Monthly Archives: January 2018

Think Beyond Constraints

The Greatest Human Invention

Most animals are locked into their existence.

The things they want and the behaviors they do to get them are inseparable.

They are both programmed by instincts to want certain things, and those same instincts drive them to get certain things.

If a monkey is hungry, he has only a few options.

And he can only live in an environment that satisfies those options.

Humans are similar, but with one VERY IMPORTANT difference.

We are like every other animal.

We need continuous energy to survive.

We need to burn energy to get energy.

If we burn more than we consume, we lose weight.

If we burn less than we consume, we gain weight.

But there is ONE THING in between our actions and our desires.

If monkey wants a banana, he has to climb a tree.

We humans invented something called money.

In terms of our long history, this invention was pretty recent.

But once money was invented, the amount of stuff EXPLODED.

Before, humans were just like monkeys.

We had to DO STUFF to GET STUFF.

Now we can do stuff to get money.

And we can use that money to get WHATEVER STUFF we want.

Whereas before, the stuff we could get was highly related to the stuff we could do.

Once that ancient connection was broken (by the invention of money) the amount and variety of STUFF exploded.

Most people, when they think about money, associate it with lack.

Scarcity.

Something they want but can’t get.

But in the last few thousand years, the OPPOSITE has been true.

BECAUSE of money, there is more STUFF.

And not like, “I have some money so now I can buy some stuff.”

The outcome of money being INVENTED was that tons of STUFF was invented.

For humans as a species, money SOLVED the scarcity problem.

And since this is still going on, there is still more stuff being invented and built every single day, this relationship holds true.

So why do we feel lack and scarcity on a personal level?

Most of us have wrong money beliefs built in since before we could speak.

As did our parents, and their parents.

But some lucky folks are born WITHOUT money-scarcity thinking.

They aren’t any smarter.

Most millionaires weren’t born millionaires.

But they had a unique collection of thinking that made them look out into the world and NOT see lack, but see tons of opportunities.

And they acted upon those opportunities (or made them) and got rich.

So can you.

Once you re-calibrate your brain.

Learn How:

Wealth Tuning

Far Away Dreams

Have You Been To Charm School?

No matter who you are, you have to learn skills as you go through life.

That’s one of the many differences between humans and all the other life forms on this planet.

Humans come with tons of instincts.

But we also come with tons of learning capability.

Even way back in the day when we were hunter-gathers, we had to continuously learn.

Since we were nomads, nothing was ever the same.

Different environment, different source of food, different climate, different things to be worried about.

Now, with our massively complex society, continuous learning and updating your skills is pretty much a given.

Like the Red Queen in “Alice in Wonderland,” you have to keep running just to stay in place.

When it comes to learning, there are two kinds of skills.

Skills that start off in the “unconscious incompetence” area, or the skills that start off in the “unconscious competence” area.

Most people only ever consider the first collection of skills.

The ones we don’t know we suck at, or unconscious incompetence.

Some new technology is invented, so we need to learn it.

Before it was invented, nobody knew anything about it, so we didn’t know that we didn’t know.

Then we know that we don’t know (conscious incompetence), and then we know that we sort of know (conscious competence).

A few people take it to the level of unconscious competence.

Meaning they are skilled, and do so without thinking.

For most of us, this comes in doing simple things like riding bikes or tying our shoes.

But there is a whole other realm of learning.

Of taking something we are born knowing how to do.

These are the things that start off as unconscious competence.

Walking, talking, interacting with people.

These are the things we tend to think we’re either “good” at or “not good” at.

And if we see somebody who is “good” at one of these skills, we shrug our shoulders as if there’s nothing we can do.

This, however, is false.

You can take any instinctive skill (unconscious competence) and raise it to the conscious competence level.

Back in the old days, girls would do this.

They would go to “charm school” to learn how to take their unconscious behavior (walking, talking etc.) and refine it.

Of course, in today’s society we’re told to just “be yourself.”

Which is perfectly fine.

If you are happy with what you are getting as your “authentic self,” that’s fantastic.

But your “authentic self” can be refined any way you like.

