Monthly Archives: February 2009

Spinning New Beliefs

The other day I picked up a book of old Far Side cartoons. I can remember reading them when I was in high school. I was flipping through the pages randomly, and I came across one that I saw was pretty funny. It was of a spider, standing back looking at the web he had just constructed. You how you do, when you take the time to create something, and then you can’t help but to stand back and admire your work?

Like I had a Japanese friend once. She was telling me that Japanese enjoy their food twice. Once when it is prepared, and once when they eat it. If you’ve ever had the experience of eating a traditional Japanese meal, you know what I’m talking about. The colors, the smells, and porcelain dishes that are used. It is prepared with an almost religious ceremony, but not quite.

I understand that religion in Japan is quite different than in the west. In the west, you have churches, temples, mosques. In Japan, there are two main religions. Shintoism, and Buddhism. From what little I understand of Shintoism, the belief is that there is a Kami, or a god that resides in every living thing, even non living things depending on the branch you happen to be following. And they have Shrines set up all over that reflect this, on hills, riverbeds, city blocks.

I remember reading an article in the newspaper a while ago regarding this. It was kind of survey of the history of religion, looking at the difference between polytheistic societies, or societies that have more than one god, and monotheistic societies, or societies that only have one god.  And the author of the article was opining that polytheistic religions seem to be less ‘warlike’ than monotheistic religions. His argument was that they avoid the whole “my god is better than your god” fight that people get into so much. People that worship many gods, or worship one god, but realize that there are many gods to choose from, are somehow able to be more tolerant of other peoples beliefs.

Like the other day we met a business colleague from out of town, and he said he could only eat vegetarian food. We didn’t question his reasons or ask him why he was a vegetarian. On the way there, my friend told me that you need to be accepting of other peoples beliefs. Because you never know, someday they might be your beliefs.

We’ve all heard that before you criticize somebody, walk a mile in his shoes. It would be interesting if before people judged others, they could think a mile in their thoughts. Because when you try on new beliefs, the world tends to look a little bit different. And once you can free your mind up to try on different beliefs, a funny thing happens. You start to realize that you don’t have to abandon your old belief completely, or accept the new one completely. You can simply keep the parts of the new one that you want, and only get rid of the old parts that aren’t working so well. It’s pretty cool when you can do this on a regular basis.

Of course, the spider from the far side cartoon wasn’t too happy, because his web was all messed up, and he was thinking to himself “That can’t be right.” Which is ok, because if you are a spider, and you make a mistake, all you have to do is make another one. It’s not like you are going to run out of web spinning material, and there is certainly plenty of places to put your new ideas up.

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Make All Things New

Nothing ever new is invented. Or so they say. And they kind of have a point. Harry Potter has been compared to Star Wars, which has been compared to the Wizard of Oz. The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran, has been compared to the book of Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament. The Ten Commandments, attributed to Moses, are said to be inspired by ancient laws taken from the Egyptian Book of the Dead.

So what’s the point? It’s been said that when you begin to realize you can never really create something completely new unlike anything that has ever existed, it’s kind of comforting. It takes the pressure of. You can easily relax, because you know that building on previous accomplishments can give you a leg up. Many scientists admit they only have gotten where they are by standing on the shoulders of giants that came before them.

And this brings to light an interesting point about human nature. It can be comforting when you realize that all people have similar needs and desires. When you understand that most people really want the same thing underneath, it can make it easy to discover common ground when dealing with others. That is pretty much the basis of all contract negotiation. Discussing what both parties want, and figuring out to satisfy everybody. And in the end, more often than not, you may realize your needs, which you might have thought were far apart, are actually a lot more similar than expected.

On the flip side, of course, is the simple fact that everybody is different. Everybody has their own unique views and experience. You take several people and have them look at an abstract painting, and they all come up with a different interpretation, based on their own history, experience, and emotions. This can make meeting and getting to know new people one of the most wonderful experiences available. The more you expand yourself to seek and experience new ideas, the broader our perspectives grow to encompass things we never dreamed possible.

I was in a strange city once, talking to a friend over the phone. He was giving me directions on how to meet him the next day for lunch. They were fairly complex instructions, involving navigating a strange subway system, going in and out of multiple exits. The fact that all the signs were written in Japanese (a language I didn’t speak at the time) didn’t help. He ended the conversation by saying something surprising. He told me that because there were several subway lines and exits and landmarks to recognize and navigate, it was likely that I’d become lost and confused. He said “And that’s really awesome, because you can realize the opportunity, AND the excuse to talk to and get to know many people along the way.” Before then, I’d never thought that getting lost could be considered an opportunity.

It’s our differences, and out unique perspectives on the same things that everybody shares that gives us such a wonderful opportunity to experience life in new and exciting ways, even if we do the same things and see the same people every day.

How many ways can you find ways to experience something or someone new, today?

