Category Archives: Communication Skill

How to Remove Public Speaking Fear and Skyrocket Your Sales Skills

If you are in sales, any kind of sales, there is one skill you can learn that will have a powerful effect on all your other skills for selling. And when you realize in almost every interaction you have with others, you are selling something at some level. An idea, your point of view, a behavior that you want others to perform. Whether you are going to convince that gorgeous woman to come over to your place for dinner, or persuade your kids to finish their homework before watching TV, you are selling something.

And there is one powerful skill that can dramatically help you in all aspects of this. That, of course, is public speaking. I’m sure you know that public speaking is the number one fear of people today. Almost everybody dreads the idea of being called up to speak. If you’ve ever had to give a toast, or even introduce somebody to large group of people, you know how nerve wracking it can be. Overcoming public speaking fear can be the singularly most beneficial decision you can make. It will increase your self-confidence, increase your self-esteem, and give you much more clarity of thought when choosing your words during normal, every day conversations.

And if you are in an honest to goodness sales job, where you have to put yourself in front of people day in and day out, overcoming the anxiety of public speaking can do wonders for your closing ratio. It’s a well-known fact that giving talks on a regular basis, regardless of what business you are in can do wonders for your income.

So how does one go about reducing public speaking fears? How can you banish public speaking anxiety once and for all? There are two ways to approach this. One is through various forms of mental imagery and visualization, training your brain to think of speaking in a different way, so it doesn’t cause you the anxiety that it might have before. These can be a wonderful way to make it feel easy and natural to not only feel comfortable giving public speeches, but to look forward to doing them as well.

One way to do this is to imagine the feeling you will get when you finish your speech, and you can hear the applause of the audience. Really get a good picture in your mind of what that looks like, sounds like, and feels like. Practice imagining that on a regular basis, until that thought becomes second nature, and not whatever thought you used to think that gave you the problems.

Another mental trick is to imagine the benefit the audience will receive from your speech. How will it help them? How can they use the information? When you think in terms of this, you will be less likely to imagine them judging and scrutinizing you, and more likely to imagine them thankful to you for doing them favor by sharing your unique information with them.

The second way of extinguishing your public speaking anxiety once and for all is to simply speak as often as possible. Every time you think of speaking, and grow anxious, and then get out of speaking, it reinforces the thought that public speaking is dangerous. When you begin to speak in public as often as possible, anywhere were there are people within earshot that don’t know you, you will gain confidence. Anywhere you can do this will work. Talking to strangers in line at the supermarket, making an announcement at the dinner table at home, if you have a large family, volunteering at your church. Toastmaster is a great place to practice these skills in a friendly, supportive environment.

When you combine the mental tricks outlined above, and the habit of speaking as often as possible, any fear or anxiety you have associated with public speaking will quickly vanish, and your skills of selling and persuading will skyrocket, not to mention your self-confidence and self-esteem. Learning to feel comfortable while speaking in public can very well be one of the greatest, and cheapest, self improvement and self-development programs at your disposal.

How to Maximize Body Language for Flirting and Attraction

One thing that every man must have in his arsenal of dating skills is a solid understanding of female body language. You can powerfully increase your flirting and attraction with some basic knowledge in this area. Despite the ignorance of most guys in this area, body language is one of the least understood communication skills. It is something that I not taught in schools, not spoken about much in men’s magazines, nor discussed with men over beers at the local pub on a Friday night.

The shocking truth of how powerful body language is came to me several years ago after reading a book on the subject. I was sitting in a meeting at work, a very large meeting, with the big boss talking to all the employees. There had been several rumors floating around about mergers, and relocation. I worked at a large medical products company, and up until then all of the products were manufactured on sight in southern California. Had they decided to shift manufacturing to another location for cheap labor, such as Mexico, many jobs would be lost.

Because everybody was hearing these rumors, the big boss decided to hold meeting in an attempt to calm everybody down. I happened to be sitting in the front row. After dancing around the issue as eloquently as he could, somebody finally asked a direct question:

“Are we going to lose our jobs to Mexico?”

His answer:

“I promise, we will always manufacture our products in the United States.”

Everybody seemed to accept this answer, except me. When he said it, he was leaning back, half standing, half leaning against the podium, his legs were crossed at the ankles, and neither of his the souls of his shoes were touching the floor. His arms were crossed in front of him, and he wasn’t looking anybody in the eye.

His word said one thing, but his body language said something completely different. He was lying. Apparently, I was the only one who noticed, as the rumors stopped.

Until about three months later, when they announced, seemingly out of the blue that the entire manufacturing department was shutting down. Hundreds of jobs, hundreds of people that had worked there for many years, were lost.

Luckily, because I was able to read his body language instead of his words, I had been actively searching for a job in the meantime, so I was prepared.

This is an example of male/male body language communication, which can be powerful during negotiations, interviews, detecting if somebody is lying. They can be just as powerful when flirting or trying to attract the woman of your dreams.

This is one area that unfortunately many men are completely clueless on. To say this is the weakest point of male communication would be an understatement. I once watched a friend of mine try (unsuccessfully) to pick up a girl in a bar. She was sitting her friend at a table. He stopped, and was standing above her. (Not a good idea by the way, you seem too intimidating when you do this.) Every time he leaned in to speak to her, she would lean back, and unconsciously touch her necklace.

Leaning back is an obvious STAY AWAY, but the necklace touching is also a huge sign of disinterest. She was unconsciously protecting her neck, a very vulnerable part of the body. When I asked my friend about this later, he said he had no idea that was going on.

Next time you are at a bar or a club, and are trying to impress the ladies, paying subtle attention to her body language can go a long way.

Is she open? Is she protecting her vulnerable areas? Are her breasts pointed at you or away from you? When she talks does she look at you, or is she looking around the room? What about her feet? Are they pointed at you or away?

While difficult at first, paying attention to her body language can give you a powerful edge in your flirting and seduction efforts. By only paying attention to girls that are into you, you will spend a lot less effort, and save yourself a lot of frustration, heartache, and time.

And a great side benefit is because you will only be paying attention to girls that are paying attention to you, your self-confidence and self-esteem will shoot through the roof. Before you know it you’ll be able to read the body language of an entire room, and determine right away whom you should talk to, and whom you should leave to all other guys out there who haven’t been enlightened by this article.