A particularly effective way is how you use your language.

Most people have half baked thoughts they try to describe with haphazardly chosen words.

But you can learn to use your language with extreme precision.

And deadly force.

Learn How:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Yay!

One BILLION Dollars!

One of the paradoxes of being assertive is what we think we’ll happen.

This is due to the very squirrely nature of our brain.

We want something, we are scared of doing it, but we don’t like to admit we’re scared of doing it.

Since that would make us feel bad on an ego-level, we use all kinds of biases and cognitive dissonance to reframe what’s going on around us.

Often times we’ll be in a situation where somebody asks us a favor, and we don’t think much of it.

And then they ask another favor, and we go ahead and help them.

But the third time they ask, we’re starting to feel like they are taking advantage of us.

But since we didn’t say anything the first time, it’s hard to speak up now.

And in those few situations where we do speak up, it’s hard to maintain our cool.

Being assertive means to plainly say, “no,” without needing to give a reason.

But there are other ways.

Easier ways.

And even more playful ways that are not only just as effective, but may even enhance the relationship.

Instead of just going along with any unexpected requests, ask what you get in return.

From the askers point of view, this is very hard to argue with.

Unless they are your direct boss (or a cop) they aren’t going to say:

“What do you mean what do you get? Your job is to obediently serve me!”

The opposite usually happens.

Especially if you ask playfully.

Simply state their request back, to make sure you understand.

That will make them feel good, since you’re demonstrating that you’re actually paying attention to what they said.

Then playfully say, “Ok, after I do that, what will I get?”

This presupposes you will fulfill their request, and that they’ll give you something in return.

They won’t have anticipated this, but they will enjoy the question.

It implies an ongoing “tit for tat” relationship.

It’s also a good way screen out freeloaders.

You can even playfully put them on the spot.

Since they won’t have anticipated that response, they’ll usually (and honestly) ask, “What do you want?”

To which you can reply:

“One BILLION dollars!”

And say it like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers (making sure you put a lot of emphasis on the “B”).

This will do a lot of things.

One is it will send a clear message that you are not a pushover.

Two is it will make it much more fun to “defend your boundaries.”

Three is they will honestly feel obligated to return the favor.

This is a very playful way to deal with folks you suspect are trying to sneak past your boundaries.

There are plenty others.

Learn More:

Weaponized Hypnosis

One For The Road

Be The Man With No Name

We all love super hero movies.

Even if they aren’t in costumes or call themselves “heroes” we love the idea of good guys and bad guys.

A decade or so ago, Clint Eastwood was receiving some kind of lifetime achievement award.

So they had a lot of celebrities giving speeches and making jokes.

I remember Jim Carrey’s speech.

He said when he was a kid, he loved the “spaghetti westerns.”

Mostly about a bad ass cowboy with no name.

The reason, Carrey explained, that we love the common “hero with no name” archetype is because it makes it easier for us to imagine that WE are the hero.

Some hero’s need to go through intense character arcs, others not so much.

But the idea of “good” and “evil” is very ancient.

Lots of philosophies and religions try to describe it, explain it, but so far, none have done so with much success.

That evil exists is about all they can agree on.

And like plenty of the characters in those movies, there are many ways to deal with evil.

The reason we LOVE seeing the hero destroy the bad guy is that we would love to, but most of us just run in the other direction.

When normal people DO step in and stop bad things from happening, EVERYBODY is quick to call them a hero.

Everybody loves the guy or girl who can stick up for those who can’t defend themselves.

Does this mean you need to practice in your dojo for an hour a day and carry a Glock 19 everywhere?

That’s certainly an option, but it’s not the only option.

And it would only work in certain situations.

Where you need to defend yourself physically.

Unfortunately, plenty of “evil” attacks don’t come in physical from.

They come very subtly.

Hidden between the surface structure words.

When they are directed at you, it hurts, but you don’t know why.

It’s like they are punching in the face with an invisible hand.

You can, however, practice in the dojo of your mind.

And develop extremely wicked linguistic self defense skills.

You can avoid the punches.

You can block the punches.

Or you can punch back.

With as much mental devastation as you like.