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Fishing for Results in a Sea of Certainty

Recently I’ve been eating a lot of fish. In fact yesterday, I amazed my friends with my announcement that I was regularly eating fish for breakfast. Well, not really. Surprised is probably a better word. Fish is really healthy. It’s too bad that people don’t have a natural craving for. Despite it’s obvious health benefits, many of my friends can’t stand the smell of it, let alone the taste. They say that it smells too, uh, fishy.

Catching fish is an interesting process. There are several different ways to catch fish. When most people think of catching fish, they usually imagine finding a place to sit close to the water, and have their fishing pole, and fishing gear nearby. Then you cast your line into the water, and wait for the fish to bite. Others like to use lures. And depending on what kind of fish you want to catch, you can use different lures. Like spinners, which you cast out, wait a few seconds, and then reel in. The lure spins as you reel it in, to create some type attraction for the fish that you want to catch.

I remember I was sitting with my brother once, on a lake in the mountains. We were fishing, and talking. He turned to me and said that this is one of those experiences, and you feel you must share this with others. Like when you find this interesting, and you want to show others. You want to see if they find this as interesting as you do. I don’t know if you’ve ever been able to experience something in such a way that you want to tell others about it, but I’m pretty sure you can imagine those things now that you’ve been able to experience in your own way.

Other ways to catch fish are commercial methods. For these, they use large nets to cast out, and catch many fish at once. This is kind of the opposite strategy. Instead of throwing out a small piece of bait, and trying to attract what you want, you go and find it. And grab it. In large quantities. It’s funny how that works.

Fishing for pleasure, you bait your hook, and hope the fish find you. And sometimes, sitting and waiting is the best part. Like with my brother. I don’t even remember if we caught anything, because I had such a good time just being able to enjoy the process.

Fishing for results, on the other hand, is something else entirely. You determine exactly what it is that you are after. You choose your tools, and you go and get exactly what it is that you want. You can use big nets, large boats, and whatever else you want to use at your disposal to get what you want, again and again, without any question that you will be successful.

And the cool thing about this is, is either way you can be successful. You can make a little effort, and enjoy the process of attracting what you want. Or you can determine exactly what it is that you want, and enjoy the certainty that you will undoubtedly get it. Again and again.

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Powerful Focus on the Present to Create an Automatic Future

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you just stopped thinking about the future? I don’t mean forget your three year plan for a while, or even take a break from your exercise routine. I mean totally, completely live in the present. I read a book on dating that said the best thing to do when you meet somebody for the first time was to walk up to them completely cold. That is, not have any clue whatsoever what you were going to say until you actually opened your mouth and started talking. Just make it up right there, and let the words come out however they may.

Sounds pretty terrifying, and it is, at first. Then something really strange happens. You start to get really creative, and think of wonderful things to say right there, right in the moment. It’s like by releasing all the worry and anxiety about what you think you should say, you open yourself up to really pay attention to what is going on right here in front of you. And when you are talking to somebody, and you really feel present here, you can really begin to feel something special. It’s hard to describe if you have never been able to experience this, now.

I was reading a novel once, I believe it was The Vanished Man by Jeffrey Deaver. In this book, these cops were talking to an expert on magic and illusions. And he was saying that there really is no past, because all the memories we have are fairly inaccurate. And the present is unknown, which really only leaves us with the present. And when you focus too much on a future, through worrying about something that isn’t likely to happen, you lose mental energy. And when you bring up stuff from the past, that you don’t remember correctly anyways, you also lose mental energy.

By focusing your energy on the present, you can really begin to notice the abundance that has been around you all the time. Waiting patiently for you to dive into it and let the world know what it is you want.

Of course you always need to have an eye on the future, so that you can plan to be successful in the way that you want. It’s just as important to keep learnings from the past handy in case you discover an opportunity where you can apply them to receive immediate benefit. The trick is to leverage learnings from your past into your future by choosing the right actions and thoughts to have and do now, in the present. When you can optimize your present thoughts and actions, your future will pretty much take of itself. All you have to do is show up and meet it.

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The Unstoppable Power of Silence

If you are a smoker, or a drinker, or an overeater, and you’ve ever decided to cut back, or quit, you’ve probably heard the advice that you should tell as many other people as you can about your goal, in order to give yourself some social support to keep going, and some social pressure in case you backslide. This can be great advice. Many times I’ve had weight loss bets with friends to keep motivation high. I’m sure you can remember a time when you wanted to achieve a goal, or stop or cut back a habit and have been able to enjoy support form friends and family.

Other, more lofty goals, may require a different tact. These might be better left secret. There is an ancient law of magic that goes as follows:

To Know

To Will

To Dare

To Be Silent

Let’s break them down, shall we?

To Know.

Sounds simple enough. You want to do something. It helps if you know what you are doing. Skills. Techniques. Where to get resources. Many places can help you in this regard. Library. Friends. Mentors. Websites. Humans are by nature, very curious creatures, so finding information can be the easiest part of creating a reality that you desire.

