So there I was, standing just off stage. I had done this exact same thing a year ago, but I didn’t remember it being so incredibly pulse quickening. Boom. Boom. Boom. Why was my heart beating so fast? I was so calm just a minute ago, when I was safely behind the curtain, watching all the people scurrying around like caffeine infused mice readying for the performance. But now, just off stage left, waiting for my cue, I peak out into the hall. Lower level. Full. Upper level Ful. Boom. Boom. Boom. What is happening? Why is something I didn’t think was a big deal a minute ago now giving me palpatations? There is my cue, as I step out…
Kind of like I step out for my walk every morning. I usually walk a kind of a loop that looks like a figure eight. On the top part of the figure eight I stop at a convenience store and buy a a small shot of yogurt drink. Good for the digestion, you see. The digestive track is something that you don’t really pay attention to until there is something wrong. Like a couple time’s I’ve had the unfortunate (and uncomfortable) experience of having to pay attention to my digestive track, if you can see what I’m saying. So I make it a point every morning before I actually step out, to grab enough change from my change bowl, next to my front door, so I’ll be able to have the money to pay the girl at the convenience store for my yogurt drink.
Funny thing is that when I was a kid, I hated yogurt. And when I think back to why I did, I conclude that it was only because adults told me it was good for me, and therefore I should drink it. Becuase of course I’m sure you’ve realized many times before that it is good to do what is good for you, right? Of course I later discovered that sometimes it’s not always a good strategy to reject ideas simply because they don’t belong to you. Naturally the opposite is true. I don’t think you should accept new ideas automatically. You probably already know that it’s good idea is to check them to make sure that they are good for you, first. Good for you like yogurt. And delicious too. Which is why I make it a habit to remember to grab my change before I leave, so I can pay for the yogurt when I get to the convenience store. Because no money, no yogurt. (Or honey, if you’re into that as a morning drink).
Which is why, in retrospect, I guess it was good that my heart started pounding before I walked on stage. Because as soon as I walked out there, and realized why I was there, the nervousness was somehow able to magically change into excitement. Obviously I enjoyed my small part (the introduction), the kids enjoyed their singing (It was for a kindergarden performance) and everbody was able to relax and be happy. And thankfully my body was smart enough to automatically grab the resources it needed before I stepped out.
It’s amazing what happens when you trust yourself enough to come up with whatever you need whenever you need to perform well, isn’t it?