Learn More:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Don't Be Left Behind

Release The Hounds

Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile.

Everybody wants stuff.

And everybody has to do stuff to get stuff.

This is true on a pure energy level.

You’ve got to move your body to get food.

We have deep and ancient instincts to make sure we eat more calories than we burn.

Our body fat is a helpful energy storage system.

Like our own private energy savings account.

To help this, we all have these programs in the back of our mind that are always running.

So we (or rather our subconscious) is always on the lookout for shortcuts.

Ways to get more stuff with less effort.

You might say this deep programming is responsible for all the inventions we have.

Normally this is a very good thing.

But sometimes it works against us.

Because that same program (get more stuff with less effort) isn’t just for physical stuff, it’s for everything.

Every time we are negotiating a sales price, for example, both sides want to maximize what they get and minimize what they give.

This also happens in relationships.

All relationships.

Friends, lovers, family members

We all have that deep programming that says “get more with less effort.”

This is the heart of all emotional abuse.

Somebody wants something from you.

So they first try to get it for free.

If that doesn’t work, they’ll get it as cheaply as they can.

This is when they slightly test your boundaries.

Kind of like a couple of cat burglars sneaking around the outside of your house.

They’re checking if you have a dog or an alarm system.

Once they get up close, (and realize you have no dog or alarm system) the next step is to look around for an open window.

This is what people do when they carefully test your boundaries.

Some people are respectful and polite, and don’t do this.

They are the types who spend a lot of conscious effort so they don’t offend others.

But some people aren’t like that.

Their only guideline is “don’t get caught.”

And most of the time they don’t.

They slightly test everybody.

Those that push back, they leave alone.

But those that don’t, they remember.

And ever so slightly, keep carefully and subtly pushing against their boundaries.

Some do it just for the thrill.

Others want your money, your sex, or your compliance.

Luckily, guard dogs and alarms systems are easy to install.

Metaphorically, this means understanding the linguistic structure of their covert attacks.

Then you can be like Mr. Burns on The Simpsons.

Super rich guy with a huge house on a huge piece of property.

He would watch people walk onto his property via close circuit TV.

Once they got in close enough, he would give the order.

“Release the hounds.”

You can do the same.

Learn How:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Dangerous Dudes Are Everywhere

Covert Sumo Defense Tactics

It’s very common for humans to look for shortcuts.

We are hard wired to look for anything that will maximize our return, and minimize our efforts.

Paradoxically, this is the driving force that has been behind our path as humans from the days of ancient hunter-gathers to modern life.

All the inventions, creations and ideas were based on one simple concept.

“There’s GOT to be an easier way of doing this!”

Businesses and customers are forever locked in the same battle.

Business want to minimize costs and maximize profits.

Customers want to minimize purchase price and maximize what we get for that purchase.

When businesses compete for our money, it’s a wonderful thing.

Fast food wars, for example, force all businesses to come up with the cheapest menu items.

If you’re the kind of person who likes to stumble through your local fast food joint on the way home from your local bar, this is a wonderful thing.

Get a sack of burgers for a few bucks.

Other kind of competition is not so nice.

Especially when not everybody knows there’s a competition.

Sure, when you’ve got a street lined with shops, everybody knows what’s up.

Cheapest price, best product, best customer service, cutest waitresses, etc.

It’s all part of the game.

But when you go into a meeting, and you’re thinking it’s just to share ideas, but your coworker has decides he or she is competing, and he or she is competing against you, that’s when it gets dirty.

From the boss’ point of view they might even like the competition.

It saves them from having to make a decision.

Even within social groups, friendships and romantic relationships, there can be some “beneath the surface” competition going on.

It’s almost like covert Sumo wrestling.

Two huge guys rush each other and try to push the other guy off balance.

When both guys know what’s, it’s called sport.

But when one person is doing this conversationally and covertly, it can feel pretty crappy.

There you are trying to have a regular conversation, and they’re slipping in deadly blows that push you off balance and make you feel weak.

Many people unfortunately don’t feel strong unless they make others feel weak.

If it’s a schoolyard bully, you can punch him in the face, or kick him in the nuts.