To Will

This is where the fun begins. You have a vague idea of what you want. Happiness, wealth, sexual and emotional intimacy. To will you need to create a plan and make a decision to bring it into being. This is different from a wish, or a hope,  or a longing. This is a strong decision to create what you want, by hook or by crook. Or as the character in Apollo Thirteen put it so succinctly, you must decide that “Failure is Not an Option!”

To Dare

This is the scary part. You’ve decided you want to create a relationship. You’ve studied material on how to be socially adept, how to flirt, how to ask the right questions. You’ve made the decision to make this happen. Now there he or she is. You must walk over and introduce yourself. What separates the Bill Gates and the Tiger Woods and the Oprah Winfreys from the rest of the wanna be hacks is your ability to try and try and try again and again until you get it right. To be able to take action, over and over again, until there world is exactly how you want it. When you realize that life affords you as many chances as you are willing to take, this can be easier. The opportunity of a lifetime comes along just as often as you are prepared to take it.

To Be Silent.

This is where the metaphysical cool stuff starts. Some say that by keeping your goal silent, you build up psychic energy that will increase the your will and your ability to take action over and over again. Some say that you shouldn’t tell others about important goals, because they might give you reasons that you hadn’t thought of as to why you can’t achieve it. Sometimes this can be a blessing. When I was in high school I had decided to run a marathon. I told my best friend, and he told me, with as much good intentions as possible, that he didn’t think I could finish, and I might injure myself. I took this as a challenge, and allowed his disbelief in my ability to spur me on to finish. And hobble around in pain for a few weeks, but that’s another story. 

This is a rare case. Many times when you share your goal with somebody, unless you are a hundred percent decided that you will succeed, even the best intentions can derail you.  Another theory is that if you have a huge goal, even support can derail you. It works like this. Say you want to start your own company. You have this fantastic image in your mind with yourself being successful, with people giving you all kinds of props because of your great business. You use this visualization to pull you through rough patches of doubt. If you tell others, and they believe you and support you, their support and well wishes might take away the attractive pull of your visualization. If people in the present are giving you props for your dreams, the props you imagine receiving in the future might have less effect, and give you less incentive in those times of doubt.

So it boils down to the type of goal you want. If you want to lose weight, or give up a habit, it can help to enlist the support of others. If you want to create something fantastic in your life, be careful who you tell. Perhaps it’s better not to tell anybody until after you’ve already achieved success. If you are lucky enough to have a special relationship with somebody that will support you as much as you support yourself, teamwork can be a great asset. 

Otherwise, be silent. An powerful goal, unspoken to others, can grow to enormous proportions, giving you more power than you’ve ever dreamed. And you may be surprised how being able to tap this power will automatically give you an incredible mastery over reality unknown to most, and envied by many.

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Supercharge Your Life with Powerful Flexibility

So I was sitting there, waiting for the train. When I looked up the times on the internet, I mistakenly wrote down the train going the other direction, instead of the one going in the direction I wanted to go to. So I got on the train going the other direction, seeing I didn’t have any big plans, just to head downtown and maybe find a new coffee shop to hang out in. Funny how that works. You plan something, and then based on mistake or a whim, you can easily change your plans, that is if you can be flexible enough with your plans.

Some people make plans, but forget to dig deeper and uncover exactly why you are making your plans. Some people plan to do things because they think it is what other people expect them to do. Others plan based on what they did yesterday. I think It’s important to know the reasons for your plans, so if your plans don’t come through, you can always hold on to your reasons and put them someplace else that can be convenient. 

For example, my plan today was to find a nice quiet place to hang out, do some reading, some journaling, and dig into my thoughts to see if I can find something interesting that I’d forgotten was up there. Or maybe have a look around to maybe do re arranging or some general housekeeping type maintenance, which I’m sure you know is good to do from time to time.

But since I looked up the wrong time on the internet, I decided to catch the train going the other direction. I’d heard that there was a pretty decent shopping area that way, and since I’d never been there, I figured what the heck. I still had my backpack with my notebook, and pencils and pens to write with, so as long as I found a table that didn’t shake too much when I wrote, I’d be ok.

Turns out I was way more than OK.  I found a really cool little cafe that just opened a few months ago. They had some really tasty bagel sandwiches, and a really friendly staff and some pleasant background music against which I could easily write and think and arrange thoughts into more resourceful patterns.

Now had I gone in the right direction, I would have gone to the same coffee shop I’d already been to. I probably would have sat at the same table and eaten the same thing. Instead, I was able to discover something new, which was really there all the time. So when you think about it, I doubled a lot of things today. Before, I could only go one direction, but since I can now choose a direction, I have twice as many places to go. And because the new place I went to today is filled with restaurants, I now have twice as many restaurants to choose from. And because I can catch trains going both directions, I can be more flexible when deciding what time I have to leave.

It’s amazing how much the world opens up when you simply allow yourself to make mistakes, so that the unknown can become familiar and friendly. Because there are a lot of places in the world you can discover, and make friends with as you become used to doing new things for the first time. And one of the coolest things about that is you get to meet lots of new people along the way.

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