How To Choose a Good Role Model

The other day a friend was telling me about his superhero collection. He doesn’t have actual superheroes, only those action figures that you used to play with when you were kids. Or maybe you didn’t. Or maybe you still play with them. Or maybe you know somebody that either played with them then, or still plays with them now. Either way I’m sure you can understand this.

They are small plastic representations of large representations of our collective imagination’s metaphorical representation of somebody who will defend us against even more metaphorical evils. Which is a lot of metaphorical levels of representation, if you ask me.

I recently read a book on metaphors by a guy named George Lakoff, titled Metaphors We Live By. If you happen to be getting over an addiction to hallucinogenic drugs, and you need a fix, I’d recommend this book. This will spin your mind in directions you didn’t think possible. He explains how our whole model of communication is based on metaphors, as we cannot adequately describe our reality, simply because our body/mind systems can only see such a small sliver of reality. Our words themselves are only metaphorical representations of thoughts, mostly abstract, though some can concrete and discrete.

I asked my friend which was his favorite superhero, and said Spiderman, without any hesitation. I asked him why, and he said Spiderman isn’t like all the other superheroes, at least not the most popular ones. Spiderman is an ordinary, average guy, that has ordinary average struggles. Girls, money, work, boss. Things that you can relate to. Things that make you identify with him. So when Spiderman takes on some hugely evil criminal with all kinds of magical evil powers, he is taking him on as an ordinary average guy, and not some guy that came here when he was baby in a spaceship.

I think it’s important to have good role models at any stage in life. In fact, I think the term “role model” is kind of a misnomer. It’s generally thought of as somebody that kids can look up to. A solid father or mother figure that can live by example and show you how to make the right decisions. How to realize that you can learn to do anything. The best way to overcome life’s struggles and slowly but surely become a better person as you move on.

I read another book (that was a while ago, so unfortunately I can’t remember the name or the title) that recommended ALWAYS having a role model. Some people recommend having role models as children, and then mentors as adults. The problem with looking for a mentor, is that you actually have to be in contact in some way with the person who is mentoring. The great thing about role models is you can watch them on TV, or read about them in the newspaper or a book, and still benefit from their guidance. You don’t even have to be alive at the same time. Many people choose religious figures from history as role models.

This book went on to describe that is important to choose role model that is not so far out of reach that you can’t see yourself as this person, but not so close to you that it’s not a stretch. And the book recommended having different models in different areas of life. For example, you can use Bill Gates as your role model if you are starting a business, and you can use Tiger Woods as your role model if you want to improve your golf. Another great thing about choosing role models is that you can choose them for any behavior at all, regardless of whether or not that is their most widely acknowledged skill. For example, most would people would model President Obama for his public speaking abilities, or charisma, or skills of negotiation. But what about his posture, or his fashion sense? You could even by a dyed in the wool Republican and still benefit from modeling him for certain behaviors that you would find beneficial in your own life.

When you begin to get creative with the people you choose to model, you’ll realize that anybody, from anywhere, anytime can be modeled for you to take on some of their characteristics. You don’t even have to speak their language. The world is filled with billions of people that have untold resources of behaviors that you can tap to vastly improve your life. All you need is some imagination.

The best way to do this, is to simply watch them, or imagine that you are watching them perform the behavior you’d like to take on. Watch them a few times, and then substitute an image of yourself in their place. Then watch yourself a few times. Then float into yourself, and feel yourself doing the same action. This might seem strange at first, but you can quickly get the hang of it. The more you do this, you sooner you’ll realize yourself starting to take on characteristics of your model.

But, yea, I agree that Spiderman is a great role model for a number of reasons. Courage, commitment, justice, just to name a few.