The human brain is very quick, but often not very accurate.

Otherwise optical illusions (or even movies) wouldn’t work.

We see things that aren’t really the way they are.

There’s even a weird “audio illusion” where if you listen to static long enough, you’ll start to hear sounds that aren’t there.

Unfortunately, some people may think they’re listening to ghosts or demons or something.

One common misunderstanding is when we see two events take place, one after the other, and assume that one caused the other.

In Latin this is referred to as, “post hoc ergo propter hoc.”

Here’s an example. You’re hanging out a bar or club, and you see some guy walk over and talk to a girl or guy you’ve had your eye on.

They have an obviously enjoyable conversation for a few minutes (they are both laughing) and then they leave together.

You think to yourself, “Hmm, I wish I knew what he said to her!”

Here’s another example using the same structure, but it’s obvious how “incorrect” it is.

You go to a friends house for a dinner party. They serve an absolutely delicious cake for desert. You would like very much to bake on just like it.

So you ask them, “Hey, that cake was delicious, what kind of icing did you use?”

And you thought that all you needed to know was the icing.

The words we use are really just the icing on the cake.

They are an outcome of our internal behavior.

Here’s a point to prove it.

Let’s say some absolutely gorgeous person is eyeing you from across the room.

They walk over to introduce themselves.

They closer they get, the more you are attracted. The way they move, the way they carry themselves, their posture.

Now, which thought would be more likely:

“Wow, this is so cool!”

or

“Hmm. They look gorgeous and are interested in me, but if they say something that isn’t super witty or clever I’m going to tell them to get lost.”

The truth is that the words we actually use are important, but they aren’t the ONLY thing.

Just like the icing is only put on AFTER the cake is made (and in reality the cake will still be pretty good without the icing), the words are only the last bit of information.

In fact, if that metaphorical gorgeous person didn’t even speak English (or your native language) that probably wouldn’t even matter.

So, how do you build up the inner cake?

By building up how much you feel confident and relaxed no matter who you are around.

And just like any other skill, the more you practice, the easier it gets.

Click Here To Learn How