But if it’s emotional, and covert?

How the heck do you defend against it?

With this:

Weaponized Hypnosis

The Kids Are Not All Right

Dirt In The Sleeping Bag

I remember the first time I was bullied.

This kid had just joined my boy scout troop.

We were on a backpacking trip.

It wasn’t serious bullying, but it bothered me.

There was about a dozen kids and three or four scoutmasters.

Like most bullies, he knew how to delivery the taunting when nobody was looking.

Even NFL players know to do this strategically.

They slam an opposing player, verbally or physically.

But they do it strategically.

When the ref isn’t looking.

And the initiating player is HOPING for a response from the other player.

And THAT response is usually much BIGGER than the initial response.

And THAT response is the one the ref’s see and penalize.

But that is a strategic offense.

When I was in boy scouts, the guy was taunting me knowing I wouldn’t do anything in return.

This is the usual operating procedure of bullies.

They know to taunt you JUST ENOUGH to punish you, but not so much that they suspect you might do something.

Kind of like a cat playing with a mouse before eating it.

In my case, it went on for a couple of days.

Until I blew a gasket.

The whole time I was terrified that if I did anything back, it would get worse.

So when I acted, I wasn’t really thinking.

We were lying in our sleeping bags, all in a row.

And he had chosen the spot just next to me.

So he could mess with me during the night.

But I finally had enough.

After the third or fourth time, I sat up, angry, and scooped up a handful of dirt and through it into his sleeping bag.

I was prepared for a vicious response, but it never came.

And he never bothered me again.

People that throw subtle insults are very clever.

They say things in a very subtle way.

Even if others are watching, and know what just happened, nobody usually says anything.

After all, sticks and stones right?

If they say anything, they might invite the same subtle digs.

The good news is there is a way to put the spotlight IMMEDIATELY on the person throwing the subtle insult.

And it works by asking a VERY innocent question.

One that will give you one hundred percent plausible deniability.

But will make the offender feel VERY MUCH on the spot.

And just like throwing dirt in their sleeping bag, they’ll never bother you again.

Learn How:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Beware

Don’t Be A One Trick Pony

Some skills are transferable, while others aren’t.

Michael Jordan showed this when he tried to play baseball.

Arguably one of the greatest basketball players of all time, he absolutely sucked at baseball.

Barely could hold his own in AA minor leagues.

No doubt he was a gifted athlete.

But his gifts were only good in one very specialized area.

Exercise in general is a good metaphor for life skills.

Bodybuilders, for example, work out to create a FORM.

Where athletes, on the other hand, work out to create FUNCTION.

In many areas, form follows function, and function follows form.

If you’re happy, you’ll smile.

If you are sad and FORCE yourself to walk around with a goofy grin on your face, you will put yourself in a good mood.

The smile (form) creates the function (happiness).

And the happiness (function) creates the form (smile).

But athletes that work out for function reasons (like baseball and football players) don’t always have good FORM (not form of play, but form of appearance).

Some lineman for example, are not exactly svelte.

On the other hand, a world class bodybuilder that has 0.2% body fat and looks like a Greek sculpture, probably couldn’t play any sport to save his life.

One famous athlete that had both form AND function was Bruce Lee.

A world class fighter, but also a very impressive form.

In some cases, form and function are very tightly related.

Generally speaking, anything like martial arts where you train your body to be used in a WIDE VARIETY of ways is going to increase the connection between form and function.

Linemen, on the other hand, only need short bursts of explosive strength.

Skilled martial artists need speed, strength, agility, stamina and flexibility.

It’s very hard to create all that function without creating impressive form.

Language is the same way.

When you develop your language to be used defensively, you’re guaranteed to get tons of secondary benefits.

Benefits that can help you make money and build relationships.

After all, skills are skills.

And the more areas in which you can practice using them, the more flexible your skills will be.

Most martial artist never intend on getting into a street fight.

But they aren’t afraid of them either.

You can use your words the same way.

To win hearts and clients, or to destroy minds.

Giving you a MASSIVE range of confidence.

Learn More:

Weaponized Hypnosis