If you are a smoker, or a drinker, or an overeater,Â and you’ve ever decided to cut back, or quit, you’ve probably heard the advice that you should tell as many other people as you can about your goal, in order to give yourself some social support to keep going, and some social pressure in case you backslide.Â This can beÂ great advice. Many times I’ve hadÂ weight loss bets with friends to keep motivation high.Â I’m sure you can remember a time when you wanted to achieve a goal,Â or stop or cut back a habit and haveÂ been able to enjoy support form friends and family.
Other, more lofty goals, may require a different tact.Â These might beÂ better left secret. There is an ancient law of magic that goes as follows:
ToÂ Be Silent
Let’s breakÂ them down, shall we?
Sounds simpleÂ enough.Â You want to do something. It helps if you know what you are doing.Â Skills. Techniques.Â Where to get resources. Many places can help youÂ in this regard. Library. Friends. Mentors.Â Websites. Humans are by nature, very curious creatures, so finding information can be the easiestÂ part ofÂ creating a reality that you desire.
ThisÂ is where the fun begins. YouÂ have a vague idea of what you want. Happiness, wealth,Â sexual and emotional intimacy. To will you need to create a planÂ and make a decision to bring it into being. This is different from a wish, or a hope,Â Â or a longing. ThisÂ is a strongÂ decision to createÂ what you want, by hook or by crook. Or as the character in Apollo Thirteen put it so succinctly, you must decide that “Failure is Not anÂ Option!”
ThisÂ is the scary part. You’ve decided you wantÂ to create a relationship. You’ve studied material on how to be socially adept, how to flirt,Â how to ask the right questions. You’ve madeÂ the decision to make this happen.Â Now there he or she is. You mustÂ walk over and introduce yourself. What separates the Bill GatesÂ and the Tiger Woods and the Oprah Winfreys from the rest of the wanna be hacks isÂ your ability to try and try and try again and again untilÂ you get it right. To be able to take action, over and over again,Â until there world is exactly howÂ you want it.Â When you realizeÂ that life affords you as many chances as you are willing to take, this can be easier.Â The opportunity of a lifetime comes along just as often as you are prepared to take it.
To Be Silent.
This is where the metaphysical cool stuff starts. Some sayÂ that byÂ keeping your goal silent,Â you build up psychic energy that will increase theÂ your will and your ability toÂ take action over and over again. Some say that you shouldn’t tell others about important goals, because they mightÂ give you reasons that you hadn’t thought of as toÂ why you can’t achieveÂ it. Sometimes this can be a blessing. WhenÂ I was in high school I had decided to runÂ a marathon.Â I told my best friend, and he told me, with as much good intentions as possible, that he didn’t thinkÂ IÂ could finish, and I might injure myself. I took this as a challenge, and allowed his disbelief inÂ my ability to spur me on to finish. AndÂ hobble around in pain for a few weeks, but that’s another story.Â
This is aÂ rare case.Â Many times when you share your goal with somebody, unless you are aÂ hundred percentÂ decided that you will succeed, even the best intentionsÂ can derail you.Â Another theory is that if youÂ have a huge goal,Â even support can derail you. It works likeÂ this. Say you want to start your own company. You have this fantastic image in your mind with yourself being successful,Â with people giving you all kinds of props because of yourÂ great business. You useÂ this visualizationÂ to pull you through rough patches of doubt. If you tell others, and they believe you and support you, their support and well wishes might take away the attractive pull of your visualization. If peopleÂ in the present are giving youÂ props for your dreams, the props you imagine receiving in the future might have less effect, andÂ give you less incentive in those times of doubt.
So itÂ boils down to the type of goal you want. If you want to loseÂ weight, or give up a habit,Â it can help to enlist the support of others. If you want to create something fantastic in your life, be careful who you tell.Â Perhaps it’s better not to tell anybody until after you’ve already achieved success. If youÂ are lucky enough to have a specialÂ relationship with somebody that will support you as much as you support yourself, teamworkÂ can be a great asset.Â
Otherwise, be silent.Â AnÂ powerful goal, unspoken to others, can grow to enormous proportions, giving you more power than you’ve ever dreamed.Â And youÂ may be surprised how being able toÂ tap this power will automatically give you an incredibleÂ mastery overÂ reality unknown to most, and envied by many.