Have you ever noticed that the richest guys are the ones that seem to attract the most money? The guy that doesn’t care whether or not he gets the girl is the one they are all flocking around? Has the opposite every happened to you? The more you need money, the harder it seems to come by? The more you like a girl or a guy, the less they seem to want to have anything to do with you? Is there any reason behind this? Well, believe it or not, there is.
While it is important to set clear goals and know what it is you want in life, it’s also important to detach from results at the same time. If that sounds a little bit too esoteric, let me explain. When I say detach from results, I mean be excessively needy. Think about somebody that you know is needy, or clingy. Are they a pleasure to be around? Do you enjoy their company? Have you ever been on a date with somebody, and their whole world seemed to depend on your approval, so much that they even became a little bit angry when you didn’t constantly tell them how much you cared for them? If you have, then you know what I’m talking about.Â
The same goes true for money. Imagine you are the hiring manager. Somebody comes in for an interview. Instead of giving you their qualifications, they spend the whole interview telling you how much they really need the job. Their car is in danger of being repossessed, they are behind on their mortgage payments, their world is in shambles. Would you rather hire this person, or hire the other guy who has several other companies that are interested in hiring him?
While it is extremely helpful to cultivate a burning desire, if you focus that desire on one specific thing, it can lead to trouble, and will shun people and opportunities rather than attract them. The secret is to create a general burning desire, but with a sort of vague hole for the specific thing itself. Allow me to explain.
Let’s say you have a burning desire to start a business. You really want it. You visualize it every night. You meditate on it every morning. You think, live and breath business. You read business ideas. Then an opportunity comes along. If you shift all of your desire on to this particular opportunity too quickly, you will lose sight of your overall objective. You need to have a clear objective, so that you can measure each opportunity against your objective to see if it matches up. Instead of thinking “this is it! This is my dream!” it might be better to be thinking “Let’s see if this matches up, if not, I’ll move on.” It is essential to develop a belief that you will succeed no matter what, so that you can objectively evaluate each opportunity.
The same goes for creating a new relationship. If you have a fairly good idea of the kind of person you’d like to get together with, combined with a solid belief of being successful in the long run, you’ll be unstoppable. Instead of having the “I hope she’s the one” attitude that so many people unfortunately have, you can have the “Let’s see if she is the one” attitude, knowing full well that if she isn’t you can easily move on to somebody else.
The key is to have a burning desire for the condition that you want, be it a solid business, a healthy relationship, or anything else you’d like to create in your life. Then you combine that with a laid back, let’s see approach to each individual “candidate” for the position, and you will easily achieve what you want in life.