Who is that over there? Wow. They look kind of interesting. Should you go talk to them? What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t know what to say?
Have you ever had these thoughts? Evil blobs of mind poison that instantly crippled any short lived hopes you’d had of maybe being able to make a friend?
Well, you are in luck, because I am going to not only show you a foolproof way to start a conversation with a complete stranger, but how you can make them do all the talking, and end up thinking you are the stunning conversationalist. Ready? Let’s go.
You will need three basic tools.
1) How to form a tag question.
2) How to ask interesting, open ended follow up questions.
3) Basic body language reading skills.
First thing you need to do is approach casually, and stand a few yards from them for a couple of minutes. Just find any old excuse to go hang out near their “space.” While you are standing there, notice something interesting about the environment. The trees, the weather, anything that makes you think, just a little bit, wow, cool. Let’s say you see a cool leaf on a tree. (This is just an example, if there are no trees in your situation, this probably won’t work out so well). Look at the leaf, imagine out how cool it is. Try and think of all the stuff that’s happened since the big bang, and here this leaf is right here, being all leafy.
Now you make your move. Bust out your brilliant tag question.
“Wow, that is a really cool leaf, isn’t it?”
Be sure when you say the “isn’t it” part, you don’t make it sound like a question. Make it sound like a statement. And smile. Next come your wicked body language skills. If the person responds with “um, yea” and looks like he or she just found a cockroach in their kool aid, then move on, the conversation is over. If they look at the leaf, and then at you, you’re in. Bonus points if they match your smile.
Next you ask your open ended question. About anything that’s easy to talk about, the surroundings, party, bar, study session, whatever.
“So what do you think about….” and insert any old topic. Then as he or she is speaking, watch their face for signs of life. Whatever they say when their face lights up, grab it.
Watch them talk, watch their face, and ask them for more information about things they seem happy about. Nothing too personal. Some good questions are:
How do you feel about..
What do you like about…
What is your favorite part about…
Just pick out a few words here and there, follow up on them while you speak, and they will think you are the greatest conversationalist since Dale Carnegie. Make sure to throw your name out in there someplace, don’t wait for them to ask. They’re probably nervous. It’s not everyday people get approached by a wicked word master like you!
Make sure to come back often, and tell your friends, as I will be posting several “How To..” articles that can easily improve your life in many ways.
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