Our mind is very clever.
But it’s also like an overprotective mother.
The one who makes you promise when you go outside that you won’t talk to strangers, won’t cross the street, and stay within ten yards of your front door.
This is the whole angle behind cognitive dissonance.
Our own brains don’t let us see things it thinks might hurt our feelings.
Kind of like having your mom walk behind you and cover your ears of she hears people saying curse words.
Take a moment to think about the insidiousness of cognitive dissonance.
Since we literally CAN NOT see what might make us “feel bad,” we are necessarily MISSING plenty of opportunities.
This happens to guys all the time.
They literally (not figuratively or metaphorically) CANNOT see positive signals that girls are giving them.
Their brains figure that if they DID see that cute girl over in the corner who’s been checking him out, he would have to DO something about it.
And that would be very scary.
So that overprotective brain doesn’t let him see it.
So he goes home, and complains to his friends.
“Any luck?” they ask.
“Nope, didn’t see ANY cute girls.”
Look on any pick up, seduction, or relationship forum, and this is the most common complaint.
“I’m not in a relationship because the dating market sucks.”
Because it’s easy to find this belief today, we are even LESS LIKELY to question it.
We “see it” in our experience. (We actually “hallucinate it”). And then it’s verified through social proof.
But here’s a secret trick to self development.
One that FEW PEOPLE have the courage to even contemplate.
Few people get what they want in life.
Most people complain.
And the EASIEST excuse to “accept” (because of that over protective cognitive dissonance) is of the form, “It’s not my fault.”
In fact, if you look over political slogans since the dawn of time, they are of the form:
“Your problems are not your fault. Vote for me and I’ll fix ’em.”
So what’s the secret?
Tell your cognitive dissonance to take a hike.
Even if you TRULY BELIEVE that all of your problems are “somebody else’s fault” pretend, just for a little bit that you HAVE more power than you really think.
Because just by taking a few TINY steps outside of your comfort zone, you’ll start to see those things that you may now be missing.
Don’t accept excuses, especially from yourself.