negative aspects of life, but to give you impetus to move away from the things you don’t want to happen.

Now if you picked something you wanted to stop doing, like biting your nails, the process is the same. Brainstorm all the good things that will happen if you stop, and all the bad things that will happen if you don’t.

If you spend a few minutes to do this every night, you will soon find that you almost automatically start to move in the direction you want to go. And before you know it, you will be keeping a journal filled with all your easy successes in life.

If you enjoyed this article, remember to check back often for more, as I update this site daily. And be sure to share or link this site, because when you help others, you are really helping yourself.


Program Your Brain for Automatic Success

I read a news story a while back about some rich sheik from an oil rich country that visited the United States. He bought a motor home, and noticed that the motor home had a cruise control feature. He set the cruise control, and proceeded to go in the back to take a nap, thinking that motor home would drive by itself. I guess money can’t buy everything.

While they are starting to build cars that can parallel park themselves, I think we’re still a long way off from having cars will automatically drive us to our destinations.

But what if you were to discover a way to easily drive you to your destination? Almost as if by magic? How would you like to be able to program you brain to naturally find things so it would automatically make it easy for you to get what you want out of life? It’s a lot simpler than you might imagine. Are you ready to learn how?

The Chinese refer to it as ‘Future Memory.’ Ben Franklin (you rememeber him, right?) referred to it as a ‘Daily Review.’ It’s easy to do, and a lot more powerful that it appears.

First you need to establish a list of strengths, things you like about yourself, and another list things that you would like to get rid of. Bad habits, thoughts, beliefs. Make both lists as long or as short as you want, but make sure you have at least three on each list.

Now make a list of things you want to achieve. Make them good things, but not too far out there. For example, to lose 10 pounds would be ok, or lower your golf score by 5 points would be fine.  While you should always feel comfortable to set big goals, for this particular exericise, choose something small. After you easily prove to yourself that it works, you can naturally move on to bigger and better things.

So now you have three short lists, right? Here’s how it works. After you finish your day, sometime shortly before you go to sleep, review your lists. You can do this by hand or on the computer, either way is fine, as long as you write it down.  On on page, you should have your three lists. On each page after that make three columns, labeled stregths, weaknesses, and goals. Have a separte sheet or document for each. Under each column, write what ever you did that day to:

1) Decrease your weaknesses
2) Increase your strengths
3) Move toward your goals

The important thing is to remember any thing, any small thing that is a step in the right direction, no matter how small you think it is. For example, if your goal is to lose ten pounds, and you normally eat a whole pint of ice cream while watching TV at night, and on that particular day, you ate the whole pint MINUS a thimblefull, that is fantastic. Write it down. Feel proud. Feel gratitude. Thank yourself. Likewise with your strengths or weakenss. ANYTHING is fine.

The key here is to build momentum. The more you do this, the easier and more natural it will get. And you will likely see yourself changing in fantastic ways as if by magic. But because you are likely to start small, it’s best to keep this list a secret until you are comfortable enough to brag about your fantastic accomlishments to your friends. If you make sure to spend just a few minutes every night, you will slowly build momentum until your strengths far outweigh your weaknesses, and your goals will begin to appear almost automatically. And your friends will naturally wonder why you have suddenly become so successful.

And please remember to check back often, as I will be updating this site regularly. And while it’s good to keep the above technique a secret, feel free to share this site with your friends, because it really feels good to help people out.